昨日奇迹

Don't be stupid.
你只是需要一个更大的场子
You're gonna need a bigger tent.
你只是需要一个更大的场子
You're gonna need a bigger tent.
可以了 够了 你不能再这样装作
No, okay, stop. You gotta stop pretending
活在一个大故事里 结尾总是大团圆
that we're in a thrilling story with a big, exciting end.
我们只是小人物 该结束了
We're in a little story and it ends now.
我想我在我的歌♥里听到了一些特别的东西
I think I hear something special in my songs,
你也觉得你听到了特别的东西
you think you hear something special,
这也是我爱你的地方
and I love you for it.
但没有其他人听到 从没有人听到
But no one else does. No one ever has.
尼克喜欢听《夏日恋歌♥》啊
Uh, Nick loves "The Summer Song."
尼克是个出了名的大蠢蛋
Nick is famously a world-class moron.
直到现在都没有人 那以后也不会有了
If it hasn't happened by now, it's not going to.
除非奇迹发生
It'll take a miracle.
奇迹会发生的
Miracles happen.
我认真的
I mean it.
我是很认真地在谈这个
This is a serious moment for me.
绝对不可能
This is just absolutely not happening.
听着 我不可能成为我们小时候幻想的明星
Look, I can't be the star that we thought I could be at 14,
我们十四岁 在学校大礼堂
on that day in the school hall
我翻唱了很好听的《迷墙》
when I sang a pretty cool cover of "Wonderwall"
而你就在后台
and you were there, backstage.
-风太大了听不清 -好吧 但真的
- I'm not hearing a word. - Okay, but look.
这个 就是我最后一场了
This, this was my last gig.
而且我很高兴你一直陪着我
And I'm so happy you were there.
这就是我们的漫长蜿蜒路的终点了
This is the end of our long and winding road.
世界上充满了奇迹的 真的
Come on! The world is full of miracles.
比如呢
Like what?
本尼迪克·康伯巴奇成了个性感的明星
Benedict Cumberbatch becoming a sex symbol.
你会改变主意的
You'll change your mind.
我不会的 是时候开始更好的生活了
I won't. This is the start of a better life.
而且我现在感觉很自在
And I'm... feeling perky about it.
晚安 摇滚明星
Night-night, rock star.
你也晚安
Yeah. Night-night.
你还好吧 伙计
You all right, mate?
只允许几分钟 好吗
Just a few minutes, okay?
我可以只说一件事吗
Can I just say one thing?
只是想 警告你
Just to... warn you.
我和医生聊过了 他说你
I've spoken with the doctor and you,
你还能下地的
you will walk again.
但你的胡子
But you have lost your beard
和两颗大门牙 没了
and, um, two big teeth.
而且尽管这是件令人悲伤的事情
And even though it should be sad,
但还是很好笑
it's actually very funny, unfortunately.
所以除了所有的痛苦和不便
So despite all the pain and inconvenience,
也没有人会可怜你的
you're not even gonna get any sympathy.
人们只会嘲笑你
People will just laugh at you.
怎么了
What happened?
不知道
No one knows.
全球都这样
It was all over the world.
断电断了12秒
Electricity flicked off for 12 seconds.
就在那一瞬间 有一个巴士撞了你
You were just unlucky that at that exact moment,
真是不幸
a big bus hit you.
你记不记得他们觉得
You know, the weird thing they thought
2000年的午夜会有怪事发生
was gonna happen at midnight when we hit 2000?
-是啊 公元2000年 -还真发生了
- Oh, yeah, Y2K. - It sort of happened.
是很重大的新闻 但是你完全错过了
It was very big news which, um, you missed entirely.
因为车祸
Because of the bus.
好了 我得回学校了
Right. I've gotta get back to school.
-艾尔 -怎么了
- Elle? - Yeah?
谢谢你这么照顾我
Thanks for taking such good care of me.
客气了 我过会儿回来
You're welcome. I'll come back later.
等我6♥4♥岁的时候
Will you still need me,
你还会需要我 照顾我吗
will you still feed me, when I'm 6♥4♥?
这可说不准 我得考虑考虑
I don't know. I'll think about it.
-为什么是6♥4♥岁 -你这样说是什么意思
- Why 6♥4♥? - What do you mean?
就是 算了 当我没说
It's just... oh, forget it.
你是什么意思 为什么是6♥4♥岁
What do you mean, "Why 6♥4♥?"
我觉得车祸就是上帝给我的信息
I think the accident was a message from God.
是的 他非常生气
Yeah, he was very angry.
艾尔 你觉得我被巴士撞上
Elle, you think me getting hit by a bus
是上帝在告诉我不要回去教书了吗
was God's way of telling me not to go back to teaching?
正是
Exactly.
简直难以置信 太神奇了
Incredible. It's amazing.
你知道吗 上帝喜欢你的一些天赋
You know, God loves your stuff.
听着 如果上帝真的对我有丝毫的兴趣
Look, if God had been remotely interested in my stuff,
他就会曾经 是的 哪怕只有一次
he would've once, right, just once,
让除了我妈妈之外的人给我写一封粉私信
had someone write me a fan letter who wasn't my mum.
或除了我之外的其他人
Or me.
是的
Yeah.
我没有说要成为甲壳虫乐队
I didn't ask to be The Beatles,
你知道吗 我只想要哪怕一次起立鼓掌
you know, I just wanted once to have a standing ovation
而不是那些本来就站在酒吧边的人的掌声
not given by people who were already standing at the bar.
成为什么
Be the what?
-噢 天呐 -噢 对喔
- Oh, my God. - Oh, yeah.
卡罗尔 快过来看
Carol, come and look!
我知道艾莉说过很搞笑
I know Ellie said it was funny,
但没有人提过看起来竟然如此搞笑
but no one mentioned visual humor of this quality.
杰克 噢 天呐 你的牙齿
Jack! Oh, my God! Your teeth.
茄子 噢 哇哦
Cheese! Oh, wow.
快拿礼物 礼物
Presents, presents,
-礼物 -礼物 礼物 是的
- presents. - Mm, presents, presents. Yes, yes.
是真的 我们给你带了些礼物
It's true, we have bought you presents.
真令人兴奋 显而易见 他们
Exciting. Well, they have, obviously.
工作很忙 是的
Huge work week. Yeah, yeah.
来看看我们有什么
What do we have here?
好的 好的
Okay, okay, okay.
因为你失去了门牙 所以 你明白的
Because you lost your teeth. That's... Yeah, I know.
所以才那么搞笑 好吧
That's why that's funny. Okay.
-第二件 -你从哪儿买♥♥到的
- Number two. - Where did you get that?
因为你被巴士撞了 我记得
'Cause you got hit by a bus. Yeah, I remember.
你记得吗
Do you?
-好笑死个人了 -记得
- Hilarious. - Yeah.
好了 还有一个
All right. One more.
我在上面签了你的名字 别担心
I've signed your name, don't worry.
是的 还有一个
One more, yes.
我不知道这会是什么
I don't know what this one could possibly be.
我也不知道
Oh, my... Neither do I. No idea.
我的意思是 我觉得可能是某种雪铲
I mean, I'm thinking some sort of snow shovel.
或者没有腿的小长颈鹿
Or a... tiny little giraffe with no legs.
打开它 打开它
Just open it, open it, open it.
好的
Okay.
因为你被巴士撞了
'Cause yours got run over by a bus.
随便弹点什么
Well, play something.
是的 弹点什么 来吧
Yes, play something. Come on.
就弹《夏日恋歌♥》 让我们忘记这些经历
Play "The Summer Song." Let me get rid of this.
是什么在滴答滴答摇摆
What's tickin' and tockin' and rockin'?
-是的 -他在这里做什么
- Yeah! - Oh! What is he doing here?
他被解雇了 现在和我们在一起
Yeah, he got sacked. He's staying with us,
睡沙发 真是个灾难
sleeping on the sofa. That is a disaster
也许他会一直住下去
that could last forever...
是的 错误的决定
Yep. Terrible decision.
是的 它会毁了你一生
That's right. ...and ruin your entire life.
绝对是
Absolutely.
真高兴你还活着
Hey, really glad you're not dead, man.
他有了一副新吉他
He's got a new guitar.
他准备唱歌♥
He's gonna play a song.
一个好的吉他需要配上一首好歌♥
A great guitar requires a great song.
♪ 昨日 ♪
♪ Yesterday ♪
♪ 一切烦恼仿佛那么遥远 ♪
♪ All my troubles seemed so far away ♪
♪ 如今却好像都缠绕着我不肯离去 ♪