妙房东与俏房客（1963）

I have more experience. ...but good night!
这孩子真鲁莽
The kid's impetuous.
好了 我们就当是你在
All right, let's just look at it as if you were
跟你的牧师谈话
having a talk with your minister.
出去!
Out!
他栽了
Boy, he's in trouble...
亲爱的 你在跟谁说话?
Honey, who are you talking to?
晚上好 我亲爱的
Good evening, my dear.
你穿着这可爱的小霓裳真好看
How pretty you look in that adorable little outfit there.
什么? 哦!
What? Oh!
戴维在哪里? 戴维是谁?
Where is Dave? Dave who?
我奇怪这时候能是什么人
I wonder who that could be at this hour.
你在外面干什么?
Well, what are you doing out there?
呃 我刚刚...
Well, I just...
亲爱的 我想要你认识我们的房♥东 霍根先生
Honey, I want you to meet our landlord, Mr. Hogan.
我们认识了
Yeah, we've met.
戴维 别这样! 戴维 求你放开他!
David, stop that! David, please, take your hands off him!
戴维 真是的 我非常抱歉
David, really. I'm terribly sorry.
他太无礼了
He's very rude.
我其实是觉得此时可能合适
Actually, I thought it might be a nice time
我们一起来讨论你们租约的新条款
for all of us to discuss the new clauses in your lease.
什么新条款?
What new clauses?
你这小不正经
You naughty little thing, you.
你让我还以为是另一个姑娘与你同住
You led me to believe another girl was moving in here with you.
我可以解释 真的
I can explain that, really.
不 不必要 不用解释
No, it's not necessary, no apologies.
只是你要理解我不得不对租约做几个小调整
It's just you do understand I'll have to make a few minor adjustments
由于这种合租的非正统性
in the lease due to the unorthodox nature of this arrangement.
呃 关系是完全纯洁的 对 我们...
Well, it's all perfectly proper. Yeah, we...
我知道 你们知道
I know that, and you know it,
但扫黄队的福格蒂队长知道吗?
but does Captain Fogarty of the vice squad know it?
扫黄队?
Vice squad?
他在胡说八道 亲爱的
He's talking through his hat, honey.
幸亏上有政策下有对策 很简单
Well, fortunately, I found a solution. It's very simple.
我就在租约上给你们写假名
I just put you down on the lease under a fictitious name.
什么? 对 弗恩约翰逊
What? Yeah, Vern Johnson
和阿尔玛汉莫斯科德
and Alma Hammerschlod.
呃 霍根 我真的觉得我应该跟你详细解释
Well, Hogan, I really think I should explain all this to you.
你瞧 让我跟你讲讲戴维曼宁和我的事
You see... Well, let me tell you about Dave Manning and myself.
等一等 亲爱的 这事与他无关
Now, wait a minute, honey. It's none of his business.
你何不回楼上去
Why don't you just run back upstairs
让我们男人来了结这讨论?
and let us men conclude this discussion?
呃 他是房♥东 你不想要我无礼吧?
Well, he is the landlord. You wouldn't want me to be rude?
相信我 他甚至不会注意
Believe me, he wouldn't even notice. Now,
做个乖姑娘 好吗?
like a good girl, huh?
如果我不在场你们两位绅士可以和平相处
Well, if you two gentlemen can get along without me.
没事
Yeah, fine.
谢谢你送花 霍根
Well, thank you for the flowers, Hogan.
晚安 美女
Good night, you sweet thing.
晚安
Good night.
我希望你安睡 不被骚扰
You sleep tight and undisturbed, I hope.
好了 霍根 我们来打开天窗说亮话
Okay, Hogan, now let's clear the air, huh?
痛痛快快把话说清楚
Let's get everything said. Lay it on the line.
这是玩什么小游戏?
What is this little game?
听心杂音 医生要我不时检查
Heart murmur. Doc likes me to check it now and then.
我们男人之间就直说了 好的
Let's talk, man to man. Yeah.
老实说 你真的打算住在这里
Now, do you really, honestly, intend to live here
跟那个勾魂摄魄的绝色美女
with that absolutely, breathtakingly adorable creature
却永远不考虑欲欲吗?
and never even consider yum-yum?
你在说什么?
What are you talking about?
联谊会兄弟?
Fraternity man?
对对 德尔塔西 德尔塔...
Yeah, yeah, Delta Chi. Delta...
快来 快来
Come on. Come on.
呃 我...
Well, I don't...
我没坚持参加 你知道吗 快来
I don't keep up in it, you know. Come on.
德尔塔人! 是这样的啊!
A fellow Delta! Now, how about that!
有个兄弟就住在对门真是太好了
How wonderful to have a brother living right next...
呃 这就不一样了
Well, that changes everything.
我出于情义必须告诉你
Now, I'm honor bound to tell you.
告诉我什么?
Tell me what?
这样的安排永远行不通的
Well, this arrangement will never work.
为什么?
Why not?
朋友... 兄弟
Friend, you... Brother.
在你吃喝拉撒的内心深处
Well, deep down where you live,
在你不可告人的性♥欲♥上
in the secret recesses of your libido,
你知道这是不可能的 呃 我不...
you know it's impossible. Well, I don't...
睡在那前♥凸♥后♥翘♥的绝色美女两丈外?
With that gorgeous, undulating creature 20 feet away?
只靠你纤若蛛丝的意志力隔开?
Separated only by the gossamer-thin line of your willpower?
一百万年内不可能
Well, not in one million years.
呃 我打算试试
Well, I intend to try.
她信任我 你知道吗
She trusts me, you know.
只有一种可能的解决办法
There's only one possible solution.
什么办法?
What's that?
做锻炼
Exercise.
做锻炼?
Exercise?
代代相传
Well, down through the ages,
所知唯一能代替活塞运动的是身体运动
the only known substitute for sex is physical exertion.
做运动 解决性♥欲♥不求人
Well, take athletes. No trouble with their libidos.
对 真的让性♥欲♥全无
Yeah. They just don't have any.
全都发泄到运动场上了
It all goes onto the playing field.
你想想为什么学校这么重视体育?
Why do you think that schools stress sports so much?
呃 我猜是... 把荒唐行为发生率
Well, I guess it's... Keeps the rate of hanky-panky
降到最低
down to a minimum.
我从来没多想过是这样
I never thought too much about that.
你有杠铃或健身棒或哑铃
You got any barbells or Indian clubs or weights
或实心皮球或任何健身器材吗?
or medicine balls, or any of that stuff?
没有 我没进队...
No, I don't go in...
这是你唯一的希望
Well, that's your only hope.
我建议你就用俯卧撑
I suggest that you just wear yourself out
和仰卧起坐还有深屈膝来耗光体力
with the pushups and the sit-ups and the deep knee bends, too.
每次你的欲念蠢蠢欲动 你就俯卧撑
Every time that your little thoughts turn to yum-yum, you push up.
俯卧撑! 这是唯一的解决办法
Push up! Yeah, that's the only solution. Yeah.
戴维 他走了吗?
Dave, is he gone?
对 对 亲爱的
Yeah, yeah, honey.
非常感谢 霍根 我真的很感激
Thanks a lot, Hogan. I really appreciate this.
你干什么? 你要离开
Well, what are you doing, boy? You're leaving.
我还没有说完 你说完了 晚安 霍根
Well, I'm not through yet. Yes, you are. Good night, Hogan.
亲爱的 我来帮你弄
Honey, let me help you with that.
我想来弄 我可以弄
I meant to do it. I can do it.
不不不 这是女人的职责
No, no, no, no. That's woman's work.
我只是觉得这样分开睡
Well, I just thought this arrangement
能让我们接触最少
would give us the least amount of contact
在难以把持的时候
during the difficult hours.
对
Yeah.
这可能有点小小不便
It might be a little inconvenient,
但我觉得把诱惑降到最低
but I think it's important to keep enticements
兹事体大 对不对?
down to a minimum, don't you?
对
Yeah.
我...
I would...
抱歉
Excuse me.
都怪我 我本来弄好了 你说"是女人的职责"
It's my fault. I was over... "It's woman's work."
这种事我们将来要注意
That's one of the things we're going to have to watch.
对对对对
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
萝缤 我跟你说我的心思...
Rob, I tell you what I was thinking...
戴维 晚安
David, good night.
萝缤
Rob.
过来 过来
Come here. Come here.
晚安
Good night.
滚! 走开!
Get out! Get off of there!
戴维 什么声音?
Dave, what's that noise?
你在下面干什么?