结伴婚礼

对啊 我也这么觉得
Yeah. I bet I-I would have.
爱丽丝
Alice?
好吧 这他妈到底是个什么事啊
Okay. What the fuck was that?
等一下 等一下
Wait, wait.
这影子看起来像杰·雷诺的脸
That shadow looks just like Jay Leno's face.
你说得对
You're absolutely right.
这是他鼻子 这是他下巴
That's his nose. That's his chin.
-鼻子和下巴 -和下巴
- His nose and his chin. - And the chin.
本杰明
Benjamin!
-戴维斯叔叔 -本
- Uncle Davis. - Ben!
-你们好啊 -快过来 本
- Hi. Hey, guys. - Come on, Ben.
尝尝这个爽玩意儿吧 小伙子
Get in on this doobie, buddy.
对啊 本 尝尝这个爽玩意儿
Yeah, Ben. Get in on this doobie.
不了 谢谢 我不吸了
Uh, no, thanks. I'm all good on doobies for the night.
你♥爸♥去哪了 他以前挺喜欢这些的
Where's your dad? He used to love this stuff.
-他在里面 -这样啊
- He's inside. -Ah.
给你 吉米 轮到你了
Here you go, Jimmy. Your turn.
好 好吧 朋友们
Oh, okay. All right, guys.
我得走了
I'm gonna -- I have to take off.
-这么快 -我知道
- Oh. - I know!
真是个悲伤的故事 我知道
It's a tragedy. I know.
噢 本要带着他小女朋友溜了
Oh! Ben's got to run off with his little girlfriend.
-好吧 -你们
- All right. -You guys got to --
你要少抽点 戴维斯叔叔
You got to take it down a notch, Uncle Davis.
你们玩得开心
You having fun, huh?
都还顺利吗
Everything okay?
还不错 我们要不要去做点坏事
Yeah. Yeah. Um, can we go get fucked up?
本 我要告诉你一件事
Oh, Ben, I want you to know something.
在这个问题上 我从来没说过不
I'm never gonna say no to that.
走吧 我们去找些同龄人
Come on. Let's go find some people our own age.
♪ 没有任何一个稳定的平台 ♪
♪ In no solid state ♪
♪ 能让我们停下 ♪
♪ You know we can't cop to ♪
♪ 内心频繁的斗争 ♪
♪ The frequency of your inner debate ♪
♪ 你已经完全不在调上啦 ♪
♪ You're all out of tune ♪
多久
What was that?
-12秒 -什么 5分钟才对
- That was 12 seconds. - What? That was five minutes.
你真觉得你能憋5分钟气吗
You think you can hold your breath for five minutes?
我知道我可以
I know I can.
我觉得你远远高估了你的能力
I feel like you vastly overestimate your abilities.
我觉得我一切都尽在掌握之中 本
I think I perfectly estimate my everything, Ben.
那好吧
Okay. Fine.
我可以问你点事吗
Can I ask you something?
可以
Yeah.
你为什么没告诉我你♥爸♥爸订婚了
Why didn't you tell me your dad got engaged?
我不知道 我不知道
I don't know. I don't know.
我不想告诉你一些
I really didn't want to tell you something
我不想去考虑的事情
that I don't really want to think about.
好吧
Okay.
今晚他跟我说想让我做他的伴郎
He, uh, he asked me to be his best man tonight.
这样
Oh.
对
Yeah.
那你怎么说的
What'd you tell him?
我就溜了
I just kind of ran off.
果然是本呐
Classic Ben move.
我不知道啊 这件事这么突然 我哪知道
I don't know. I panicked. I don't know.
我还能怎么办
What am I supposed to do, you know?
给他办单身派对吗
Like, plan his bachelor party?
给他雇一个脱衣女郎
Hire him a stripper?
-这很奇怪 -确实很奇怪
- That's insane. - It is insane.
-对吧 -我想到了
- Yeah. - No, I get it.
我第一次落荒而逃时
I was bugged out at first
是莉莉叫我做她的伴娘那会儿
when Lily asked me to be her maid of honor.
但那是你姐姐
Yeah, but that's your sister.
你做她的伴娘很合理啊
It's perfectly normal for you to be her maid of honor.
-是这样没错 -只是
- Yeah. - It's just...
我感觉 他在努力地重新创建一个新家庭
I feel like he's trying to start over with this new family
因为他把我们原本的家搞砸了
'cause he fucked ours up.
但至少他很快乐
Well, at least he's happy.
没错 但也只是目前而已
Yeah. For now.
本 我父母也不喜欢对方
Ben, my parents don't like each other.
我妈 她就 一直在吼我爸
I mean, my mom, she's just -- she's always yelling at my dad.
我爸工作也不太想干了
And he's kind of checked out, you know?
他就先干着
He just takes it.
为了姐姐和我 他们也不想离婚
They didn't want my sister and I to have to go through a divorce,
所以他们就这样僵着
so they just stuck it out.
这样就是 对他们都不太好
And it's just -- It's made them so sad.
我一想到他们有时候在家里
I think about the two of them sometimes in that house,
吃饭都不说话 紧张兮兮的
just having dinner in silence, white-knuckling it.
我知道父母离异会让小孩很难过
I'm sure it broke your heart when your parents split up,
但至少他们不痛苦
but at least they're not miserable.
我敢保证你不会喜欢的
I can guarantee you would like that a lot less.
-嘿 -怎么了
- Hey. - Hmm?
过来
Come here.
到我这来
Come here.
-本 -怎么了
- Hey, Ben? - Yeah.
我现在感受到你勃起了
I'm totally reading your boner right now.
-该死的 不要 -放轻松
- God damn. No. - Relax.
人 人们都去哪了
Where -- Where'd everybody go?
我不 不知道
I don't -- I don't know.
-糟糕 -我们是不是应该
- Shit. -Should we --
-我们得出去了 -是的
- We should get out, right? - Yeah.
好的 走吧
Yeah. Let's go.
他妈的 太冷了
Fuck. It's cold.
他们都在外面吗
Are they out here?
没有 我们肯定错过班车了
No. We must have missed the shuttle.
靠
Oh, shit.
我们叫辆车吧
Let's call a car.
我手♥机♥没电了
My phone's dead.
我的也是
Mine too.
操
Oh, fuck.
我们酒店在哪
Where's our hotel?
大约 一万六千米开外吧
Uh, it's about 10,000 miles that way.
才一万六千吗
Only 10,000 miles?
再呆在这里 我们会死掉的
We're gonna die out here.
那只能走了 走吧
Let's just walk. Come on.
快走 臭小子 走就是了
Come on, grumps. Let's do it.
走起来
Forward ho!
你认真的吗
Are you serious?
你看我都走起来了像是开玩笑吗
I'm not saying I always do it.
太恶心了
That is so gross.
本 别说得好像
Ben, don't pretend like you don't let
你在洗澡的时候
a little dribble come out of that 'nanner
一滴尿都不会放出来
when you're in the shower.
我在洗澡的时候
I don't let a little dribble
一滴尿都不会放出来
come out the 'nanner when I'm showering --
如果你在洗澡的时候尿尿
If you pee in a shower,
那不就成在上厕所了吗
it, by definition, becomes a toilet.
看看这些花呀
Oh, look at these.
好漂亮
So pretty.
我一直都理解不了花的美
I never understood flowers.
我没听错吧 你居然欣赏不来
I'm sorry. You don't understand them?
它们对我没有任何意义
They just -- They don't make sense to me
只是爱的象征 而已
as, like, a symbol of love, you know?
怎么没意义呢
Why not?
因为从你一开始拿到它们
Because as soon as you get them,
它们就开始枯萎凋零
they're on this withering, downward spiral.
这和它们能绽放多长时间没有关系
It's not about how long they last.
重点是你收到一大捧花时的那种感觉
It's about how it feels to get a big fuckin' sack of tulips.
是啊 礼物到你手上都死不了
Yeah. Gifts shouldn't die on you.
-我说的是这个意思 -好吧 那个
- That's all I'm saying. - Okay. Wh--