结伴婚礼

但是 你看起来还像是在那里工作的
Well, it still looks like you work there.
-听起来更悲催了 是不是 -嗯
- That makes it sadder, you know? - Yeah.
好吧 我明白了
Okay. I see it.
要不然我们多待几天吧
Hey, what if we stayed for longer?
-真的吗 -对啊
- Really? - Yeah.
就 就一两天
You know, just, just a day or two.
认真的
Seriously?
是啊
Yeah.
好吧
Okay.
行 我可以答应你
Yeah. Yeah, I could get down with that.
-真的可以 -可以
- You could? - I could.
-你确定 -确定
- Yeah? - Yeah!
-真的假的 -真的
- Really? - Yes!
那我就去改订房♥的日期了
Well, then I'll change our reservation.
去吧 嘣嘿哈
Okay! Boom-shakalaka!
不 不行
No. No
我们不能用"嘣嘿哈"了
We put boom-shakalaka away,
-记得吗 -不 你说的是特殊场合才能用
- Remember? - No, you said only on special occasions,
现在就尼玛非常特殊
and this is pretty fucking special.
我 我不这么认为
I-I don't know if it qualifies.
嘣嘿哈 宝贝
Boom-shakalaka, baby!
你们要不要拍一张
Do you guys need a picture?
-就你们俩 你们有合影吗 -不
- The two of you. Do you have one yet? - No.
我 我们有一些 照片
We have -- We have a few. We have pictures.
里面可没有这样的景色
You don't have them with this.
没错 你们没有这样的背景
Yeah. You don't have that background.
把你的手♥机♥给我 别弄得这么尴尬
Give me your phones. Don't be weird about it.
-好 照吧 -你往上来 好的
- All right. Fine. -You go up -- There.
二，一
Two and...
♪ 只是当我向你倾诉所思所想 ♪
♪ But when I tell you how I feel ♪
♪ 相信我 一切都是如此真实 ♪
♪ Believe me when I say it's real ♪
♪ 哦 哦 哦 哦 哦 哦 哦 哦 哦 ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ 如此真实 ♪
♪ It's real ♪
♪ 我将我们的名字刻在树梢 ♪
♪ I carved our names into a tree ♪
♪ 我在腐烂衰败的落叶上徜徉 ♪
♪ I walked on decomposing leaves ♪
♪ 我在冰冻的海面滑行 ♪
♪ I skated on a frozen sea ♪
♪ 一切都如我所见的如此真实 ♪
♪ It's real as far as I can see ♪
♪ 哦 哦 哦 哦 哦 哦 哦 哦 哦 ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ 如此真实 ♪
♪ It's real ♪
不可以 你不能这样 看你敢尿出来
No, don't you do it. Don't you dare pee.
-我已经开始了 -不要 别尿
- I'm doing it. - No. No. Don't pee.
还是热的
It's warm.
不 你不能逃跑 你必须要面对
No. You can't leave. You have to face this!
我才不要
No, I don't.
如此真实
♪ It's real ♪
真的太爽了
It feels so good!
所以说 莉莉一直都是姐妹中更好的那个
So, Lily was always the better sister.
七月13日-16日
莉莉与乔丹的婚礼
她什么事都做得很完美
I mean, she did everything perfectly.
平均分拿到了4.0
She got a 4.0 GPA.
担任过足球队的队长
She was the captain of the soccer team.
并且以荣誉学位从哈佛毕业
She graduated with honors from Harvard.
然后呢 她却决定嫁给了乔丹
And then...she decided to marry Jordan.
谢了 老爸
Thanks, Dad.
但是 没有啦
But yeah. No.
我 我非常高兴他们走到了一起
I'm -- I'm very happy that the two of them are together,
如果让我给乔丹一两句忠告的话
and if I can just give one word or two words of advice, to Jordan
那就是 前方有猛虎 系好安全带
it would be buckle up.
是的 就这样
Yeah. And -- Yeah.
谢了 大伙 致辞结束
Thanks, guy-- That's the end of the speech.
终于 也是时候了
Well, it's about damn time.
-我必须说出来 -好啦 老妈 放轻松
- That's what I say. - Okay. Relax, Mom.
你们俩认识有多久了 十年
You guys have known each other what, 10 years?
但我们又不是整天都待在一起
But it's not like we were hanging out the entire time.
可是莉莉和乔丹才认识了两年
But Lily and Jordan just met two years ago,
明天他们就要结婚了
and they're getting married tomorrow.
妈 别把我扯进来
Mom, leave me out of it.
当然了 本 我非常理解你
Well, come on. Ben, I get it.
当她和奈特在一起的时候你估计心都碎了
You were probably heartbroken when she was with Nate.
妈 天呐
Mom, God!
-你肯定很嫉恨奈特吧 -我和他不太熟
- I bet you hated Nate. - I didn't really know him.
亲爱的 土豆还要等多长时间
Hey, hon, how much longer before the potatoes are ready?
已经好了 怎么了
They're done. Why?
我只是在计算多长时间后
I'm just trying to gauge how much longer
开始烤地中海鲈鱼
before I put the branzino on the grill.
十五分钟前
Fifteen minutes ago!
-抱歉 我能搞定的 -从来都不省心
- Whoops. Sorry. I got it. - It never gets any easier.
所以到底是什么问题
So what's the problem?
你害怕强势的女人吗
Are you afraid of strong women?
什么 不 才不是 我喜欢强势的
What? No. No. N-No. I-I love strong women.
好啊 那你怎么等了这么久
Okay. So what took you so long?
-我 -你不用回答
-Well, I - You don't have to answer that.
-我可以回答的 -不用
- I can answer that. - No.
你得停止这样的审问了
You have to stop asking so many questions --
因为你问的问题太多了
Because you're asking so many questions!
-快停止 -让他来回答嘛
- Stop! - Let him answer it!
所以呢
So?
我们当年只是朋友
We were just friends.
朋友 朋友树上一长一大♥片♥
Friends? Friends grow on trees.
可是什么才是最难找到的 老婆
But let me tell you what doesn't grow on trees. Wives.
现在 这里有块好料
Now, this fine piece right here --
妈 你别这么说我
Mom, don't call me a fine piece.
-怎么了 -听起来很诡异
- What? - That's weird.
你是我女儿
You're my daughter.
我就觉得你是上等好货
It's okay if I think you're a fine slice.
听着 他很明显同意我说的
Look. He obviously agrees.
否则他也不会向你投怀送炮
Or he wouldn't be throwing it into you.
-好了啊 过分了 -不是吗
- Okay! That's enough. - Right?
本 去看看我爸烤肉需不需要帮忙
Ben, go see if my dad needs help with the grill.
-好嘞 -很好
- Yep. - Great.
奇怪 你们母女可真是一点也不像
It's crazy. You two have nothing in common.
滚
Fuck off.
-嘿 莫里先生 -嘿 还好吗
- Hey, Mr. Mori. - Hey. How's it going?
还不错 你需要帮忙吗
Doing good. You need any help?
不用了
No.
我都不知道你加入过乐团
I didn't know you were in band.
可不 单簧管
Hell yeah. Clarinet.
我可是三席呢 宝贝
Third chair, baby.
这个叫乔纳森·维斯的小孩喜欢过你
Hey, this Jonathan Weiss kid had a crush on you.
你是怎么知道的
How do you know that?
你自己写的啊 "他暗恋我"
'Cause you wrote, "He has a crush on me."
老天爷
Jesus.
你准备好接受终极火♥辣♥的性感了吗
Hey. You ready for ultimate hotness?
什么
What?
超级 超级性感
Sexy, sexy.
就是这种
Yes.
全方位体验初一的爱丽丝
This is the full seventh-grade Alice experience.
没错 小鲜肉
Yes, it is, young man.
老天呐
Oh, my God.
这可是我的第一次
I've never done this before.
你得
You got to...
-什么 -你得把它拿出来
- What? - You got to take it out.
-是不是太过了 -亲上去很奇怪
- Is it too much? - I can feel it.
奈特给你发短♥信♥了
Hey, Nate texted you.
-就刚刚吗 -是的
- Like, just now? - Yeah.
你要不 你要不要看一眼
Do you want to -- Do you want to check it or...
不用了
No. I'm good.
你确定
Really?
嗯
Yeah.
-去看看吧 -你想让我去看他的短♥信♥
- Check it. - You want me to check it?