结伴婚礼

我也是 菲利普斯先生
"Me too, Mr. Phillips.
和你一起诈骗很激动
I'm very excited to commit fraud with you!"
-来来来 -对对对对
- Here we go. - Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
你们好啊 我们是变音符
"Hi. We are Umlaut.
我们是轰动瑞典的新晋男孩乐队
We are the new Swedish boy-band sensation."
是的 我们的新单曲"我继父的房♥子"
"Yes, our new hit single, 'My Stepdad's House,'
正在攀登热歌♥榜
is climbing the charts."
-这在搞什么啊 -在搞什么
- What is this? - What is this?
-你们来吧 -什么鬼
- Okay, guys. - What...
走起
Here we go.
什么
What?
我完全猜不出来他们在干嘛
I have no idea what's going on.
我们有什么乐子
All right. What have we got?
我看见了美人 到处都是美人
I see cuties, cuties everywhere.
来看看吧
Yeah. Let's see.
穿靴子的那个红礼服女士
Red dress with the boots.
不不不 她看起来很刻薄
Mm, no. No, she looks mean.
什么 她只是看起来很严肃 不是刻薄
What? She just looks serious. That doesn't mean mean.
它就是刻薄 再来
It means mean. Um, let's see.
那 穿绿裙子戴眼镜的那个怎么样
Okay. What about, um, green with the glasses?
-在哪 转一下 -好
- Where? Rotate. - Okay.
就她
Her?
天哪 你喜欢这么年轻新鲜的吗
Geez. God, you like them fresh and young.
什么 她明明是个成熟的女性
What -- She's normal age.
本 我听到了警笛大作声
Ben, I can hear the sirens coming for you.
去你的
Fuck off.
好吧 接着看看 下一个
Okay. All right. Let's see.
有了 那个编辫子的伴娘
okay. Bridesmaid with the braid.
你得松松手了
You're gonna have to spin me out.
准备好了吗 一 二 三
Okay. Ready? One, two, three.
-对 好 她可以 -好极了
- Yeah. Yeah, she'll do. - Cool.
等这首歌♥放完了我就洒杯喝的到她裙子上
I'm gonna spill a drink on her when the song ends,
你就准备好你的餐巾纸和开场白
and you're gonna go up to her
施施然向她走去
with some napkins and a good opening line.
你能不能不要搞这种突击
Can you maybe not assault this one?
这不是袭击 我只是
It's not assault. I just --
我对人际交往间的破冰行动很有一套
I have a very physical style of breaking the ice.
那就是袭击的众多定义之一
That's one of the definitions of assault.
不管怎么样 这是有效的 不是吗
Whatever. It's been working, has it not?
没错 的确有效果
Yeah. Yeah, it has.
-的确有那么一点用 -谢谢
- Somehow it has. - Thank you.
这对可真热烈
Oh, this is hot.
你们真应该直接就地开滚
Oh, you guys better stop, drop, and roll.
太烫了[热烈] 太烫手了
Too hot. Too hot.
请停下来
Please stop.
今年对我来说有点难熬
Uh, this has been kind of a tough year for me.
6月15到17日
凯尔&芭芭拉的婚礼
你们都知道的 但今天不是我的主场
Um, you guys know that. But, um, this is not about me.
今天的主角是小芭和凯尔
Today's about Barb and Kyle.
我为你们感到骄傲 我爱你们
I'm so proud of you guys. I love you.
♪ 当我孤身一人时 ♪
♪ When I'm alone ♪
♪ 我难以呼吸 ♪
♪ I find it hard to breathe ♪
♪ 我的心也随她离去 ♪
♪ She walked out and she took half of me ♪
婚礼真盛大 不是吗
What a ceremony, huh?
我太喜欢他们的誓词了
Loved the vows.
我哭了 痛哭流涕
Cried. Cried like a baby.
你们有哭吗
Anybody else cry?
对 我也哭了
Yeah. I cried.
但我每天都哭 所以这说明不了什么
but I cry every day, so it doesn't mean anything.
哭泣是一个放松精神的好办法
Crying can be very therapeutic.
对我来说不是的
Not the way I do it.
你们两个是在大学里认识的吗
So you two met in college?
-是的 -没错
- Yeah. - Yeah.
本 他通过我
Ben, you know, he basically used me
来接近我的室友好约她们出去
to get close to my roommate so they could date.
这不是真的
This is not true.
-有一部分是真的 -有点儿意思
- It's a little true. - Uh-oh. Intrigue.
-继续说啊 说啊 -开玩笑的
- Go on. Go. - I'm just kidding.
好了好了 不讲了
It's fine. It's fine. No.
他们只交往了几个月
They only dated for a couple of months.
但是我们两个的友谊是终生的
But our friendship, that lasts a lifetime.
-她应该来参加我们的婚礼 -当然
- She should come to the wedding. - Of course.
爱丽丝 你应该来参加我们的婚礼
Alice, you should come to our wedding.
我不知道你们 是什么时候
Oh. Uh, I didn't know you guys... When is it?
十月二十一号♥
October 21st.
-在星期天 -太好啦
- It's on a Sunday. - Cool.
我们邀请你了噢 年轻的小姐
You're getting an invite, young lady,
就这么说定了
and that's the end of it.
好的 太好了
Okay. Great.
我要去拿杯喝的
Um, you know what? I'm gonna grab a drink.
-你们还需要什么吗 -不用了
- Do you guys want anything? - Mnh-mnh.
来点烈酒怎么样 都来点儿呗
Shots? Shots? Shots all around?
为吉娜干一杯
Shots for Gina?
-不了 -我喝红酒就好
- No. - I'm fine with my wine.
-好吧 -谢谢啦
- Okay. - Thanks!
她真讨人喜欢
She's adorable.
本 我看好这支潜力股
Ben, I see a lot of potential there.
不 不是 不是你们想的那样
No. It's not -- It's not like that.
我们只是 只是朋友而已
We're just -- We're just friends.
本
Ben.
你这是要坐过来吗 真棒棒
Oh, you're coming over. Awesome.
我很抱歉我们上个月开始时闹矛盾了
Sorry we got off on such a bad foot last month.
是的 但 现在能不能不聊这个话题
Yeah. Um... can we not talk about this here?
可你都不回我信息了
Well, you won't return my texts.
你那是在凌晨5点给我发信息啊
You only text me at the 5:00 in the morning.
-我就是这么早睡早起嘛 -好的吧
- I'm an early riser. - Okay.
本 我想让你做我的伴郎
Ben...I want you to be my best man.
-爸 -不要拒绝我
- Dad. - No.
小子 除了你我没有考虑过其他人
Buddy, there's nobody else I would want to do this.
-哈农怎么样 -他怎么了
- What about Hanon? - What about him?
让他做你的伴郎
Make your best friend your best man.
哈农吗 开什么玩笑
Hanon? That's ridiculous.
他曾经做过乔的伴郎 他整个演讲
He was Joe's best man, and his entire speech was about
通篇都是关于婚礼上芝士不够的问题
how there wasn't enough cheese at the wedding.
本 你是我儿子
Ben...you're my son.
那 我考虑一下
Uh, I'll -- I'll think about it.
您需要什么
What can I get you?
我要一杯龙舌兰 不加冰
Can I get a tequila straight up?
像油罐子一样把它灌满
Fill it up like a gas tank.
-头一次碰见这样的要求 -是啊
- That's a first. - Yeah.
天哪 是爱丽丝
Oh, my God. Alice.
-我的天 嗨 珍娜 -嗨
- Oh, my God. Hi, Jenna! - Hi!
最近怎么样
Hey. How are you?
-挺好的 你呢 -我很好
- Good. How are you? - So good.
想不到你也在这
I had no idea that you were gonna be here.
是啊 我也没想到你也在这
Yeah. I didn't know you were gonna be here.
对啊 这是爱丽丝 奈特·拉姆的女朋友
Yeah. This is Alice. This is Nate Lam's girlfriend.
-那个 -真的吗 我很喜欢奈特
- Oh. - Oh, my God. I love Nate.
我们在美林证券一起做过实习生
We, uh, we interned at Merrill together.
那傻小子最近怎么样
How is that stupid bastard?
他还可 我也不知道
Um, he's g-- You know, I don't know.
我们 分手了
We -- We broke up.
-不会吧 -就是的
- No. - Yeah.
妈的
Shit.
-怎么会 -就是这样的
- No. - Yeah.
你一定是在开玩笑
Are you kidding?
没有
No.
发生了什么 我很看好你们的
What happened? I loved you guys together.
你们就像阴和阳一样互补
You guys were like yin and yang.
-我真的很喜欢他们这对 -是的
- I loved them together. - Yeah.