疯狂思想

I know you got arrested for murder or something like that.
你出来了吗
Are you out yet?
吉娜·威廉姆斯
星探
你要是还没出来
Because if you're not,
就没我什么事儿了
whatever you are doing is not as important as this right now.
而且就算警♥察♥要抓你
And even if you are still under arrest,
你也得逃跑
you need to escape.
什么霍桑的屌♥制片公♥司♥的伊娃·坎贝尔
Eva Campbell from Haw fucking thorn productions,
-想要你加入 -霍桑吗
- she wants you to come in. - Hawthorn?
他们上个月刚刚拒绝了我申请的一个角色
They just turned me down for a role last month.
奥利弗·拉德伯恩请了病假
Oliver Radburn just called in sick,
拍摄第一天就掉链子
first day of the shoot.
他还好吗
Is he alright?
谁他妈知道
Oh, who the hell knows?
制片人今天上午从电视看到你被捕的镜头
The producer saw you getting arrested on TV this morning.
认为你非常适合这个角色
Thinks you fit in the role perfectly,
但是你现在就得过去
but you gotta make it in there right now.
伊娃说他们中止了整个制♥作♥为了等你
Eva says they are holding the entire production.
他们闲坐在那 每小时浪费上千美元
They are sitting around wasting thousands of dollars an hour.
这就是电影业
This is the film business.
不能这么浪费钱
You don't waste that kind of money--
又他妈不是黄金九十年代
Ain't the fucking '90s.
他们走投无路了
They're desperate!
不是有很多台词吗
Is there many lines?
伊娃要疯了
Eva is going crazy.
她说这是个前无古人的角色
She says this part is a game-changer,
能改变整个行业
a career-changer.
让整部电影一飞冲天
Could steal the entire movie.
这可是专业的戏剧啊
You're looking at a guaranteed theatrical.
你会被立即捧上你梦寐以求的位子
This is gonna slam you right where you wanna be.
机会可不总是这么随随便便就得来的
Opportunities don't drop in your lap like this.
这就是塞翁失马啊 臭小子
It's a perfect storm, you son of a bitch,
可别搞砸了
so don't fuck this up.
赶紧滚过去
Get your ass over there
路上别再杀人了
and try not to kill anybody on the way.
天啊 吉娜
Jesus, Geena!
怎么 拿这个开玩笑太早了吗
What? Too soon?
你真是开不起玩笑
Oh God, you can't take a joke.
好了 总之快去吧
Alright, well, just get your ass down there,
知道了吗 杰森
Alright, Jason?
杰森
Jason?
拜托啊 杰森
Oh, come on, Jason.
-你要见我吗 -人呢
- You wanna see me? - Are you there?
杰森
Jason!
是的 我 那个
Yeah, I, uh--
杰
Jay!
-我 那个 -从天而降的机会
- I, uh... - Drop in your lap.
改变行业
Career-changer.
伊娃·坎贝尔
Eva Campbell.
机会
Opportunities.
整部电影一飞冲天
Steal the entire movie.
别搞砸了
Don't fuck this up.
我想确定一下我们俩之间
Yeah, I wanted to make sure there is no bad blood
没什么矛盾吧 我只是想说
between the two of us and I was just gonna say
如果之后你需要我的任何帮助
if I can be of any further assistance,
一定要打电♥话♥给我
just please give me a call.
希望你找到真正的凶手
And I hope you find the real killer.
谢谢
Thanks.
梅维斯先生
Mr. Mewes!
杰先生
Mr. Jay!
汽 车 旅 店
大卫 你好啊
Hello, David.
做过针灸吗
Have you ever tried acupuncture?
要知道 扎在这里可是超棒的
You see what's really amazing is if you stab right here--
你的脚也会同时感受到疼痛
You feel the pain simultaneously in your feet.
停 停
Cut! Cut!
老天爷啊 停
For God's sake, cut.
开灯
Put the light on.
开灯 谢谢
Okay, lights up, please.
杰森
Jason,
亲爱的 你的表演真是引人入胜
darling, that was absolutely spellbinding.
谢谢
Thank you.
你还在体验中吗
Uh, oh, are you doing your method there?
抱歉
Sorry.
那你休息一会
Uh, I'll give you a moment.
哈罗德 亲爱的 你的疼痛很有说服力
Harold, darling, I believed your pain,
但是你忘了最后的动作了 亲爱的
but you forgot your cue at the end, darling.
你要晕倒 记得吗
Um, passing out, remember?
我他妈的疼痛很有说服力
Oh, you believed my fucking pain,
是因为我他妈真的很痛
'cause I'm in fucking agony.
我跟你说了 那刀太锋利了
I told you that blade is too sharp.
让我看一下刀好吗
May I see the blade, please?
那个混♥蛋♥梅维斯的角色
That bastard Mewes' role.
他 他真的很享受
Uh, he's-- he's enjoying this.
我能从他的眼神中看出来
I could see it in his eyes.
老天爷啊 哈罗德
Oh, for God's sakes, Harold.
爷们一点 这刀一点都不锋利
Man up, the blade's not that bloody sharp.
各位收工吃饭了
Lunch, everybody.
各位收工吃饭了
Lunch, everybody!
吃中饭了
That's lunch.
我他妈在皇家戏剧学院花了三年
Right, I spent three fucking years at RADA...
妈的一点水花没有 而这傻♥逼♥海绵宝宝
Fucking silent, fucking Sponge Bob thinks
著名演员 以演黑帮角色或反派最为出名
还以为他自己是他妈的罗伯特·德尼罗呢
he's fucking Robert De Niro.
杰森·梅维斯先生
Mr. Jason Mewes!
先生 能跟你说两句吗
A word please, sir.
年轻人 你的表演令人印象深刻
That was a very impressive performance young man,
印象深刻
very impressive.
谢谢 先生
Thank you, sir.
我能从你的眼神中看出
I can see that look in your eyes.
那种青涩 那种惊人的潜力
It's green, it's fucking dynamite.
先生 您再也不是什么小小子了
No more Snoogans for you, no, sir.
你很适合这个方法派的表演
This whole method thing suits you very well.
你的阴暗感体现得淋漓尽致
It brings out all of your darkness.
没错
Oh yes.
么么哒
Snoochie boochies.
么么哒
Snoochie boochies.
我就是揉蒂之王
I am the clit commander.
杰森·梅维斯回归了
Jason Mewes is back.
在他被捕之后
Straight after getting arrested,
梅维斯马上接演了《《针灸杀手》》
Mewes landed a role on Acupuncture Killer
而且制片人
and the producers are--
我现在根本不该在这里
I'm not even supposed to be here right now.
整个好莱坞谣言疯传
Rumors are flying all over Hollywood
都在猜测布莱恩·奥哈洛伦会找谁
about who Brian O'Halloran is going to cast
参演他的电影《《奥德赛》》
in his movie The Odyssey,
那电影很快就要开拍了
which is due to start filming very soon.
混♥蛋♥奥哈洛伦
O'Halloran, fucker.
我是布莱恩·奥哈洛伦
This is Brian O'Halloran.
显然 我现在根本不该在这里
Clearly, I'm not supposed to be here right now.
所以请在滴声之后给我留言
So leave me a message after the beep.
一杯斯坦茶
Stan tea, please.
你好 你能不能待会给我打回来
Hey, can you please uh, maybe give me a call back
或者接电♥话♥
or answer your phone?
谢了老哥
Thanks, brother.
嘿 盗版狗
有人抬价了
要么你也抬要么别要69期了
操♥他♥妈♥的
Fucker, man!
我他妈一找到你就会揍扁你
He's-- track you down and kick that ass.
他妈的 他妈的
Oh shit. Oh shit.
杰 是我
Jay, it's me.
是我啊 杰森
It's me, Jason.