疯狂思想

不是吧 该死
Come on, motherfucker.
对不起了小婊砸
你对69号♥竞标失败
我们都谈好价了 你必须再给我一次机会竞拍那个漫画
哦你好 亲爱的
Oh, hey, baby.
你去哪了
Where you been?
和闺蜜出去了一下
Just out with some girlfriends.
那是啥
What's that?
是文尼的
It's Vinnie's.
你把文尼的炸♥弹♥带进屋了
You brought Vinnie's bomb into the house?
不 这不是炸♥弹♥ 是胖男孩
No, no, it's not a bomb, it's a fat boy.
好吧 我会把炸♥弹♥拿到
Alright, I'll get the bomb--
屋子外面去
Out of the house.
我早些时候想给你打电♥话♥来着
I tried to call you earlier.
你今天修屋顶了吗
Did you fix the roof today?
你知道这意味着什么吧
You do know what this means, don't you?
杰是个坏杰
Jay's been a bad Jay.
杰变坏会发生什么呢
And what happens when Jay's been a very bad Jay?
我乃阴蒂指挥官
I am the clit commander.
来指挥我吧
Command my clit, commander.
么么哒
Snoochie boochie!
指挥我吧
Oh, command my clit, commander.
第一步
绝对不要看得太快
讲真的
第六步
忘掉你所知道的一切
第三十七步
认真感受
不要害怕激烈行为
认真感受那愤怒
感受愤怒
Feel the anger.
认真感受
Feel it for real.
我♥操♥
Fuck!
操♥死♥你
Fuck you.
咋地
What?
想咋地
What mother...
么么哒
Snoochie boochies.
么么哒
Snoochie boochies.
么么哒 一团糟
Snoochie boochies. So much shit.
欢迎来到影星点评网
Welcome to moviestarrating.Com.
输入你最喜爱的电影明星
Type in your favourite film star
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and thus their current importance
的火热程度
to the movie business.
对不起
I'm sorry.
没有这位演员的相关消息
There's no current news about this actor.
也许你拼错了
Perhaps you spelled it incorrectly.
什么鬼
What the hell?
万人渴求的选角导演
Anthony Costalino
去你的
Fuck you.
是时候采取极端措施了
Time for drastic action.
我让他们看看什么叫疯狂
I'll show 'em crazy.
好莱坞要极端的是吧
Hollywood wants something drastic.
真的吓死他们
Scare 'em for real.
没错
That's right.
来点方法演技
Give me that method.
方法派雄起
Method!
搞啥呢
What the fuck?
-怎么了 杰森 -嘿混♥蛋♥
-Yes, Jason? - Hey, motherfucker--
我勒个去
Whoa! Fuck.
你觉得我配不上你的破电影吗
You don't think I'm good enough for your piece-of-shit movie,
啥 我可没这么说 该死
huh? - I didn't fucking say-- shit.
你觉得你很了解我吗 贱♥人♥
You think you know me, bitch?
你才不懂我
You don't know me.
杰 淡定
Jay, Jay, whoa!
看招 婊♥子♥
Whoa! Pow, bitch!
都是误会
It was just a misunderstanding!
你个天杀的混♥蛋♥
Oh, you motherfucker!
你♥他♥妈♥在哪呢
Where the fuck are you?
在哪呢
Where the fuck?
擦 钥匙不在
Shit, the keys.
操 他哪去了
Fuck, where is he?
该死的 杰森 别犯傻了
Shit, Jason, don't be stupid.
操蛋
Oh, motherfucker!
你个操蛋
You, motherfucker!
该死的 冷静
Oh shit! Be calm.
先放一旁 然后吸气
Get this out of the way and breathe.
危险 倒车
Hazards. Reverse.
可以了
I got this.
好了 好了
Okay, okay.
好了
Okay.
好吧
Oof, okay.
还好吗 兄弟
You cool, bro?
我觉得我要把你连车给碾着走了
I think I might've nicked you with the car there.
安东尼 兄弟
Anthony? Bro?
好吧
Okay.
好吧 杰森·梅维斯 你可以的
Okay, Jason Mewes, you got this, man.
好了 用这个
Okay, method this.
你可以的
You got this.
加油
Come on.
不好意思啊
Oops, sorry about that.
抱歉
Sorry.
该死
Oh shit!
一点都不酷 兄弟
Not cool, bro.
天呐 他没看到我
He didn't see me, man.
我练瑜伽的呢
I do yoga.
操 他可能看到我了
Fuck, he might've saw me.
操♥他♥妈♥的 操
What the fuck! Fuck!
他妈的他不可能会看到我的 该死
He might've fucking saw me, shit.
他没看到我的
Nah, he didn't see me.
他看不到我啊
He couldn't have seen me.
那会我这样子的
I was like this.
这样啊
Like this.
他可能又看到我了
He might have saw me.
他没看到我的 我太他妈聪明了
Nah, he didn't see me, I'm too fucking good.
该死的
Shit.
杰 你♥他♥妈♥的在干什么
Jay, what the fucking hell are you doing?
我来还你车啊
Uh-- I was just returning your car.
我是说 我
I mean I--
你就不能等到明天早上再还吗
Why couldn't you wait till the morning?
我想你应该想早点拿回车 对吧
I just thought you needed the car back early, right?
-所以 -才不呢 我不急着要
- So... - No, I don't need it early.
不好意思的 兄弟 我只是
I'm sorry, bro, I just--
我只是想确定你拿到车了
I just wanted to make sure you had it--
要载你一程吗
Do you want a lift?
不 不用了 我想走走
No, no, I'm gonna walk, the la--
如果你想的话就在这住一晚吧
Stay here if you want.
算了 老婆还盼着我回家呢
No, it's like my old lady wants me home,
回去抱抱啊什么的
like do the like cuddling and stuff.
再说了 她还要我吃减肥药
Plus, she has me on this diet thing,
她觉得我太胖了 所以要走走
she thinks I'm getting fat, so I'll walk.
没事的 谢谢
Oh! It's fine. Thank you.
臭笨蛋
Fucking muppet.
威林霍利酒店
酒品专卖♥♥店
操
Fuck that.
♪ 嘘 ♪
♪ Shh ♪
♪ 噢 如此安静 ♪
♪ It's oh so quiet ♪
♪ 嘘 嘘 ♪
♪ Shh, shh ♪
♪ 噢 如此寂静 ♪
♪ It's oh so still ♪
贱♥人♥
Pow, bitch!
♪ 嘘 嘘 ♪
♪ Shh, shh ♪
♪ 你孤身一人 ♪
♪ You're all alone ♪
♪ 嘘 嘘 ♪
♪ Shh, shh ♪
♪ 直至你坠入情网 才打破平静 ♪
♪ And so peaceful until you fall in love ♪
♪ 噼里啪啦 ♪
♪ Zing boom ♪