吸血鬼生活

What We Do in the Shadows S01E01

Part 3 April 19, 2020, 9:18 a.m.

I find people who are easy...
杀的人
to... kill.
这是十四世纪的战斧吗
Is that a 14th-century battle-ax?
真让人激动
Oh, it's so exciting.
我们可以触摸这些剑吗
Uh, will we be able to touch the swords?
你们会触摸到"剑"的
Oh, you'll touch the swords.
我们大约两百年前
We moved here from Europe
从欧洲搬到这里因为当时人们
about 200 years ago because there was
对吸血鬼有很大的偏见
a lot of prejudice against vampires at that time.
他们不喜欢我们的肤色
They don't like the color of our skin.
也不喜欢我们杀人又吃人
Or the fact that we killed and ate people.
也许更讨厌那一点
Probably more that.
我们要小心谨慎保持低调
We're being very careful not to stand out,
所以我们俩都穿着随意
which is why we're both dressed down.
-晚上好 -滚回你自己的国家去
- Uh, good evening. - Go back to your own country.
你♥他♥妈♥说什么
What the fuck did you just say?
你听得很清楚 "过去之婊"
You heard me, Ghost of Christmas Past, bitch.
原译"过去之灵" 出自查尔斯·狄更斯的《圣诞颂歌♥》
闭嘴吧麦克
Oh, Mike, shut up.
你才闭嘴我们自1861年起就住在这里
Silence to you. We've been here since 1861.
至少说我们的家族是这样
At least, our families have.
走开
Begone.
我们该直接吸他们的血我快饿死了
We should just suck their blood, I'm absolutely starving.
-他们是完美的猎物 -不我很愤怒
- They're perfect. - No, I'm furious.
他侮辱了我我现在怒火中烧
He just insulted me, I'm in fifth gear.
-我们该杀了他们 -我就是这意思
- We should kill them. - Yes, that's what I'm saying.
-我们该吸他们的血 -没错
- We should suck their blood. - Yes.
-现在吗 -等等亲爱的
- Now? - Wait. Wait, darling.
-现在吗 -现在
- Now? - Now!
什么
What?
麦克
Mike?
你♥他♥妈♥在哪儿呢
Where the fuck are you?
搞什么
What the fuck?
好吃他还真美味
Yum, yum, yum. He was delicious.
听着我不知道你现在怎么想
Now, listen, I don't know about you,
但我很想跟你发♥生♥关♥系♥
but I'm very much in the mood for some sexual intercourse.
亲爱的要在公厕旁吗
Darling. Right next to the public toilet?
是要不我回家一趟
Yes. But why don't I get home,
梳洗一下然后我们再继续嘿♥咻♥
get cleaned up, then we can carry on with our love-making.
我要走回家
Um, I'm going to walk home.
你为什么要这样做
Why the hell would you do that?
你明明可以变成蝙蝠
Why would you walk home
为什么要走回家
when you could turn into a bat.
蝙蝠
Bat!
我想要一些
I would like some of that, uh,
会发光的彩色粉尘
colorful dust that sparkles.
-闪粉 -是的
- Glitter? - Yes.
给我一些闪粉
Get me some glitter.
用来做什么主人
Whatever for, Master?
我想为永生始祖的光临
Oh, I want to do something special
做点特别的事
for the Immortal One's arrival.
我要把它撒在我的脸上和身上
I'm going to sprinkle it on my face and on my body.
像《暮光之城》一样
Like Twilight.
怡人地恐怖
So deliciously macabre.
-毛骨悚然纸 -是绉纸
- Creepy paper. - It's crepe paper.
-毛骨悚然纸 -是绉纸主人
- Creepy paper. - It's crepe paper, Master.
毛骨悚然...合装包
Creepy... Oh, multipack.
主人这个挺"吓人的"
Master, this is pretty "Macabre."
吉尔莫是我的亲信
Guillermo is my familiar,
但有时他太亲近了你懂吗
but sometimes he's a little too familiar, you know what I mean?
我的意思是他永远都在
I mean, he's always just there.
我觉得好了主人
I think it's good, Master.
他工作很努力
I mean, he works really hard,
他只是不擅长而已
he's just not great at it.
吉尔莫我的斗篷卡住了
Guillermo, my cape is stuck.
当然我不喜欢在他面前说这种话
I don't like saying this kind of thing in front of him, of course.
对不起吉尔莫
Sorry, Guillermo.
我不喜欢在你面前说这种话
I don't like saying this kind of thing in front of you.
没关系主人
That's okay, Master.
好多闪粉
Lot of glitter.
-刷♥卡♥还是付现 -信♥用♥卡♥
- Cash or card? - Credit.
你不能用那个付钱
You cannot pay with that.
我很抱歉
I'm so sorry.
-你刚才是向我扔了一个硬币吗 -对
- Did you just throw a coin at me? - Yes.
先生你不能向我扔古钱币
Sir, you can't be throwing ancient coins at me.
-用信♥用♥卡♥ -吉尔莫刺他
- Just... Credit card's fine. - Guillermo, stab this man.
-他在开玩笑 -刺他
- He's joking. - Stab him.
谢谢
Thank you.
-我试了 -给你兄弟
- I tried, and... - Here you go, man.
-非常感谢 -你刚才没有服从我的命令
- Thank you so much. - You kind of disobeyed me just now
我记下了
and I'm noting it.
最近我一直在见另一个男人
Recently I have been seeing another man.
不过他没有看见我因为我偷偷跟着他
He doesn't see me, though, because I sneak behind him.
我在夜里监视他
I watch him in the night,
偷偷地
in secret.
在故乡几个世纪前
In the old country, centuries ago,
我和一个叫格雷戈尔的人类
I was in a very passionate love affair
曾经有过一段非常热烈的爱情
with a human man called Gregor.
他是个骑士
He was a knight.
他在战斗中被斩首
He got decapitated in battle.
我想我一直没有忘掉格雷戈尔
I don't think I ever really got over Gregor.
即使在我遇见拉兹洛后
Even when I met Laszlo.
琼我的靴子丢了
June, I've lost my boot.
琼
June?
过来琼
Come on, June.
我昨晚看到的那个男人
The man I saw last night,
我觉得是他
I think it is him.
《朱迪思砍下霍洛芬斯的头颅》--卡拉瓦乔
我觉得是我转世的前男友格雷戈尔
I think it is my reincarnated ex-boyfriend Gregor,
头还连着身子
with his head.
把这穿上琼
Put it on, June.
-闭嘴拉兹洛 -好的这就对了
- Shut up, Laszlo! - Yes, there we are.
穿好靴子啦
Boot on.
好的就在下面的某个地方
Okay, it's just down here somewhere.
为什么我以前从没来过房♥子的这部分
Why haven't I been to this part of the house before?
真是太可爱了
It's so lovely.
-80年来都没有人来过 -漂亮极了
- No one has for 80 years. - Gorgeous.
我们在这下面干什么
What are we doing down here?
这有个小房♥间好吗
There is a chamber, okay?
将是血腥盛宴的完美之地
It's going to be perfect for the bloodfeast.
如果我们在这里举♥行♥仪式
If we have the ceremony in here,
然后你知道的那人甚至不会知道
then you-know-who won't even need to know.
我是说柯林
I mean Colin.
柯林你在这儿干什么
Colin, what are you doing in here?
这是我的卧室我在休息
This is my bedroom. I'm resting.
你个白♥痴♥
You idiot.
我不知道他会在里面
I didn't know he was gonna be in there.
你怎么不检查一下
Why didn't you check?
没关系我们可以在阁楼里举♥行♥仪式
It's fine, we're gonna have the ceremony in the attic.
不行登山机在那儿
We can't, the StairMaster's in there.
我们把登山机弄走就是
Well, we're going to move the StairMaster.
确定是这艘船吗
Is it definitely this boat?
他在那儿
There he is.
我就知道他会带个大箱子
I knew he'd have a big box.
琼你得去接他
June, you need to go and fetch him.
先生我只需要有个人签下字
Sir, I just need someone to sign for it.
-笔在哪里 -这个平板就是纸
- Where's the pen? - So, the tablet is the paper.
你的手指就是笔
Your finger is the pen.
好吧真奇怪
Okay, that's weird.
好吧什么反应都没
Okay, that's nothing.
你们俩出于某种原因没法显示出来
Both of you, for some reason, aren't registering here.
你俩有长指甲还是什么