吸血鬼生活

What We Do in the Shadows S01E05

Part 3 April 19, 2020, 9:19 a.m.

Are you guys sure it was him?
我他妈的在哪儿
Where the fuck am I?
我说
I say!
放开我
Release me.
刚才的情况是南多带走了一只
So, what just happened is that Nandor took a bat
正在这里接受治疗的蝙蝠
that was being treated here,
然后他把它放生了
and he just rereleased it into the wild.
一只生病的蝙蝠
Uh, a sick, sick bat.
你觉得我现在可能得狂犬病了吗
Do you think I might have rabies now?
-有可能 -不是现在吉尔莫
- Possible. - Not now, Guillermo.
我只是不明白为什么我得
I just don't know how it's my responsibility to pay
支付互联网和有线电视的费用
for both Internet and cable.
当你有个室友
When you have a roommate,
所有东西都应该分摊
you're supposed to kind of split everything down the middle.
这简直是在折磨我的耳朵
This is a misery for my ears.
我知道我只是
I know, I just...
-衣服很赞怪胎 -哥特糟透了
- Nice outfit, freak. - Goth sucks.
不要杀他们求求你
You mustn't kill them, please.
-不我没打算做什么的 -真的吗
- Oh, no, I wasn't gonna do anything. - Really? Huh.
我做保安时见过很多这样的事
Yeah. I... you know, I see a lot of this as a security guard,
最好的解决办法是
and the best way to handle this...
-发生了什么 -他游戏方式错了
- What happened? - He was playing the game wrong.
我真不敢相信格雷戈尔变得这么无聊
I cannot believe how boring Gregor has become.
在他之前的每一世里他都是那么令人振奋
In every other past life, he was so exhilarating.
特立独行
Such a maverick.
当他是个洗衣妇时
You know, when he was a washer woman,
他会把脏兮兮的拖把水倒在我身上
he would pour dirty old mop juice all over my body
然后在强♥奸♥我时把水操进我体内
and rub it into me while he ravished me.
当他是匹野马时
When he was a wild horse...
我光着身子骑着他走遍了整个乡村
I rode him naked all throughout the countryside.
但这个版本的格雷戈尔
But this version of Gregor?
无聊到丢人
It is a boring disgrace.
你知道吗因为他们给他取名杰普斯杰夫
And you know what? It's because they named him Jeps. Jeff.
你套环玩得真好
Wow, you were really good at ring toss.
-今晚我玩得很开心 -我受不了了
- I had so much fun tonight. - I cannot take this.
我受不了你变得这么无聊
I cannot take how boring you have become.
你取名叫杰夫
How are you supposed to be a strong,
怎么能成为一个壮实
thrilling, powerful warrior and lover
令人激动又强大的战士和爱人呢
with a name like Jeff?
-就像无力的射♥精♥一样 -好吧
- It is like a weak ejaculation. - Okay.
-杰夫 - 好吧你知道吗
- Jeff. - Okay, all right, all right. You know what?
你对我真是太不礼貌了
You're being really rude to me
以及我的叔叔杰夫还有爷爷杰夫
and my Uncle Jeff, but also Grandpa Jeff,
-这就是我的底线 -回去
- and that's where I draw the line. - Go back.
记起来
Remember.
记起你是谁
Remember who you are.
我站在山顶上
I am standing on the crest of a hill.
喀尔巴阡山脉之巅
Atop the Carpathian Mountains.
我凯♥旋♥而归
I am victorious from battle.
但我身中
But I am punctured...
多箭
by many arrow.
可我还是活了下来
Yet I survive.
我必须活下去
I must survive...
见我的爱人
to see my lover.
娜嘉
Nadja.
爱会让我挺过来
Love... will get me through.
欲望将给予我能量
Desire... will fuel my journey.
格雷戈尔
Oh, Gregor...
-是你 -听
- it is you. - Hark.
有骑士靠近
A rider approaches.
他在挥剑
He is wielding a sword.
朝我而来
It comes towards me,
-直指我的头 -下一世
- aiming directly for my hea... - oh, next life.
马上就来陛下
Be down in a minute, sire.
这拖把
This mop...
里面的水多如我无限的欲望
It is as full of water as I am desire.
我想要可是我不行
I want to, but I mustn't.
-不你可以 -不他会听到的
- No, you can. - No, he will hear.
就亲吻一下
Just one little kiss with our lips.
-他会暴怒的 -就把我们的嘴贴在一切
- He will be so angry. - Just stick our mouths together.
-不先生别打我的头 -下一世
- Oh, no, sir, not my head. - Next!
格林里奇动物福利院
晚上11点54分
肃静我的四腿朋友们
Silence, my four-legged friends.
我感觉到了你们今晚的愤怒
I sense you are angry tonight.
理由很充分
And with good reason.
因为我们处于监禁中
For we have been imprisoned.
是的未经审判就被关了进来
Yes, without trial.
现在是时候举起桨来
Now is the time to hoist our oars
朝自♥由♥划去
and row towards freedom.
同意吗
Agreed?
谢谢
Thank you.
我猜
Now, I'm assuming
我右边笼子里关的是一只猫
that there is a cat in the cage to my right.
很好
Excellent.
屈服于我的黑暗力量
You will succumb to my dark power,
打开你的门闩
and you will undo your latch
然后解救我
and free me.
松开你的门闩然后解救我
Loosen your latch and free me.
-好了 -屈服靠
- All right... - Succumb... Shit.
-蝙蝠 -进来
- Bat. - Here you go.
这边你知道你住哪
Over here. You know your spot.
进去
There you go.
还是家最温暖哦
Home, sweet home.
听话
Be good.
好了大家晚安
All right. Night, fellas.
-南多是你吗 -是的
- Nandor? Is that you? - Yes.
我把自己变成了狗来救你
I turned myself into a dog to come and rescue you.
等等你把自己变成了狗
Hang on a second-- you turned yourself into a dog
-在一个关押狗的地方 -我就想着
- in a place that imprisons dogs? - I just thought I'd be
我得有点想象力然后来拯救你
a bit creative and come and rescue you.
你不想要我救你我可以走
You don't want me to rescue you, I can go again.
告诉我你打算怎么救
And tell me how you do that.
你被关在笼子里
You're locked in a fucking cage.
娜嘉会怎么说她在哪
What's Nadja gonna say? Where is she?
不停下
No! Stop!
-停下 -我的格雷戈尔真棒
- Stop! - My Gregor, yes!
快
Come on!
嘿非警♥察♥
Hey, not-a-cop.
我靠
Whoa, whoa. Holy shit.
-是的 -我们打败了时间本身
- Yes. - We have defeated time itself.
我们被吸引到了一起
We have been drawn together.
我们现在就做♥爱♥吧
Let's make love right now.
-在这儿吗 -是的
- Right here? - Yeah, here.
就在这个污秽停车场的脏地上
Right here on the dirty ground in this filthy parking lot.
-就等你说这句话呢 -嗯
- Oh, I was hoping you would say that. - Yeah.
天你要接吗你要接吗
Oh, God. You want to get that? Do you need to get that?
喂
Hello?
你好吉尔莫
Hello, Guillermo.
明白
Yeah, I see.
他做了什么
He did what?
我好的嗯
I'm... Okay, yeah. Yeah.
嗯嗯好再见
Yeah, yeah, okay. Bye-bye.
再见好的
Bye. Okay. Yeah.
抱歉我得走了
Sorry, I have to leave.
-别走 -我知道
- Stay with me. - I know.
我们现在就来一场兽♥性♥十足的嘿♥咻♥
Let's make animalistic, freaky sex right now.
不行有人需要我
No, but somebody else needs me
当然没这么色情但现实就这样
in a much less erotic way, but, you know, it is what it is.
可我为你而牺牲娜嘉我看到了
But I've died for you, Nadja. I've seen it.
这些幻象足以逼疯一个人
These visions are enough to drive a man to madness.
你只为我牺牲了一次