吸血鬼生活

What We Do in the Shadows S01E08

Part 3 April 19, 2020, 9:20 a.m.

Heightened senses.
我不明白变成蝙蝠
I just don't understand. Turning into a bat
对吸血鬼来说再容易不过了
is the easiest thing for a vampire to do.
我对詹娜目前的进展并不感到失望
I am not disappointed with Jenna's progress so far.
也许她没有特殊能力
So, you know, maybe she doesn't have a special power.
那又如何她是个低于平均水平的吸血鬼
So what? She's a below-average vampire.
无论如何我觉得她准备好
Either way, I do think she's very much ready
享用她第一顿人类美餐了
for her first human meal.
我对你很有信心
I believe in you very much.
我们要去一个满是性感蠢货的派对
We are going to go to a party full of hot idiots.
我们命令你邀请我们
We demand you invite us
进入你的家庭狂欢立刻
inside your house carnival, now.
不好意思不行
Yeah, that's gonna be a "No."
我们想做什么就做什么
We will do whatever the hell we want to do.
在这之后你要更尊重女性懂吗
And you will respect women a lot more after this, okay?
懂了
Okay.
美国公民暨移♥民♥服务局
显然我会
Obviously, I'm just going to
催眠我的面试官给我公民身份
hypnotize my interviewer into giving me my citizenship.
你上次离开这个国家是什么时候
When was the last time you traveled out of this country?
听我说的话
Listen to my words.
你要授予我美国公民身份
You will grant me my American citizenship.
让我加入你的邪恶帝国
Make me one with your evil empire.
你觉得这是笑话吗先生
Is this a joke to you, sir?
不
No.
-很好 -似乎
- Good. - It seems
政♥府♥员工对催眠术免疫
that, uh, government workers are immune to hypnotism.
好像他们灵魂死了一样
It's like their souls are dead or something.
请描述持有枪♥械♥的权利
Please describe the right to bear arms.
如果天气好
If it's a nice day,
你应该有权
you should have the right
暴露你的手臂
to bare your arms.
好吧继续
All right. Moving on.
我侦测不到他们的人类迹象
I don't detect any human left in them.
好这里有谁看着特别可口
Right. Who in here looks lovely, yummy-yummy,
让你有食欲
tasty enough to eat?
他怎么样他看着很好笑
Oh, what about him? He looks like a really good laugh.
他是我统计课上的同学
He's in my stats class.
所以呢
So?
所以我不能杀他
So, I-I cannot kill him
因为这会毁了他家庭的
because that would be a very big blow to his family.
我情感上承受不了
I can't take that on emotionally.
拜托亲爱的听我说
Please, darling, listen to me.
这房♥间里全是混♥蛋♥
We are in a room full of pure asshole.
随便杀个人都是替天行道真的
You can do no wrong. Honestly.
我相信你亲爱的
I believe in you, my darling.
-好 -好
- Okay. - Okay.
总统选举多少年举♥行♥一次
We elect a president for how many years?
一千年
A thousand years.
好
Okay.
宪法的前三个字
The idea of self-government
说明自治的概念
is in the first three words of the Constitution.
这三个字是什么
So what are these words?
嘿你们
Hey... you guys.
好吧
Yeah. Okay.
宪法的作用是什么
What does the Constitution do for the people?
-它 -压♥迫♥他们
- It... - Oppresses them.
试图引起他的注意亲爱的
Try and get his attention, darling.
可爱的红脸
Lovely red face.
你喜欢你的酒吗
Are you enjoying your drink?
你喜欢你的酒吗
Are you enjoying your drink?!
-他好像听不到我 -是的
- I don't think he hears me. - No,
也许是你还不够用力
I just think maybe you're not trying hard enough.
看我给你演示
Just watch me, okay?
你好
Oh, hello.
不好意思撞到了你
Oops, I'm... very sorry for bumping into you.
我过会儿会惩罚自己
I will punish myself later,
因为我是个坏女孩
'cause I'm such a bad girl.
你家长是谁
Who are your parents?
他们真坏生了你这么大个儿子
They are very bad for making such a big boy.
我爱你非常爱
I love you. So much.
看到没很简单
See? It's very, very easy.
我想和你共度余生
Just might want to spend the rest of my life with you.
-我要做你的奴隶 -很好
- I live to be your slave. - Yes, yes.
上楼去把你的头放进马桶
Now, go upstairs, put your head deep inside the toilet bowl,
然后冲7次
and flush it seven times.
你这是滥用权力吧
I think, I think that was an abuse of power.
只是虐待那个男孩
I think it's just an abuse of that boy.
我的天
Oh, my...!
你好
Hello.
你好
Hello?!
没事没事
Okay. No, it's okay.
-他会道歉的 -不
- He'll-he'll apologize. - No.
你刚把你的
You have just spilled
一大杯蜂蜜酒洒在了我同伴身上
your tankard of mead all over my companion.
什么谁
What? Who?
我
Me.
这毫无意义没人看到我
This is pointless! Nobody sees me!
他们为什么看不到我毫无意义
Why don't they see me? This is pointless!
不亲爱的不是毫无意义
No, darling, it's not pointless.
不我不干了我受够了
No! I'm done! I'm done. I've had it.
-谢谢抱歉 -可是
- Thank you, I'm sorry. - But...
借过你能
Excuse me! Could you just...
你能让开吗
Can you just get out of my way?!
让开
Get out of my way!
为什么没人听到我说话
Why does nobody hear me?!
什么
Wh--
你看到了吗
Did you see?
有人天呐
Did anyone-- Really?!
詹娜
Jenna?
你刚才隐身了
You went invisible.
你们看到了吗
The-- Didn't you see it?
你有一个非常特别的能力
You have a very, very special power.
你将用其杀死很多人类
You are going to murder so many human people with this.
太棒了
Yes.
这是我这辈子最棒的一晚
This is the best night of my life!
-等等 -她去哪了
- Okay, wait, wait, wait. - Where has she gone?
德古拉来了
Dracula's in the house!
我的詹娜呢
Where's my Jenna?
在这儿呢
There she is!
这太棒了
This is amazing!
我有一个炫酷的吸血鬼能力
I have a cool vampire power.
不知道现在有没有人
Now, I wonder if anyone looks
看上去很可口美味
a little bit yummy-scrummy-bummy
能吸引你的嘴去杀死他们
for you to murder with your mouth right now, hey?
扶他起来
Pick him up!
-什么鬼 -嗨
- What the fuck?! - Hi.
你好没事
Hey, there. Um, no, it's okay.
只需要一点冷冻
Just need a little bit of... little bit of chill.
抱歉别动
Okay, s-sorry. Hold-hold still.
我得封住你的血
Just gonna get the lid on nice and tight on your blood,
这样就不会在我书包里泄漏
so it doesn't, um, leak in my backpack.
我完成了你给我的任务了女主人
I've done as you asked, Mistress.
现在别来找我大男孩
Not now, big boy.
去吃点砖块
Go and eat some bricks.
为了测试你的英语理解力
Now, to test your English comprehension,
我将请你朗读《宣誓誓词》
I'm going to ask you to recite the Oath of Allegiance.
好
Okay.
我在这里郑重宣誓
"I hereby declare, on oath,
我完全放弃我对以前所属任何外国亲王
"That I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure
君主国家或主♥权♥之公民资格
"All allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince