吸血鬼生活

What We Do in the Shadows S01E08

Part 1 April 19, 2020, 9:20 a.m.

斯坦顿岛
社区大学
我给了一位陌生女孩最美好的礼物
I have given a strange girl the most beautiful gift--
变成阴影中的
the gift of becoming a vampiric
吸血鬼一样的吸血生物
bloodsucking creature of the shadows.
你看见了吗
Did you see that?
她目前还没有
She has not yet blossomed
完全转化成吸血鬼
into her full vampiric state,
但我觉得她正在转化的过程中了
but I think she is on her way.
我他妈的是怎么了
Oh, what the hell is happening to me?
抱歉我看着
Sorry if I don't
和我的正常状态不太一样我只是...
seem up to my normal self. I just...
我正在经历一些变化
I've just been going through changes.
做了一些疯狂的梦
Having crazy dreams.
超级诡异的
Like, super weird.
我的朋友们注意到了
My friends have noticed.
情绪波动不正常的欲望
Mood swings. Unusual cravings.
我通常情况下是个弹性素食者
I'm usually a flexatarian.
还有谁米开朗基罗
Who else? Michelangelo Buonarroti.
米开朗基罗
Michelangelo...
我的眼睛变得非常敏感
I've developed an eye sensitivity,
我的皮肤也是
and skin sensitivity.
而且有时...
And sometimes...
有时我会有把我室友撕碎的冲动
Sometimes I have this urge to tear my roommate to shreds.
吸血鬼生活
第一季第八集
谢谢大家前来参加这次家庭会议
Thank you all for coming to this house meeting.
我必须提醒大家
I must remind everyone
如果你把受害者诱拐回家
that if you are gonna entice a victim into the house
然后又没杀他们
and then you let them live,
那就得把他们送出去
show them out.
-明白了 -可以
- Loud and clear. - Fair enough.
-这是基本的礼貌 -好吧没错
- It's common courtesy. - All right. Yes.
-确实 -是的
- It is. - It is.
以及有没有可能在你们离开屋子时
Also, is it possible, for when you leave the house,
把蜡烛吹灭
to blow out the candles?
看好了
Observe.
就那么简单避免了重大灾难
Simple as that. Major catastrophe-averted.
那股恶心的腐烂味是哪来的
What is that disgusting putrefied smell?
像是...煮熟的蛇
Like a... snake in heat?
可能是我
That may be me.
我喷了新的古龙水名叫"狂欢先生"
I'm wearing a new cologne called "Mr. Hijinks."
-好吧很好我... -须后水吗
- Okay, great. I am... - Aftershave?
是古龙水和须后水的混合
It's a cologne/aftershave mix
-我在单位的洗手间找到的 -好极了
- and I found it in the bathroom at work. - Eh, great.
我们能别再谈论古龙水了吗
Can we just not talk about the cologne anymore, please?
-你为什么要喷古龙水 -嘘
- Why would you use a cologne? - Shush!
为了惹你烦
To annoy you.
-说得好 -拜托我正在说话呢
- Touché. - Please, I am speaking here!
我当国家领袖那会儿
And when I was the leader of my country,
会把任何在我谈论蜡烛时
I would kill anyone who disrespected me
不尊重我的人都杀了
when I'm talking about candles.
你曾经是一个国家的领袖
You were the leader of a country?
对我曾经是艾尔克兰乌达的领袖
Yes. I was the leader of Al Quolanudar.
听着像是你刚编出来的
That sounds like you just made it up.
-听起来太假了 -不我不是刚编出来
- Sounds fake. - No, I have not just made it up.
这是个真实存在的国家
It's a real country.
不是假的是真的国家
It's not a fake country, it's a real country.
艾尔克兰乌达
Al Quolanudar.
-愿神保佑你 -吉尔莫
- Bless you. - Guillermo,
用你那个很聪明的电♥话♥机器查一查
go on your intelligent telephone machine and look it up.
拼写是A
Spell that A...
-A-L 另起一词 -好的
- A-L. New word. - Uh-huh.
-我查到了 -太好了
- I've got it. - Oh, great!
它现在怎么样
Uh, how-how is it doing?
不是很好分♥裂♥了
Not so hot. It's dissolved.
-什么什么时候的事 -1401年
- What? When did this happen? - 1401.
发现
To find out
自己的国家自从1401年之后就不复存在
that your country has not existed since 1401...
令我震惊至极
is a pretty sudden shock.
那曾是我的故土
It was my home.
对我确实是因为抢劫
Yes, I was driven out for pillaging
杀人还有施行酷刑被赶了出来
and killing and torturing
把我赶走也并没什么不对
and that's fair enough, really.
但现在我还剩下什么
But now what do I have?
我失去了故土
Nowhere is my home.
看这个小家伙这副样子实在让我恶心
It is very disgusting for me to see this little one like this.
她就像一头残废的
She is like a disabled,
体弱多病的驴
very sickly donkey,
看着太过悲惨
that you want to smash in the skull because it is just
以至于你想捶烂它的脑袋
too pitiful to look at.
我估计我刚变成吸血鬼那会
Eh, I suppose I was not
也好不到哪里去
much different when I first became a vampire.
从来没人和我
No one had had
针对我的不洁转变对我进行过开导
"The talk" With me about my unholy transition.
从来都没有人指引过我
I had had no one to guide me.
这是我故土的一袋土壤
This is a bag of soil from my homeland
我旅行时会带上它
that I take with me when I travel.
这是艾尔克兰乌达仅存的东西了
'Tis all that is left of Al Quolanudar.
艾尔克兰乌达
Al Quolanudar!
艾尔克兰乌达操
Al Quolanudar-- Shit.
我的天
Oh, my God!
算了
Forget it.
什么
What?
你被释放了
You are released.
我不饿
I'm not hungry.
只是
It's just...
我刚发现我的国家已经不复存在了
I just found out that my country doesn't exist anymore
我对此感到非常郁闷
and I'm really depressed about it.
然后我就没食欲了
And I've lost my appetite.
你肯定不想听这都是怎么一回事
You don't want to hear about all this.
-你都逃跑了 -什么
- Y-You were running away. - W...
你还好吗
Are you okay?
谢谢你的关心但真的你走吧
It's kind of you to ask, but really, you go.
赶紧走
Flee. Flee!
主人你还好吗
Master, are you all right?
我没有国家我没有家
I have no country. I have no home.
什么不这是你的家
What? No, this is your home.
而且这就是你的国家
And this is your country.
不都不是
No, it's not and it's not.
如果你是美国公民也许你会感觉好点
Well, maybe you'd feel better if you were an American citizen?
-有可能吗 -当然
- Is that possible? - Of course.
对
Yes.
我要与这个邪恶的国家结盟
I will make an alliance with this unholy nation
然后让这里成为我的家
and make this place my home!
就是这样
There you go.
那里有个公交车站
I think that's a bus stop there.
我们家里见
I'll see you back at home.
我意识到
Yeah, it's become pretty clear to me
-我要变成吸血鬼了 -我咬了你的脖子
- that I'm turning into a vampire. - I bit your neck.
我让你喝我的血你以为我在干什么
I made you drink my blood. What did you think I was doing?
我不知道我只是以为吸血鬼并不存在
I don't know. I-I just didn't think vampires existed and...
你在讽刺我
You are giving me sarcasm?
我很喜欢
I-I enjoy.
我会永远觉得自己像个废物吗
Am I gonna feel like crap for all eternity?
宝贝你觉得像废物因为你在吃废物
Darling, you feel like crap because you are eating crap.
你活得像个烟囱男孩
You are living like a little chimney boy.
如果你想成为一个强大的吸血鬼
If you want to be a powerful, strong vampire,
你必须要完成转化
you just have to complete your transition.
-我要怎么做呢 -亲爱的没什么
- How do I do that? - Darling, it's nothing.
你只需要喝些人血宝贝
You just got to drink some human blood, baby.
就这些我会教你怎么杀人
That's all. I am going to teach you how to kill.