副校长（2016）

Vice Principals S01E02

Part 1 Aug. 22, 2020, 8:22 p.m.

早上好同学们
Good morning, students.
今天午餐供应
Today's lunch options will be
索尔斯伯利牛肉饼和意大利辣香肠披萨
Salisbury steak or pepperoni pizza.
今天魔术俱乐部的活动室是109室
The Magic Club will be meeting in 109 today.
爪哇咖啡来了
Java, Java.
按照您的要求
Just like you like it,
两勺奶四块糖
two creams and four sugars.
谢谢你罗素先生
Oh! Well, thank you, Mr. Russell.
你都要把人家惯坏了
You're gonna spoil me up in here.
去你♥妈♥的♥"两勺奶四块糖"
Two creams and four sugars my ass.
她该喝的不是咖啡
She doesn't need coffee.
来点大肠清道夫还差不多
She needs a fucking colon cleanse.
妈的不是说好了7点45分见面吗
Goddamn it. Is it 7:45?
现在都7点51分了
'Cause my watch says 7:51 to me.
那傻♥逼♥要喝咖啡
Bitch needed a coffee.
我们方方面面都要协调一致懂吗
We need to be coordinated on all fronts.All right?
如果约好了要见面
If we set a meet,
就他妈的按时来
you show up at the goddamn meet time.
好了别他妈墨迹了
All right! I fuckin' heard you!
快他妈闭嘴
Shut the fuck up!
-你♥他♥妈♥才该闭嘴 -看看这个
- You shut the fuck up. - Here, check this.
这是我在人肉网站上搜集到的全部信息
All the information I was able to gather on Dumpus Maximus.
个人情况政♥府♥公文财务状况
Personal data, government documents, financial papers.
这都是你一个人搞的
You put this together yourself?
是的二♥逼♥ 我给这学校每个人都建了一份
Yes, motherfucker.I have one on everybody in this school.
你别说你还给我建了一份
You better not have one on me.
内容我都掌握了毁掉吧
I processed the information. Now destroy it.
-扯淡 -我有过目不忘的能力
- Bullshit. - I have a photographic memory.
我在这些信息中
I've retained the pertinent informations
挑重点的记住了
and discarded the rest.
那你记不记得关于她
Well, did you memorize the part about her firing
炒掉了所有共事过的副校长那部分描述
every other vice principal she's ever worked with?
在哪
W-- where did it say that?
第一页
Page one!
傻♥逼♥
Dumb-ass.
在之前三个她掌过权的学校
At the last three schools she's taken over,
她把学校管理人员来了个大换血
she cleared out the front office and replaced them.
操
Shit.
我们该怎么办
What do we do?
不能来硬的
It means we gotta play nice.
不能傻♥逼♥呵呵的
Means we can't be fucking idiots.
这娘们会把你我
Now, this woman will fire you and me
和其他看不顺眼的人都炒掉
and anybody else she doesn't like.
别让她轻易得逞别太出风头
And don't make it easy on her. Keep your head down.
按照计划陪她玩
Start playing the fucking game.
然后怎么办
Then what?
什么怎么办
"Then what" What?
然后你我之间谁来掌权
Then who seizes power, you or me?
等我们把这娘们干趴下
When we shit-can this bitch,
就分道扬镳了
it's every motherfucker for himself.
这只是暂时结盟
This is a temporary alliance.
说实话甘比
To be honest, Gamby,
在我心中你依旧傻♥逼♥一个
I still think you're a fucking dipshit.
彼此彼此
Well, I think you're a fucking dipshit too.
还是个蠢逼
You're a fucking dummy.
-你领带真难看 -你个智障
- I think your tie sucks. - I think you're stupid
-一脸呆逼相 -看你那一脸
- and your face is ridiculous to me. - Bushy-ass mustache
-二♥逼♥胡子 -操你嘴操你腚
- wearing motherfucker. - Fuck your face. Fuck your butt.
重点是...
The point is...
就凭我自己肯定干不掉她
I can't destroy her all alone.
说得太对了你没那能耐
You're goddamn right you can't.
我同意你的条件
I agree to your terms.
搞定那娘们然后再一决高下
We take the bitch down, then best man wins.
但在那之前我们是平等的合作关系懂了吗
But until then, this is an equal partnership. You hear me?
不能光你一人发号♥施令
I call the shots too. Not just you.
看来你想用自己的办法来
Oh, you wanna do it your way.
再给校董事会写封信吗
Write another letter to the goddamn school board.
那好啊
Yeah, that's right.
你的办法屁用没有
You did it your way.
现在开始用我的办法
Now, motherfucker, we gonna do it mine.
再退后点
Go further back.
什么鬼
The fuck?
副校长
第一季第二集
孙子辈的都长大了
All the grandkids are getting big.
特蕾西真漂亮跟她祖母一样美
Tracy's quite a looker, just like her grandma.
嘴要不要这么甜啊小坏蛋
Oh, get thee behind me, Satan.
搞定了损坏的文件都删掉了
And there you go, the corrupted file has been deleted.
真的吗
You're kidding me!
-真的电脑又咻咻的了 -你真棒
- Nope. You're up and running. - All right! You're the master!
-利比女士 -有何吩咐
- Mrs. Libby? - Yes?
我还在等你的考勤报告呢
I'm still waiting on those attendance reports.
就在这女士
Oh! I-- I have them right here, ma'am.
让我来吧
You know what, let me do this.
-要我帮忙吗没事吧 -没事谢谢
- Do you need any help? Are you okay? - No, I'm fine. Thank you.
我的天
Oh, my goodness.
没关系
That's all right.
没关系
That's all right.
找到了
We got it.
都在这了
Here we are.
哎呦喂
Oopsy daisy!
唉呀妈呀
Oh, my goodness!
给您别担心
Now here-- not gonna worry.
好了
There.
我可没让你毁掉森林哦
I didn't ask you to destroy a forest, did I?
本校要倡导无纸化办公利比女士
We're a paperless school now, Mrs. Libby.
好的布朗小姐
Oh. Well, yes, Ms. Brown.
是布朗教授
It's Dr. Brown.
布朗教授
Dr. Brown.
甘比先生您现在有空吗
Mr. Gamby, do you have a moment?
-我想让你见个人 -谢谢
- There's someone I'd like you to meet. - Thank you.
布朗教授
Dr. Brown.
布朗教授
Dr. Brown.
甘比先生这位是布莱斯·沙颂
Mr. Gamby, this is Blythe Sason.
他是我的助手
He's an associate of mine.
我让他对学校进行评估
I've asked him to do an evaluation of the school.
评估
An evaluation?
我就是想了解一下学校的经营状况
I just like to know how a school works,
谁都在干什么没那么严肃
who's doing what. It's not that serious.
好吧当然
Okay. Uh, sure.
就这事吗
Is that all?
并不是
No, it's not.
既然你这么早就来了
Since you get here so early in the morning,
介不介意帮教员和工作人员
do you mind picking up biscuits
买♥♥点酥饼呢
for the faculty and staff?
我只是觉得等大家来了
I just think it would be a nice gesture
发现有温馨早餐应该很贴心吧
to have a warm breakfast waiting for them when they come in.
你觉得可好甘比先生
Does that sound good to you, Mr. Gamby?
好挺好的
I mean, yeah, it sounds good. Sounds great.
早上能吃点酥饼什么的再好不过了
Biscuits are a delicious thing to have in the morning,
可我不明白为啥得是我
but I don't understand why I'm the one
去给所有人买♥♥酥饼
who has to go get biscuits for everybody.
你都知道酥饼好吃了
Well, if you know they're delicious,
那你肯定明白为啥得是你去买♥♥吧
then you do understand why you need to pick them up.
你在写什么
What are you writing down?
不用管他
Don't worry about him.
所以我能指望你吗甘比先生
So, can I count on you, Mr. Gamby?
当然
Yeah, of course.
你可以指望我
You can count on me.
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
这句可以写进你的...