副校长（2016）

Vice Principals S01E04

Part 2 Aug. 22, 2020, 8:22 p.m.

甘比先生
Hey, Mr. Gamby.
-什么事 -没事
- What was that? - Nothin'.
就是想随口夸夸你做学校荣誉演讲
Just a, uh, off-the-cuff remark about your school pride.
我不会字字重复
I'm not gonna repeat it word-for-word.
那就没当时的感觉了
It just wouldn't be as fresh.
好没关系
Okay. That's fine.
从演讲可以看得出...
I mean, the gist of it was that, uh...
你似乎真的很期待校友返校节
it looks like you're really looking forward to homecoming.
说实话一点也不
Oh. Honestly, not at all.
我被指派为校友返校委员会
I got assigned to be faculty advisor
指导教师的可我也说不好
for the homecoming committee, but, um, I don't know.
这件事让我很不爽
This whole thing just makes me feel very uncomfortable.
少在我面前胡说八道
Now I know you're fuckin' with me.
看看这些标志
Look at these signs.
你似乎忙活了一整晚
Looks like you've been working on these all night.
我在小屋里找到的
I just found that in the shed.
是你妙手回春
Well, you breathed new life into it.
保持这份激♥情♥ 斯♥诺♥格拉斯老师
Keep up the enthusiasm, Ms. Snodgrass.
肯定有用武之地
We're sure gonna need it.
但愿有上百万个像你一样的人
I wish I had a million, ten thousands of you.
-感恩 -谢谢
- Thanks. - Thank you.
继续忙吧
Get back to work.
干得好泰勒我喜欢这些标志
Good work, Taylor! I love these signs!
-斯♥诺♥格拉斯 -在
- Snodgrass! - Yeah?
跪下
On your knees!
跪下画画不是胯下动嘴
To paint the sign, not to do dick sucks.
操爽
Oh, fuck. Shit.
我♥操♥ 我♥操♥ 我♥操♥
Shit, shit, shit.
矮油居然还是草莓味的
Someone's been eating strawberries.
别别别听着我们该谈谈
No, no, no. Look, look, we-- we should talk.
我们该谈谈
We should talk.
在查尔斯镇发生的事
What happened in Charles Towne Landing,
只是一时冲动
it was a one-time thing.
什么
What?
刚给你口完你居然说这个
I literally just got finished blowing you.
你没跟别人说吧
You haven't told anyone, have you?
你没开玩笑吧在逗我玩吗
Are you serious right now? Are you playing with me?
上司和下属不能乱搞
Bosses and employees cannot fuck each other.
在查尔斯镇你可不是这么说的
That's not what you said at Charles Towne Landing.
那天发生了很多事你可能记错了
Your recollection of events is all over the place, okay?
你也不想因为撒谎被开除吧
You wouldn't want to be fired for being a liar.
没撒谎你♥他♥妈♥把我♥干♥了个爽
It's not a lie. You fucked the shit out of me.
那就是因为淫乱被开除
Well, then for being a whore.
什么
Excuse me?
我随口一说别人可能会这么认为
I'm just sayin'.That's how it's gonna look to people.
谁会嚼舌根
Who's gonna gossip?
-任何发现此事的人... -那我就干♥死♥他
- Whoever finds out about... - I'll fucking kill 'em
如果他们嚼舌根的话
if they gossip.
不要听着好了
No. See? See? There you go.
拜托别告诉任何人好吗
Just please don't tell anyone, okay?
谁要是敢说我宝贝的闲话
If anybody gossips about my baby,
我就干♥死♥他们
I'll fucking kill 'em.
别别听着
No.No, look, look. Look, look.
我们以后再说
We'll... we'll talk later.
-我爱你 -什么
- I love you. - What?
不不不不是真的只是...
No, no, no. No. No. Not really. I just...
我不是那些不敢说爱你的人♥渣♥
I'm not one of those guys who's afraid to say that.
我先走你等五分钟再出来好吗
Just wait here five minutes and leave after I leave, okay?
好
Okay.
我也爱你
I love you too.
好了小子们线前防守
All right, boys! Defense above the line!
操拜托教练
God damn. Come on, Coach!
让小子们动起来啊
Get these boys movin'!
得为了校友返校抓紧训练啊再来
We're gonna get our ass kicked for homecoming! Again!
专注训练
Pay attention to the game!
打得真烂
They suck.
你今天早上看见布朗了吗
Did you see Brown this mornin'?
天惹她已经在崩溃边缘了
Jesus! Put a fork in her. She's done.
我在那贱逼的电脑上装了间谍软件
I installed spyware on Cuntress' laptop.
她在领英上找工作的频率
She's been hittin' those LinkedIn job searches
和她吃芝士蛋糕一样多
like she eats cheesecake.
我告诉你甘比我们已经抓住了
I'll tell you what, Gamby, we've got this bitch
这个贱♥人♥的痛脚
exactly where we want her.
再推一下她就要掉进大峡谷里了
One push and she falls into the Grand Canyon.
如果大峡谷能装下她的话
If she can fit.
-大峡谷都装不下 -因为她太肥了
- If she can fit! If she can fit! - 'Cause she's so big
-大峡谷不可能装得下她 -我明白笑点
- that there's no way she could probably fit. - I got it.
嗯
Yeah.
杰克逊食我大屌♥
等等那是记号♥笔吗
Wait, is that a permanent marker?
不拉塞尔你在破坏学校运动设施
No, no, Russell, you're defacing the athletic school property.
我他妈才不关心运动你看不出来吗甘比
I don't give a fuck about athletics. Don't you see, Gamby?
这是绝佳的烟雾弹
This is the perfect smokescreen.
我们可以随意折腾布朗然后甩锅给珀西瓦尔
We can do anything we want to Brown and blame it on Percival.
不我不喜欢这样
No. I do not like that.
贝琳达食我大屌♥
这样
Now that,
我支持
I can get behind.
这就对了甘比
That's the spirit, Gamby.
不要穿着湿泳衣坐在床上
Get your asses off the bed in those wet bathing suits.
已经干了
They dry now.
我要干♥你♥
Oh, I'm about to dry you.
我刚和你们校长谈了
I just spoke with your headmaster.
他说你俩逃学了
He said y'all been cutting class.
他是个老傻♥逼♥ 死基佬
Dude suck. He's an old gay dude.
-他还想摸我的奶头 -够了
- Yeah, he tried to touch my nipple. - Enough of this!
你俩小子怎么变得这么没礼貌
Now, how did you boys get to be so disrespectful?
我们最近经历的事情太多了
We've been going through a lot.
我们房♥子烧没了老妈
Our house burned down, Momma.
我知道烧没了
Oh, I know it did.
他们说是有人故意烧的
And they think somebody did that on purpose,
而我开始怀疑
and I'm startin' to wonder
谁会想烧我们房♥子
who would want to burn down our house?
你说啥妈
What you sayin', Momma?
你俩跟我说实话
Now, I need y'all to tell me the truth.
你俩是不是烧了房♥子
Did you all burn down that house
迫使我们搬回费城
so we'd have to move back to Philly?
-什么鬼 -我们为什么要烧自家房♥子
- The fuck? - Why would be burn our own shit, Momma?
行了我知道你俩以前就喜欢玩火
Oh please! I know how you all used to like to mess with fire.
记得那辆大众吗
Remember that Volkswagen?
-那不是火那是瓶装炸♥弹♥ -瓶装炸♥弹♥
- That wasn't fire. Those were bottle bombs. - Bottle bombs.
我不管那是啥
I don't care what it was!
回答我
Now answer me this.
房♥子着火那天你俩是不是翘课了
Did you all skip class on the day the house burned down?
等等那是哪天
Wait, what day was that?
星期二
Tuesday.
对我们可能翘了
Oh. Yeah, we might've skipped.
你们觉得这很好玩是吧混小子
Oh, you think this funny, huh, little boy?
我们什么都没烧我♥操♥ 妈
We didn't burn nothin'! Damn, Momma!
别这么混♥蛋♥
Stop bein' a asshole.
你再敢叫我混♥蛋♥试试
Don't you dare call me no asshole.
你们都被禁足了
You both are grounded!
-在旅馆里 -说对了就是在旅馆里
- To the hotel? - You goddamn right, to the hotel.
你俩就坐这儿
You gonna sit here and think about
埋怨你妈是混♥蛋♥吧
your mother being an asshole.
-上♥床♥睡觉 -这才五点半
- Now get into bed. Now! - But it's only 5:30!
我不管现在几点
I don't care what time it is!
滚床上去
Get your ass into bed!
现在
Now!
你再把嘴吧唧一下试试听见没
Smack your lips again. Hear?
北杰克逊高中
返校赛周五