副校长（2016）

Vice Principals S01E07

Part 3 Aug. 22, 2020, 8:24 p.m.

我赚的钱能养家糊口吗
Am I making enough money to support my family?
可以但是你内心空虚
Yes. But you feel empty inside,
就好像你的人生毫无意义
like your life's work is meaningless.
你他娘说什么
What the fuck you say?
失陪一下
Excuse me.
我的工作是非常关心你的吗
Is my job someone who cares about you deeply?
-并不 -你对这个职业有过感情吗
- No. - Did you ever have feelings for this job?
-并没 -妻子
- No. - Wife?
绝逼不可能是妻子
No way in hell is it a wife.
-情人 -不是边都没沾
- Lover? - Nope. Nothing.
-闺蜜 -你是个卡车司机
- Best friend? You're a truck driver.
你就是个肮脏的卡车司机
You're a dirty truck driver.
别再转他了你要干什么
Don't spin him! What are you doing?
你给我别再转了你能不能停一下
Don't spin him right now! Will you stop?
你会转晕的你会掉下来
You're gonna be drunk. You're gonna get out of this thing
你还会吐的你们敢不敢给我停下来
and you're gonna throw up. Will you please just stop it?
你和马里奥和路易吉搞得怎么样
How are things going with Mario and Luigi?
烂爆了
It fuckin' sucks, is how it's going.
不过没关系我会扭转局面的
But that's okay. I'm gonna turn it into a positive.
我要利用他们薄弱的意志套出肥妈的消息
I'm gonna ply their feeble minds for information about Big Mama.
终极背叛
The ultimate betrayal.
你干嘛一直看手♥机♥
Why do you keep checking your phone?
又没有人要给你打电♥话♥
Ain't nobody fucki'' calling you.
我想看看我女儿有没有给我发短♥信♥说比赛进展
Checking to see if my daughter texted me about her race,
很显然她并没有
but of course she didn't
因为她都不在乎我了
because she doesn't care about me anymore.
说实话我很讨厌教师活动日
I just hate teacher workdays, to tell you the truth.
我感觉脑袋里像被灌了浆糊
I just get all emotionally fucked up in my own head.
那里全是老师
There's nobody here except for the teachers.
我总觉得他们都在盯着我看
I just feel like they're always looking at me
好像他们高我一等一样
like they're better than me.
特别是阿尔伯特和海登就是他们最作怪
Especially Abbot and Hayden. They do it the fuckin' most.
海登那个烂货
Hayden? That recycling cunt?
他的衣服都是地摊货
He wears clothes from Structure.
阿尔伯特就是个躁郁狂操他♥娘♥的♥
And Abbot's just a bipolar bitch. Fuck them.
我希望我能这些骂人的话骂得很好
I wish I could. See, those were good insults about them.
但是我说不出来
I can't come up with stuff like that.
这不是我的特长是你的
That's not my forte. That's yours.
你要我教你最简单的骂人法吗
You want me to tell you the easiest way to go?
-好啊 -就像这样
- Yes. - The throat, just like this.
-那是啥 -关键是表情
- What? - Look for the face.
拜托你有对这么屌♥的招风耳
Hey, you got bad-ass fuckin' ears.
看看你那蠢鼻子
Hey, look at your dumb-ass nose.
对你来说就是你那傻不拉几的小胡子
Or in your case, like a fuckin' moustache.
就像我平时吐槽你的小胡子那样
You know, sometimes I go with you with the moustache?
满脸都是就是别总是
It's all right here. Yeah, just don't do that thing
用别人侮辱你的话反击人家
where you repeat a person's insult back at them.
那种烂透了你老做这种事
That's just the worst. And you do that all the time.
我才没有你才是
No, I don't. You do that.
你看你又来了
Just like that. See that?
你老是这样别这么做
That's what you just did. Don't be that person.
-不要做自己甘比 -知道了
- Don't be you, Gamby. - Got it.
尼尔要不要坐我旁边
Hey, Neal, you want to come sit next to me?
好
Yeah.
多谢你在你们的小团体中给我留了座位
Thanks for saving me a seat at the cool kids' table, huh?
阿曼达你干嘛不直接坐他腿上
Amanda, why don't you just sit in his lap?
别这么混♥蛋♥ 比尔
Don't be a dick, Bill.
我是混♥蛋♥ 据我所知
Oh, I'm a dick? 'Cause as I recall,
我读了你的书还做了修改
I read your book and did edits on it.
这还让我变成混♥蛋♥了
So I guess that makes me a dick now.
-书 -别说
- Book? - Don't, no.
阿曼达写了本儿童读物
Amanda wrote a kids' book.
不我写了本青年小说不是儿童读物
No, I wrote a YA novel, not a kids' book. Actually...
叫《卡西欧佩亚的坠落》什么的
It's called "Cassiopeia Falling" or some shit.
是讲一个人操了龙的故事
It's about a dude that fucks dragons.
什么这个我就不看了
What? I'll be skipping that one.
这有什么好笑的阿尔伯特
What's so funny about that, Abbot?
你根本不知道是什么故事
You don't even know what the story's about.
可能并不疯狂可能是很棒的故事
Maybe it's not crazy. Maybe it's, like, a cool story.
操龙的男人这就是疯狂
A guy who fucks dragons? That's crazy.
像人♥兽♥性♥交♥一样
It's more like bestiality.
是啊就像你喜欢你衣服上的图案一样
Yeah, looks like something you're into with that shirt you wore.
你得操多少斑马才能穿上这衣服
How many fuckin' zebras did you have to fuck to get that on?
我告诉你这衣服我在诺德斯特龙买♥♥的
For your information, I got this at Nordstrom.
美国高档百货公♥司♥
我没操斑马
I didn't fuck any zebras.
诺德斯特龙折扣店吧
Pssh! Nordstrom Rack.
不是真正的诺德斯特龙
No, real Nordstrom.
我总是在想
It's like I've always imagined
马说话会是什么样子
what a horse would look like when it talks,
现在我知道了
and now I know.
你们为什么老是欺负斯♥诺♥格拉斯小姐
Why don't you guys stop trying to bully Miss Snodgrass?
她写了本书这是很棒的事情
She wrote a book. That's a pretty cool thing to do.
比你们这群呆逼厉害多了
It's probably more than you nerds have done.
我们只是在开玩笑
Hey, we're just having a good time.
这很刻薄比尔
It was mean, Bill.
别让这些白♥痴♥毁了你的心情好吗
Don't let these idiots get into your head, all right?
这俩人都是傻♥逼♥
Both these two fuckers.
稍等
Hold up for a second.
喂
Hello?
喂珍妮
Janelle? Hello?
尼尔
Neal?
抱歉珍妮的手♥机♥在我这里
Hey, sorry, I have Janelle's phone.
应该是不小心拨了你的号♥
I must have butt-dialed you on accident.
你们在比赛吗
Are you guys at the race?
对珍妮刚刚完爆全场
Yes! Janelle made the final heat!
有什么大不了我知道你打来是想让我难过
Big whoop. I know you just called to make me sad,
但我告诉你去你♥妈♥的♥
but guess what? Fuck you.
我一点也不难过
Because I'm not sad.
这是我经历过最棒的一次教师活动日
It's the best teacher workday I've ever had before
大家都觉得我的笑话很好笑
and everyone's laughing at my jokes.
-就这样 -好了
- So there. - Okay.
-再见 -尼尔我得...
- Enough. - Listen, Neal, I gotta--
失陪了
If you'll excuse me.
尼尔
Neal.
尴尬咯
Awkward!
闭嘴马脸女
Oh, shut up, horse face.
布朗博士
Dr. Brown?
你好甘比先生
Hello, Mr. Gamby.
你跟踪我吗
Did you follow me here?
不是我只是在巡逻...
No, I was just-- just doing a patrol of--
我只想一个人静静
I just needed a place to think.
看来这里是学生们抽烟的地方
Looks like this is where the kids come to smoke.
也是
Figures.
我连自己家庭都管不好
I couldn't control my own family.
怎么能管好这所学校
Why would I be able to control my school?
你是因为那个黑老哥心烦吗
Are you upset about that black gentleman?
他就是个满嘴谎言出轨成性的混♥蛋♥
He's a lying, cheatin' piece of shit.
我就不该跟他结婚
Never should have married that man.
你们怎么了
What happened with you two?
他跟一个夜店舞♥女♥做♥爱♥时
I caught his ass, butt-naked in the bed
被我捉奸在床
with a dancer from Club Risqué.
我儿子也在场
My son saw the whole thing.
他们的爸爸从别人屁♥眼♥里拔屌♥而出
Their daddy pulling out of this nasty-ass ho.
硕大而湿漉漉的鸡♥巴♥
Dick all big and wet,
像个法式蘸汁三明治
like a damn French-dip sandwich.
我知道得带我的儿子们离开那里
I knew I had to get my boys out of that town.
但他总是想把孩子们带回去
But he just won't quit trying to get his kids back.
其实我能理解他
Well, that-- that I can understand.
你还觉得他有理了
Oh, you defendin' his lying ass now?
不是