副校长（2016）

一共有四件
There are four pieces.
这周就是冬季音乐会了
Winter Concert is this week.
毫无疑问 布朗肯定会
And of course, Brown is relying on me
把一切事情都推到我身上
to practically run the whole thing.
所以你才替她取干洗衣服
Is that why you're picking up her dry cleaning?
我负责的事可多了去了
I'm in charge of more than just this.
我是有实权的 你懂的 克里斯汀
I have real responsibilities. You know that, Christine.
你少插嘴
You mind your own fuckin' business.
这难道不是助理的活吗
Isn't this her assistant's job?
我这是当好人
It's called being a good person.
也许你该跟我学学...
Maybe you should try it sometimes...
...别整天拍医生的马屁
...instead of kissing doctors' asses all day.
医院打来的 在外面等你
It's the hospital. Meet me outside.
娘炮
Bitch boy.
闭上你的臭嘴
Not another fucking word out of you.
娘炮 娘炮 娘炮
Bitch boy, bitch boy, bitch boy...
刷这张卡就好 谢谢
Uh, can you please just put this on debit, please?
-娘炮 -她在喊你什么 沙滩男孩
- Bitch boy! - What's she calling you? "Beach boy"?
没什么 请把收据给我好吗
Nothing! Can I please get a receipt, please?
娘炮
Bitchy boy!
娘炮 娘炮 娘炮
Bitch boy, bitch boy, bitch boy!
娘炮 娘炮 娘炮
Bitch boy, bitch boy! Bitchy boy!
副校长
第一季第八集
你知道鲨鱼怎么繁殖后代吗
You know how sharks make babies?
它们咻咻咻地喷水
They spray the water like, skeet, skeet, skeet!
-对 咻咻咻 -玩疯了
- Yes! Skeet, skeet, skeet! - Y'all is crazy.
我真是太开心了 贝琳达
You know, I'm happy as shit, Belinda.
谢谢你
Thank you.
孩子们确实很想你
Well, the boys sure did miss you.
真希望能回到一年前
Wish I could turn the clock back a year,
那时候我们还是一家人
to when shit was like this for real.
我有很多愿望
Well, I wish a lot of things.
可有时候我们只能走一步看一步
Sometimes we take what we can get.
你真的要装作很不开心的样子吗
You honestly gonna act like you ain't having fun?
有我 有孩子们 有鱼鱼
Me, the boys, fish.
我稍微有点开心了
I'm having a little bit of fun.
冬季音乐会 门票热销中
你居然提议去校车里来一炮
I can't believe you let me fuck you in a bus.
你知道我们要是被发现了会有什么下场吗
Can you imagine if we got caught doing that?
我们会丢掉工作的
We'd lose our jobs.
-混♥蛋♥ -...不用害怕
- Motherfucker. - ...you'd better play it cool then.
-我才没害怕 -甘比先生 终于找到你了
- You better play it cool. - Mr. Gamby! There you are.
我到处在找你
I've been looking everywhere for you.
礼堂里出事了
We have a Code 13 in the auditorium!
大早上的能出什么事
Who the hell Code-13s at ten o'clock in the morning?
斯特罗姆博恩 快点下来
Strombone! Get down from there, right now!
-天啊 -这是怎么回事
- Jesus! - How the hell did this happen?
那群人 全都喝醉了
The whole group of 'em, right there, is drunk!
嘿 蠢蛋们 我没看出有什么好笑的
Hey, idiots! I fail to see what's funny here.
别咧嘴笑了
I don't want to see anyone's goddamn teeth.
懂吗 闭嘴 闭严实了
You understand? Zip the lips, purse them now.
-天啊 -我♥操♥ 这下好了
- Oh, my God! - Holy shit. Great.
让你们乐队排练的时候喝酒
This is why you don't drink Icehouse at band practice.
希望你们为自己的行为感到骄傲
Hope you all are proud of yourselves.
杰森·斯特罗姆博恩正在急救室
Jason Strombone is in the emergency room.
都是因为你们糟糕的行为
Because of your poor choices,
你们都不能参加冬季音乐会
none of you will be participating in the Winter Concert.
我是领队 我祖父母还要从外地赶来
I'm first chair. My grandparents are coming in from out of town.
甘比先生已经对你们很宽容了
Mr. Gamby's going easy on you.
如果是我 我就把你们全都开除
If it were up to me, I'd kick all of y'all out of school.
我绝不允许酗酒
I have zero tolerance for drinking.
知道我为什么把添加利酒瓶刺到背上吗
You know why I got that Tanqueray tattooed on my back?
因为你喜欢喝金酒
Because you like gin?
不 因为我和金酒不共戴天
No. Because me and gin don't get along.
我13岁时第一次喝 就出了事
I had a problem since my first sip at 13.
一发不可收拾 让我彻底变了个人
Kept sipping too. Made me a whole different person.
这东西让我暴躁不安
Shit got me turked up!
把我变成了野兽
Put me in beast mode.
周五晚上在费城喝了酒
Take a sip Friday evening in Philly,
周一醒来时却在阿肯色州
I'd wake up Monday morning in Arkansas,
被虫子咬了一身包
all bit up by chiggers,
完全不记得自己怎么到了那里
no-- no memory of how I got there.
但谢天谢地
But thankfully,
我的生活发生了积极的转变
my life took a positive turn
老天保佑我生下了两个好儿子
and I was blessed with two fine sons.
我想那让我意识到了我所拥有的有多可贵
And I guess that made me realize what I had to lose.
小丫头 这就是为什么我会有那种纹身
And that, Miss Missy, is why I put that tattoo on my back.
因为我已经把酗酒的日子抛诸身后了
Because the drinking, that's behind me now.
我希望你们也都能抛诸后 明白了吗
And I want y'all to put it behind y'all too. Am I clear?
校内禁闭一周
One week, ISS circle.
不准参加冬季音乐会
No Winter Concert,
另外 理所当然地
and, of course,
我会通知你们所有人的家长
all of y'all parents are gonna hear from me.
我对刚才的介入表示抱歉 甘比先生
I'm sorry for interfering back there, Mr. Gamby.
我只是对这件事有很强的感触
I just have strong opinions on the matter.
不 不必担心 谢谢你
No, no, no worries. Uh, I appreciate it.
你用自己过去的挣扎引起共鸣
I... I respected the fact that you related it
让我心生敬意 做得好
to your own struggles. Kudrows.
甘比先生
Mr. Gamby?
如果让你独自做副校长 你意下如何
How would you like to be vice principal, by yourself?
我们可以为你设立一个首席问责官的职位
We'd create the position Chief Accountability Officer for you.
你的薪水也会大幅上涨
You'd receive a substantial increase in salary as well.
我们会以平等的身份管理北杰克逊高中
We'd run North Jackson High School as equals.
那罗素先生呢
What about Mr. Russell?
据我所知 你们两个不和已久
From what I hear, you two don't get along already.
他走人你一点都不会难过 不是吗
You wouldn't shed a tear if he was gone, now would you?
不会 我一点也不在乎那个男人...
No. I mean, I don't care for that man one bit, so...
那货真的啥也不是
That man ain't even a snake in the grass.
就是烂泥里的蛆 看他那熊样
Damn worm in the dirt. Look at him.
贝宝 我给你买♥♥了咖啡
Hey, B! I got your, uh, your coffee
还有...闪开...还有你的干洗衣物
and your...move...and your dry cleaning.
都放到我办公室去吧
Just go put 'em in my office.
-贱♥人♥ -好的
- Bitch. - Okay.
-好的 -你刚刚叫他"贱♥人♥"吗
- Okay! - Did you just call him a bitch?
贱♥人♥的举止 贱♥人♥的步伐
He act like a bitch, walk like a bitch.
是啊 看看他那条裤子
Mm. Yeah, look at his pants.
-贱♥人♥ -我永远不会穿那种裤子
- Bitch. - I'd never wear pants like that.
你最好别穿 不然我也叫你贱♥人♥
You better not. I'd call you a bitch.
她是怎么说我的 满嘴喷粪来着吧
So what did she say about me? She talk shit?
没有 她主要都是在谈她自己
No, she was mainly just talking about herself, you know?
不过是自吹自擂 自卖♥♥自夸
Just being boastful, cocky, braggadocious,
狂妄自大 那是啥
you know, just showing hubris. What's that?
这他♥娘♥的♥是支间谍笔
It's a fucking spy pen is what it is.
看见这里没有 这里面有个小摄像机
You see this right here? There's a little camera inside there.
下次她张嘴喷粪的时候
Next time she starts running her mouth, talking shit,
我就全录下来
I'm gonna get it all on video,
发到网上去
publish it online,
让公众舆♥论♥骂死她
let the court of public opinion do the rest.
我天 听听你都在说啥 什么间谍笔
Jeez, man, listen to yourself, talking about spy pens
和公众舆♥论♥
and court of public opinion.
你这样太扯了 罗素
I mean, you're grasping at straws, Russell.
你这样太贱了
You're being a bitch.
我所有的希望与梦想都寄托于一只破笔
All my hopes and dreams on a fucking pen.
我只是无计可施了
I'm just at a loss here.
我们给这婆娘下的所有脚绊都没绊倒她
Every single thing we throw at this woman fails.
我家人弱智兮兮
My fucking family is retarded.
布朗把我当家奴使唤 我实在
Brown treats me like a house slave. I just --
我实在无法忍♥受自己的处境了
I just can't exist like this.
罗素 你在哭吗
Russell, are you crying?
没有 我他妈才没哭
No! I'm not fucking crying.