我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S04E12

Part 4 March 2, 2023, 9:36 a.m.

要不然我♥干♥嘛邀请他来唱歌♥？我知道他的作风
Why do you think I asked him to sing? I know his brand.
我以为他会从一个
I thought maybe
巨大的口袋披萨跳出来让我活过来
he'd jump out of the giant calzone and... and bring me back to life
就像玛丹娜在《宛如祈祷者》MV 让那个火♥辣♥的雕像活过来一样
like Madonna did with that hot statue in "Like a Prayer."
那是肉吗？
Is that meat?
泰坦斯
On that boat,
在游艇上说过：他为了赢回我什么都愿意做
Titus said he would do whatever it took to win me back.
但是他一直以来什么都没做
But then he never did anything!
拜托他做了超多事的
Bitch, he did so many things!
他为了讨好你瞎掰出披风侠
He made up The Capist to impress you.
他为了让你吃醋才跟那个有名的直男约会
He dated that straight famous guy just to make you jealous.
他学会怎么用榔头就只是为了花时间陪你
He learned about hammers just to spend time with you.
我怎么会知道那一切我是麦奇啊
How was I supposed to know any of that? I'm Mikey!
你到底想不想跟泰坦斯在一起？
Well, do you wanna be with Titus or not?
事情很复杂
It's complicated.
我爸妈真的很喜欢安德鲁
My parents really like Andrew!
我们为了弄来250个羊头欠了很多人情而且我只…
And we called in a lot of favors to get 250 lamb heads, and I just...
听好我搞不懂两个男人之间的关系
Lookit, I don't understand how any of this works with two guys.
像是谁开车？
Like, who drives?
-没说要坐副驾的人开车 -可是我知道
- Whoever doesn't call shotgun. - But I do know
你们其中一个人现在必须当一个女人
one of you needs to be the woman right now
真心地面对你们的感情
and actually deal with your emotions.
麦奇
Mikey!
趁阿嬷被塞回行李箱之前
Come take a picture with Pupazza
过来跟她拍张照片
before she has to go back in her suitcase.
你已经吃了你的口袋巾
You ate your pocket square already!
因为我很紧张嘛
From 'cause I got the jitters!
看来我赢了
Looks like I won.
噢杰奎琳这太可悲了
Oh, Jacqueline, this is sad.
而且我还见识过只有我一个人参加佛朗帕斯先生的葬礼呢
And I was the only person who showed up at Mr. Frumpus' funeral.
我差点就不想要把你赶走
I almost hate to kick you out of here.
什么？
What?
我刚刚签了这个地方的租约
I just signed a lease on the place.
我们需要一个地方让女经纪人生完小孩以后躲起来
We need somewhere to hide our female agents after they give birth...
直到她们恢复苗条身材
just until things get tight!
你知道吗？尽管毁了我的人生吧
You know what? Go ahead. Destroy my life,
因为我永远都不会跟你上♥床♥
'cause I'm never gonna sleep with you.
什么？
What?
杰奎琳…
Jacqueline.
我可能会混着嗑安♥眠♥药♥和古♥柯♥碱…那叫做群魔乱舞
I may mix Ambien and cocaine... that's called "ghost spazzing"...
但是我从来不会把工作和休闲娱乐混在一起
but I never mix business and pleasure.
噢真的吗？
Oh, really?
“杰奎琳如果你陪我吃晚饭我就会罢手
"Jacqueline, I'll stop if you go to dinner with me."
我们在一起会很棒我要你在我底下”
"We could be great together." "I want you under me"?
噢那是关于工作的事
Whoa, whoa, that was about business.
我想请你一边吃晚饭
I wanted to take you to dinner to discuss
一边讨论我们一起合作会多棒
how great we would be together
如果你在环球菁英国际经纪公♥司♥…
if you worked at UTI
当一个初级经纪人你就会… 在我的底下工作
as a junior agent, so... under me.
你想要雇用我？
You wanna hire me?
我在演艺圈混很久了
I've been in this business since Billy Crystal
自从比利克里斯托在奥斯卡奖上涂黑脸扮黑人开始
was doing blackface at the Oscars...
几乎有五年半了
almost five and a half years...
我从来没遇过像你这样的人
and I've never met anybody like you.
噢是啊
Oh, sure.
这都是因为你太尊重我了
This is all because you respect me so much.
我知道像你这样的男人
I know guys like you.
你们永远不会平等对待我
You could never see me as an equal.
-杰奎琳… -你们只会把我视为一个物品
- Jacqueline... - You only see me as an object.
我根本就看不到你因为我瞎了好吗？
I don't see you at all because I'm blind, okay?
我是个瞎子
I'm blind!
什么？
What, now?
我没告诉过任何人因为
I don't tell people because
在演艺圈形象就是一切
in this business, image is everything,
我看不到一样东西：一切
and that's the one thing I can't see: everything.
可是你看起来不像瞎子
But you don't act blind.
你知道我没有任何家具怎么会？
You knew I had no furniture. How?
凭着自信
Confidence.
还有我驾驭了回声定位的能力
And also, I've mastered the art of echolocation.
杰奎琳你的家具都在哪儿？
Jacqueline, where's all your furniture?
敲敲门派对动物
Knock, knock, party people.
看来我赢了
Looks like I won.
所以你…看不到我？
So you... can't see me?
没错我不知道你长什么样子
No, I have no idea what you look like.
我也不在乎你长得…
And I don't care if you're...
巨大、扁平和粉刷过
... huge and flat and painted.
-那是墙壁 -我不在乎…
- That's the wall. - Well, I don't care.
因为你是一个非比寻常和聪明绝顶的女人
Because you're an amazing and brilliant woman.
好吧
Okay.
没错我猜我是喜欢你
Yeah, I guess I am attracted to you.
也许我一直来这儿的真正原因是
Maybe the real reason I kept coming over here is...
我可以发出答答声和闻你
... just so I could click and smell you.
我看不到这张脸并不重要
It doesn't matter that I can't see this face.
对不起你比我想像的更高
- Um... - I'm sorry, you're taller than I thought.
我不必看到你就知道
I don't need to see you
你很美丽杰奎琳怀特
to know that you're beautiful, Jacqueline White.
我的天啊有人把一只鼻涕虫丢进我的嘴巴
Oh, my God! Someone just threw a slug in my mouth!
谁会做这种事啊？
Who would do that?
我刚才在跟你接吻伊莱
I was kissing you, Eli!
Oh.
那就再把那只鼻涕虫丢进来吧辣妹
Well, then throw that slug back in here, girl.
金咪猜怎么着？
Kimmy, guess what.
今天进行彩排的时候音乐总监说我是她听过
Today at rehearsal, the musical director said I was
歌♥声最悦耳的歌♥手而且也是最夸张的舞者
the smoothest singer she'd ever heard and the loudest dancer.
我的经纪人也送了花给我
And my agent sent me flowers.
麦奇…
Well, Mikey was...
对于你不能去婚礼一点都不在乎
totes cool about you missing the wedding.
对了麦奇
Right. Mikey.
我猜我很高兴我没去让自己出大糗
I guess I am glad I didn't go and make a fool of myself.
我听说丹尼艾罗的小狗也会去
I heard that Danny Aiello's dog was gonna be there.
我以你为荣泰坦斯而且你真的启发了莉莉恩
I'm proud of you, Titus. And you sure inspired Lillian.
我是说谁知道她也想要当演员？
I mean, who knew she wanted to be an actor too?
当演员？
An actor?
那太荒谬了
That's ridiculous!
不是啦她要把自己炸死
No, she's gonna blow herself up
然后当一个骚扰纽约的恶鬼
and become a ghost that haunts New York.
你说谁来着？
Wha-wha who know?
小妞我以为你早就知道了
Girl, I thought you knew.
这整个礼拜她都在讲这件事
She's been talking about it all week.
当他们炸掉那艘拖船她也要跟着一起被炸掉
When they implode the tugboat, she's gonna go down with it.
你为什么不试着阻止她？
Why haven't you tried to stop her?
因为我尊重别人的选择
'Cause I respect people's choices.
我也觉得她一定会表现得很好
And I think she'll be amazing at it.
我的天啊现在几点了？
Oh, my goodness. What time is it?
爆破什么时候开始？
What time is the 'splosion?
-半小时以后 -谢谢你半小时谢谢你半小时
- Half hour. - Thank you, half hour!
莉莉恩
Lillian!
别这么做
Don't do this!
你有好多活下来的理由
You have so much to live for!
你为什么对着一个水桶讲话？
Why the hell are you talking into a bucket?
你的声音不是应该就是那样吗？
Shouldn't your voice just do that naturally?
所以你是当鬼的专家罗
Oh, so now you're an expert on being a ghost.
你从哪儿弄来一个水桶？
Where'd you even get a bucket anyway?
我们有很多别担心
We've got plenty of buckets. Don't you worry about it.
听好你不想要当一个鬼
Look, you don't wanna be a ghost!
我当然想罗
Sure, I do.
我这些年来都像鬼一样
I've been acting like a ghost for years.
我在图书馆吓唬大家
I scare people in libraries.
我曾经砸烂雪歌♥妮薇佛的公♥寓♥
I once trashed Sigourney Weaver's apartment.
莉莉恩
- I... - Lillian.
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