我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S04E08

Part 1 Feb. 27, 2023, 9:41 a.m.

（吉时乐）
怎样吉时乐？
What up, Giztoob!
大家今晚好吗？
How's everyone doing tonight?
有人来自纽约吗？
Anyone here from New York?
酷喔
Cool. Cool.
欢迎光临吉时乐游戏公♥司♥
Well, welcome to Giztoob.
你知道当柴克告诉我吉时乐要进行“品牌重塑”
You know, when Zach told me that Giztoob was re-branding,
我就说：“哇咧幸好我不是塑胶人偶”
I said, "Yikes. Good thing I'm not a cow."
Oh!
感谢后面的观众
Thank you, my people in the back.
记得要给女服务生小费
Remember to tip your waitress.
但是千万别真的推她一把喔
But don't actually tip her.
她不是塑胶人偶刚才的笑梗
She's not a cow. Callback!
所以我们请来一名自♥由♥设计师
So we hired a freelance designer,
只是他的收费一点都不便宜
only there was nothing free about him.
噢他的名字并不是兰斯
Oh, and his name wasn't Lance.
我应该说我们请了一个很贵的乔许
I should say we hired an expensive Josh.
Hiyo!
所以偶就不再啰嗦了笑话讲三次守则
So without further "a-moo"... rule of threes...
这就是全新的吉时乐标志
... the new Giztoob logo!
Oh.
我的时间到了
Well, that's my time.
谢谢大家你们真是两千之两千的捧场
Thanks, everyone. You've been 2,000-and-great.
扔麦
Mic drop!
That's gonna be, uh...
you know, a fascinating transition.
212的电♥话♥号♥码开头？
A 212 number?
那是百老汇的电♥话♥号♥码
That's where Broadway is!
百老汇？
Broadway?
嗨这是《纽约客》的罗南法洛
Hi, this is Ronan Farrow from The New Yorker.
我在找泰坦斯安卓罗梅登
I'm trying to reach Titus Andromedon?
不谢了
No, thank you.
如果我想看这周的《纽约客》
If I wanted to read this week's New Yorker,
我就会六年后去诊所看医生
I'd just go to the doctor six years from now.
其实我是为了我正在写的一篇报导打给你
I'm actually calling about a story I'm working on.
你去年曾经为佛朗帕斯先生试镜
I believe you auditioned for Mr. Frumpus last year
原因是“为了把麦奇抢回来”
"in an effort to get Mikey back"?
我希望能和你谈谈那次的试镜过程
I was hoping we could talk about your meeting.
不
No!
泰坦斯来嘛别急着走嘛
Titus! Come on, be cool, man.
佛先生只是有点老派
Mr. F's just a little old-fashioned.
我不会碰你你可以只看我洗澡
I won't touch you. You can just watch me take a shower.
怎么了？你不能接受赞美吗？
What's the matter? Can't you take a compliment?
贱♥货♥
Bitch!
你知道我参加过很多试镜
You know, I go on lots of auditions.
我看过你去年的作品
I'm looking at your credits from the past year,
看起来你并没有参加过很多试镜
and it doesn't appear that you do.
算你行
Hmm. Tooshe.
听好安卓罗梅登先生
Look, Mr. Andromedon,
有很多关于佛朗帕斯先生
there are a lot of rumors out there
和他“试镜过程”的谣言
about Mr. Frumpus and his "audition process."
我只需要有人公开承认那件事
I just need someone to go on the record.
你要下去吗？
Going down?
怎么会发生这种事？
Whoops! How'd that happen?
没有什么都没发生
Nothing! Nothing happened!
我有另一个人在另一条线上
You know, I have someone on the other line.
你问是谁？
Who, you ask?
那是…
It's...
罗…
Row...
南
nun...
法…
Fair...
洛
row.
罗南法洛再见
Row-nun Fair-row. Good-bye!
Uh...
很棒的派对阿金
Great party, Kims.
白人女孩喝茫了
White girl wasted!
乔许来了
Ugh, here comes Josh.
他真的很扫兴耶
He's such a buzzkill.
你知道他对虾子和花生过敏吗？
Did you know he's allergic to shrimp and peanuts?
他就是我们不再举♥行♥虾子和花生周五趴的原因
He's why we stopped doing Shrimp and Peanut Fridays.
随便啦他煞到你或是他想要把你
Whatever. He's into you, or he wants to be.
重新开机
Uh-oh! Rebooting!
嘿金咪我只想谢谢你向我致意
Hey, Kimmy. Just wanted to thank you for the shout-out.
-那真的是… -噢她在那儿
- That was really... - Oh, there she is!
噢这一个
Oh, this one!
希望我们没有打扰你们
Hope we're not interrupting.
我是戴夫霍夫曼这是我太太珍妮丝
Dave Hoffman. This is my wife, Janice.
我们是乔乔的父母
We are Joshy's parents!
真的吗？很高兴认识…
Really? It is so nice to...
抱歉我喜欢抱抱
Sorry, I'm a hugger.
吉时乐有条规定…
Oh, Giztoob has a policy...
你抱得很好珍妮丝
That's a good hug, Janice.
你的演讲超好笑的
Your speech was hilarious.
那你们想听关于纸的笑话吗？
Say, wanna hear a joke about paper?
算了反正很“撕”败
Never mind. It's "tear-ible."
那可以有很多种意“撕”
That works on so many levels!
我爸妈坚持要来参加派对
So yeah, my parents insisted on coming to this.
真好玩
Fun for me.
那是一定的我妈从来没参加过我的活动
I bet. My mom never came to any of my stuff.
不对她来看过我的足球比赛不过那是因为
No, she came to one of my soccer games but only 'cause she got caught
她前一晚被球网绊住那家伙就把她留在那儿
in the net the night before and the guy just left her there.
我知道我们的关心把乔许逼疯…
I know all our attention drives Josh crazy.
他才是疯子
He's the crazy one!
但是我永远不会看厌我的小宝贝长大后振翅高飞
But I will never get tired of watching my little baby flap his wings.
幸好
Luckily,
他还没有飞离鸟巢对吧乔乔？
he still hasn't flown away from the nest. Right, Joshy?
没错我还跟我爸妈一起住
Nope. Still live with my parents.
嫉妒吗？
Jealous?
对超嫉妒的
Yes. Very.
一定是全天候不间断的拥抱
Must be a 24-7 hugfest.
金咪我今晚有些计划落空
So, Kimmy, I, uh, had some plans fall through tonight,
我不知道耶我猜经过这件事你一定没兴趣…
and, I don't know, I'm sure after this, you'd have no interest...
我很想要跟你们一起出去只有你啦
I'd love to go out with you guys! Guy.
我很想跟你一起出去你这家伙
I'd love to go out with you, guy.
他们正准备重拍《双面情人》
A Sliding Doors reboot is in the works
（影剧快报，乔治乔吉里欧）
原来的演员都将回归…
with much of the original cast...
红发妞
Hey, Red.
你穿得这么骚干嘛？
What are you all slutted up for?
什么？谁？金咪？
What? Who? Kimmy?
拜托你扎了性感发圈擦了闪闪发亮的护唇膏
Please. Your sexy scrunchie, your sparkle lip balm.
你要去见的家伙是谁？
Who's the guy?
他叫乔许但是
His name's Josh, but...
我其实是希望他只会带我回他家去见他的爸妈
I'm really hoping he just takes me home to his parents.
我们以前都把这种事称为魔鬼4P
That's what we used to call the Devil's Four-way.
我根本就不想告诉你们我在烦恼什么
I don't even want to tell you what's bothering me
因为我已经知道你们会说什么
because I already know what each of you is going to say.
“做出正确的事泰坦斯
"Do the right thing, Titus.
我的袜子上面有小兔子图案地下碉堡”
My socks have bunnies on them. The bunker!"
"Oy,
“什么都别做泰坦斯
don't do anything, Titus.
抓耙子会死得很惨郭德华是个老同志
Snitches get stitches. Ed Koch wasn't all gay.
我敢挂保证”
I can tell ya."
他模仿我们超像的
Oh! He nailed us.
去啦泰坦斯这是宣传你自己的大好机会
Come on, Titus. It'd be an opportunity to talk about yourself.
佛朗帕斯先生干的丑事被踢爆
The Mr. Frumpus stuff is coming out.
-他们要我去接受访问 -佛朗帕斯先生？那个布偶？
- They want me to do an interview. - Mr. Frumpus? The puppet?
去年我替他试镜然后…
Last year, I auditioned for him, and...
他对你性骚扰对吧？
He made a move, didn't he?
我不敢相信那个混♥蛋♥还在干这种事
I-I can't believe that son of a bitch is still at it.
罗伦1976年上过《芝麻街》
Roland was on Sesame Street in 1976,
事情有点奇怪
and things got weird.
跟你一起玩音乐真的很好玩佛朗帕斯先生
It sure was fun making music with you, Mr. Frumpus.
你真的很会拍打贝斯罗伦
You can really slap that bass, Roland.
卡