我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S04E07

Part 1 Feb. 27, 2023, 9:41 a.m.

（魔术男孩）
魔术魔术男孩
♪ Magic, magic boy ♪
纽约魔术男孩
♪ New York magic boy ♪
（泰坦斯领衔主演）
这是一个像1990年代的世界
♪ It's a '90s kind of world ♪
每一个人都是同性恋
♪ And everyone is gay ♪
（不是泰坦斯主演）
我说泰坦斯你别说话
When I say "Titus," you say nothing!
（不是泰坦斯）
泰坦斯绕舌给它催落去
Titus, Titus! Titus, rap breakdown!
（特别介绍：不是泰坦斯）
就算你拼了老命
♪ Try as hard as you mightus ♪
把视线离开泰坦斯
♪ To keep your eyes off Titus ♪
他的前途还是一片光明
♪ His future as bright ♪
发光发热就像一盏明灯
♪ As something bright, like a light-us ♪
（特别介绍：也是泰坦斯）
♪ Boop, boop, ah ♪
（原创者：泰坦斯）
♪ Alakazam ♪
《魔术男孩》在一只现场老鼠面前录制
"Magic Boy" is filmed in front of a live rat.
（免费咖啡与茶）
（仅限顾客取用）
Mmm.
没错我有一辆车子
Yep, I am a car owner.
Beep, beep! Vroom, vroom!
诸如此类
Et cetera.
Ooh.
看来有人喜欢的男人就像我喜欢的咖啡一样
Looks like somebody likes their men the way I like my coffee:
焦焦黑黑又水水的而且在洗车场
burnt, watery, and in a car wash.
Oops!
我猜我得弯下身来然后…
Guess I'll have to bend over, and, uh...
把它留在地上
Leave them there.
你
You!
你不能一直来这里
You can't keep coming in here!
咖啡仅限顾客取用
Coffee is for customers only.
我知道你没有车子
I know you don't have a car.
你真会开我的玩笑鳄鱼先生
Oh, we do have our fun, Crocodile!
这不是我的名牌
This isn't a name tag.
你得马上给我走
You need to leave now.
太好了
Oh! Good.
我的马自达米亚坦洗干净了
My Mazda Miatus is clean?
鳄先生你是这行业最棒的
Croc, you are the best in the biz.
Bleep-bloop!
（《葛里姆拉斯传奇》 KC施密特著）
太好了我找到我想要的书
Oh! Good! I found the book I wanted.
（《大便不是食物，苏西》）
没错我就是得看这本书
Yup, this is what I need to read!
走吧
Come on.
任务“把书偷藏在书店
Operation "Sneak Book Into Bookstore
好让男孩们找得到长大以后不会是变♥态♥…”达成
So Boys Can Find It and Not Grow Up to Be Creeps" accomplished.
拍谢假的唐娜玛丽亚
Oh! Sorry, fake Donna Maria.
假的唐娜玛丽亚？
Fake Donna Maria?
真的唐娜玛丽亚？
Real Donna Maria?
“那是三样‘工作上分心的事’
"Those are the three biz-stractions
每个领导者都必须避免…”
that every team leader needs to avoid:
“… 信徒、傻妞和红发妞
the Believer, the Simpleton, and the Red Hair.
（《把白色噪音消音》）
如果你能够把白色噪音消音
If you can tune out the white noise,
就会迈向成功之路”
you'll be on your way to success."
“S”是金钱符号♥
The S's are dollar signs.
是的签名请写给 “伊卡博德M金咪”
Yes, make it out to Ichabod M. Kimmy.
也就是“我是金咪”
That's I M Kimmy.
金咪哇太好了
Kimmy. Wow! Great.
我正要打给你
I was just about to... call you.
汤玛西
Tomothy,
我刚才是不是说我得打给金咪？
wasn't I just saying I have to call Kimmy?
真两秒前
Lit two secs ag'.
“真的是两秒钟之前” 没有人懂我
"Literally two seconds ago"? No one deserves me.
唐娜玛丽亚好久不见自从…
Donna Maria, I haven't seen you since...
做梦见到算不算？你在梦中是只蜥蜴但…
well, does a dream count? You were a lizard.
我们自从审判之后就没再见过面
We haven't seen each other since the trial.
真的吗？
Really?
这样的话我们就有好多事要说
Well, then, we have a lot to catch up on!
你看过现在的早餐谷类种类吗？
Have you seen cereals these days?
-小朋友要怎么挑选呀？ -其实我今晚就要走
- How do kids even choose? - Actually, I'm leaving tonight.
你下一场新书朗读会结束后午餐有空档
But you do have lunch free after your next reading,
虽然你才刚狂吞了两个星巴马芬蛋糕
even though you just housed two Starby's muffins.
谢谢你汤玛西
Thank you, Tomothy.
我要用同样口气说不客气
Same tone, you're welcome.
老天爷
Jesus!
把你的手♥机♥号♥码给汤玛西
Uh, give Tomothy your number,
他会告诉你去哪儿见我
and he'll tell you where to meet me.
赞喔吃午餐耶
Oh, boy, lunch!
结合了“让我们”和“狂吃”两个字
A combination of "let's" and "munch"!
来吧
Ugh. Come on.
那个红发妞
The Red Hair!
不好意思…
Excuse me.
我没时间关心环保
No, I don't have a minute for the environment,
我不喜欢喜剧我也不投票
I don't like comedy, and I do not vote.
不我只是想说你是个美女
Uh, no, I was just gonna say you're a very beautiful woman.
希望你不介意我这么说
I hope it's okay for me to say that.
我并不想当一个变♥态♥狂什么的
I'm not trying to be a creep or anything.
如果你是的话你就很失败
Well, if you were, you'd be failing.
我会在你的变♥态♥狂考卷上写 “不及格来见我”
I'd write "D-minus, see me" on your creep quiz,
然后我会指定你读更多书
and then I would assign
好让你跟你的同学一起毕业
additional reading so you could graduate on time with your peers.
我是杰奎琳
I'm Jacqueline.
杰奎琳
Jacqueline.
我是麦特
I'm Matt.
我知道这很直接了当
And I know this is forward,
但你想找一天跟我约会吗？
but would you maybe wanna get together sometime?
主荧幕上面的小子只是我的…
That kid on the home screen is just my...
我的哥哥巴克里
older brother Buckley.
我会打给你
I'll call you.
好好享受美景
Enjoy the view.
Ooh...
就连一堆鸡骨头都无法抗拒我的魅力
ooh, even a bunch of old chicken bones can't resist me.
天啊这里面有蚂蚁
Oh, God, there's ants in there.
全都是蚂蚁到处都是
It's full of ants. They're everywhere!
-快把鞋子脱掉 -它们在咬我麦特
- Just leave the shoe! - They're biting, Matt!
That's gonna be, uh...
you know, a fascinating transition.
这是公认的事实
It's official!
-我是个名人 -我不会说你是名人啦…
- I'm a celebrity! - I wouldn't call you a "celebrity."
你饰演夜魔侠的门房♥
You played the Daredevil's doorman.
（辛蒂罗波仍然逍遥法外）
也只演了一集而已
You were only on one episode.
晚上好梅铎先生
Evenin', Mr. Murdock.
没人来领♥取♥包裹谢谢你佩卓
No one came for that FedEx. Thank you, Pedro.
我不小心连他的台词都说了
I accidentally said his line too.
现在我超有名的
And I am so famous!
我在我常去的咖啡馆被认出来
I was recognized at my coffee place.
你是说洗车场吧？
You mean the car wash.
在我常去的咖啡馆
And the guy who recognized me at my coffee place...
认出我的家伙是个肌肉猛♥男♥
was a muscle daddy.
帅度十分而且这次是一个人就得满分
A straight-up ten all by himself this time.
不再是凑成三个三分再加一个一分
No more cobbling together three threes and a one.
大家好你们这群美丽的动物
Hello, you beautiful creatures.
漫威影业把你告上法庭要求你把门房♥的戏服还回去
Marvel Studios is suing you for the return of the doorman costume.
想都别想
Never!
我需要那些肩章
I need the epaulets...
搞不好哈利王子会邀请我们到他的城♥堡♥
in case Prince Harry invites us to his castle.
我要说最后一次红发的人不是全都互相认识
For the last time, redheads don't all know each other.
那我怎么会认识梅根马克尔？
Then why do I know Meghan Markle?
你是从电视上认识她的
You know her from the TV!
我的心情会这么好是因为
Well, the reason I'm in such a good mood
我被一个千禧世代小帅哥搭讪
is that I was hit on by a millennial.
他的名字是麦特
His name is Matt,
他替我被蚂蚁咬的地方搽药膏
and he put ointment on my ant bites.
你们俩老是以为大家都哈你们
You two, thinking everyone's into you.
你们怎么知道那些男人不是喜真友？
How do you know those guys aren't just DTF?
“喜欢真正的友情”