我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S04E04

Part 4 Feb. 22, 2023, 11:35 a.m.

我也很认真地考虑要看看
and I'm seriously thinking about looking.
很好酷哟乔可
Nerm, okay, cool, Jocko.
那是我的客户
- That's my client. - Nyerm.
你为什么在这里？只有学生才能参加
Why are you here? This is for students.
Hmm.
（私人活动）
我是来参加团体聚会的
I'm here for the group thing.
莉莉恩对吧？
- Lillian, right? - Mm-hmm.
-跟我来 -各位先生女士
- Follow me. - Ladies and gentlemen,
请热烈欢迎莉莉恩考西塔波
get excited for Lillian Kaushtupper.
她来了
Here she comes.
我的老天爷
Oh! For the love of Pete.
（未来大会主题：捣乱现状）
这场大会是关于哔哔响和嘎嘎声的科技？
This is all about... bleep-bloops and zeep-zorps?
她怀抱着梦想和一根焊枪从她爸妈的车♥库♥…
From her parents' garage, with just a dream and a soldering iron...
我没跟你讲到这一部份
Uh, I did not tell you that part.
成为大规模人工智慧诊断工具的先驱
... to leading the way in L.A.I.D.,
莉莉恩数十年来一直在捣乱现状
Lillian has been disrupting the paradigm for decades.
在这个缺乏创意的世界她极力倡导创意优先
You know, in a world of in-no-vation, she is all about in-yes-vation.
够了别再说下去了！
Okay, stop it. Stop all of this!
我被请来分享我的经验所以听好了
I have been asked to share my experience, so listen up.
我搞不懂我是说你们怎么能处于性能力颠峰
I don't get it. I mean, how can you come here
而且背还是好好的成天都在讲电脑的事呢？
in your sexual primes, with your functioning backs, and spend all day talking about computers?
你们根本都没有在看着彼此
You're not even making eye contact,
更别说看别的地方了
to say nothing of the other parts!
你们这些阿宅也许不擅于交际不过你们也是人
You nerds, you... you may be socially awkward, but... you're human!
Ow!
我还没破处的小♥弟♥弟♥！
My virgin wiener!
不够了
No. Stop.
别再继续下去！
Stop all of this!
你们这些阿宅也许不擅于交际不过你们也是人
You nerds may be socially awkward, but you're human.
我的20块钱佣金就这样飞了我本来可以搭计程车回家的
There goes my $20 commission. I was gonna be able to take a cab home.
你们高谈什么捣乱现状但是你们只会坐着什么都不做
You all... you talk about disrupting, but you just sit here doing nothing!
你们在匹兹堡耶
You're in Pittsburgh,
把薯条夹进三明治的城市
the city that put French fries in a sandwich,
所以别告诉我你们没有一只闲出来的手
so don't tell me you don't have a free hand.
拜托你们往旁边看看
And look around you for once.
你们的四周都是跟你们一样的人
You are surrounded by your own kind!
这地方应该像是奥林匹克选手村
Oh, this place should be like... the Olympic Village or...
或是拍摄《绿野仙踪》期间小矮人住的帐棚
the munchkin tent during the filming of The Wizard of Oz.
看看那家伙没错他懂了
Ooh! Look at that guy. Yeah. He gets it.
我是个宅男好吧
I'm a nerd. Fine.
但那不代表我也不能是个猛♥男♥
But that doesn't mean I'm not also a jock.
好样的兄弟
Ooh! Nice, bro.
猜怎么着？
And guess what.
我也跟这个小朋友一样是个男同志
I'm also gay. Like this kid.
没错我是个男同志我也很骄…
That's right. I'm gay, and I'm pro...
好了谢谢你情绪小子
Okay, thank you, Mood.
但是我的重点是你们同时可以是不同的人
But my point is, you can be many things all at once.
你们可以是一个宅男、一个猛♥男♥ 也许你们受到诅咒
You can be a nerd, a jock, and maybe you're also cursed with
拥有绝对音感
♪ Perfect pitch ♪
你们这群呆瓜就像是机器
You dummies... like machines.
让我告诉你们三个美妙的机器
Let me tell you about three... beautiful machines.
第一：人的嘴巴
One: the human mouth.
第二：人的双手
Two: the human hands.
第三：人的下半身
Three: the human lower half.
这是三个伟大的工程杰作
Three great feats of engineering.
但是猜怎么着它们都在同一个身体上面
And guess what. They are all on one body:
你们的身体！
yours!
不！
No!
别跟那个家伙走！
Don't go with that guy!
因为…
Because... because...
他还在用你们阿嬷那年代的介面
he has your grandma's interface!
他还有Hotmail帐号♥
He has a Hotmail account!
Hotmail？
Hotmail?
他还叫我打电♥话♥给他好像现在还是1998年一样
And he told me to call him, like this is 1998 or something.
噢丹福 “捣乱”到底是什么意思？
Oh, and, Danford... what exactly does "disruption" mean?
当然是捣乱现状罗
Well, uh, there's the... the paradigm, um, of course.
你们都不想要…捣乱现状
And you don't want it to be... 'rupted. I don't know!
我不知道你们这群蠢阿宅！
You stupid nerds.
我也不在乎我一直都想要当运动经纪人
And I don't care. I wanted to be in sports management.
杀了他！
Kill him.
咱们上吧！
Let's do this!
发生什么事？
- It's happening! - Yeah, it is.
快跑金咪
- Oh! - Oh, uh, run, Kimmy!
狂欢吧
我不知道该怎么用我的手
泰坦斯我受够了
Titus.
我不玩了你烧掉太多桥了
That's it. I'm done. You've burned too many bridges.
才怪我放水淹没梅西百货时熄灭了一道失火的桥
Not true. I put out a bridge fire when I flooded that Macy's.
对不起我是丹尼尔派屈克莫尼汉母立学校的校长
Excuse me. I'm the principal here at Daniel Patrick Moynihan
-招牌上的“L”掉了 -可是你为什么要错上加错？
- Pubic School. The L fell off the sign. - But why do you have to say it that way?
我只想要谢谢你我从来没看过我们的学生这么投入和兴奋
I just wanted to thank you. I've never seen our students so engaged and excited.
-而且我赢了杰森是同志的赌注 -不客气
Also, I won a bet about Jason being gay.
我知道这可能是强人所难但我们真的在找人
This is a shot in the dark, but we're looking for someone
执导本校的春季舞台剧
to direct our spring play.
我们的戏剧老师最近为了追求别的机会辞职不干
Our theater teacher recently left to pursue other opportunities.
他搞大了女学生的肚子？
He got some girls pregnant?
搞得很大没错
Super pregnant, yes.
你有没有可能会有兴趣？
Is there any chance you'd be interested?
我？教小朋友？
Me? Teach children?
你在找工作泰坦斯我也需要这笔佣金
You are looking for work, Titus, and I need this commission.
我刚刚才因为那个小鬼是同志打赌输给这家伙20块钱
I just lost 20 bucks to this guy over that gay kid.
学生也很显然非常崇拜你
And the students clearly worship you.
什么？像是崇拜一个神？
What? Like a god?
并不是那样啦…
Well, not exactly like...
成交！正在讲话的秃头帅哥得标
Sold! To the handsome bald gentleman who's talking right now.
我的经纪人会处理所有的细节
My agent will handle all the details.
你要泰坦斯？我会让你希望你没有打娘胎出来
You want Titus? Well, I'm gonna make you wish you'd never been born.
让我们谈谈薪水
Let's talk salary.
日薪是140美元
It's $140 a day.
开车送我回家这笔交易就成交
Drive me home, and we have a deal.
噢天啊
Oh, God.
那是我参加过时间最短的狂欢性派对
That was the fastest orgy I've ever been in.
-真是的准备要走了吗？ -我准备要做很多事 -是吗？
- Oy! Ready to get out of here? - Oh, I'm ready to do a lot of stuff. - Yeah?
大部分的人都来匹兹堡逃避什么
Most people come to Pittsburgh to escape,
但是我不能不做自己莉莉恩
but I just can't stop being me, Lillian.
如果有一个混球我一定会逮到他
If there's a jerk, I'm gonna bust him!
我知道你说过我拿那部蠢电影没辙
And I know you said there's nothing I can do about that dumb movie,
但是我得试试看
but I have to try.
你知道吗？我不应该试着阻止你
You know what? I shouldn't have tried to stop you.
打击混球是你的屁♥股♥和酒杯狂欢派对
Bustin' jerks is just your Asses and Glasses Fest.
顺道一提我把我♥干♥的好事命名为 “屁♥股♥和酒杯狂欢派对”
Ah, by the way, I named what I just did here Asses and Glasses Fest.
好吧
Okay.
我要确定让大家都知道
And I wanna make sure everyone knows
牧师是一个真正的怪物不是派对怪物
that the Reverend is a real monster, not a party monster.
每个人同时都是很多不同的人傻妞
Well, everyone's a lot of people, dear.
我也一样
Well, so am I.
我还会再见到你吗莉莉恩？
Will I ever see you again, Lillian?
不会
No.
但我们永远都会拥有匹兹堡的回忆
But we'll always have Pittsburgh.