我本坚强（2015）

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt S04E09

Part 2 Feb. 28, 2023, 11:29 a.m.

Puerto Rico.
等等她怎么会…
Wait, how did she...
你知道我也在追求一个梦想
You know, I'm also following a dream.
我正在前往纽约的路上
I'm on my way to New York City
《狮子王》音乐剧明天举办公开试镜
because the Lion King musical is having an open call tomorrow.
所以你是个歌♥手
So you're a singer?
我从12岁开始就在我的教会诗班独唱
I started soloing in my church when I was 12.
魔鬼的脸孔是白的
♪ The devil's face is white ♪
魔鬼的脸孔是白的
♪ The devil's face is white ♪
地狱深渊也许漆黑一片
♪ The pits of hell, they may be black ♪
但魔鬼的脸孔是白的
♪ But the devil's face is white ♪
你当然不是魔鬼啦我相信你人一定很好
Not you, obviously. I'm sure you're nice.
《致命武器2》上映后我为了抗♥议♥南非种族隔离制度举办了烘焙义卖♥♥
I did a bake sale for apartheid after Lethal Weapon 2 came out.
（双面情人）
祝你一路平安老先生或小屁孩
Well, safe travels, old-timer or kiddo.
如果《狮子王》去伦敦公演
Maybe I'll see you again
也许我会
if The Lion King ever comes to...
再见到你那一定会很赞
a-London! It's-a nice-a!
也许吧
Maybe.
好在我看了《双面情人》
Thank goodness I saw Sliding Doors.
男人先生巴士先生呢
Mr. Man. Where's Mr. Bus?
去了我的手♥枪♥似乎去了的地方不见了
The same place my gun seems to have got to: gone.
可是我的东西都在上面
But all my stuff was on there.
我有一本《后台》杂♥志♥ 和一整个婚礼蛋糕
I had a Backstage magazine and a whole wedding cake.
午夜左右还会有一班巴士经过
Well, there's another bus coming through around midnight.
我得在早上十点以前到纽约
I have to be in New York by ten a.m.
我为什么要看《双面情人》
Why did I see Sliding Doors?
（公♥寓♥出租）
嘿女士
Hey, lady.
听好平常替我把风的人正在参加她的甜蜜十五岁成人礼
Listen, my regular lookout's at her quinceañera.
你能不能帮我盯一下有没有条子
You mind keeping an eye out for the cops?
我已经在盯那只斗牛犬
Well, I'm already keeping an eye out
它吃了一袋海♥洛♥因♥
for that pit bull who ate the bag of heroin,
不过好没问题
but sure, okay.
Yo.
Pretty good, pretty good.
Caw!
Caw-caw! Caw!
Caw! Caw!
（狮子王）
怎么会有人想要住在这里呢
Why do people want to live here?
而且那个鸽子女士一点都不像《小鬼当家2》的那个
And that pigeon lady was not like the one in Home Alone 2.
拜托你别再这样了女士
- Bleh! - Please stop doing that, ma'am!
（公开试镜早上十点）
不
No, no, no, no.
No.
不
No! No, no, no, no, no, no!
你永远都不会背叛我食物
You'll never betray me, food.
你也一样
Et tu?
我真希望我只吃了两个
Oh, I wish I only "et" two.
我全都吃光了
I "et" all of them!
- Oof! - Ugh!
白人北七
White idiot!
我是说…
I mean...
黑人北七
black idiot!
女士真的很抱歉我…
Ma'am, so sorry. I...
我15分钟后有份工作面试
I have a job interview in 15 minutes!
神啊给我一个征兆
Oh, God! Send me a sign!
（迷失困惑走投无路）
那块看板是一个征兆
That sign is a sign.
（我们有答案）
（美容教会）
嘿莉莉恩对吧
Hey, uh, Lillian, right?
多谢你刚才的帮忙你是替毒贩把风的天生好手
Thanks for your help earlier. You make a mean drug lookout.
我有两只眼睛和一张嘴巴
Oh, well... I got eyes and a mouth.
还有一个屁♥股♥…
And a butt.
我们很感谢你的帮忙
We appreciate the help.
你想加入F105帮吗
How would you like to join the Effé-ten-cinco?
我加入帮派我不知道耶
Me in a gang? I don't know.
我其实没什么“团队精神”
I-I'm not really a team player.
来嘛你有别的打算吗
Come on. What else you got going on?
我希望能够找到几个房♥客
Well, I was hoping to get some tenants.
有点收入会不错而且我超爱管闲事
I could use the income, and I love meddling,
像是： “嘿晚上十点罗安静点
like, "Hey! It's ten p.m.! Quiet down!
如果你在房♥间里养雪貂我就会打电♥话♥报案”
If you got a ferret in there, I'm calling three-one-one!"
跟我们混赚的钱比较多
Well, the money's better with us.
加上每星期二都吃脆玉米饼
Plus, Taco Tuesdays.
其他日子也都吃啦我们是一个拉丁裔帮派
And most other days. We're a Latin gang.
是喔
Yeah?
好吧那我就加入吧
All right, well, count me in.
好耶
Ye... huh?
你会搞懂的
Eh, you'll figure it out.
（八年后）
（现正上映《蝴蝶效应》）
所以金柏莉我喜欢那部电影还是…
So, Kimberly, did I like that movie, or...
不
No.
我是说是怎样一只蝴蝶在亚马逊丛林挥舞翅膀
I mean, what? A butterfly flaps its wings in the Amazon
然后艾希顿库奇就在床上醒来没有了手臂
and Ashton Kutcher wakes up in his bed with no arms
而不是在我的床上醒来没穿裤子
instead of in my bed with no pants?
这就是
This is what
我一直在跟你们这些女人说的你们掌控着你们的人生
I've been telling you bitches: you are in control of your life,
不是蝴蝶或是你们的蠢小孩
not butterflies or your dumb baby.
你说如果我有个小孩对我们这群人会很好玩
But you said if I had a baby, it'd be fun for the group.
我的人生并不完美
My life wasn't perfect.
你知道我妈现在在哪儿吗
Do you know where my mom is right now?
我也不知道
Me neither.
我只有在我妈用光骆驼牌香烟现金时才会听到她的消息
I only ever hear from her when she runs out of Camel Cash,
但是我从来不会让萝莉安阻止我觉得自己棒呆了
but I never let Lori-Ann stand in the way of my own fabulosity.
印第安纳大学邓斯维尔分校全额奖学金
Full scholarship to IU Durnsville.
印第安纳大学加油
Go, IUD!
Oink, oink, oink!
毕业生代表、姊妹会会长
Valedictorian, sorority president,
我在今年的大四生比赛被选为怪兽母猪
and I was voted Monster Sow at this year's senior game. Shh.
猜猜是谁
Guess who.
够了
Stop!
我的天啊布莱恩
Oh, my God, Bryan.
过来宝贝
Come here, baby.
Mm.
-宝贝我好想你哦 -我好想你宝贝
- Baby, I missed you, baby. - I missed you, baby.
-我想你你是我的宝贝 -不我才想你
- I missed you... you're my baby! - No, I miss you. No, I miss you.
你是我的宝贝
You're my baby.
我好担心你哦
I was so worried about you.
我听说另一个女孩在护校被绑♥架♥
I just heard another girl got kidnapped over at the nursing college.
你这么性感火♥辣♥ 怎么会没有被绑♥架♥
You are so hot. How have you not been kidnapped?
因为我很聪明啊
'Cause I'm smart.
我是说怎么会有20个女生让这种事发生在她们身上呢
I mean, how are there 20 women who'd let that happen to them?
大伙儿有谁想要当家作主吗
Guys, um, does, like, someone wanna be in charge?
我在想如果我们其中一个人
You know, I think if just, like, one of us maybe, like,
也许只要稍微反抗他
stood up to him a little bit,
牧师就不会绑♥架♥我们这么多人了
the Reverend wouldn't kidnap so many of us.
有人吗
Anyone?
翠西你学过跆搏所以你知道…
Trish, you did Tae Bo, so, you know.
或是也许比如说我可以…
Or maybe, like, I could...
好吧你们是对的算了
Okay, you're right. Forget it.
她们为什么不杀了他或是逃跑我是说我就会那么做
Why don't they kill him or escape? I mean, that's what I'd do.
你上过跆搏课
You took that Tae Bo class.
来抓我啊宝贝什么
Try and get me, baby.
Whoa! Huh, huh, huh!
布莱恩打抛猪
Bryan Pigslinger,
把我放下来
put me down. uh!
所以我学会靠我自己
So I learned to count on myself.
我上夜班
I worked the late shift
（2007学年度）
把泼水城水上乐园的水池上面的秽物捞干净
skimming diarrhea off the tide pool at Splash Town.
我自己出钱装牙套、
I paid for my braces,
买♥♥课本英国腔如师通教学光碟
my textbooks, my British Rosetta Stone CDs.
可是真的很值得不是吗
But it was bloody well worth it, innit?
我大学副修哲学
As a philosophy minor,
知道亚当史密斯在市场看不见的手
I know that Adam Smith's invisible hand of the market
会奖赏应得报酬的人
rewards those who deserve it.
所以如果你们不成功