小偷小抢

我吗
Me?
如果可以 我并不是很想分享
I... don't really feel like sharing, if that's okay.
当然可以
Of course.
但你的分享是我们携手共进中的重要部分
But your shares are a valuable part of our collective journey.
我向你保证 这里非常安全
I promise you, this is an incredibly safe space.
我其实不知道有什么好说
I don't really know what to say.
你不如先告诉我们你的名字
Why don't you tell us your name?
大家好 我是艾洛蒂
Hi, I'm Elodie.
你好 艾洛蒂
Hi, Elodie.
你想谈谈你第一次行窃经历吗
Do you want to tell us about the first time you stole?
好吧
Okay.
那是几个月前的事
it was a couple months ago.
那其实是个意外
It was kind of an accident. I...
我拿着一包忘记给钱的星爆
walked out of a hospital cafeteria
从医院的饭堂走出去了
with a pack of Starbursts I forgot to pay for.
我意识到后 我知道我该折回去付款
Once I realized, I knew I should have gone back, but...
但我就有种这就该是属于我的的感觉
I kind of felt like I deserved it.
这就比如
It's like...
既然有某种力量能夺人所爱
there are forces that can randomly take people away.
那就该有
There should be...
力量能让我们不劳而获
forces that randomly give you things for free.
我们都非常感谢你的分享
We are incredibly grateful for that share.
那是个考特妮.巴尼特的徽章吗
Is that a Courtney Barnett pin?
-我喜欢她的音乐 -我也是
- I love her music. - Yeah.
她在我工作的酒吧搞了个余兴派对
She did an after-party at this club where I work.
她很酷
She was chill.
她唱"先锋园丁"了吗
Did she play "Avant Gardener"?
对 人们简直疯了
Yeah, people went nuts.
二位真是臭味相投
You like long walks on the beach? I like long walks on the beach.
莫 你为什么总是针对我
Moe, why are you always giving me shit?
你长了张该被针对的脸
With a face like that? Someone's got to.
她就是把持不住
She can't help herself.
你们三个互相认识吗
You guys know each other?
-当然不 -我们在一处上学
- No. - We go to the same school.
秒懂 我是卢卡
Right on. Luca.
艾洛蒂
Elodie.
那你是
And you are?
塔比莎
Tabitha.
塔比莎是吧
Tabitha.
我懂你这类
I know your type.
哦是吗
Is that so?
让我猜猜 某个法官对你从轻发落了
Let me guess. Some judge cut you a sweet deal.
准备好再开了吗
Shall we reconvene?
垂涎不已了吗
Drool much?
这件事天知地知你知我知
Just so we're clear, this never happened.
我毫不惊讶
Shocker.
-我只是 -当然
- Oh, hey. I was just-- - Sure.
-你从哪来的 -新墨西哥州
- So, where are you from? - New Mexico.
瘾君子和外星人的故乡
The land of meth heads and UFOs.
我衷心期望你与那个地方永别了
I hope you said goodbye to the sun. Forever.
-不至于吧
- That bad?
-当然 这里的人也糟透了
- Yeah. And the people here suck, too.
大家都很喜欢把波特兰搞得很奇怪
Everyone's obsessed with keeping Portland weird.
真难熬
It's oppressive.
-生活是很难熬啊 -这就是你偷东西的原因吗
- Life is oppressive. - That why you steal?
我只是...
I just...
想要个遮瑕膏
need some concealer.
得好好盯着这个人才行啊
Oh, hey. You better keep an eye on that one.
本性难移
Guess old habits die hard.
我今天能出来只是
Look, I only showed up today
因为我爸的律师说服了法官
because my dad's lawyer convinced some judge
每周让我出来一次能帮我解脱
that going there once a week would be my salvation.
解脱什么 是你花不完的零花钱
From what? Your unlimited allowance?
你妈晒在拼趣上的豪♥宅♥ 还是无微不至的家庭厨师
Mommy's Pinterest palace? The holistic family chef?
-他是不是对你很坏 -我没在和你聊这些
- Is he mean to you? - I'm not doing this with you.
行 那就说说你偷了什么让他们逮到了
Fine. Just tell me what they got you for.
手镯 然后有点得意忘形 还偷了隐藏摄像机
Bracelet. Got a little cocky. A hidden camera.
那你偷了什么
So what's your deal?
我... 不想在这里说这个
I... don't really feel comfortable talking about this here.
废什么话
Fuck talking.
就看看谁能在最短时间内
Let's see who can get the best shit
搞到最好的东西
in the shortest amount of time.
偷的所有东西归赢的人
Winner takes all.
好坏的标准怎么定
And how do we account for taste?
价高者赢
Highest price tag wins.
行啊
Fine.
酷
Cool.
30分钟后对面的公园见
Meet in the park across the street in 30.
看样子她不来了
Looks like what's-her-name's a no-show.
可能被逮到了 他们究竟什么时候才能发现啊
Probably got nabbed. When will they ever learn?
管它的 赶快比完了事
Whatever. Let's get this over with.
你先 塔比
After you, Tabby.
-别这么叫我 -行
- Don't call me that. - Right.
你总装作我们以前没有一起玩过波莉娃娃似的
You like to pretend we didn't co-parent a Polly Pocket.
我理解你把那些事情当作你的光辉岁月
Look, I get that those may have been your glory days,
但你享受美好回忆时请别把我带上
but you can spare me the trip down memory lane.
随你怎么说 塔比
Whatever you say, Tabby.
还不赖
Not bad.
到你了
Your turn.
-这是什么鬼 -塑身裤
- What the hell is this? - Spanx.
你到底有没有在好好偷
Were you even trying?
你来晚了 还空手而归
Yo, you're late and empty-handed.
上帝啊
Holy shit.
行吧 可这些钻又不是真的
Yeah, right. Those are not real.
是不真 但是值400刀
No, but they were $400.
所以获胜者是
And the winner is...
我觉得这衣服不适合你
Well, I really don't think it's your style.
别做个出尔反尔的垃圾 我们事先说好的
Don't be a garbage human. We made a deal.
把外套给她
Give her the jacket.
不用了 她说的没错
No, she's right.
不符合我的风格
It's not really me.
莫 你被绑♥架♥了吗
Moe, have you been kidnapped?
对啊 快叫人来救我
Yes. Send for help!
他们真是败类
They're such losers.
布莱迪
Hey, Brady.
我这打不到车 你能来接我吗
Look, I'm stranded. Can you come and pick me up?
谢了 我给你发定位
Thanks. I'm dropping a pin.
能别跟着我吗
Can you quit stalking me?
对不起 只是...
Sorry. It's just...
你和布莱迪在派对上怎么了
what happened with you and Brady at the party...
你根本不知道自己在说什么
You don't know what you're talking about.
我是说如果你...
I just mean if you...
想找个人倾诉...
ever need someone to talk to...
我不像你
Unlike you,
我有朋友 所以不用了
I have friends, so I'm good.
宝贝
Hey, babe.
你真漂亮
You look nice.
我买♥♥了你最喜欢的 多加奶泡
I got your favorite. Extra foam.
谢了
Thanks.
我知道你说了你不饿
I know you said you weren't hungry.
-你都不敲门的吗 -抱歉
- Ever hear of knocking? - Oh, sorry.
我只是给你端来一碗抱子甘蓝
I just brought you a sprout bowl.
谢谢
Thanks.
听着 我希望
Look. I hope
我对你入店行窃这事没有太严厉
I wasn't too hard on you about this whole shoplifting thing.
天知道 我在你这年纪也做过许多傻事
I mean, God knows, I pulled some stupid stunts at your age
可我并没有经历你所遭受的那些事
and I hadn't gone through anything close to what you have.
没事的 爸爸 我们不必谈这事
It's okay, Dad. We don't have to talk about it.
别担心 我会把椭圆机搬出去的
Don't worry, I will get this elliptical out of here.
我想着把车♥库♥改成家庭健身房♥
I'm thinking of turning the garage into a home gym.