小偷小抢

This isn't shoplifting. It's grand theft auto.
深呼吸 我们会还车的是吗
Okay, let's take a breath. We are going to return the car, right?
会啊 伙计
Yeah, man.
我们只是兜个圈
We're just taking it for a spin.
他会很生气吧
He would hate this, right?
是啊 比什么都生气
Yeah, more than anything.
天啊
Oh, boy.
现在怎么办 我们得有一个新计划
Okay, now what? We're going to have to have a plan.
我们把轮胎割破
Oh! How about we slash the tires
把车停在他家门口怎样
and leave the car at his house,
然后
and then--
不行 莫 我们不能伤害车
No, Moe, we can't hurt the car.
布雷迪会发疯的
Brady is gonna freak.
伤害车
Hurt the car?
塔比莎 这是一辆车
Tabitha, it's a car.
天啦 我现在没法幽默
God, I can't with the irony right now.
要么我们把车开到垃圾场
How about we take the car to a junkyard,
表示他的心爱之物就是垃圾
to show him what his prized possession is actually worth?
我们把它开回学校怎么样
How about we just drop it off back at school?
蹩脚
Lame.
不一定
Or not.
我是说 不是停在我们学校 停在南区
I mean, just not at our school. At South.
这样布雷迪就觉得
That way Brady just thinks
这只是某个恶作剧的一部分
it's just a part of some douchey prank.
我支持这个主意
I could get behind that.
-你呢 -你们反正都会做的 所以
-You? -You're going to do it anyway, so I guess.
*跳一曲缓慢的迪斯科*
*To a slow disco *
*我的手从你的手心滑落*
*Slip my hand from your hand*
*留你和魔鬼跳舞*
*Leave you dancin' with a ghost*
*我的手从你的手心滑落*
*Slip my hand from your hand*
*留你和魔鬼跳舞*
*Leave you dancin' with a ghost*
*难道不是跟着节拍 慢慢跳到死*
*Don't it beat a slow dance to death?*
*难道不是跟着节拍 慢慢跳到死*
*Don't it beat a slow dance to death?*
*难道不是跟着节拍*
*Don't it beat a slow?*
*难道不是跟着节拍 慢慢跳到死*
*Don't it beat a slow dance to death?*
奶昔
Milkshakes!
诺亚
待会在吗
我得说..
Gotta say...
我越来越喜欢这种犯罪生活
this life of crime is growing on me.
我就希望我们能看到他去停车场
I just wish we could see his face
找不到车时脸上的表情
when he goes out into the lotxa0 and can't find his car.
他可能还以为被拖走了
He'll probably think it got towed.
奥利奥冰激凌怎么从来都吃不厌
No. How does Oreo ice cream never get old?
如果你必须选 你宁可
Okay, if you had to, would you rather...
放弃冰激凌还是放弃做♥爱♥
give up ice cream or sex...
这辈子
for the rest of your life?
考虑到我还从来没有做过爱
Well, considering I've never tried sex...
冰激凌得一分
One point for ice cream.
我得吃一辈子冰激凌吗
Am I going to be eating ice cream for the rest of my life?
不 相信我 你会找到那个人
No, trust me. You're gonna find someone.
我怀念喜欢一个人的感觉
I miss liking someone.
老实说 想念佐伊是关于她最美好的部分
Honestly, thinking about Zoey was the best part about her.
我怀念做数学作业时有人可以想的感觉
I miss having someone to think about while I do my math homework.
好吧
Okay.
你会选择一生只有一次真爱
Would you rather have one good crush for the rest of your life,
但那感觉不是相互的
but the feelings aren't mutual,
还是一段永久的平淡无奇的关系
or be in a blah relationship forever?
很好选 真爱
Easy. One good crush.
真爱无敌
Crushes are the best.
没错
So true.
但我想我会怀念性♥爱♥的
But I think I'd miss sex.
那你会选择跟...
All right, then. So would you rather have sex with...
杰克·吉特曼...
Jack Gitmen...
还是马克斯·帕特尔做♥爱♥
or Max Patel?
好恶心 都不要
Gross! Neither.
-不 你必须选一个 -我选择禁欲
- No, you have to choose one. - I choose abstinence.
好吧 那你会选择跟...
Right, okay. So, would you rather have sex with...
马克斯·帕特尔还是...
Max Patel or...
诺亚·西莫斯做♥爱♥
Noah Simos?
我看到你的手♥机♥了
I saw your phone.
好吧
Okay.
将军
Checkmate.
被你抓到了
You got me.
-你喜欢诺亚吗 -可能吧
- You like Noah? - Maybe.
我们暑假在一起工作
Well, we, like, worked together in the summer
慢慢地 我们就...
and when it was slow, we would, you know...
什么
What?
什么 你在想什么
What? What are you thinking?
-说吧 -我觉得你应该小心一点
- Just say it. - I just think you should be careful.
那是什么意思
What is that supposed to mean?
他和凯拉有暧昧
He and Kayla have a thing.
她还喜欢着他 不会轻易放弃的
I mean, she still likes him and she doesn't give up easy.
不想看到你受伤
Don't want to see you get hurt.
我也一样
Yeah, it makes two of us.
你生气了吗
You mad?
没有
No.
没有
No.
没事
All good.
我们走吧
Let's roll?
你来开 阿尔布开克
All right. You're up, Albuquerque.
我不用了
No, I'm good.
什么 不 来吧 轮到你了
What? No. Come on, it's your turn.
我不太喜欢开车
I don't really like driving.
不 相信我 这车开着很舒服
No, trust me. This car will comfort you.
我连我们现在在哪里都不知道
I don't even know where we are right now.
还有一英里就到南部了
South is literally a mile away.
你可以的
Yeah, you've got this.
艾洛蒂
Elodie!
艾洛蒂
Elodie!
艾洛蒂
Elodie!
艾洛蒂
Elodie!
艾洛蒂
Elodie!
艾洛蒂 艾洛蒂
Elodie, Elodie, Elodie!
-好吧 -艾洛蒂
- Ok, yeah, fine. - Elodie--
-副驾驶 -副驾驶 该死
- Shotgun. - Shotgun, damn it.
很好
Right.
好了 莫 选首歌♥放着就好了
Okay, Moe. Just pick a song and let it play.
我在选最合适的歌♥
Yeah, I'm looking for the best song.
我到底要开去哪
Where am I going exactly?
-一直沿着湖的右边开就行 -天啊
- Uh, just keep the lake on your left-- - Oh, my God.
认真地吗
Seriously?
我是唱片播放人 这是我的活
Dude, I'm the DJ. That's my job.
姐♥妹♥们♥ 我在哪里拐来着
Guys, where am I turning again?
前面那里
The one up ahead.
-右边那个吗 -不 左边的
- Right? - No, the left.
不是那个
Not that one--
-你最好是对的 -不对 下一个口
- You better work. - No, no! The next one!
-小心 -该死
- Look out! - Oh, shoot!
完了
Shit.
-没那么糟嘛 -该死
- It's not that bad. - Shit.
完了 完了
Shit, shit!
-抱歉 塔比莎 -我们不该让你开
- I'm so sorry, Tabitha. - We shouldn't have made you drive.
是我的错 我来承担
It's my fault, I'll take the blame.
不 去他的 谁都不要承担
No, fuck that. Nobody is taking the blame.
我哥的朋友是个汽修师
Okay, my brother's friend is a mechanic.
-他能修好的 -天啊 我没救了
- He can fix this. - God, I'm so fucked.
别这样说
Shh. Don't say that.
布雷迪知道会气死的
Brady is gonna be so pissed.
我会和他说车是我开的 我撞的
I'll tell him I was driving, I was behind the wheel.
不 是我把车从停车场开出来的
No, I'm the one who drove it out of the lot.
但这是我的事情