小偷小抢

我也不知道
I don't know, man.
她变了 我也变了 陈年旧事了
She changed, I changed. It was a really long time ago.
所以说
So...
你们俩其实也没有吵架 就是
you guys didn't have a fight or anything? Just...
不再做朋友了
stopped being friends?
对 差不多是这样
Yeah, something like that.
言归正传
So, um...
你这里有什么零食吗
how is the snack game around here?
臭美
Brat.
这个冰箱内容传达信息量真大
This fridge is sending me a lot of mixed messages.
好吧 我看个上古甘蓝
Okay, I see you, dinosaur kale.
四种口味的康普茶真的过分了
Kombucha in four flavors feels like overkill.
最普通芝士条和豆奶
Generic string cheese and generic soy milk.
真是令人震惊 但尚可接受
Honestly shocked, but processing.
噢 但你有自♥制♥的杏仁奶
Oh, but you've got the homemade almond milk,
这还稍微好点
so... kinda saves it a bit.
你♥爸♥爸都把他的零食放在哪里
Where does your dad keep his snacks?
放在车♥库♥里吗 我猜他会偷偷吃奇多
In the garage? I bet he secret-eats Cheetos.
我把它们藏在水池下面
I hide them under the sink.
-先生 -叫我道格
- ...sir. - Call me Doug.
不好意思 我没有要偷听你们的意思
Sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you ladies.
-老爸 -怎么了吗
- Dad! - What?
你这条裤子
Your... pants.
我只是去特赖恩河边骑行了
Oh, I just went for a ride to Tryon Creek.
下次你可以试试去凯利角公园
Oh, next time, you should go to Kelley Point Park.
那段路不好骑 但那个隐秘海滩一流
It's a tougher ride, but the hidden beach is so dope.
绝对值得
It's definitely worth it.
我这几周来一直尝试带上这个人
I've been trying to get this
和我一起去凯利角公园
one to go with me to Kelley Point for weeks now.
你穿成这样我不会跟你去任何地方的
I'm not going anywhere with you dressed like that.
有时候你就该全情投入啊
Sometimes you gotta go all in.
她懂我
She gets me.
艾洛 也许你的女朋友
Uh... El, maybe your girlfriend
想留下和我们共进晚餐
would like to stay for dinner?
我是说 你的朋友 女的 你懂
I mean, your friend, you know, that's a girl.
或者你们可能不仅仅是朋友
Or maybe you're more than friends.
不管怎样 我都能接受
Either way, I'm cool.
我们不留下来吃晚饭了
We're not staying for dinner.
我能拿包奇多吗
Yo, can I get a sink Cheeto?
谢谢
Thanks.
当然 去日本还有一个问题
But of course, the other problem with going to Japan
就是回来以后会觉得这的寿司太难吃了
is that it really ruins sushi when you come back.
凯茜姑姑
Um, Auntie Cathy, I'm,
-我得 -去吧 我再去倒点酒
- I'm just gonna-- - Oh, go. I need a refill.
这有什么新鲜的
What else is new, right?
那话太刺耳了
That was harsh.
我知道 他太让人尴尬了
I know, right? He's so embarrassing.
不是 我是说你
No, I mean you.
道格看起来很棒
Doug seems pretty chill.
怎么了
What?
我发现奇怪的是 所有人里
I just find it weird that you,
只有你觉得我那脚跛的爸爸很酷
of all people, think my lame dad is chill.
我还能说什么 我是个矛盾的人
What can I say? I'm a paradox.
再说了 老一辈人很少会惹恼我
Besides, old people kind
尤其是和那些高中生比起来
of annoy me less than high school people.
我觉得没人比我爸更烦人了
I don't think there's anyone more annoying than my dad.
看来你们关系不大好
I take it you guys aren't close.
在我六岁的时候 我爸妈就离婚了
My parents divorced when I was six.
我爸好像在阿尔布开克陷入了困境
And my dad was kind of floundering back in Albuquerque.
之后他又在这找了份工作
Then he got a job offer here, so...
老本行总是有出路
The old career escape hatch.
就好像他越努力 我就越烦他
It's like the harder he tries, the more he bothers me.
他对我的继弟又一副完美爸爸的样子
And seeing him being Mr. Perfect Dad
这让我很生气
to my step-brother is maddening.
就好像
It's like...
过去十年你都在哪
where were you the last ten years?
他绝对花了大把时间用来买♥♥紧身衣
Well, he definitely spent a solid amount of time buying spandex.
不要让我想起来
Don't remind me.
我爸
My dad...
并不怎么管我
hasn't exactly been around.
所以
So...
庆祝一下我们的失职父亲
shout out to deadbeat dads.
你会去见他吗
Do you see him?
不去
No.
那可真糟
That sucks.
该怎样就怎样
It is what it is.
但我妈是位了不起的英雄
My mom's a fucking hero, though.
现在我哥也走了
Yeah, and now that my brother's away, it's...
就剩我们俩了
just the two of us.
你在这玩得开心吗
You doing all right over here?
挺好的
I'm fine.
你知道你戴这块表很好看
Well, you know that watch looks great on you, right?
现在你就没有理由不回我消息了
Now, you'll never have an excuse to miss any of my texts.
好极了
Perfect.
抓花是什么意思
What's that supposed to mean?
你知道的 今天是我的生日
You know it's my birthday.
你今晚可以不要这么计较
You can lighten up for one night.
你怎么总是有事
Why is it always something with you?
我们为了你准备了这个大型派对
I mean, we're throwing you this huge-ass party
但你表现得就像一个被宠坏的孩子
and you're acting like a spoiled brat.
我最喜欢你这个样子了
This is my favorite version of you.
我今晚不想吵架 我们能不能
I don't want to fight tonight. Let's just...
你能停下吗
Can you stop?
-什么 -听着 我是认真的 布雷迪
- What? - Listen, I mean it, Brady.
-拜托 -天哪
- Come on. - Jesus!
你有什么问题吗 拜托 放松点
What is your problem? Come on, relax.
给我滚远点 布雷迪
Get the fuck off of me, Brady.
天哪 我只是想跟你独处一会
Jesus! Look, I'm just trying to have a moment.
-天哪 你真是个该死的贱♥人♥ -天哪
- God, you're such a fucking bitch. - Jesus!
你要干什么
What are you going to do?
把我从船上扔下去
Throw me off of the boat
就像把我从你们家扔出去那样吗
like you threw me out of your house?
-我没想这么做 -永远都别再碰我了
- That's not what I was trying - Look, don't ever touch me again.
可以吗
Okay?
塔比莎 拜托
Tabitha, come on.
我们结束了
We're so over.
欢迎来到我的差不多派对
Welcome to my kind of party.
你好 杰克逊
Hey, Jackson.
怎么了 莫 才离开了几分钟而已
Sup, Moe? It's been a minute.
你要是想我了 怎么不直接来告诉我
If you miss me, why don't you just come out and say it?
我们等会聊
Let's catch up later?
一会儿见
We'll see.
他是干什么的
What's his deal?
他是我大哥的朋友 本
He was friends with my older brother, Ben.
-你们曾经 -他在我困难的时候帮助过我
- Were you guys ever... - He got me through a slow patch.
她来了
Oh, there she is.
你好 塔比
Hey, Tabby.
你吃过软壳蟹吗
Have you tried the soft-shell crab yet?
-人间美味 -妈妈
- It's heaven. - Yeah, Mom, you...
-你做的很棒 -知道吗
- really outdid yourself. - Oh, you know.
你说得对 人人都爱能量棒
You were right about the raw bar. Everybody is loving it.
-怎么了 -没事
- What's wrong? - Nothing.
我很好
I'm fine.
发生什么事了
What's wrong?
我和布雷迪分手了
Brady and I broke up.
可你们前一秒还好好的
But you guys were fine just a minute ago.
妈妈 我们不好有一阵子了
Mom, we haven't been fine for a while.
你们两个太小题大做了
Everything is so dramatic with you two.
但没关系 我和你♥爸♥爸以前也是这样
But it's okay. Your father and I were the same.
我想像你们一样
Something I aspire to be.