天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S03E10

Part 4 March 5, 2021, 1:01 p.m.

"亲爱的我和你约会只因为我想吃龙虾"
"Dear, I'm only on this date because I want that lobster."
那我希望你这话是吃完了才说的
Well, I hope you did it after dinner.
我这人是实诚但是又不傻
I'm honest, not stupid.
不对费里斯你要和她们说好话
No, no, Felix, you've got to trick them with flattery.
比如"宝贝你能找到比我更好的人
You know, like, "Baby, you could do so much better than me.
你就是非洲女王"
You're an African queen."
你们聊什么呢
Hey, what are you guys talking about?
我们在教费里斯怎么和人分手
We're sharing with Felix how we break up with somebody.
那也许不该我来...
Well, I probably shouldn't be the one...
我真的不应该来...
I really don't...
什么五号♥桌加点芥末
Oh, what's that, table five, more mustard?
马上就来
Coming right up.
我只是不知道该怎么做太疯狂了
I just... I don't know what to do. This is insane.
我是什么毛病
What's wrong with me?
你没什么毛病
There's nothing wrong with you.
你说得对你不是那种玩一♥夜♥情♥的人
You were right... you're just not a one-night stand kind of guy.
是我觉得大家都知道这一点
Yes, I think we all know that,
除了那个霸占着我家不走的人
except for the squatter in my apartment.
我懂你想要的不只是性
I get that... you're looking for more than sex.
你想要的是能和你过一辈子的人
You're looking for someone to spend your life with.
-对 -一个把你逼疯的人
- Right. - Someone who drives you crazy
让你做许多蠢事的人
and makes you do dumb things,
但是你无法想象没有她的日子会是什么样
but you can't picture your life without her.
想和她谈谈吗
Want to go talk to her?
是我要去和她谈谈
Yeah, I think so.
你欠我12美元25美分
I think you owe $12.25.
还有你吃的洋葱圈的钱
And your portion of the onion rings.
傻子我们现在正温情着呢
Dummy, we're having a moment here.
每次该结账的时候他就这样
Always has his moments when the damn bill comes.
在播《娇妻真人秀》啊
Ah, the Real Housewives are on.
娜塔莎
Natasha?
费里斯
Felix.
来坐我旁边
Park it right here.
来给我按按脚怎么样
How about you give my feets a rub?
你该去检查一下这个脚趾头了都发灰了
You know, you may want to get that little gray toe looked at.
娜塔莎
Natasha
我要对你实话实说了
I am going to be brutally honest with you.
结果我不是那种
Um, as it turns out, I guess I am just not the sort of person
喜欢和网友上♥床♥的人
who is comfortable hopping into bed with virtual strangers.
你说我是荡♥妇♥
Are you calling me a slut?
不是不是你人很好
No, no, no, no... no, you're great.
我想说的是
What I meant to say was...
宝贝你可以找到比我更好的人
Baby, you could do so much better than me.
你就是非洲女王
You're a African queen.
你是不是吃我包里的药了
Oh, did you take one of the pills from my purse?
行了请你离开
Okay, please leave.
出去出去给我消失你这个妖妇
Get out, get out, get out, be gone, you foul temptress!
你这人什么毛病
What is wrong with you?
你真是疯了
You're crazy!
我两天前
Dude, I was ready to leave
就准备走了但是你要我留下来吃早饭
two days ago, but you asked me to stay for breakfast.
你叫我洗个澡
You told me to take a bath
然后躺平在阳台上
and lay out on the balcony!
我还为你做了杰克逊维尔式摆臀
I gave you a Jacksonville jiggler,
这个体♥位♥我多费腰你知道吗
which, you know, puts a lot of strain on my lower back.
能够离开回去找我男朋友
I have never been so happy to leave
我从来没这么高兴过
and go back to my boyfriend.
我成功了
I did it.
她走了
She's gone.
费里斯你这个芳心杀手
Felix, you old heartbreaker.
奥斯卡你在做什么
Oscar, what are you doing?
我要给你看个东西
I'm going to show you something
你肯定会喜欢的
that you're really going to like.
你之前就这么说结果喜忧参半
You've said that before with mixed results.
你自己的一个架子
It's your own shelf.
用来放你各种各样的女士用品
For all your mysterious lady things.
奥斯卡
Okay, Oscar,
到底怎么了
what is going on?
一开始你想让我和你亲密一点然后又逃跑
First you want to get closer, and then you run away.
那是因为你使我疯狂
Well, that's because you drive me crazy.
我使你疯狂
I drive you crazy?
是啊
Yeah.
因为我发现
Because I realized
我爱你夏洛特
that I love you, Charlotte.
所以我才做了这么多的蠢事
And that's why I do all these stupid things,
因为
because...
我爱上你了
I've fallen in love with you.
你不打算说点什么吗
Are you going to say anything back?
近期内你会说那四个字吗
Is it coming anytime soon?
我也爱你奥斯卡
I love you, too, Oscar.
太好了
Oh, good,
因为我都打算收回这三个字了
because I was just going to take it back.