天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S03E07

Part 4 March 5, 2021, 1 p.m.

费里斯我不知道你也是心理咨♥询♥师
Felix, I didn't know you were a therapist.
我不是
I'm not.
怎么威胁到你了吗
Why, do I threaten you?
看吧瞎管
See? Meddling.
我说的就是这
That's exactly what I'm talking about.
他总说我是瞎管侠
He calls me a meddler.
可任他怎么说
And after all the times
我都还是在他向我求助前主动伸出援手
I stepped in to help him without him even asking.
这样吧我订了十分钟后的晚餐
You know what? I have dinner reservations in, ooh, ten minutes.
所以我们切入正题
So we're gonna cut to the chase.
戴安和...
Diane and...
不好意思我不记得你的名字笨瓜
I'm sorry, I didn't get your name, dumbass fool.
我叫泰迪
It's Teddy.
你们说你们经常这样吵架
You said you have these fights every so often.
但是这次泰迪把奥斯卡牵扯进来了
But this one seemed to escalate out of control
似乎恶化了情形
when Teddy let Oscar get involved.
稍等
Wait a minute.
你跟这个傻瓜请教
You taking advice from this chump?
好吧你可能是对的
Yeah, you're probably right.
我告诉过你的奥斯卡你该听我的
See, I told you, Oscar. You should have listened to me.
就像丹妮和艾米丽一样咯
Well, that's what Dani and Emily did.
只是一个小小的摩擦就变得一发不可收拾了
And a minor disagreement got blown way out of proportion.
是你该听我的
Aha! You should have listened to me!
没人该听你的
No one should listen to you.
是啊奥斯卡你差点毁掉了我的婚姻
Yeah, Oscar. You almost wrecked my marriage.
是啊多亏了费里斯
Yeah, and thanks to Felix,
我差点都可以睡在雪佛兰的后座了
I was almost sleeping in the back of a Chevy Vega.
天黑得太快了
It got dark so fast.
干得真好费里斯
Great job, Felix.
我们走吧泰迪熊熊
Let's get out of here, Teddy-bear.
泰迪熊熊想吃蜂蜜
Yeah, Teddy-bear wants some honey.
室友亲亲我们也该走了
We should go, too, roomie.
《小屋猎人》五分钟后就要开始了
Tiny House Hunters starts in five minutes.
我喜欢他们的爆头场景
I love it when they hit their heads.
奥斯卡我们是坏人吗
Oscar, are we bad people?
我们不是圣人
We're not great.
你们不是坏人
Look, you're not bad people.
你们的意图是好的
You had good intentions.
但要是我听了费里斯的
Yeah, but if I had listened to Felix,
泰迪也不会给他自己惹了这么多麻烦
then Teddy wouldn't have gotten himself in so much trouble.
要是我听奥斯卡的
And if I had listened to Oscar,
艾米丽和丹妮也不会吵架
Emily and Dani would be fine.
有意思
Interesting.
看来是这样的把你们分开来看
You know, it seems to me that individually,
你们就是冲突和混乱的罪魁祸首
the two of you are sources of a lot of conflict and chaos.
但你们在一起
But together...
我们让彼此变得更好
We make each other better!
我本来是想说你们负负得正了
I was going to say you cancel each other out.
那让我们变得更好
Which makes us better.
当然是这样
Sure, why not?
你们都没事了
You are cured.
我宣布你们身心健康
I declare you both mentally healthy.
我认为之后也不会有问题
I see no future problems here.
看吧我们很棒
See? We're great!
也很般配
And a good match.
这也是为什么我愿意正式地选你
And that is why I would like to officially choose you
为我的室友
as my roommate.
你愿意搬回来跟我负负得正吗
Will you move back in and cancel me out?
我的荣幸
I would be honored.
欢迎回家兄弟
Welcome home, buddy.
谢谢
Thank you.
现在我需要请你出去一会儿
Now I'm gonna need you to clear out of here
我要把地毯都洗了
for a few hours while I shampoo the carpet.
真是太多脚印了
Lot of foot traffic in here today!
奥斯卡不要生气
Oscar, don't sulk.
下回的按钮归你按
You can push the button next time.
上回你就这么说
That's what you said last time.
等等我
Hold the elevator!
高曼医生
Dr. Goldman!
天哪
Oh, boy.
很高兴遇到你
I am so glad that we ran into you.
我一直在重温我们昨天的谈话
I've been going over my notes from yesterday's session,
我有很多发现想告诉你
and I have a host of observations to share with you.
你知道吗我很忙的
You know, my schedule's pretty tight.
看吧高曼医生
See, Dr. Goldman?
这就是我每天面对的痛苦
This is what I have to deal with every day.
他有强迫症是吧
He's compulsive, right?
有什么药可以治吗
Is there a pill he can take for that,
或者给他来一针痛的
or a really painful injection?
我到了
Oh, this is me.
四楼吗
Four?
我以为你住在十四楼
I thought you lived on 14.
是的但我读了一篇文章
I do, but I read an article called,
叫做《每日十层让你拥有美臀》
Ten Flights a Day Gives You the Glutes You Want, yay!
天哪我必须搬家了
Oh, God, I've got to move.
话还没说完她就这么离开了真没礼貌
That was rude of her to walk out on our session like that.
我同意
I concur.