天生冤家（2015）

The Odd Couple S03E04

Part 1 March 5, 2021, 1 p.m.

感谢你的到来特朗德夫人
Thanks for coming, Mrs. Trundle.
没有你第二份大虾拼盘
Without you, the second shrimp platter
就白白浪费了
would have gone completely to waste.
知道吗
You know,
听50个老人讲你♥爸♥有多棒
having 50 old people say great things about your dad
累死宝宝了
is exhausting.
拼命解释我不是你的佣人
Trying to convince them you're not the hired help
也不容易啊
is no picnic, either.
他们给你小费你不也收了吗
You didn't complain when they tipped you.
给钱当然要了
Money's money.
那个尤妮斯很风趣
That Eunice was a hoot.
因为我们解开了她氧气管的打结
After we straightened out the kink in her oxygen tube.
你♥爸♥那个75岁的表弟想约我出去
I got asked out by your dad's 75-year-old cousin.
当然他不停叫我埃丝特
Of course, he kept calling me Esther
还问我天堂是什么样子
and asking me what heaven was like.
我们不该在这么悲伤的场合说笑奥斯卡
We don't mean to laugh on such a sad occasion, Oscar.
不
Oh, no,
他希望我们笑的
he would have wanted us to laugh.
你了解他那个人
You know how he was.
他是最棒的
He was the best.
是啊我爱那个男人
Yeah, I loved that man.
所以你还好吧
So, how are you holding up?
还不错
Pretty good.
我很庆幸...
I feel lucky that we
我们去年恢复联络后关系变好了
were on good terms after we reconnected last year.
不客气
You're welcome.
我也经常联♥系♥他了
And I made sure to call him a lot.
我督促的
At my insistence.
互相之间该说的也都说了
And said all the things we needed to say.
还是我的功劳
Also me.
费里斯再多嘴
Felix, keep it up
下一次葬礼就给你办了
and you can be the next picture.
奥斯卡记住
Oscar, just remember,
哀悼这事可没那么简单
the grieving process can be tricky
可能比想象的时间要长
and it can take longer than you think.
是啊周二早上要不好过了
Yeah, Tuesday mornings are going to be rough.
我和沃尔特每周二都视频聊天
That's when Walter and I had our weekly video chats.
真的吗莫夫
Seriously, Murph?
是啊
Yeah.
我们俩去年开始变得很亲近
We got real close last year.
他称之为"周二莫菲有约"
He called it Tuesdays with Murphy.
好了好了兄弟
There, there, buddy.
我很遗憾我爸死了
I'm sorry my dad died.
来吃个棒棒糖
Here, have a sucker.
你到处都放了你♥爸♥的糖真好
I love how you put your dad's candy all over the place.
制♥作♥糖果就是他的一切
Well, making candy was his life.
他一定希望我们享用这些糖果
He would have wanted us to enjoy it.
感觉像所有节日都汇成一个啦
It's like every holiday rolled into one around here.
包括... 祭日
Oh, and death.
奥斯卡
Oscar.
你不记得你最近去看过牙医了吗
Need I remind you of your recent trip to the dentist?
她怎么说的
And what did she say, hmm?
你不该跟我一起进诊疗室吗
That you shouldn't be allowed in the exam room with me?
不是是你牙齿感染了要避免吃甜食
No, that your tooth was infected and to avoid sweets.
还好有我在确保你遵从医嘱
Luckily, I am here to make sure you follow her orders.
我记得她第一条嘱咐是
I believe her first order was,
"别在他嘴里瞎搅费里斯你不是牙医"
"Get away from his mouth, Felix, you're not a dentist."
奥斯卡该跟你♥爸♥的遗嘱律师视频了
Oscar, it's time for the video conference with your dad's lawyer.
各位我们收拾一下让他连线吧
Guys, why don't we give him some space and clean up.
我老婆问我什么时候回家
It's my wife asking when I'm going to be home.
"要花一点时间了"
"Gonna be a while."
"今天很伤感"
"Very emotional day."
那些迷你蛋饼给我留着
Ooh, I got dibs on the mini quiche!
我很担心奥斯卡
I'm worried about Oscar.
他表面上很勇敢
He's putting on his brave face,
但我能看出来他在逃避痛苦
but I can tell he's avoiding his pain--
牙痛和心里的痛
both dental and mental.
我觉得他应对得不错
I think he's coping pretty well.
比我强我要是他早就哭死了
Yeah, he's holding up better than I would be.
我手♥机♥没电就能哭半天
I cry when my phone dies.
你们看不出来但作为他最亲的朋友
You can't see it, but as his dearest friend,
我告诉你们他在大喊求安慰
I can tell you he is crying out for help.
我说不好
I don't know...
费里斯我需要你
Felix, I need you!
好好
Well, well.
我能为你做什么我脆弱的朋友
What can I do for you, my fragile friend?
让电脑连线律师啊
Make the lawyer face happen.
不是
Nope.
奥斯卡
Oscar?
我是斯坦利·巴恩斯
Stanley Barnes.
很高兴认识你
Nice to meet you,
但请你节哀顺变
though I'm sorry about the circumstances.
我很喜欢你♥爸♥
I loved your dad.
谢谢
Oh, thanks.
他确实够特别
He was one of a kind.
我们就直接说正题吧
So let's cut to the chase:
你父亲家财万贯
your father was a very wealthy man.
老有钱了
Crazy, crazy wealthy.
啥你确定吗
What? Are you sure?
是的而且他把财产都留给你了
Yes, and he's leaving it all to you.
全部300万美金和...
All $300 million and...
等下
Oh, wait.
不拿错文件了
No, wrong... wrong file.
这份才是
Ah, here we go.
你♥爸♥...
Your dad had...
身无分文
next to nothing.
是啊这才听着像我爸
Yeah, that's more like it.
他有最后一个请求
He did have one last request:
希望你能将他的骨灰撒进那条
that you scatter his ashes in the river
他第一间糖果工厂后面的河里
behind his first candy factory.
我记得那个地方
I remember that place.
小时候我们经常在那条河里游泳
When I was a kid we used to swim in that river.
直到我开始掉眉毛成绩也下降了
Until my eyebrows fell out and my grades started to drop.
多么感人的回忆
What a touching memory.
骨灰的事
So about the ashes--
你♥爸♥要求你跟一个人一起撒
your dad asked that you scatter them
她叫帕蒂·邓布罗夫斯基
with someone named Patty Dombrowski.
不是吧他以前的生意伙伴吗
Really? His old business partner?
他们都30年没联♥系♥了
They haven't spoken in 30 years.
很神秘啊
Ooh, mysterious.
怎么回事啊
What happened?
不知道但我们在家不能提帕蒂
I don't know, but Patty's name was forbidden around our house.
我们只能把最爱的薄荷糖叫"背叛薄荷糖"
We had to call our favorite mints "Peppermint betrayals."
我会将帕蒂的地址发给你
I'll email you Patty's address.
再说一次节哀顺变
Again, sorry for your loss.
但恭喜你继承了300万
But congratulations on the $300 million.
该死我又整错了
Oh damn, I did it again.
看来我得去找帕蒂搞定这事了
Well, guess I'll have to find Patty and take care of this.
那就下周吧
Maybe next week.
不奥斯卡奥斯卡
No-- Oscar, Oscar, Oscar.
你不能拖延这事
You can't put this off.
你需要以此宽慰才能走出伤痛
You need this closure as part of the healing process.
我已经宽慰了
I have closure.
我已经放下伤痛走向糖果了
I'm moving on to the candy part of the process.
好吧
Fine.
把口袋里的东西拿出来
I'm going to need you to empty your pockets.
上衣口袋
And your jacket.
内♥裤♥口袋里的玉米糖
And the candy corn in your underpants.
见鬼
Damn it!
好了老爹最后一趟旅行了
Okay, Pop, one last road trip.