布偶演播室（2015）

The Muppets S01E06

Part 1 March 12, 2021, 2:08 p.m.

我觉得这是自你们分手后我第一次见到你
I think this is the first time I've seen you since the breakup.
我看起来是不是美美哒
Don't I look great?
我从没感觉这么好过
I've never felt better.
我早就该和克米特分手了
I should've ended things with Kermit years ago.
什么我看了视频
What? I saw the video.
我以为是他把你给甩了的
I thought he broke up with you.
我还看你登上了百老汇呢这报道的真实程度又有多少
And I saw you on Broadway. How much of that was real?
哼
Huh!
恩克里斯汀·肯诺恩斯真是我的菜
Mm. That Kristin Chenoweth is a real dish.
你说我们对她来说是不是老了点儿
You think we're too old for her?
什么你冷吗
What? You're cold?
这是我的答案
There's my answer.
是啊我好冷
And yes, I am cold.
-倒计时一分钟 -好的准备开场咯
- One minute. - Okay, uh, get ready with the opening.
-准备 -准备开始咯
- Here we go. - Here we are.
天哪噜
Oh, my God.
哦哦嘿嘿丹尼丝你做到了
Oh, oh, hey, hey. Denise, you made it.
我的天哪她竟然来了克米特
Oh, my God. There she is, Kermit.
哦我知道你现在一定觉得
Oh, I know you think you're dating
自己在和一位成功的有线网络出品人交往
an accomplished network executive,
但其实我也就是个书呆子凑巧
but I am really just a giant nerd who is just
-还是克里斯汀·肯诺恩斯的头号♥粉丝 -啊哦
- Kristin Chenoweth's biggest fan! - Aw.
事实上我是肯诺恩斯头号♥粉丝站的站长
Actually, I own the domain name chenowethfannumberone.Com,
我们都知道这是个玩笑对吧
so we both know that's not true.
-如果不见她一面我会伤心欲绝的
- I'm gonna die if I do not meet her.
-什么呃 -哦克米特快介绍我们认识
- What? Uh... - Oh, Kermit, introduce us.
你爱我的你应该不想让我死掉吧
You love me. You don't want me to die.
不不当然不了我当然喜欢你生龙活虎的样子了
No, no, of course not. I-I love that you're alive.
呃这也是我最喜欢你的地方之一
Uh, that's one of my favorite things about you.
只是只是呃
I-it's just that, uh...
她现在很忙你知道吗
S-s-she's kind of busy right now, you know?
丹尼丝提醒我这份工作有多刺♥激♥
Denise reminds me how exciting this business can be,
每次她来探班的感觉都很好
so it's always nice when she comes to visit me at work...
除了当她和这个节目的大明星
Except when she's in the same room
同时也是我的前女友共处一室的时候
as the star of the show, who's also my ex-girlfriend.
呃
Uh...
我不想这她们有任何交集
I don't want those two worlds to collide.
真的不想
I really don't.
-哦不你是对的 -是啊
- Oh, no, you're right. - Yeah.
她正在那儿和猪猪讲话我过去一定很奇怪吧
And there she is with Piggy, and that would be weird.
-是的很奇怪 -是啊
- Weird, yeah. - Yeah.
-刚好我还要开会所以 -对你应该去
- I got that meeting anyway, so... - Yeah. Oh, Yeah.
当然了你快去开会吧
of course. You should probably go to that meeting.
别错过任何会议
Never miss a meeting.
所以那么一会儿见了亲亲
Um, well, I'll see you later, then, hon.
-好的拜 -拜克克
- Okay, bye. - Bye, Ker.
-再见 -走啦
- Bye. - Bye!
-嗯化险为夷 -是啊差点出事
- Mm. Bullet well-dodged. - Yeah, that was close.
我现在不去见她的话那我永远都没机会了
If I don't do it now, I am never gonna do it.
人生不能重来（YOLO:you only live once缩写)
Yolo!
她还是去了
And there she goes.
-告诉我谁帮你染的头发 -哦我的天哪
- So, tell me... who colors your hair? - Oh, my God.
天哪天哪天哪哦请原谅我猪猪
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh... Pardon me, Piggy.
我不是故意打断你们的但我必须要这么做
I don't mean to interrupt, but I just got to,
因为我一定要和你见一面肯诺恩斯小姐
because I have to meet you, Ms. Chenoweth.
哦真是太贴心了谢谢你
Oh, that is so sweet. Thank you.
-你叫什么名字 -礼节什么的都去死吧
- What's your name? - Oh, where are my manners?
-嗨我叫丹尼斯 -丹尼斯
- Hi. My name is Denise. - Denise.
我是市场营销部的
I'm in marketing at the network, and,
但我大学主修的是戏剧专业
actually, I was a theater major in college
读研的时候换了别的
till I went to get my master's, you know.
你知道的有些东西必须割舍因为我不是你
Had to let it go. But... but I am no Kristin Chenoweth.
等等我向你介绍自己了吗
Wait a minute... did I introduce myself?
-我我叫丹尼斯我 -你说过了
- M-my name's Denise, and I... - You did.
-你告诉我过你的名字了 -我说过了吗我竟然说过了
- You did. - I did. I did say that.
我记得那句话 “嗨我叫丹尼斯”
I remember saying, "Hi. My name's Denise."
-哦我靠我竟然说了三遍 -对啊你说了三遍
- Oh, shoot! I said it a third time! - Third time. Yeah.
-真是有所进步啊 -我的天哪
- Nice upgrade. - Oh, my God!
总之很开心见到你
Anyway, it has been a pleasure getting to know you,
我我我现在得走了
and I-I-I'm just gonna leave right now,
因为我根本停不住口
because I am still talking.
我也还听着
And I am still listening.
-是啊你一直在听谢谢克里斯汀啊 -哦你真是太好了
- Yes, you are. Thank you, Kristin. Ah... - Oh, you are so sweet!
过来宝贝我
Come on, sweetie. I-I
我觉得你把想说的都说完了
think you've said everything you want to say,
虽然可能还漏了点
and maybe some stuff you didn't.
这真是我人生中最美妙的时刻
It was the greatest moment of my life.
别再让我做刚才那么蠢的事了
Don't ever let me do something that stupid again.
相信我我不会再让你这样了
Trust me... I won't.
-那是 -对她是
- Is that... - Yes, it is.
-哦她真是太可爱了 -恩
- Ohh. She is so sweet. - Mm.
你刚才表现的真是宠辱不惊
And you handled yourself beautifully.
是因为我从不和小孩儿计较
Yeah, well... I am pretty great with kids.
恩好戏开场了
Hmm. Time to get things started.
欢迎再次回到节目现场
And we're back.
克里斯汀我们都有一副好嗓子
Kristin, we both have such beautiful voices.
-你知道如何锦上添花吗 -怎样
- You know what would've been nice? - What?
如果我们可以一起高歌♥一曲
If we'd had the time to sing something.
真是太棒了猪小姐
That would've been so nice, Miss Piggy.
为什么我们没提前准备一下呢
Why didn't we prepare something?
奏乐
Hit it!
克米特我帮你在克也那里预约了
So, Kermit, I got you a reservation at Katsuya
明天给丹尼斯过生日
for Denise's birthday tomorrow.
- 啊呃 - 我是不是也该挑一个礼物呢
- Uh-huh. - Am I supposed to pick up a gift, too?
或者说你觉得选礼物是你的私事
Or have you decided you want to be part of your own relationship?
哦不我没有给她准备礼物
Oh, no. I'm not getting her anything.
她说她不想要礼物
She said she didn't want a gift.
- 哦她这么说的吗 - 是的啊
- Oh, is that what she said? - Yeah.
呃还是让我来看看帮你解释解释女生的心思吧
Hmm. Let me look that up in my lady translator.
- 什么 - 嚯嚯嚯嚯
- What? - Boop-boop-boop-boop.
啊看吧她是想要礼物的
Ah, look at that.. She wants a gift.
- 真的吗 - 是的
- She does? - Yep.
呃好吧那我要准备什么呢
Well, w-what am I gonna do?
明天就是她生日了而且我很不会选礼物
Her birthday's tomorrow, and I'm a terrible gift giver.
这倒是啊
It's true.
去年圣诞节他给了我个大猩猩玩偶
Last year for Christmas, he got me a stuffed gorilla
只要有人一动它他还会唱《拯救巴鲁》
that sings "Jungle Boogie" Every time somebody moves.
哇哦你有用你的便利店奖励积分吗
Ooh! What'd you use... your CVS reward points?
我是只青蛙需要购置很多润肤霜
I'm a frog. I buy a lot of moisturizer.
呃好吧无论你要给她买♥♥什么都最好抓住她的心
Mm. Well, whatever you get her, it better blow her away.
如果她不感动的话你们之间会产生隔阂的
Because if she's unimpressed, the doubts will creep in,
然后感情很快就会灰飞烟灭
and your relationship will soon unravel,
就像这个线轴一样
like this spool of thread.
哦不会吧
Oh, no.
你你有什么好的建议吗
D-do you have any suggestions?
哦我不提供什么解决方案这是个戏剧性的问题
Oh, I don't present solutions... just dramatic problems.
哦天啊
Oh, boy.
- 哦她在那快来亲们 - 是啊是啊
- Oh. There she is. Come on, guys. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
哟呃肯诺恩斯等等
Yo, uh, Chenoweth. Wait up!
哦
Ohh!
哦你们表演的太有意思了
Oh, you guys, that was so much fun.
我一直想和你们合作
I've always wanted to perform with you.
哦哦动物总是想用活蛇来表演
Oh, oh! Animal always want to perform with live snakes!
除了大宝宝左特
But Zoot big baby.
哇哦那真是太棒了谢谢
Well, it was terrific. Thank you.
还要谢谢你跟我们一起
Well, thank you for singing with us
为弗洛伊德父母的结婚纪念日派对献唱
at Floyd's parents' anniversary party.
哦不客气
Well, you're welcome.
然而我并没搞清楚你在说什么
And also, I have no idea what you're talking about.
左特她还没同意呢
Zoot, she hasn't done that yet.