布偶演播室（2015）

The Muppets S01E04

Part 1 March 12, 2021, 2:08 p.m.

猪小姐将在几分钟后登场
Miss Piggy's gonna be coming out in a couple of minutes.
－好棒好棒－哦管它呢好棒
- Yeah. Yeah! - Oh. Whatever. Yeah!
那么在节目开始之前
So, before we start the show,
不如让我们给要出城的人几个
how about a tip or two for the out-of-towners
本地的交规贴士吧
about our driving regulations, huh?
在洛杉矶
Here in Los Angeles,
黄灯的意思是可以更新你的脸书状态
a yellow light means update your Facebook status.
啊
Ah!
我刚刚更新我的状态无聊
I just updated my Facebook status... bored!
－嘿这就是笑点
- Hey, this is where I make the jokes.
－我们随时准备大笑
- We're ready when you are.
没错
Yeah.
起哄的人该怎么处理
How do I deal with hecklers?
我是专业的这也是我工作的一部分
I'm a professional comedian. It's just part of the job.
只是这部分总让我无法完全欣赏自己
The part that keeps you from completely liking yourself.
这里的播送标准不会让我们放
Broadcast standards over here won't let us do the bit
猪猪跳进一桶巧克力布丁这样的情节
where Piggy jumps into a vat of chocolate pudding.
电视台担心
The network has concerns
小孩子可能也会在家里跳到一桶布丁里
that a child might jump into a vat of pudding at home
然后淹死
and drown.
谁会在家里放一桶布丁
Who has a vat of pudding at home?
你知道美国人总是和大份食品战斗
You know America struggles with portion size.
不好意思贡佐你知道的
Sorry, Gonzo. You know.
－哦嗯你好克米特－什么
- Oh, um, hey, Kermit? - Yeah?
呃下周五有个灵魂出窍的讲座
Uh, there's a lecture on astral projection next Friday.
哦哦所以你想要那天休假
Oh, oh, so you want the day off?
没我会来这儿的
No, I'll be here.
我想让你知道我也会在那儿的［本体在听讲座出窍的灵魂来上班］
I just wanted you to know that I'll be there, too.
嘿山姆
Hey, Sam.
嗯
Hmm.
所以呃还有别的事情吗
So, uh, anything else?
喂
Hello?
你听到了吗
Did you hear that?
珍妮丝刚刚说嘿山姆
Janice just said, "Hey, Sam."
那么这会意味着下面两件事的哪一个呢
Now, that could mean one of two things...
你好呀我的同事山姆
"Hello to you, my colleague Sam."
还是更明显的
Or the more obvious,
我对你爱爱爱不完
"I've loved you for a million lifetimes."
啊
Ahh...
哇
Whoa!
你知道的这把枪最好的一点就是
You know, the best thing about this gun
适用于所有被光膀子的家伙抢劫的场合
is it's handy if you're ever being robbed by a topless guy.
－哦
- Oh.
－哦那可不好－嗯很不好［这种枪完全没有杀伤力］
- Oh, that was bad. - Yeah, pretty bad.
好吧大家伙
All right, guys,
这是节目开场前的最后一件T恤
one last one before we start the show!
哈堵住了
Huh, jammed.
－哦我喜欢这个发展－哦没错
- Oh, oh, I like where this is going. - Oh, yeah.
哦
Aw.
不好意思大家这枪用不
Sorry, folks. It's just not wo...
哦
Oh!
哦哈我抢到T恤了
Oh. Ha! I got the T-shirt!
嘿斯塔斯塔特勒
Hey, Stat... Statler?
嗯至少我拿到T恤了
Hmm. At least I got the T-shirt.
嗯好戏开场了
Hmm. Time to get things started.
嘿斯塔特勒千万让他们带你去郡医院
Hey, Statler, make sure they take you to county medical.
他们的处方药都是随便给的
They're pretty loosey-goosey with the meds over there.
－克米特－哦天哪
- Kermit. - Oh, boy.
如果你需要掩盖这次事故
If you need help covering this up,
我可擅长藏东西了
I'm great at hiding things.
嘿福兹你还可以回去继续吗
Hey, Fozzie, are you gonna be okay to get back out there?
嗯我
Hmm? Me?
没错
Sure.
－我可是专家－好吧
- I'm a pro. - Okay.
我知道怎么完美地赢回大众的心
I know the perfect way to win back the crowd.
用我老式的弹弓
I'll bust out the old candy slingshot
给他们送硬糖就好－别别别别别别
- and some jawbreakers, yeah! - No, no. No, no, no, no.
福兹你赶紧出去讲笑话
Fozzie, just get out there and tell your jokes.
－没错－好吧
- Yeah. - All right.
－用枪射球怎么样－讲笑话
- What about gun balls? - Jokes!
哇哦你听说了吗
Oh. Did you hear?
观众中有个可怜的家伙
Some poor man in the crowd
被T恤给射到脸了
got shot in the face with a T-shirt.
－不可能吧－有什么好吃的
- No! - What's good to eat?
哦瑞士寿司
Ooh. En forgi soygan.
瑞士寿司那是什么鬼东西
Swedish Sushi? What the heck is that?
哦肉丸加上酱油
Ooh. Fer der meatball fer der soygan sauce.
呃这样吧我还是不吃了
Uh... You know what? I'm gonna pass.
－好吧－啊
- Okay. - Ugh.
哦我该咨♥询♥下
Oh, I shall inquire.
－不好意思波波先生－先生有什么事情吗
- Excuse me, Mr. Bobo. - Yes, sir.
工作人员还要在节目后一起去喝酒吗
Will the crew still be gathering for drinks after the show?
我打给罗夫他会给我们留位置
I called Rowlf and he's holding our table.
棒极了因为今晚
Excellent! Because this evening,
我的博士学位代指不醉不归［两者的缩写一致］
my PhD stands for "Pretty hard drinking."
哦
Oh.
－不是啦－它指的是
- Not really. It refers to
我的进阶学术学位－哦
- my advanced academic degree. - Oh.
哦
Oh.
大厨
Chef.
是不是所有人都要在节目结束后出去聚会
Does everyone go out after the show?
呃
Erhhhh...
克米特
Kermit!
- 克米特 - 去吧
- Kermit! - Got it.
- 是猪小姐 - 她在那儿
- It's Miss Piggy! - There she is!
克大家好
- Ker... hello, everyone. -
-克米特我们需要谈谈 - 额不用担心猪猪
- Kermit, I need to talk with you. - Well, d-don't worry, Piggy.
我觉得他找到假牙之前是不会控告我们的
I don't think he's gonna sue as long as we find his teeth.
找到了
Got 'em!
大家看我我是布莱德利库珀
Look at me. I'm Bradley Coopers.
看来我们找到了
I guess we found them.
你知道节目结束后全体工作人员都要出去聚会吗
Did you know the crew goes out after the show
- 但是他们没有邀请我 - 噢
- and they've never invited me? - Oh.
- 呃是的是的我跟你说 - 什么什么
- Uh, yeah, yeah. Let's talk. - What? What?
听着猪猪你知道吗他们也没有邀请我去
Listen, Piggy, they don't invite me, either, you know?
他们不想大老板们也出席
They don't want the bosses there.
就让他们在他们的聚会上发发工作上的牢骚吧
It's their time to blow off some steam about work.
哦嗨伙伴们伙伴们
Oh, hey, everybody! Everybody!
贝克模仿猪猪超像
Beaker does the best Piggy.
看这个
Watch this.
哦猪猪小姐你要来点什么吗
"Oh, Miss Piggy, can I get you anything?"
我我我我我（法语）
Me, me, me, me, moi.
我我我我我我我我我我我
Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me!
哦感觉就像她也来这儿了
- - Oh! It's like she's in the room.
相信我你不会想去的
Trust me, you don't want to go.
我当然不想去
Of course I don't want to go.
他们的东西就像小面包和脏衣筐
They own things like mini vans and laundry baskets.
我只是想被邀请你去给他们说说
I just want to be asked. Make it happen.
等下等下
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
你想让我去命令我的部下邀请你参加聚会
You want me to force the crew to ask you out
- 然后你就有机会去拒绝他们 - 是的
- just so you can say no? - Yeah.
猪猪理性点吧
Piggy, be rational.
哦克米特
Oh, Kermit,
那样的话就不像我了
that doesn't sound like me at all.
哦你来自哪里啊先生
Ah, where are you from, sir?
- 菲尼克斯 - 菲尼克斯哈
- Phoenix. - Phoenix, huh?
你知道的菲尼克斯很热的
You know, it's so hot in Phoenix that...
哦谁关心这个哦
Oh, who cares?
我们自己都命悬一线了
We're all just hanging by a thread.
没有人知道明天会发生什么
Tomorrow's promised to no one.