布偶演播室（2015）

The Muppets S01E05

Part 2 March 12, 2021, 2:08 p.m.

哼
Hmm.
唔嗨猪猪
Uh, hey, Piggy?
-她正在脱她的塑身衣呢 -噢
- She's just getting out of her Spanx. - Oh.
这对瑞茜来说都特别紧
Extra tight for Reese.
啊好吧
Ah. Okay.
-噢拿好了 -嗯
- Oh. Here you go. - Mm.
噢你今晚真是太拼了
Oh, you've worked very hard tonight.
真棒
Brava!
-喔吼 -唔听着猪猪
- Whoo! - Uh, listen, Piggy,
你能别和瑞茜一起建房♥子吗
will you please not try to build a house with Reese?
你这么做的用意都是不对的
You're doing this for all the wrong reasons.
不我才没有呢我这么做
No, I'm not. I'm doing
是为了在媒体面前揭穿瑞茜的真面目
this to show up Reese in front of the press.
-可那是 -一个完美的理由
- But that's... - A perfect reason.
-不那是 -一个完美的理由
- No, it's... - A perfect reason!
-说出来 -绝对不说
- Say it. - Absolutely not.
好吧那我替你说
All right. I'll say it for you, then.
喔喔 “一个完美的理由”
Whoop! "A perfect reason!"
你看我就知道你会想明白的
See, I knew you'd come around.
谢谢你来看我啦
Well, thanks for stopping by.
-和你聊天一直都很愉快唷 -猪猪
- Always a pleasure! - Piggy!
猪猪
Piggy!
这就是为啥我一直带着雨靴
And that is why I always carry galoshes.
这是这是什么鬼他说过他会讲新段子的
What... what is this? He said he'd be doing new stuff.
是啊他的段子都太俗气了
Si. His jokes are so cheesy.
噢这话居然出自穿高领毛衣戴金链子的虾之口
Oh, says the shrimp in the turtleneck and gold chain.
你看起来好像在拍男孩男人合唱团的视频[讽刺老土]
You look like you're in a Boyz II Men video.
嗨穿成这样是为了得到想要的工作好吧
Hey, you dress for the job you want to have, okay.
那么还发生了什么事呢
So, what else is going on?
我有了一个新女朋友对哒对哒
I have a new girlfriend. Yeah, yeah.
她名字叫贝姬她很聪明风趣性感
Her name's Becky. She's smart, funny... sexy.
噢天了噜那是关于我的
Oh, my God. That's about me!
不过有一个小问题
There's just one little issue...
她流起汗来像伐木工人在桑拿房♥里吃印度菜一样
She sweats like a lumberjack eating Indian food in a sauna!
不过也情有可原啦
It makes sense, though.
贝姬的母亲是荷兰人而她父亲是负责给草坪洒水的
Becky's mother's Dutch and her dad's a lawn sprinkler.
那天晚上我们抱在一起看着电影
The other night we were just cuddled up, watching a movie.
那感觉简直就像是坐在一个人形滑梯上面一样
It was like I was riding a human slip 'n slide!
她怎么了她现在可是焦点诶
What's the matter with her? She's the star of the show.
你一点都不懂女人
You know nothing about the women, okay.
我让你去读我那讲浪漫的博客
I told you to read my romance blog,
可是你就不你偏要玩你那些小火车
but, no, you have to play with your little trains.
什么你今晚也和我们一样在这里啊你能好到哪儿去
What? You're here with us tonight. How good are you doin'?
即使是上帝周日也要休息的
Even God rested on Sunday.
好啦我的时间结束了
Well, that's my time.
你们太给力了
You've been a great crowd.
我要回家陪我的女朋友了
I'm headed home to be with my girlfriend.
嗨甜心
Hey, sweetheart.
我们先提前道歉
We apologize for this in advance, okay?
-对不起了啊 -喔喔喔
- Sorry. - Whoo!
耶你简直秒杀全场啊弗兹
Yeah! You killed it, Fozzie!
-那简直太棒了 -特别赞的段子
- That was great! - Great stuff.
非常有趣
Very funny.
瑞茜先是用她的奥斯卡甩了我一脸
First, Reese throws her Oscar in my face.
然后用她的慈善工作拜托
Then, her charity work? Please!
我比她更像特蕾莎修女好吗
I'm more like mother Teresa than she'll ever be.
我看过一次关于特蕾莎修女的纪录片
I saw a documentary once about mother Teresa.
她当时和呃麻风病患者一起
She was doing work with the, um, lepers
或者是肝炎患者还是额不知道是什么鬼
or hepatitis or... ah, something.
而我学到的就是
And here's what I learned...
慈善工作最重要的是出场要霸气
charity work is all about the entrance.
大家好呀人类们
Hello, humanity!
哼媒体出动的似乎有点少惹
Huh. Kind of a light turnout by the press.
噢他们在那儿
Oh, there they are.
哟吼摄影师
Yoo-hoo, cameraman!
不我只是个测量员
No, I'm the surveyor.
好吧测量显示老娘美炸啦
Well, survey says... I'm fabulous!
噢等等如果我摆一个撅嘴的表情
Oh, wait. Would it be better if I did a pouty face
会不会显得更关心人类啊
to look concerned for humanity?
女士你的工作地点在那边
Ma'am, your work site's over there.
是吗喔
Hmm? Oh.
谢谢你
Thank you.
我不介意你在我走开的时候拍几张我的照片哦
And I won't mind if you snap a few while I walk away.
这些照片很值钱的
That is the money.
噢嘿猪猪
Oh, hey, Piggy!
噢你好呀瑞茜·威瑟斯彭
Oh, hey, Reese Witherspoon!
你居然穿着
You came to work...
山羊皮细高跟短靴来工作
In your ultra suede stiletto work booties?
额我想你是很诧异我平时都穿这么美的鞋子
Uh... I think you mean ultra suede stiletto booties
工作的吧
that I worrrrk!

好吧猪猪额这里没有被拍的机会
Okay, Piggy. Um, this is not a photo op.
这里是没有媒体的我们是来建房♥子的
There's no press here. We just came to build houses.
噢我知道啊
Oh. Well, I knew that.
不然我♥干♥嘛要来啊
That's the only reason I showed up.
好吧很好那我们开始工作吧
Okay, great. Well, then let's get to work.
好的
All right, then.
哇
Hmph!
好吧
Okay.
我可以的
Here we go.
额是的
Uh, yes, is
这是爆料专线吗
this where you leave tips for extra?
嗯我是个建筑工人
Yeah, I'm a construction worker
我在托潘加仁人家园的工地这里
out here at the Habitat for Humanity site on Topanga,
你一定不会相信谁来帮我们了
and you're not gonna believe who showed up to help us.
就是美得让人不敢相信的猪猪小姐
The incredibly beautiful Miss Piggy!
噢还有瑞茜·威瑟斯彭
Oh, and Reese Witherspoon, who
她看起来就像是刚起床的
looks like she just rolled out of bed.
噢快来
Oh! Come quick. Gotta...
我要挂了
Gotta go!
噢你好啊瑞茜
Oh, hello, Reese!
我刚搞定这个小小的池边小屋呢
I was just finishing the little pool house!
我马上就好了
I'll be out in a minute!
你在用一个粉色的小锤子
You're banging on a porta-potty
敲打一个可移♥动♥的厕所
with a pink, bedazzled hammer.
这是个池边小屋
It's a pool house,
我刚刚正在检查它符不符合安全标准
and I was bringing it up to code.
你们能不能去别的地方聊天啊
Can you guys talk somewhere else?
噢快穿上你的泳衣别多管闲事
Oh, put on your bathing suit and mind your own business!
好了听好了如果你有公主病
Okay, look. If you're too soft,
太娇弱懒惰而做不来体力活的话
spoiled, and lazy to do manual labor,
你就回家好了我不会对你有什么意见的
then you should just go home. I'm not judging you.
听着美丽跷佳人[瑞茜主演的电影]
Look, sweet home Alabama,
我知道用我的双手劳动是什么感受
I know what it's like to work with my hands.
我是在农场里长大的我可是建过牛挤过篱笆的奶的[猪猪把两件事情弄混了]
I grew up on a farm. I built cows and milked fences.
-我想你说的是 -不这就是我所做的
- I think you mean that you... - No! That's what I did!
我无论什么时候都会做得比你好的
I will outwork you any day of the week.
除了星期二因为我要做高温瑜珈
Except Tuesday, because I have hot yoga.
听着猪猪这是慈善事业
Look, Piggy. This is a charity,
不是什么比赛
not some sort of personal competition.
也就是说你别想超过我
That said... you're going down.
什么
What?
我才不怕猪猪小姐
I'm not afraid of Miss Piggy.
她不知道她的对手有多强大
She doesn't know what she's up against.
我是说你有看过我的电影《涉足荒野》吗
I mean, did you see my movie "Wild"?
在那电影里我可是跋山涉水了超久的所以
I did all my own walking in that movie, so...
天呐
Boy.
这样吧不如我来写结尾
Okay. Why don't I write the ending,
你写中间的部分然后你写开头
you write the middle, and you write the beginning?
额那我怎么知道什么时候要停下来啊
Well, how would I know when to stop?
-唔说得有道理 -嗯