最后一个男人（2015）

The Last Man On Earth S02E15

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 1:56 p.m.

Oh, that, that wasn't a dream,
那那不是个梦
Sally... Sally... Sally...
莎莉莎莉莎莉
Oh, that's not funny. I thought it...
不好笑啦我觉得
Good morning.
早上好
I didn't mean to scare you.
我没想吓你
Tandy, are you wearing makeup?
坦迪你这是化了妆吗
Oh, yeah,
没错
and I'm also wearing a dress and heels, Gail.
我还穿了裙子和高跟鞋呢盖尔
"Am I wearing makeup?"
我是化了妆吗
But seriously, though, everyone sleep well?
不说这个了大家睡得还好吗
Huh? Mike?
迈克
Yeah, slept like a rock.
一夜好眠
Really?
真的吗
I actually tried out this new,
我去试了试
uh, house down the road here.
街尽头的那栋房♥子
Oh, you did, now?
是吗
You did, now, huh.
是哦
So, uh, bring that, uh, sleeping bag with you?
那你有带上那个睡袋吗
No. No, didn't need it.
没有我又不需要
No, I slept in a bed like a big boy.
我像个大人一样睡在床上
Truth be told,
说实话
it was sad being so far away from you.
离你这么远挺伤心的
Yeah, it made me real blue.
搞得我很伤感[蓝色]
I'm sure it did. It did.
我觉得也是肯定是
So where is this new place?
那你的新家在哪儿
Local.
不太远
I'm gonna need an exact address, bro.
你得告诉我具体地址啊老弟
I mean, how am I gonna get you your Christmas cards?
不然呢我怎么给你送圣诞贺卡呢
Well, I'll have to show it to you sometime.
总有一天我会带你去的
I'm dying to have you over.
我迫切想请你去
I'd like that.
不胜荣幸
Really, it's like there's makeup on top of blue ink.
说真的我感觉那个粉底是涂在蓝墨水上的
It's called a suntan, guys, I mean...
这叫古铜色大伙
You never seen a suntan before?
你们都没见过古铜色吗
So, uh, Gail and I had sex twice,
在我来之前
right before I came over.
我和盖尔啪了两次
She had me trying out some new maneuves,
她让我试了一些新姿势
and we did that thing where, uh,
然后我们试了那个姿势
you hold the woman upside down around the waist, uh...
就是你把着女人的腰把她倒提着
God, I know there's a name for it... uh, it was...
我知道这个的术语叫什么的叫...
Todd, I don't... I don't want to talk about that.
陶德我不想谈这个
Well, I-I just want to be completely honest
我只是想对你完全坦诚
with you, hon, because, uh, Gail said that
亲爱的因为盖尔跟我说
that's the only way that this is gonna work.
只有这样我们的关系才能维系下去
Look, Todd, I already only have you 50% of the time,
陶德我本来就只能占据你一半的时间了
I don't want to spend that time talking about Gail.
我不想花这些时间来谈论盖尔
No, yeah, no, absolutely, you know,
你说得对你说得对
and you deserve 100% of that 50%.
这一半的时间都应该花在你身上
Y... although, remember, I do have to shave off
虽然我确实需要腾出一点点时间
a little slice for Erica's baby.
来陪艾瑞卡的孩子
Y... d... say 20%.
就五分之一的时间吧
Uh, are you sure you're not taking on
你确定你现在没有
more than you can handle?
超出负荷吗
Uh, you-you can't be all things to all people.
你不可能是所有人的贴心大哥哥的
Look, you are my priority.
在我心中你最重要
You're my number one.
你在我心中是第一位
M-m-my co-number one.
共同第一
And-and-and you deserve, you know,
你值得...
uh, exactly, uh,
确切的说
uh, b-between...
大概
40 and-and 50% of me.
百分之四十到五十的我
So romantic.
你真浪漫
Gotcha.
抓住你了
Ah, it's go time.
行动
This oak is poison.
这藤蔓可有毒了
Howdy, Phil.
你好啊菲尔
Mike, what a pleasant surprise,geez,
迈克看到你真是惊喜啊老天
to say the least, yeah.
真的毫不夸张
So, uh, uh, this your new place?
这是你的新家
Yeah, not bad, huh?
是啊不错吧
What's the, uh, deal
这些水瓶什么的
with all the-the water bottles and such?
是怎么回事
Oh, yeah, this is just a little
这不过是我装置的一些
home security system I rigged up.
房♥屋安全系统而已
Why would you need something like that?
你用那个干什么
No reason.
没什么
See you got your little suit on, huh?
看来你变装了啊
Laundry day.
今天衣服都洗了
Can I help you?
有什么事吗
No, I'm just, you know, I'm just out here,
没事我就来看看
doing my neighborhood watch program.
照顾一下邻居
Yeah, I'm actually a block captain.
其实我是社区领导
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
是吗是的
Uh, just, uh, sweeping the perimeter
就查看一下周边
to make sure everything's secure.
确保一切安全
Clear!
安全
See, it's funny, 'cause it kinda looks like
说来有意思你好像
you were gonna put poison oak in my bed.
想把毒藤放到我床上
That's loco, man.
胡说什么老弟
You're friggin' paranoid.
你是不是有被害妄想症
A friggin' block captain, uh,
我堂堂社区领导
putting poison oak in your bed?
会往你床上放毒藤吗
Uh, that's the kind of stuff I'm trying to stop, dude.
我的目的是想阻止这种事发生的老弟
Yeah.
好啊
Wh-What's in the bag, then?
那你袋子里是什么
You know, uh,
这个啊
just, uh, nothing, you know.
没什么
See, I think that it's poison oak.
我觉得那就是毒藤
Well, then you're a friggin' idiot,
你是白♥痴♥吗
'cause this was gonna be a housewarming gift for you.
这明明是祝贺你乔迁新居的礼物
Hmm.
是吗
I guess I'm a little confused.
我有点困惑
Why would my older brother get me
我哥哥为什么会
poison oak as a housewarming gift?
送给我毒藤当乔迁礼物
It's not poison oak, Mike!
这不是毒藤迈克
Why don't you look me in the eyes and say that.
你看着我的眼睛然后再说
It's not poison oak...
这不是毒藤...
Mike.
迈克
Then why don't you go ahead and rub it on your balls for me?
那你为什么不往自己的蛋蛋上搓一搓来证明
Fine.
搓就搓
You happy now?
你现在开心了吧
Outside the bag.
拿出来
Under the suit.
放进去
Directly on your balls.
直接搓到你蛋蛋上
I know it's poison oak, Skidmark.
我就知道是毒藤飞机残夜
I know it up here,
我很清楚
and you know it.
你知道的
And I'm gonna get you back.
我一定会报仇的
How dare you!
岂有此理
Oh, relax, it's only the fourth one.
放松这才第四次呢
See?
看到了吗
I can't believe you just threw sand at me.
你竟然朝我扔沙子
I'm gonna have to get you back for that one.
这个我也要报仇的呦
Oh, you...
你...
Oh, I forgot, I have something for you.
差点忘了我有东西给你
You have some nerve!
你简直是活腻了
The fourth one.
第四次
Here, eat sand.
给你吃沙子
No, the fourth one.
才第四次
Mike! I didn't even hit you with the sand, man!
迈克我扔的沙子根本没打到你