最后一个男人（2015）

The Last Man On Earth S02E07

Part 1 Dec. 2, 2020, 1:54 p.m.

Previously on The Last Man on Earth...
《最后一个男人》前情提要
Carol... chose... me!
卡萝尔选了我
You need to be punished!
你需要接受惩罚
No.
不
I'm leaving Malibu.
我要离开马里布
Carol,
卡萝尔
will you come with me?
你愿意跟我一起走吗
I'm pregnant, Phil.
我怀孕了菲尔
What?
什么
What did she say? Not now.
她说什么别说话
I'm sorry, I didn't hear, and Tandy won't...
抱歉我没听清坦迪又不...
She said she's pregnant. I'm pregnant.
她说她怀孕了我怀孕了
Congratulations.
恭喜你
Eri-Erica!
艾瑞艾瑞卡
I think you've said enough for one day.
你今天已经说得够多了
Phil, I'm gonna have to pass on your offer
菲尔我还是决定
to run away with you. So...
不和你私奔了所以...
My God.
天呐
That did not go well for you.
你可真倒霉哦
You really blew it.
你真的搞砸了
Talk about a face-plant, huh?
脸疼不疼
Okay, that's enough. Try to take my woman.
别说了竟然妄想我的女人
Facial!
打脸啪啪啪
Facial express. Tandy. Tandy. Stop it.
噢脸好疼坦迪坦迪够了
Burn. Be the bigger man about this.
哈哈成熟点
What?
怎么了
It'll be fine. I promise.
会好起来的我保证
Erica,
艾瑞卡
I'm sorry about what I said to Carol.
很抱歉我对卡萝尔说了那些话
If I had known about your situation, I would have...
我要是知道你是这个情况的话...
never said that.
我绝不会说那些话的
So we're calling this a situation?
所以这对你而言只是个情况而已咯
No, no, no. Bad-bad choice of words. I just...
不不不是我说错话了我只是...
Look, we're in this weird place right now.
听着我们现在处境非常尴尬
Weird place?
处境尴尬
Phil, I'm having a frigging baby.
菲尔我肚子里有个孩子
I think you'd better leave now.
我看你最好还是先出去吧
Gail, please, this is between me and Erica.
盖尔这是我和艾瑞卡的事
There is nothing between you and Erica anymore.
你和艾瑞卡之间什么也没有了
You made that perfectly clear
你说得可清楚了
when you confessed your love to Carol not five minutes ago.
你五分钟之前不还在对卡萝尔表白吗
I'm the father of her child.
我是她孩子的父亲
Not anymore. What?
不再是了你说什么
Oh, it'll have a father. Just not you.
孩子会有父亲的只是不是你而已
The whole group is gonna be the father.
我们大家都会是这个孩子的父亲
Are we done here?
说清楚了吗
I'm not going anywhere until I hear this from her.
她不亲口跟我说我是不会走的
Okay. I think I heard her say, "We're done."
我听到她说我们结束了
You have a nice day, you hear? Erica...
祝你一切顺利艾瑞卡
Can you believe that guy?
你敢信吗
He beats me up, he tries to steal my wife
他打了我一顿让艾瑞卡怀孕了
while he's got a bun in Erica's oven.
竟然还试图抢走我老婆
What a friggin' dong.
真是个混♥蛋♥
Well, that's the dong
正是这个混♥蛋♥
that's gonna get you back into this community.
让你重新融入了这个集体
You should be kissing that dong.
你应该好好感谢这个混♥蛋♥
Why should I be kissing that dong?
我为什么要感谢那个混♥蛋♥
I should be friggin' punching that dong.
我该狠狠揍那个混♥蛋♥一拳
Have you ever seen those dogs with no back legs
你见过那些没有后腿的狗吗
so they give 'em the little wheels to scoot around on?
人们会给它们安上小轮子以便它们四处走动
It's the cutest thing ever, right?
那真是再可爱不过了对吧
I'm not really seeing the connection here.
这有什么联♥系♥吗
People love wounded animals,
人们喜欢受伤的动物
and that's you now.
你现在就是这个处境
Your face is like those crippled little puppy legs,
你的脸就像是那些瘸腿小狗的腿
and you just got to roll around on the sidewalk for a while
你只需要在人行道上到处走走
to make everybody feel sorry for you.
就可以让大家都同情你
Sorry, Carol, no, okay? If I want people to trust me,
抱歉卡萝尔我不干我要是想让人相信我
I got to do this the right way, okay?
我会堂堂正正的好吗
And I'm not gonna play the sympathy card.
我绝不打同情牌
Good God.
老天
Somebody have, like, an aspirin or a pain reducer
有人有阿司匹林或者止痛剂什么的吗
or, like, a-a time machine?
有时光机也行啊
As if.
有就好了
It comes in waves.
这痛感真是一阵阵的
Unfortunately, it's high tide right now, but...
现在正是疼得厉害的时候但是...
I'm fine though. I'm fine.
我没事的我没事
Can we just change the subject?
我们能换个话题吗
Look at him, not wanting to talk about himself again.
看呐他不愿意谈自己了
Have you guys noticed that?
你们有注意到吗
That eye does look pretty grim.
你的眼睛看起来很不好
Thanks, Melissa.
谢谢你梅丽莎
So, Erica, have you thought of any baby names yet?
艾瑞卡你有想好给宝宝取什么名字吗
No.
没呢
Well, if you could just steer clear of the name Yorbalinda,
你要是不起尤巴林达这个名字的话
I'd appreciate it.
我会很高兴的
Not a problem.
没问题
And also Beziqueel.
还有巴兹奎尔
Won't be an issue.
绝对没问题
You know, I always hoped Yorbalinda would be the first baby
我一直期望这个新世界诞生的第一个孩子
of this new world.
会是尤巴林达
But Tandy and I won't be far behind, and...
但坦迪和我不会落后很多的
and, if I'm being honest,
如果我说实话的话
getting to watch you have a baby first
能看着你生下第一个孩子
will really calm my nerves.
真的会让我淡定许多
What a luxury for you.
真好啊
Erica, can I, uh, talk to you for a second?
艾瑞卡我能和你聊聊吗
Anything you have to say to her,
不管你要对她说什么
you can say to the whole group.
你都可以对大家伙说
Fine. I made something for you.
好吧我给你做了个东西
It's in the pool house. I'd love to...
在游泳池边的小屋里我很想...
love to show it to you.
很想给你看看
Yeah, she won't be doing that.
她不去
So get along.
滚吧
What a turd.
真是个混球
I think he's almost worse than Tandy.
他几乎和坦迪一样混♥蛋♥了
Seriously, Gail?
不会吧盖尔
Almost worse than me?
几乎和我一样
Thank you.
谢谢你哦
Look at this guy.
看看他啊
Friggin' dip.
让你想走
How does it feel to be yesterday's news, huh?
成为昨天头条新闻的感觉如何啊
And I'm the hot topic.
我才是全球热闻
"This just in, Phil's worse than Tandy.
插播一条新闻菲尔比坦迪更坏
Now over to the weather."
现在继续播报天气
"Grey skies for that dong.
那混♥蛋♥头顶乌云罩顶啊
Clear skies in Tandyville. Back to you, Bob."
而坦迪村天气大好该你了鲍勃
"Thanks, Tabitha. In local news,
谢谢塔比瑟本地新闻
no one cares what's in your friggin' house, you jagweed."
没人在乎你家里有啥自私鬼
What's in your house, you friggin' jagweed?
你家里到底有什么啊自私鬼
What are you doing in there, you friggin' idiot, huh?
你在这里干什么蠢货
You practicing your weak punches,
练习你那不堪一击的拳法
pledging your love to other people's wives?
还是在对别人的老婆示爱
Sitting sadly amongst a bunch of baby furnite
悲伤的坐在一堆你给自己未出生的孩子
you made for your unborn child?
做的儿童家具中间吗
No. I don't feel bad for you,
不我一点也不同情你
you friggin' sad, sad man.
你这个可悲的人
Who needs someone right now.
你现在需要安慰了吧
Oh, God.
老天
Jerk.
混♥蛋♥