最后一个男人（2015）

The Last Man On Earth S02E14

Part 1 Dec. 2, 2020, 1:56 p.m.

Previously on The Last Man on Earth...
《最后一个男人》前情提要
I can't believe I'm sterile.
真不敢相信我不育
I've been having sex all day with both Melissa and Gail.
我今天一直在跟梅丽莎和盖尔搞来搞去
Before Phil died, he told me
菲尔去世前
that he wanted you
跟我说他想
to help be the father to the baby.
让你帮忙成为孩子的父亲
You monster!
你这个禽兽
Look!
看
You have the nerve to show your face around here.
你竟然有脸来这里
What is your problem, you friggin' turd.
你搞什么啊混球
Oh, come on.
来啊
Don't play dumb with me, you dong.
别跟我装傻你这混♥蛋♥
She was my frigging girlfriend.
她可是我女朋友
Whoa, hold on a second.
等等
Are you talking about Christine?
你是说克丽丝汀吗
I come down from space,
全世界的人都死绝了
after everyone in the whole world has died,
我刚从太空回到地球
and you're talking about Christine?!
你竟然跟我说克丽丝汀
I'm talking about Christine.
我就说克丽丝汀怎么了
She wasn't your girlfriend.
她不是你女朋友
I loved her!
我爱她
I called dibs and you know it.
我跟你说过你明明知道的
Stop! Stop!
住手住手
Sand! I'm not hungry.
吃沙吧你我不饿
Eat some frigging sand.
你给我吃
No, no.
不
Eat it.
你给我吃
Eat it.
你给我吃
Let go of me, stop it.
放开我你住手
I am sorry.
对不起
Phil, I'm sorry, okay?
菲尔对不起好不好
I had no idea you were still hanging on to this.
我完全不知道你还对此耿耿不忘
I am not hanging on to anything.
我可没耿耿不忘
For the last three years,
过去的三年
I have been stuck up there,
我一直困在太空里
and all I have thought about is you.
我每天想的都是你
And now I'm here.
现在我来了
And we're together.
我们团聚了
We shouldn't be fighting.
我们不应该打架
We're supposed to be celebrating.
我们应该庆祝才对
This is a miracle.
这是个奇迹
This is amazing. Right?
这简直不可思议好吗
I'm so sorry.
对不起
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
对不起对不起
Hey, guys,
大家伙
this is my little brother, Mike.
这是我弟弟迈克
It's nice meeting you guys.
很高兴见到你们
So then, once I got to Tucson,
然后我一到图森
I-I-I went straight to Phil's apartment
我就直接去了菲尔的公♥寓♥
and it actually smelled pretty good,
闻起来味道还挺不错
so I knew this guy hadn't been there in a while.
然后我就知道这家伙肯定有段时间没在那里了
But I knew that if Phil was going to stay in Tucson,
但我知道如果菲尔要留在图森的话
he probably would have moved to Bonita Estates.
他八成会去宝妮塔别♥墅♥群
See, he had a real boner
他真的大爱那个
for this Arena Football League player.
室内橄榄球联盟的球员
You remember that? What was his name?
你还记得吗他叫什么
He used to live there, wh...?
他原来住在那里
Brent Junkins.
布伦特·詹金斯
Brent Junkins, that's right.
布伦特·詹金斯没错
Yeah, oh, man, he was obsessed.
他超级喜欢他
He used to spy on him from across the canyon
他原来会穿着一身奇装异服
using those, those fancy, uh, binoculars
然后用那个高级的双筒望远镜
and wearing that, that, that, that crazy outfit.
从峡谷的一边偷偷监视他
What was that called?
你穿的那个衣服叫啥
A ghillie suit.
花边套装
Ghillie suit, right.
花边套装没错
Oh, it's disgusting.
超丑的
It looked like a used mop.
看起来就像是用过的抹布
Or a cleanlooking suit. We've seen it.
其实是个挺干净的套装啦我们见过
Anyway, once I got there, I, I found a note that said,
我一去就看到一张便签上面写着
"We're in Malibu," Right?
我们在马里布对吧
Melissa left that note for us.
那个便签是梅丽莎留给我们的
Well, thank God you did,
幸好你留了便签
'cause that's how I ended up here.
我就是靠着那个找来的
Hey, we are so glad you did.
我们也很高兴你能来
Uh, you know, I want to take a moment to just, uh,
我想花点时间
apologize to all you guys about that stuff on the beach earlier.
向你们为我们俩之前在沙滩上的行为道歉
Uh, you know, just so you all know, there was this situation
你们要知道我和迈克之间
between Mike and I where, uh,
之前有这么一件事
I had liked this woman, uh, quite a bit,
我之前真的很喜欢一个女人
yes, and uh, then Mike, uh,
没错然后迈克
kind of, then went in, and fooled around with her.
就插足进来天天撩她
Uh, fully boned her, if I'm not mistaken.
如果我们记错的话总是纠缠她
Is that, uh, would that be, uh,
这样形容
the way to, uh, to characterize that?
是对的吧
Well, I don't know if I'd put it like that.
我大概不会这样形容
Oh, uh, uh, sorry.
抱歉
Made love to?
和她啪啪啪了
Don't know if I'd put it like that, either.
我大概也不会这样形容
But, uh, you know, somewhere in between, uh,
但是你也知道就是介于
making love and-and boning, yeah?
啪啪啪和纠缠之间
Yeah, I'm comfortable with that.
这样说不错
Anyway, you know,
反正
I thought that I had been, uh,
我以为我之前已经
pretty clear with my intentions,
把我的意图表示得很明显了
but I, I guess not,
但是可能不够明显
and that's, uh, that's on me, of course.
当然这怪我
And then, you know, uh, uh, Mike uh, you know,
然后你知道迈克
kind of cowardly went up into, uh, space after that.
之后有点像懦夫一样逃去了太空
We didn't get a chance to resolve that, uh,
我们没能解决这问题
but, uh, you know, thank God you're, you're here now.
但谢天谢地你来了
To resolved issues.
敬问题解决了
Hear, hear.
干杯
Cheers. Cheers.
干杯干杯
Cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers.
干杯干杯干杯干杯
I want to hear more about this space stuff.
我想多了解一点太空的事情
Yeah, you know, I was mostly there just to do research.
我基本上只是去做研究的
Yeah, but I... still, you went to space. You know?
没错但是你还是去了太空啊
Yeah, no, I did, but I mean, so did chimps, right?
没错我是去了但大猩猩也去了啊
Being modest.
别谦虚了
You know, and speaking of hairy animals,
说到长毛动物
what's with the beard, Sasquatch?
你这胡子是什么鬼大野人
Hey, I think Tandy's beard is sexy.
我觉得坦迪的胡子可性感了
Thank you, Carol.
谢谢你卡萝尔
And why is everybody using your middle name?
为什么大家都叫你的中间名
Wh... uh, funny story, tragic story.
说来话长这是个搞笑又悲伤的故事
You know, I'm surprised that people
其实我挺惊讶的
aren't calling you by your nickname.
大家竟然没叫你的昵称
Well, that was, uh, a long time ago.
那可是很久以前的事了
And what was Tandy's nickname?
坦迪的昵称是啥
Nobody wants to know about that.
大家对这个不感兴趣的
I don't know if I should, I don't...
我也不知道该不该说
Skidmark.
飞机残液
Skidmark.
飞机残液
Right?
对吧
Ah, yeah, yeah.
没错没错
Yeah, my underwear were so clean
我的内♥裤♥可干净了
they went the other way with it.
所以他们故意反着叫我
Oh, yeah, that's why people called you Skidmark, sure, yeah.
可不是吗就是因为这个大家才叫你飞机残液
I'd appreciate it if we'd refrain from using that.
大家要是不叫这个我会很高兴的