善地

The Good Place S03E10

Part 2 Dec. 11, 2019, 3:31 p.m.

埃莉诺你怎么知道我一直想要一只这样的狗狗
Eleanor, how'd you know I always wanted a dog like this?
说来有趣这出现在重启版本之中的一条故事线中
Funny story, it's one of the things I saw in the alternate timeline,
我们断断续续做了三百年的灵魂伴侣
where we were soul mates on and off for 300 years.
我们要不要谈一下这事
Maybe we should talk about that?
谈是能谈
Well, I suppose we can,
但也没啥好说的啊
but there's not that much to talk about.
你看到的故事不是我的人生
The things you saw weren't part of my life,
没发生在我身上
so they didn't happen to me.
你在说什么呢
What the hell are you talking about, man?
当然是你我都看见了
Of course it was you. I saw it.
确实是"奇迪" 但不是我这个奇迪
Well, it was a Chidi, sure, but it wasn't me Chidi.
这是个经典的哲学问题
This is a classic philosophical question.
自我的概念或者我们是谁
The concept of the self, or who we are.
从哲学层面讲
Philosophically speaking,
我这个奇迪过着一种人生
there's the Chidi I am, who lived a certain life,
而你看见的那个奇迪
and there's the Chidi you saw--
你的灵魂伴侣还是什么的
your soul mate or whatever,
过着完全不同的人生
who had some entirely different life.
我们不是同一个奇迪
They're not the same Chidis.
抱歉我懂了
I'm so sorry. Yeah, no, I get it.
"另一个自己" 这是你说过最蠢的话
Counterpoint--that's the dumbest thing you've ever said,
你不配拥有狗狗
and you do not deserve a puppy!
我要收回你的狗狗
I'm un-blooping your puppy!
场面怎么萌翻了啊
Things are getting cuter,
我不想要萌萌哒效果
and I want them to get less cute!
沃尔特
借款部
米尔顿
印象部
克莱芒蒂娜
特定歌♥舞指南部
这是主电脑
So this is the main feed.
记录并上传人间每个人的每个行为
Every action by every human on Earth is recorded
根据该行为的绝对道德价值
and then sent here to be assigned a point value
来分配一个相应的分值
based on the absolute moral worth of that action.
举个例子日本大阪的一对夫妇
For example, a couple in Osaka, Japan,
刚刚决定旅游结婚
just decided to have a destination wedding.
负1200分
Negative 1,200 points.
还是主题旅游婚礼
And it's a destination theme wedding.
负4300分
Negative 4,300.
"指环王"主题
The theme's "Lord of the Rings."
他们基本就玩完了
They're basically doomed.
未定义行为
这个
Here's one.
指有人刚刚做了
This means that someone has just done something
别人从未做过的事
which has never been done before.
"得克萨斯州舒格兰的理查德·摩尔
"Richard Moore of Sugarland, Texas,
把茄子挖空
Hollowed out an eggplant
并填满辣酱和五分硬币"
and filled it with hot sauce and nickels."
令人惊讶的是这不是怪异的性行为
And amazingly, it's not a weird sex thing.
人类的新行为有百分之九十九都与性有关
99% of all new human behaviors are weird sex things.
但这次不是不确实是
But not in this-- No, it is a weird sex thing, yeah.
然后会将其打包压缩发给相关部门
Well, then we zip that over to the relevant departments.
就这个案例蔬菜填塞部的阿纳斯塔西娅
In this case, Anastasia in the Stuffed Vegetable Department.
还有美国硬币部的赫克托
We've got Hector over in American Coins,
还有我的好兄弟怪异性行为部的马特
and my dear buddy, Matt, in Weird Sex Things.
马特
怪异性行为部
我上交的立即自杀申请
I'm still waiting on a response to the request I filed
结果还没有出来
for immediate suicide.
请求被拒
Request denied.
我大爱马特他很逗
I love Matty. He's hilarious.
所以他们现在审核该行为
So they now examine the action--
利用了什么资源背后有什么意图
its use of resources, the intentions behind it,
对他人的影响
its effects on others.
没错而这就是最终结果
Correct. And you end up with this.
行为编号♥
减9884分
结果不可能被人做手脚
And here is why tampering is impossible--
因为将会随机抽取三百万位会计师
because this score is then double-checked
对分数进行再次审核
by 3 billion other accountants, all chosen at random,
如果他们结论一致
and if they all come to the same conclusion,
基本上总是一致就正式生效了
which they always do, it makes this official.
结果一致
如果有人以相同方式做了同一行为
Anyone who does this same action
就会扣除这些分树
in the exact same way loses this many points.
人们死后他们的生平记录
When people die, their biographical history
及最终分数会被送到相应的终点
and final point totals are sent to the relevant destination.
这一批是前往"恶地"的人
This batch is going to the Bad Place.
谢谢多丽丝
Thank you, Doris.
这个系统完美无缺不可能被人动手脚
The system is flawless, and tampering is quite impossible.
明白了我们能不能看
I see. Could we look at one
一个特定档案再确认一下
specific file, though, just to make sure?
你想看谁的啊
Who do you want to see--
成吉思汗绝代艳后
Genghis Khan, Marie Antoinette?
华特·迪士尼的档案有见不得光的事哦
Walt Disney's got some freaky stuff in his file.
道格·福赛特
Doug Forcett.
我不明白
I don't get this, man.
为什么你不想知道我们之前的生活
Why wouldn't you want to know what our life was like?
你不好奇跟我睡的感觉吗
You're not even a little bit curious what it was like to hit this?
我不是说她的身体
I don't mean this this.
虽然老实说我也想睡一下这副身体
Although, frankly, I would also hit this this.
我不想知晓那些记忆
I don't want to see those memories
因为从哲学层面讲
because, philosophically speaking,
那些记忆与我无关
they're none of my business.
是发生在别人身上的事
They happened to someone else.
我来解释一下
Let me explain.
坐下
Take a seat.
自我的概念
Conceptions of the self.
先从约翰·洛克说起
Let's start with John Locke,
他认为"人格同一性"建立在
who believed that personal identity
具有持续意识的基础之上
was based on having a continued consciousness--
本质上就是记忆
essentially, memory.
记忆是链子上的链结
Memories are links in a chain
共同构成一个单一的自我
that together form a single self.
如果我不记得发生过的事
If I can't remember what happened
因为这是发生在另一时间线的奇迪身上
because it happened to a Chidi from another timeline,
那就不是一个统一的我
it's not a unified me.
你不记得你做过
Just because you don't remember doing something
并不代表你没做过
doesn't mean you didn't do it.
我也不记得怎么发生的
I have no idea how it happened,
但我屁♥股♥上就是多了个纹身
but there is definitely a tattoo on my butt
写着"杰粗"
that says "Jasom."
这就要说到德里克·帕菲特
That leads us to Derek Parfit.
-是吗 -帕菲特说过
- It does? - Parfit said
即使我有之前的记忆
even if I have memories from an earlier time,
也不一定就是我
that doesn't necessarily mean it was me.
毕竟如果我的大脑一分为二
After all, if my brain was split in two
每一半都放到不同人身上
and each half was put in a different person,
哪一个是我呢
which one is me?
我只知道那个奇迪
All I know is that other Chidi
已经不存在了但我这个奇迪还存在
doesn't exist anymore, and this one does.
所以我这个奇迪肯定是真奇迪
So this must be the real Chidi.
我只知道你把维♥基♥百♥科♥
And all I know is that you're just
都一股脑吐出来
barfing Wikipedia all over everyone
就是不说自己的真情实感
to avoid talking about your feelings.
现在说一下大卫·休谟
Let's talk about David Hume.
找到了道格们的档案
Here we go, the Book of Dougs.
来看看
Let's have a look.
道格·福布♥什♥ 道格·福卡普
Doug Forbush, Doug Forcap...
道格·L·福赛特
Doug L. Forcett.
别偷看仅限会计人员
Hey, no peeking. Accountants only.
你能告诉我他目前多少分吗
Can you just tell me his total so far?
他目前有52万分
Looks like he's at 520,000 points.
-不错啊道格 -这个分数很好吗
- Well done, Doug. - So that's--that's good?
非常好
It's excellent.