善地

The Good Place S03E08

Part 4 Dec. 11, 2019, 3:31 p.m.

心理及各种倾向
your psychology, your tendencies.
我知道你所有的隐秘羞耻
I know all your private shames,
比如你冲澡不洗脚
like that you don't wash your feet in the shower;
去的第一场演唱会是裸体淑女乐队的
your first concert was Barenaked Ladies;
你还经常做
and you have frequent sex dreams
《提线木偶》中山姆鹰的春梦
about Sam the Eagle, from the Muppets.
他一副霸道总裁范儿很得我心啊
Well, he's very authoritative, and I find that reassuring.
你总是做出我无法理解的意外选择
You keep making crazy choices I don't understand.
我遗漏了什么吗
Am I missing something?
抱歉能倒回去一下吗
I'm sorry. Can we rewind for a second?
你是谁那人又是谁
Who are you? Who is that guy?
我死了吗
Am I dead?
山姆鹰在这里吗
Is Sam the Eagle here?
不
No.
我试图编写你整个"死后世界"
I tried to script your whole afterlife.
我设计了一千五百万点计划折磨你
And I devised a 15 million-point plan to torture you.
你却做出了我完全无法预料的选择
You made choices I never saw coming.
我觉得这就是自♥由♥意志
I call that free will.
万一你的选择是被预先决定的呢
What if all your choices are predetermined?
你这是要逼死臣妾啊
You've got to be kidding me.
这事谁能说得准啊
What? We don't know.
或许有个更厉害的大魔头
Maybe there's a mega-demon
搞了个折磨恶魔的酷刑室
who built a torture chamber for demons,
搞出这一切其实都是他在折磨你
and this whole thing is just him torturing you.
又或许所有厉害的大魔头
And maybe all the mega-demons
只是在遵从由一群超级智慧的狼蛛乌贼
are just fulfilling a destiny laid out by a bunch of
安排的命运
super intelligent tarantula-squids,
这群恶魔才是被折磨的人
who are torturing them, be--
你为什么要这样
Why did you do that?
因为我有自♥由♥意志
Because I have free will.
也因为你太烦人了
And because you're being so annoying.
谢谢你
Thank you.
很抱歉他那么做了
I'm so sorry that he did that.
这事经常发生
Happens all the time.
不过通常是嫩草泼老牛
Usually it's the younger woman doing it to the older guy, though.
老兄太不友好了[不酷]
Dude! Not cool.
我不认同
Disagree.
我觉得这是我做过的最酷的事
I think it's the coolest thing I've ever done.
你真看不明白这是怎么回事吗
Do you really not see what's happening here?
你想让我仔细解释给你听吗
Do you want me to spell it out for you?
这是你的防御机制埃莉诺
This is a defense mechanism, Eleanor.
你看到自己爱上了奇迪
You saw yourself fall in love with Chidi,
看到自己那么脆弱让你恐慌
and it freaked you out to see yourself be so vulnerable.
所以你用决定论说服自己
So, you're using determinism to convince yourself
那些感觉不真实
that those feelings were not real.
你又不了解我
You know, you don't know me, man.
我了解我知道你的一切记得吗
Yes, I do, I know everything about you, remember?
包括最让你恐惧的就是脆弱
Including that nothing scares you more than vulnerability.
-随便吧谁在乎 -我在乎
- Whatever. Who even cares? - I do.
因为如果万事都被决定
Because if everything is determined,
我们没有自♥由♥意志
and we have no free will,
那么我们让世界充满善的行为
then all the stuff we're doing to put more good
就毫无意义
into the world is pointless.
而我想要相信那是有意义的
And I want to believe that it matters.
所以请恕我失陪我现在要用我的自♥由♥意志
So if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna use my free will
去接我们在机场的朋友
right now to go pick up our friends at the airport.
可能是对自♥由♥意志最糟糕的利用
Worst possible use of free will,
但我还是要做
but I'm gonna do it anyway,
因为我关心他们
because I care about them.
你最好也出去吧
You might wanna head out too.
我们就要关门了一旦关门
We're closing soon, and the second we do,
这里就成了拍小黄♥片♥的场地
they use this place to shoot porn.
头等舱真是太棒了
First class was amazing.
他们给了好多免费礼物
They give you so many free presents.
剃须工具包眼罩还有背心
A shaving kit, an eye mask-- a vest.
每当这时想想我们的合法婚姻
At times like this, it's fun to remember
真是好笑
that we're legally married.
确实好笑
That is fun.
我要靠窗坐
I call window seat!
我很抱歉你说得对
I'm sorry. You were right.
我害怕我动真感情了
I was scared about what it all meant,
于是又摆出以往的德行
and I went back to one of my favorite moves,
开启了"指责模式"
turn on the ol' Blame Hose.
"这全是你的错"
"This is all you fault."
我接受你的道歉
Apology accepted.
抱歉我朝你头上泼了冰茶
And I'm sorry I dumped iced tea on your head.
才没有呢
Are you kidding me? You did exactly
朋友讨人厌时就该这么做
what you should do when ‭you're friend is being annoying.
你让我清醒了
You snapped me out of it.
也让我明白了从某种诡异的角度看
It also made me realize, in a weird way,
我们是宇宙中仅有的自♥由♥意志个体
we are the only truly free beings in the universe,
因为我们清楚知道"死后世界"是怎么回事
because we actually know what's up with the afterlife.
这意味着我们的步子要迈得大胆一些
And I think that means we need to be bold.
让"灵魂小队"更上一层楼
Take the Soul Squad to the next level somehow.
你说得对
You're right.
我们需要找到一个
We need to find someone who can
可以作为人性蓝图的人
serve as a-- as a blueprint for humanity,
一个人生特别伟大
someone who's life is so great
我们可以用来做模范尽可能让更多人
that we can use it as a model to get as many points
得到更多的"良善积分"的人
for as many people as possible.
我似乎知道一个完美人选
And I think I know that perfect person.
蕾哈娜好选择
Rihanna. Good call.
我并不认识她
I don't know her personally,
不过我在维加斯见过她一次
but I did see her in Vegas once,
她的小腿擦到了我的舌头
and her calf brushed up against my tongue.
我舔了她的腿被赶了出去
I licked her leg. I was kicked out.
不是蕾哈娜是一个更酷的人
It's not Rihanna. It's--it's someone way cooler.
大家都下车
Hey, everybody out of the car!
拿上包
Grab your bags!
我们要去加拿大乡村啦
We're going to rural Canada!
-准备就绪了吗 -应该吧
- Is it ready? - I guess.
我们不确定能不能行
We have no idea if it'll work.
肯定能行
I'm sure it's perfect.
试一下吧肖恩
Give it a try, Shawn.
我吗我才不要穿过那玩意儿
Me? I'm not going through that thing.
她来试
She is.
问迈克尔他重启了他们多少次
Ask Michael how many times he rebooted them.
-他在说谎 -闭嘴亲爱的
- He's lying... - Yeah, zip it, toots.
这都是上一季的剧情了
We're way past that.
我这是在哪
Where am I?
我在里面待多久了
How long was I in there?
你这一季没啥戏份
You have missed a lot.
你赶快穿过临时传送门
Now go through that makeshift portal.
看你会不会爆♥炸♥
See if you explode.
场面可能会很血腥
This might be gross.
我这是在人间吗
Am I on Earth?
你建了一个通向人间的非法传送门吗
Did you figure out a way to build an illegal door to Earth?
没错
Yes.
我确实这么干了
That's exactly what I did.
-我们都帮了忙 -闭嘴格伦
- Well, we all helped. - Shut up, Glenn.