善地

The Good Place S03E01

Part 2 Dec. 11, 2019, 3:30 p.m.

Yeah, I almost forgot.
我给你带了杯美味的"反物质"饮料
I brought you a nice hot cup of antimatter.
我通常只喝低咖"反物质"饮料
I usually only drink decaf antimatter.
给我吧
I'll take it.
现在才四点半
It's only 4:30.
我还有近九十亿年才下班呢
My shift doesn't end until 9 billion.
批准
-我欠你什么 -真正的问题是埃莉诺
- What do I owe ya? - The real question, Eleanor,
我们互相有何亏欠
is what do we owe to each other?
我们互相有何亏欠
What do we owe to each other?
悉尼国际机场
这个问题是数十年前蒂姆·史康龙[美国哲学家]提出来的
That is the question Tim Scanlon asked decades ago,
接下来三小时我会尽力解答这一问题
and it is the question I will try to answer over the next three hours.
你是"奇迪·阿纳不知道怎么读"吗
Are you Chidi Anna... Kendrick?
读作"阿纳贡耶" 是我
Anagonye, and yes.
太好了我叫埃莉诺·谢尔斯卓普
Great, hi. My name is Eleanor Shellstrop.
-能跟你谈谈吗 -没问题
- Can we talk? - Sure.
怎么说呢
Okay, where do I start?
我不是世上最好的人
I'm not, like, the best person in the world.
我是个来自亚利桑那的人♥渣♥ 毕竟穷山恶水出刁民
I'm a trash bag from Arizona, which is saying something.
我们那儿盛产种族歧视的警长和人乳♥头♥瘤病毒
Our biggest exports are racist sheriffs and HPV.
但大约一年前发生了一件很疯狂的事情
But about a year ago, something crazy happened--
我...
And I--
抱歉我飞了四十来个小时才到这儿
Sorry. I've been flying for like, 40 hours.
这里是澳大利亚吧
This is Australia, right?
没错我在塞内加尔长大法语是我的母语
Yes. I grew up in Senegal, so my native language is French.
但我在美国上的学所以也会说英语
But I went to American schools, so I also speak English.
还精通德语和希腊语
And German and Greek.
以防万一还学了拉丁文
And Latin, just in case it ever comes back.
厉害我曾经在一个八卦问答中拿了满分
Cool. I once got 12 out of 12 on a Buzzfeed quiz called
测试主题是"卡戴珊创造的热词"
"Do you know all the slang words the Kardashians invented?"
-恭喜了 -谢谢
- Congratulations? - Thank you.
说实话我作弊了
I'm going to be honest. I did cheat.
你刚才说发生了一件很疯狂的事
But you were saying something crazy happened to you?
对我差点死掉
Yes, I almost died.
从那以后我就想做个好人
And it made me want to become a better person,
我也确实努力尝试过
which I did for a while.
但后来又变回了人♥渣♥
But then I fell back into my old trash bag ways.
昨天我看到了你的讲座突然开窍了
Yesterday, I saw your lecture, and something just clicked.
等下你大老远从亚利桑那过来是为了见我
Wait, you flew all the way here from Arizona just to see me?
别太自恋哥们
You know what, don't flatter yourself, pal.
抱歉我是习惯性抬杠
Sorry, that's a knee-jerk reaction.
没错就是专门来见你
Yes, that's exactly what I did.
虽然听起来很"脑残"
And I know that seems zonk-atronic--
我朋友经常这么说
that's Khloe's word for crazy--
但我需要道德指引
but I need someone to help guide me, morally speaking.
而你就是最合适的人选你觉得怎么样
And I think I need it to be you. What do you say?
你愿帮我成为一个好人吗
Will you help me become a good person?
没问题
Yes.
我会先给你介绍一些哲学入门书籍
I'll start you off with some introductory philosophy books,
我们以后每周在这儿上一次课
and then we'll meet herehy. Once a week.
好的
Great.
那些哲学书最好是拍成电影或是制成有趣动图了
Ideally, some of those books will have been made into a movie or maybe a funny GIF.
我一切听你安排
But anything's good with me, man.
能问你个问题吗
Can I ask you something?
你为什么愿意帮我
Why are you helping me?
我是个老师教书育人是我的天职
I'm a teacher. That's my job.
可我不是你的学生
Yeah, but I'm not your student.
我就是个不请自来的陌生疯女人
I'm just some hot rando who walked in off the street.
你帮我肯定有原因
There's got to be another reason.
确实
Yes, there is.
我之前也差点死掉
I also had a near-death experience.
虽然我不知道当时到底是什么情况
Well, I mean, I don't know for sure that I would have died,
但确实挺惊险的
but it was pretty nuts.
抱歉但现在这一刻
I'm sorry, but this is an important moment
-对我们的友情至关重要 -往右靠
- in our friendship... - On your right, mate!
天呐能不能看看路
Jeez. Watch it, man!
天呐你没事吧
My God. Are you okay?
我刚才就站在那儿
That--that is right where I was standing.
我刚才因选择困难愣在那儿
I was frozen here, unable to make a single decision,
差点被空调砸死
and I almost got crushed by an air conditioner.
这是上天给我的指示
This is a sign.
我不会再用空调了
I shouldn't be using air conditioners.
氟利昂对环境有害
The freon is awful for the environment.
差点被砸死你居然还在想环境问题
That's the lesson you take from this?
奇迪你脑子坏掉了找个医生看看吧
Chidi, your brain is broken. You need to fix your brain.
神经科学西蒙妮·加内特博士
简而言之我写了一篇长达3600页的论文
So in a nutshell, I have a 3,600-page thesis
至今还没写完
that I am nowhere near finishing,
每当面临选择我都会呆住
I am absolutely paralyzed by decision-making,
选择困难使我过得很悲惨
and it is destroying my life.
刚才你不知道要坐哪把椅子时我就看出来了
Yeah, I sort of got that when you couldn't choose a chair to sit on.
我是不想冒犯到你
Well, I didn't want to offend you
万一有一把是你的专属座椅呢
in case you had a favorite.
我确实是不请自来
Look, I know I just kind of--nope--walked in here,
我们俩素不相识
and you don't know me at all,
但你能不能检测出我的优柔寡断是否是大脑的问题
but is there any way to tell if my indecision is due to a brain thing?
没问题啊
Yeah, sure.
我可以在你脸上划一刀
Now what we do is we make a lengthy incision
大概是从眉毛到后颈
from your eyebrows to the nape of your neck,
然后把你的脸皮剥下来
and we peel your face back, right,
切开你的头骨
then slice your skull open.
用电针胡乱戳一戳你的大脑
And I just randomly stab at your brain with an electrified needle.
而且你全程都是清醒的好玩吧
The fun part is you're awake the whole time.
我开玩笑呢只是给你做个核磁共振
I'm kidding! I'll just give you an MRI
查看一下你大脑中负责决断的部分
and look at the part of your brain that controls decision-making.
太好了
I want that.
我一定得查查脑子有没有病
I need to learn about my brain, please.
你就这么不请自来
Well, so you just march into my office unannounced,
告诉我你脑子有病
tell me your brain is broken,
让我先别忙别的事情了
then demand I drop everything
先用价值三百万的仪器给你做个核磁共振
and just put you in the university's $3 million MRI machine?
抱歉我只是...
I'm sorry, I just--
真是太合我口味了
I freaking love it.
你真是个怪胎我们走吧
You're so weird! Let's go.
-现在吗 -对啊来吧
- Right now? - Yeah, come on.
好
Okay.
这里是负责记忆的海马体
This is your hippocampus. It regulates memory.
你的看起来不错很强大记性很好嘛
Yours looks great, very strong. Gorgeous hippocampus here!
这里是正中内测前额叶皮层
This is your ventromedial prefrontal cortex,
负责决断的部位
the center of decision-making.
接下来就是见证奇迹的时刻
This is where the magic happens.
看到这块都亮起了吗
Do you see how it's all lit up?
刚才我让你在蓝色和红色中间做出选择
That's a flurry of activity that occurred
你的大脑中呈现出了这种场景
when I asked you to choose between red and blue,
而且你差点晕过去
and you almost passed out.
现在选蓝色是不是太晚了
Is it too late to pick blue instead?
当然了
It is, yeah.
关键是乍一看你的大脑很健康
The point is, at first glance, your brain is very healthy.
来这里真的能找到答案
There are actual answers here,
可以提供观察数据并加以研究
data you can observe and learn from.
是啊科学就是给人提供答案的
Yeah, man, science is all about getting answers.
你们哲学家一生都纠结于一个问题
You philosophers can spend your entire life mulling over a single questions.
这正是大家都讨厌道德哲学教授的原因
That's why everyone hates moral philosophy professors.
无意冒犯
No offense.
-没问题这是实话 -知道就好
- None taken. We suck. - Yeah.
-奇迪 -要一个蓝莓松饼
- Chidi. - One blueberry muffin, please.
为何选择日日行善
Why choose to be good every day?
我认为我们选择做个好人
I argue that we choose to be good
是因为大家是一个不可分割的整体
because of our bonds with other people.
简而言之没有人是一座孤岛
Simply put, we are not in this alone.
谢谢
Thank you.