善地

The Good Place S03E01

Part 3 Dec. 11, 2019, 3:30 p.m.

奇迪
Chidi.
你不到一分钟就选好了要松饼
You chose that muffin in less than a minute.
你之前最好的记录可是59分钟
That beats your old record by 59 minutes.
亨利我感觉棒呆了
Henry, I feel amazing.
我的新论文已经写了一百页
I am 100 pages into my new thesis,
这简直是我写作的巅峰
and it is some of the best writing that I have ever done.
我很久没有这么开心过了...
I haven't been this happy since...
不对我从来没有开心过
I've never been happy.
真悲剧
Bad!
我为你骄傲兄弟
I'm proud of you, mate.
你现在一定过得很爽吧
It must be really nice to live that way.
这正是奇妙之处
Well, that's the beauty of it.
大家都能快意人生
Anyone can live this way.
只需当机立决即可
Just decide to be more decisive.
你有没有一直想做的事情
Like, what's something that you've always wanted to do?
我一直想锻炼成型男但没付诸行动
I mean, I have been putting off getting in shape.
那就下定决心明天早起去锻炼
Then make the decision to wake up tomorrow morning and get in shape.
就这么简单
It is that easy.
好的那我试试看
Okay. Maybe I will!
-反正也没啥坏处 -没错
- What have you got to lose? - Nothing!
亨利你这是怎么了
Henry, what happened to you?
我刚才在健身房♥做腿部推举
Well, I was using the leg press at the gym,
你知道人腿能弯到什么程度吗
and you know how your legs bend a certain way?
-我的腿都扭成花了 -天呐
- My legs bend the other way now. - No.
我腿部的肌腱像琴弦一样噼里啪啦地断了
All the tendons in my legs snapped like violin strings,
我的脚也转了个方向
and then, my foot flew forwards,
我还自己踢了自己的脸一脚
and I kicked myself in the face,
于是就脑震荡了
which gave me a concussion.
但也因祸得福我尿裤子了
But on the bright side, I lost control of my bladder.
被人拍下来传到了网上
Someone got it on video,
现在"推举哥"都有六万两千观看量了
and now "Leg Press Whizzer" has 62,000 views on Youtube.
-我出名了 -都怪我
- I'm famous. - This is all my fault.
是我怂恿你去健身的
I did this to you.
松饼我给你带了蓝莓松饼
Muffins! I brought blueberry muffins.
不行别再吃蓝莓了
No, you shouldn't eat blueberries anymore.
看点新闻吧摘蓝莓的移♥民♥工待遇可惨了
Read an article. The migrant workers who pick them are horribly mistreated.
惨了
Yaaaaaaah!
早上好奇迪来一个蓝莓松饼吗
Good morning, Chidi. Blueberry muffin for ya?
让我想想我有选择困难
I don't know, maybe. I can't decide.
-你没事吧 -我选好了
- You all right there, mate? - Okay, I've made my decision.
我想要...
I want to...
大哭一场
start crying.
打扰一下
Excuse me?
我最多可以借几本书
What is the maximum number of books that I can check out?
-一万两千本吗 -周末想大干一场
- Is it 12,000? - Got a wild weekend planned?
我要为论文想个新主题
Well, I need to find a new topic for my thesis,
之前发生了一件事我因此不再优柔寡断
and I had this thing happen that made me more decisive,
几个月前我朋友断了腿
and a few months ago, my friend broke both of his legs,
都是我和蓝莓松饼的错我需要帮助
and it's my fault, and blueberries, and I need help.
也许黑人小伙的成功自传能有所帮助
Maybe that help will come from Tay Zonday's autobiography, "Chocolate Book."
谁知道呢
I mean, who's to say?
我在图书馆工作很多年了
Mate, I've worked in this library a long time,
我见过很多学者
and I've seen a lot of academic types
脸上都曾出现过你现在这样无助的表情
with that same helpless look on their faces.
他们都挺过来了
They all made it through okay.
前提是找到秘诀
Once they learned the secret.
秘诀是什么还有秘诀吗
What's the secret? There's a secret?
是要看很多书吗要看多少本才行
Is the secret more books? How many more books do I need?
与书无关而是要转换角度
It's not about books, mate. It's about perspective.
当你感觉无助时
Sometimes, when you're feeling helpless,
秘诀就是去帮助其他人
the secret is to help someone else.
别纠结于自身信我吧
Get out of your own head. Trust me.
下次有人向你求助只管答应
The next time someone asks for help, say yes.
几小时后你就来求助了
A few hours later, you walked in and asked for help.
我不知道帮你能不能解决我自己的问题
Now, I don't know if this is going to solve all of my problems,
但至少值得一试
but it's worth a try, right?.
感谢你性感的图书管♥理♥员♥
Well, thank you, sexy librarian guy.
我没说他很性感啊
I didn't say he was sexy.
我知道但每当别人跟我讲述他们自己的事情时
I know, but whenever anyone tells me a story about their life,
我都把所有人想象成超级大帅哥
I always imagine all the people as being super hot.
否则很快就会听烦
Otherwise, I quickly lose interest.
你不这样吗你可以试试看
Do you not do that? You can do it for free.
老实讲
I got to say,
扮演神秘图书馆员太爽了
I enjoyed playing the role of mysterious librarian,
我的澳大利亚口音简直完美
and I really nailed the Australian accent.
-完美无缺 -谢谢夸奖
- Flawless. - Thank you.
关键是埃莉诺和奇迪相遇了
But the point is, Eleanor and Chidi are together,
我们可以放心了事情终于走上正轨了
and now we can relax. Everything is finally on track.
-汇报情况 -大家都在玩命工作
- Status report. - They're plugging away,
但还是没能黑入法官的系统
but we still can't hack into the Judge's system.
该死那四个人类都回归地球一年多了
Damn it, those four humans have been on Earth for over a year.
我要知道他们有没有变好
I need to know if they're getting better.
我能问个问题吗
Can I just ask?
有三百亿人类供我们折磨
We torture, like, 30 billion humans.
你怎么那么在意这四个人
Why do you care so much about these four?
算了当我没问
Never mind. Forget I asked.
质疑你就该被罚老大
Serves him right for questioning you, boss.
我觉得你做得对
I think you're doing a great job.
谢谢托德
Thank you, Todd.
别别别
No, no, no, no.
-你干什么呀 -我是恶魔以折磨人为乐
- Why did you do that? - I'm a demon. It's fun.
没黑入法官的系统之前
No one leaves this room
谁也不准离开
until we've accessed the Judge's system.
要不放点音乐也许会有用
Would music help? Should I play some music?
好主意
Good idea.
放首巨难听的歌♥鼓励一下大家
Choose something deeply terrible to inspire us.
理查德·马可斯《此情可待》
优秀甚合我意
Yeah. That's the stuff.
亚里士多德认为美德需要后天习得
So for Aristotle, virtue is practical.
良善并非与生俱来
Goodness isn't something that a person just inherently has.
而是需要通过后天习得
It's something that she achieves through her actions.
-有问题吗 -嗯有几个
- Questions? - Yeah, a few.
我没听懂觉得很扯
I wrote down "What?" "Huh?"
还差点以为你在聊美食
And then this doodle of a burrito
因为你刚开始提到亚里士多德时
because when I first read Aristotle,
我听成了某种墨西哥卷的名字
I thought it was pronounced like Chipotle.
等下我把自己搞蒙了
Wait a minute, is it "Chip-o-tottle"?
问得好
These are all great questions.
但我得去学校那边跟我的论文指导老师谈一谈
But I have to meet my thesis adviser across campus.
我也要去那边我跟你一起
Well, I'm headed that way, too. I'll walk with you.
我一直在想该如何回报你
Hey, so, I've been trying to figure out how to pay you back for helping me.
我说过没必要跟我客气
I told you, you don't owe me anything.
在亚利桑那每当我想向朋友表达感谢
At home, when I want to get something nice for one of my friends,
通常会给他们送点"吃的"
it usually comes in the form of something edible.
你懂我意思吗可以吸食的那种
You get what I'm saying? An "edible" thing?
-千万别送我毒品 -好哒
- Please don't buy me drugs. - Okay, copy that.
我当时别无选择
I had no choice,
他出门时我正在他家车道上自♥拍♥
I was in his driveway taking pictures when he walked out,
所以我只好说
so I said
"克罗先生我是油气公♥司♥员工你的座驾实在酷毙了"
"Hey, Mr. Crowe, I'm from the gas company. I loved you in 'Gladiator.'"
奇迪
Chidi, hey!
我想问你个问题
I got a question.
是要问我的论文题目吗
Is it "What's my thesis topic?"
-我还没决定好呢 -不与论文无关
- Because I still don't know. - No, it's not that.
抱歉给你们介绍一下
I'm sorry. You guys haven't met yet.
-西蒙妮这位是埃莉诺 -久仰大名
- Simone, this is Eleanor. - The famous Simone.
-幸会 -幸会
- Nice to meet you. - You too.
我需要一些核磁共振的数据
So I've got to do some MRI scans
来做对比实验
as a control for an experiment.
我记得你上次很兴奋
And since you loved it so much last time,
所以就想问问看你愿意来帮个忙吗