善地

The Good Place S03E03

Part 3 Dec. 11, 2019, 3:30 p.m.

It's just a simple drink with friends at the world's worst restaurant.
不特雷弗说得对
No, but Trevor's right.
和研究对象亲近可能会干扰实验结果
I might skew the study by fraternizing with the subjects.
即使我们是同事这样也不太好
We can be colleagues. Associates is pushing it.
而你来安慰我
And by even having this conversation,
意味着我们是好朋友
you're becoming my confidante.
-这样可不行 -不是吧
- I can't have that. - Jeez.
我本以为其他人出现之前
Kind of thought that before everyone else showed up,
我们俩就快成朋友了
you and I were, like, becoming actual friends.
神啊你说得对
No. You're right.
我这是怎么了
What have I done?
别激动我去吧台给你点一杯热茶
Okay, okay, I-I-I'm gonna go to the bar and get you a hot tea.
好
Okay.
一杯温水配镇定剂也行
Or a regular temperature Xanax.
千万别晕过去
Try not to fall apart.
阿纳贡耶教授
Professor Anagonye?
我就觉得像你
Yeah, I thought I recognized you.
是我啊图书管♥理♥员♥
It's me, the librarian from the library.
对你好抱歉没认出你
Right, hi, sorry.
我刚才有点心慌意乱
I was just kind of in the middle of something here.
也许我能帮上忙
Well, maybe I can help.
知道这种情况我通常会怎么做吗
You know what I like to do in situations like these?
我还没告诉你是什么情况呢
I haven't told you anything about what I'm going through.
那你先说
Do that first,
然后我再告诉你
then I'll tell you
遇到你这种情况我会怎么做
what I do in situations such as the one you're about to describe.
我什么大风大浪都见过
I've been in every situation
毕竟图书管♥理♥员♥不是白做的
because I'm a librarian.
来吧跟我说说
Hit me. Go ahead.
我累了
I'm tired.
各位想喝桶水清醒一下吗
Does anybody want a gallon of water to sober up?
不用了亲爱的
No thanks, sweetheart.
我刚替这对"爱侣"叫了车
I just called a car for these two lovebirds,
结账吧
so why don't you just bring us the check?
你该多笑笑
and you should smile more.
笑容甜美小费多多
You'll get bigger tips.
天你好美
Gosh, you're pretty.
不你才美[很]No, you're pretty.
很美
Pretty beautiful.
要我说奇迪
If you ask me, Chidi,
你得坐回去
you need to get back over there,
和队员一起嗨
you know, spend time with the team.
但我们图书馆界有句名言
Though, we do have a saying in the library game.
一项学术研究容不下两个男人
there's only room for one male subject in an academic study,
只有先到的那个才能留下
so keep the one who got there first.
还挺朗朗上口
Catchy.
我先走了
Got to go now.
最像凉茶的就是根汁汽水了
The closest thing I could find to herbal tea was a root beer
我让他们用微波炉加热了一下
I had them throw in the microwave.
算了别喝了
You know what? Don't drink that.
我还是先回家吧
I think I'm just gonna head home.
你和大家好好玩
But you can go and spend time with the others.
免了我可不是为他们而来
Yeah, man, that's not really what I signed up for.
塔哈妮太作杰森太二
I mean, Tahani is eh, but Jason, woof,
特雷弗简直是个戏精
and Trevor, blegh.
我大老远从亚利桑那飞来可不是为了他们
They're not the reason I flew all the way from Arizona.
是为了你
You are.
抱歉但我们必须保持距离
I'm sorry, but this is just how it has to be.
明天见
I'll, I'll see you tomorrow.
埃姐快来啊
Hey, E dog, get over here!
来玩益智问答啊
It's trivia night!
第一轮问题全是关于罗根·保罗的
The first round questions are all about Logan Paul,
美国网红
你懂我的无罗根不青春
and you know I'm Logang for life.
你自己玩蛋去吧
Go put your head up your own butt.
-什么 -什么
- What? - What?
你说什么
What?
你们两个傻蛋怎么就是不肯放弃呢
Don't you buttnecks ever give up?
没门你来洗手间干什么
No, and what are you even doing in a bathroom?
你是个恶魔不需要上厕所
You're a demon. You don't... need it.
我喜欢闻臭味啊
I like the smells.
我喜欢把手伸进马桶
And I like putting my hands in the toilet
这样我碰过的东西都会粘上粑粑
so everything I touch gets a little bit of poop on it.
你们瞧见我多厉害了吗
Hey, you guys see what I did out there?
我太牛了都能把埃莉诺气到先离开酒吧了
I am so good, I got Eleanor to leave a bar early.
奇迪快崩溃了
Chidi's melting down.
杰森和塔哈妮一起离开了
Jason and Tahani just left together.
如果他们俩滚了床单
If they hook up,
塔哈妮绝对立马搭乘私人飞机走人
she's on the first private jet out of here.
太简单了
This was too easy.
想拆散四人组你还嫩着呢
It's gonna take a lot more than that to break up this group.
你趁早放弃吧特雷弗
Why don't you give up, Trevor?
只要我们在你就别想成功
As long as we're here, you'll never succeed.
也许吧但你们能待多久呢
Maybe, but how long will that take?
反正法官迟早会发现
I mean, at some point, the judge will find out
你们俩不好好干活偷偷溜到地球了
that you're not in your little room watching ticker tape.
没错吧你们时间不多了哟
Right? Tick, tick, tick, tick.
就看哪个恶魔能笑到最后了
But, hey, may the worst demon win.
祝好运小迈迈
Good luck, Mikey.
手上粘粑粑了
Poop hands!
你竟然上当了
I can't believe you fell for that.
你没事吧
Are you all right?
你昨晚一点都没睡
You didn't sleep at all last night.
我睡了整整八分钟呢
I got a solid eight minutes,
虽然不是连续八分钟但也睡了
not consecutively, but still.
没事的
It's fine.
我看你都不重影呢
You're not even that blurry.
你得放轻松
You gotta take it easy, man.
你没睡好眼睛都抽筋了
I mean, you're not sleeping. Your eye's twitching.
这项研究必须无懈可击
This study has to be airtight.
而和研究对象交朋友的事让我很抓狂
And this ethical question of friendship with the subjects is weighing on me.
我做过很多次此类研究
I've done a million of these things.
我保证如果你越界了一定会提醒你
I promise I'll warn you if you cross any lines.
我连越界的想法都不敢有
I don't want to come anywhere near those lines.
我一直在等待合适的论文主题
I have been waiting my entire career for the right thesis,
我绝不会毁了这次研究
and I am not going to blow it.
我一定要保持专业水准
I have to keep this professional.
好吧但你需要休息
Fine, but you need to get some rest.
今早你都把生鸡蛋当成苹果啃了
This morning, you bit into a raw egg like it was an apple.
我还以为只是煮老了
I thought it was hard-boiled.
但你连壳都没剥
Yeah, but still, the shell.
握了手我们就是最佳密友了
This is the best secret-friend handshake, bro.
那就...
And it goes...
注意各位
Attention, everyone.
不要看我
Do not look at me.
我的小眼神无处安放啊
I don't--don't know what to do.
我既后悔又羞愧
I am both overhung and humiliated
昨晚实在太失礼了
by my uncouth comportment last night.
请接收我的正式道歉信
Please accept these formal letters of apology.
抱歉字迹不好看
Further apologies for their appearance.
我起太早了脑子不太清醒
I just couldn't find a proper calligrapher at 5:00 in the morning.
你们俩昨晚怎么样了
So, what happened to you two lovebirds last night, huh?
讲真此事与你无关
Frankly, it is none of your business.
抱歉
Sorry.
杰森昨晚...
Jason was a...
表现得很绅士
perfect gentleman last night.
感谢你昨晚把我安全送回家
Thank you so much for getting me home safely.
就算你因为我太无礼把我扔在路边我也不会怪你
I wouldn't blame you should you ostracize me for my boorish behavior.
不无聊[礼] 你昨晚可有意思了
You weren't boring. You were fun.
说出来怕吓到你把你送上车后
Crazy story-- after you got into the cab,
我忘记自己住哪儿了
I forgot where I lived,
但我四下里望了望