硅谷

Silicon Valley S06E05

Part 4 Dec. 28, 2019, 9:15 p.m.

We are committed to the highest ethical standards."
全都是些老套自说自话的陈词滥调
It's all such banal, self-righteous, hacky bullshit.
-而我还必须支持它 -是的
- And I have to endorse it? - Yeah.
即便是以盖文的标准也确实是空话连篇
It is particularly pedestrian pablum, even for Gavin.
责任
"Responsibility.
我们为所有我们服务的人倾尽一切
We contribute to the growth, joy, and enrichment
只为了他们的成长快乐与幸福
of all the lives we touch.
-勇气 -等等
- Courage--" - Wait, uh,
-你刚说的那句是什么 -责任
- what was that last one? - Responsibility?
我们为所有我们服务的人倾尽一切
Uh, "We contribute to the growth,
只为了他们的成长快乐与幸福
joy, and enrichment of all the lives we touch."
霍尔登
Holden!
你能把菜单集拿来吗
Can you bring the menu book in here, please?
你好啊兄弟
Hi, guy!
-来了 -谢谢
- Here you go. - Thanks.
好样的真是乖孩子
Yes. You are a good boy.
您饿不饿
Are you hungry?
我饿霍尔登
I am. Holden.
霍尔登
Holden.
霍尔登
Holden.
霍尔登
Holden...
好 '苹果蜂'[连锁餐厅] 我们
Ah, good. Applebee's. We were...
有天晚上从这家订餐
ordering from here the other night,
都在开这个的玩笑找到了看
and we were all joking about this, uh-- Yes, look.
他们的使命宣言
Uh, so, their mission statement
就写在墨西哥玉米片旁边我们还说
is right near their nachos, and we were saying
这是莫有米使命宣言
that this is not-cho mission statement.
等等抱歉
Wait, I'm sorry.
这是个笑话吗
Was that a joke?
这是双关语
That. It's... it's a pun.
-对 -就好比印蛋
- Right. - It's just like thumbass, you know.
属于同一类
It's in the same genre.
-好比什么 -印蛋我最近一直在说
- Like what? - Thumbass? I've been saying it a lot.
你读下读读看
Read it, read it.
"在苹果蜂我们的使命
"At Applebee's, our mission
我们为所有我们服务的人倾尽一切
is to contribute to the growth, joy...
只为了他们的成长快乐与幸福" 等下
and enrichment of all the lives we touch." Wait...
这跟盖文宣誓书里的一字不差
That's word for word what's in Gavin's pledge.
没错
Yes, it is.
-你不会觉得 -我就是这么觉得
- You don't think... - That's exactly what I think.
再给我念一句盖文假大空的话
Read me another one of Gavin's frilly sentences.
在发展的同时我们会坚持品质始终如一
"Maintaining our uncompromising principles while we grow."
是星巴克
That's Starbucks.
再来一句
Okay, again.
提高所有年龄段的生活质量
"Enhance the quality of life for all ages."
-是美国退休者协会 -对
- That's the AARP. - Yes!
我最好的朋友格洛丽亚在过世前曾担任了
My best friend Gloria was a charter member for 35 years
-三十五年的宪♥章♥成员 -问题是
- before she passed. - The question is...
如果这个傻♥逼♥基金会的行为准则
if Gavin stole his entire code of conduct
全是盖文抄来的
for this stupid fucking foundation,
他还抄过什么
what else has he been stealing?
好吧我放弃
All right, I give up.
连这个傻冒发型都不起作用
Even this stupid hair didn't work.
你是怎么让这帮人喜欢你的
How are you getting these people to like you?
我没有让任何人喜欢我
I'm not getting anyone to like me.
扯淡我看到你是怎么跟大家互动的
Bullshit. I've seen you out there.
仿佛你有一个人模人样的双胞胎太诡异了
It's like you have a non-evil twin. It's very weird.
莫妮卡
Monica...
得到一个人的信任很简单
gaining someone's confidence is easy.
通过模仿他们的肢体语言
Appear open and interested
并重复他们说的话
by mimicking their body language
就能让他们感到你愿意交流并且对他们有兴趣
and repeating what they say back to them.
所以你只是重复他们的话
So, you just repeat what they say?
我只是重复他们的话
I just repeat what they say.
我在对他们进行社会工程改造
I was social engineering them.
一旦建立了信任
Once trust is established,
社会工程师只需提供一点信息
the social engineer simply offers up information,
工程对象就会给他反馈比如宠物名
and the subject will reciprocate: Pets names,
孩子的名字生日
kids names, birthdays.
然后把这些信息输入到
Then, that information is entered
密♥码♥字典生成器里
into a word list generator.
再把他们的散列加载到'开膛手约翰'[密♥码♥解码器]里
Pop it with their hash into John The Ripper,
不到几分钟
and within minutes,
就能破解他们的密♥码♥
you have their passwords.
所以你只要把你所有的分数都改成十分就行了
So, you're just gonna change all your scores to 10's?
没错
Yep.
你能不能把我的也改一下
Can you do mine, too?
我其实根本不需要他们喜欢我
I don't actually want them to like me.
我讨厌他们他们让我恶心透了
I hate them. I really fucking hate them.
我只是不想得二分
I just don't like having 2's.
你知道
You know,
我可以把我们俩的分数都提高
I could raise both of our scores
继续糊弄或者
and continue this charade. Or...
我也能降低某人的分数
I could lower someone else's,
一劳永逸地终结这些把戏
and put an end to these shenanigans once and for all.
好主意
I like it.
谢谢大家
Thank you.
这场面很大吧
It's quite an event, eh?
看到下面的人了吗脸书谷歌♥
See down there? It's Facebook, Google,
就连他妈贝索斯也派人来了
even fucking Bezos sent someone.
大家都来全力支持事业我的事业
All here to support the cause. My cause.
你知道还有谁出席了吗
You know who else showed up?
星巴克
Starbucks.
非常好的公♥司♥
Very good company.
都是聪明人并且大胆敢干
Filled with smart people with bold ideas.
-我想是的 -还有
- I suppose. - Also,
安索尔加[痔疮膏][痔疮膏]
Anusol Plus.
你有痔疮吗盖文
Do you have hemorrhoids, Gavin?
现在没有
Not currently.
强生出品也是一家好公♥司♥
Made by Johnson & Johnson, also a good company.
你知道他们的使命是什么吗
Do you know what they do?
致力于解决问题
They spark solutions
建设一个更好更健康的世界
that create a better, healthier world.
和你一模一样
Just like you.
还记得你写过这句话吗
You remember writing that?
我忙得很理查德
I'm a busy man, Richard.
我的生活丰富多彩
I've lived an incredible life.
我曾看到过雪怪
I saw a yeti one time,
都给忘了好几年没想起来
and forgot for a couple years.
成吧
Well,
我把你的宣誓书
I ran your little pledge
在检测抄袭的API里跑了一下
through a plagiarism detection API.
你到底想说什么理查德
What are you implying, Richard?
我还读了下你过去的
Well, I also looked at transcripts of
采访和演讲文稿
your interviews and speeches.
比如你在自♥由♥大学毕业典礼上的演讲
Your commencement speech at Liberty University.
抄的抄了某个不知名的阿富汗哲学家
Stolen, from an obscure Afghan philosopher.
另外你看到没
And also, do you see
那边那个男的
that guy right there?
那是罗德·摩根斯坦
That is Rod Morgenstern,
《梦之鹦鹉螺》的作者
the author of "The Nautilus of Dreams,"
这本电子书被你公然抄袭改叫
the eBook you blatantly plagiarized and turned into
《冷冰淇淋和热吻》
"Cold Ice Cream and Hot Kisses."
你知道就因为我真的在乎道德准则
Do you know how much harder my life has been
-我的日子难过了多少吗 -科德
- because I cared about ethics? - Tethics.
这一路来我多次差点丢了自己的企业
I could've lost my company a dozen different times
就因为我不愿意在道德上
because I couldn't compromise
-让步妥协你现在却想把 -科德
- on my ethics, and now you're turning ethics... - Tethics.
-科德 -道德搞成什么面子工程
- Tethics. - ...into some kind of fucking vanity project.
-科德理查德叫科德 -够了
- Tethics, Richard. Tethics. - Stop it.
这词可是我独♥立♥原创的