硅谷

growing up one fateful summer in Maine.
把这个拿给出版商
Now, get that to the publishers.
我希望明天中午就拿到精♥装♥版
I want the hardback in my hand by tomorrow lunchtime.
这点时间可不行
Sir, it takes a bit longer than that.
我们得拿给出版社
We have to send it out to publishing houses
找一个编辑
and then find an editor.
只有第一次写不好的人才找编辑
Editors are for people who can't write correctly the first time.
我们自己印刷就行了
We'll self‐publish.
这个真的和科技无关吗
And this really isn't about tech?
是的 我永远告别科技届了
No. I've left tech for good.
我现在有时间做些重要的事情
Now, I have a chance to do something important.
写一本含沙射影的人物小说
Write a thinly veiled roman à clef
地点设定在鲸鱼主题的民宿里
set in a whale‐themed B and B.
莫妮卡 我刚刚在看组织图
So look, Monica, um, I was looking over the org chart,
我想让你来管理代号♥F
and I think I'm gonna put you in charge of Foxhole.
-什么 -没错
‐ What? ‐ Yeah.
之前我们说到了 也许有人
I mean, while I know that you and I were saying
会觉得它厌女或者有歧视的嫌疑
that maybe some people might find it a little misogynist or offensive.
我想如果我们派一名女性掌权
I think that we if we had a woman at the helm,
也许能改变一些看法 而且你也不大在乎
it might change the optics, and since you don't really care‐‐
不 我在乎 非常在乎
No, I‐I‐I do care. I care deeply.
不 你不关心 你亲口说的
No, you don't. I mean, you literally said,
"如果一群陆战队员想背叛他们的蠢老婆
"If a bunch of dumb Marines wanna cheat
我在乎个毛线"
on their dumb wives, what the fuck do I care?"
我觉得我没这么说过
I don't think I used those exact words.
其实我很确定你是这样说的
I'm pretty sure you did, actually.
你昨晚给我发的信息 看到没
You texted it to me last night, see?
不 但...
No, but‐‐
然后你还说
And then you also said,
"我们不需要了解它 我们只需要卖♥♥掉它
"We don't have to smell it. We just have to sell it.
-只要那些死肥佬..." -好吧
‐ As long as those fat fat fatties‐‐" ‐ Okay.
我昨晚吃了片安♥眠♥药♥
I took an Ambien last night,
也许应该把手♥机♥关掉
and probably should've turned off my phone.
你能把那些删掉吗
Can you delete those?
好吧 莫妮卡 你去办就行
Okay. Monica, just make it work.
拜托了 为了女性
Please? For women.
伯特伦·吉尔弗约尔
Bertram Gilfoyle?
不
No.
我是约翰
I'm John.
好吧
Okay.
我把互利手♥机♥带来了 你想看看吗
I brought the HooliPhones. Would you like to see them?
有人让我帮你整合
I was told to help you with integration.
约翰
You know what, John?
这样很好
That would be grand.
好吧 这些就是
Okay, here they are.
按下说话的互利手♥机♥13-X
The push‐to‐talk HooliPhone 13‐X.
这是一部互利手♥机♥
Here's a HooliPhone right here.
这是一部互利手♥机♥
Here's a HooliPhone right here.
-这是一部... -不要说了
‐ And here's a‐‐ ‐ Stop talking.
坐在那个椅子上
Sit in that chair.
什么都不要碰 什么都不要说
Do not touch or say anything.
好的
Okay.
天哪
Oh my God.
格瓦特 你还记得我跟你说过
Gwart, do you remember how I‐I told you
我在欧扎克斯的自卫队找到了我的生父 但
I found my birth father in that militia in the Ozarks, but...
结果那个家伙是个骗子
then it turned out that guy was a fraud?
我刚去做了个基因测试
Well, um, I just went in for some genetic testing
来确认我的马凡氏综合症诊断结果
to‐to confirm my diagnosis of Marfan syndrome,
结果发现我的亲生父母还活着
and it turns out that my real parents are alive.
他们就住在圣克鲁斯
And they live in Santa Cruz.
而且他们还生活在一起
And they're still together.
我应该怎么做 我应该拜访他们吗
What should I do? Should I visit them?
你生气了吗
Are you upset?
我是不是不该让别人坐这么近
Should I have not allowed somebody to sit so close?
因为我问过你这样好不好
Because I‐I asked you if it was okay.
如果你有意见 你可以...
If you had an issue, you could've...
不 不
No. No.
保护你是我的工作
It is my job to protect you.
那是我的责任
That is my responsibility.
我不应该让你面临这样的状况
I shouldn't have put you in that position.
我道歉 你能原谅我吗
I apologize. Do you forgive me?
没错
Yeah!
对 你说的对
Yeah, you're right!
我会把你们分成四人小组
I'll be splitting you guys into teams of four,
然后给你们分发不同的测试场景 补丁哥
then giving you guys different test scenarios. Hey, Patches!
霍尔登说我们要在楼上开这个会
Hey! Uh, Holden said that we were having this thing upstairs.
是啊 我让大家过来的 这个空间好一点
Yeah, I moved it down here. It's just a better space.
来 坐下吧 你的位置在那里
Go ahead, have a seat. You're over there.
我说过我们应该等你到了再开始 但...
I said we should wait for you to start, but‐‐
时间不等人 对吗 我们有工作要做
The clock is ticking, though, right? We have stuff to do.
忙得很
Busy, busy.
护肘垫 真奇怪 好吧
Elbow pads. Weird. Yeah, okay.
其实 我在互利的第一天...
Uh, actually, the first day I was at Hooli‐‐
没错 我告诉他们了 他们都笑了
Yeah, I told them. I told them. They all laughed.
把它穿上吧 补丁哥
Come on, put it on, Patches.
-我不想穿 -穿上吧 有趣一点
‐ I don't wanna put it on. ‐ Do it! Be fun!
好吧 当然 我可以有趣一点
Yeah, okay, sure. I can be fun.
我觉得挺有意思的
It's kinda funny, I guess.
好 就是这样
Yes! There he is!
补丁哥驾到
There's our Patches!
理查德 听着
Hey, listen, Richard.
你知道我是开玩笑的吧
You know I'm just joking around with you, right?
我们只是为了搞笑 谢谢你这么配合
We're all just having fun. Thanks for being a good sport, okay?
没事 没关系 继续说正事吧
Sure. No problem. Okay. Back to it.
好吧 我刚说到
Right! Okay, so as I was saying,
减少组员
with smaller groups,
做决定可以更快
we'll be able to make faster decisions, right?
轻装上阵
Light on our feet.
比如 理查德这张照片好笑吗
For example, do we think this photo of Richard is funny?
好笑 对吧
We do, don't we?
天哪
God...
好笑的
We do!
好吧 我承认
Okay. Cool, uh, guilty as charged.
我就是爱吃蛋糕 被你发现了
Big cake lover. You got me.
是啊 我做过你一年的顶头上司
Yeah. Well, I mean, I was your boss for a year,
我可是私藏了些你的搞笑图片
so you know I have some funny photos of you squirreled away, right?
我都不知道上司还做这种事 也许吧
Uh, I didn't know that was a thing bosses did, but, yeah, maybe.
说到这点 那是你写的吗
Speaking of which, did you write that?
-哦 -我的天哪
‐ Ooh! ‐ Oh, my God.
已排序列表的大小大于索引加1
And sorted list size is greater than plus, plus index?
你在已排序的列表里用暴♥力♥搜索吗
You ran a brute force search on a sorted list?
那是我第一天上班
Look, guys, it was my first day, and...
-我很紧张 很着急 所以 -是吗
‐ I was nervous, and I was hurrying, so... ‐ Really?
所以你就决定写个史上最慢的子程序出来
That's why you decided to write the slowest subroutine in history?
任何人都可能犯错
Anyone could've made that mistake.
是的没错 其实我可以要求举手表决
Yeah, it's true. In fact, I could ask for a show of hands,
但是与其如此 我还是
but instead of doing that, uh, I'll just, uh...
你会犯那个错误吗
Could you have made that mistake?
你会犯那个错误吗
Could you have made that mistake?
有趣的是他要暴♥力♥搜索房♥间
The joke is that he's doing a brute force search of the room.
-我知道 -那你为什么那么做
‐ Yeah, I know. ‐ Then, why did you do it?
你还会犯那种错误吗
Could you have made that mistake?
理查德 刚才那样算什么
Richard, what the fuck was that?
伊桑就那样
It was just... Ethan being Ethan.
他搞得自己像你老板
He was acting like your boss,
而你孬得像他员工
and you were acting like his noob employee.
不 人人都知道我才是老板
No. Everyone knows I'm the boss.
也许大家都喜欢逗CEO吧
I think people were just excited to, you know, razz the CEO.
-玩笑而已 -我不觉得好笑
‐ It's all in good fun. ‐ I did not have fun.
我看着你被人完虐了90分钟
I watched you get kicked in the balls for 90 minutes.
看得我感同身受 蛋都疼了