女浩克（2022）

我已经分♥析♥过你的血液样本了
Now that I've analyzed your blood samples,
这个如果泄露出去 会非常危险
it's way too dangerous to get out in the world.
雷球 你觉得呢
Thunderball, did you get it?
不行 她那丑陋的绿皮肤刀枪不入
No. I couldn't pierce that nasty green skin.
前情提要
Previously on She-Hulk...
我这里有一份法庭文件 是泰坦妮亚环球有限公♥司♥递交的
I've got court documents filed by Titania Worldwide LLC.
她告你是因为你滥用商标
She's suing for trademark misuse.
你盗用我的名字卖♥♥这些垃圾产品
You're using my name to sell your trashy products.
想成为我的客户 你的着装必须庄重得体
To be my client, dress like you respect yourself
不能穿得像个去法庭认罪的 醉驾橄榄球运动员
and not like a football player pleading no contest to a DUI.
卢克 这位是女浩克
Luke, this is the She-Hulk.
天啊
Oh, my God.
因为我的约会资料是女浩克
Because I made a dating profile as She-Hulk,
跟女浩克约会过的每个对象 都能为我作证
every single one of those dates is a corroborating witness.
假如你见到的不是女浩克
Would you have gone on the date
而是珍妮佛·沃尔特斯 你还会继续这个约会吗
if She-Hulk had instead presented as Jennifer Walters?
她本人不是我喜欢的类型
She's not really my type.
法庭判定胜诉方为 珍妮佛·沃尔特斯 又名女浩克
The court finds in favor of Jennifer Walters, aka She-Hulk.
这事我跟你没完 混♥蛋♥
This isn't over, hater.
珍妮佛 花
你愿意做我的伴娘吗
哈哈 你肯定愿意 爱你的露露
好样的
Oh, goodie.
不行 珍妮佛 你不能穿着 卢克·雅各布森做的商务装
No, Jen, you don't need to bring a Luke Jacobson business suit
去参加婚礼
to the wedding.
你应该穿他给你定制的 那件超级套装
I wanna see the supersuit that he made you.
为什么 我才不♥穿♥
Why? I'll never wear it.
别啊 太吊人胃口了
Come on. You're killing me!
折磨我这么可爱的人 可得罪加一等
It's double the sin to kill a fun person.
我才没有 给你看看卢克为彩排晚宴 给我准备的这身礼服
No, no, no. Look at the dress that Luke made me for the rehearsal dinner.
-什么 -对
- What? - Yeah.
-天啊 -你喜欢吗
- Oh, my God! - Do you love it?
性感女浩克要闪亮登场啦
You're gonna look hot as Shulky.
这才是去参加婚礼的意义呀
That's a reason to go to the wedding.
没错 我确实是因为它才会期待去婚礼
Yes! That's actually the reason I'm really excited to go.
为什么会有人在周四办婚礼
Why does anyone have a wedding on a Thursday?
露露是我高中的老同学
Oh, Lulu's an old friend from high school.
她...她认识我们家所有人 我表弟切德还是婚礼DJ
She's like... She knows my whole family. My cousin Ched is DJing the wedding.
-什么 -真的
- What? - Yes.
但是我们后来就逐渐疏远了 基本不联♥系♥了
But we just, like, gradually grew apart and we don't talk anymore.
那你还给她当伴娘
Why are you a bridesmaid?
也许她...可能觉得不问一声不合适
'Cause she... I think she just felt obligated to ask me.
而我觉得不答应也不合适 怎么能拒绝当伴娘的邀请呀
And I felt obligated to say yes because how do you say no to being a bridesmaid?
你就直接拒绝啊
You just say no.
就是得麻烦马洛里 帮我处理一下工作上的事了
I hate that Mallory has to pick up my slack at work.
一个离婚案子而已
It's just a divorce case.
我终于有机会 和马洛里小姐近距离接触了
It gives me the opportunity to work so much closer with Miss Mallory.
没错 本集是一个婚礼特辑
Yes, it's a self-contained wedding episode.
如果你觉得怎么忽然冒出个婚礼来 那你就对了
And if you think this is happening at an inconvenient time, you're right.
婚礼不都这样嘛 但是我会惊艳全场 敬请期待
'Cause that's how weddings always are. But I'm gonna look great, so let's go.
开始吧
Let's do it!
哇 珍妮佛
Wow, Jen!
这礼服简直太适合你了
Everything about you is just working!
谢谢 希瑟
Thank you, Heather!
看来你真是相当重视这个“大日子”啊
You took that "Toned Up for the Big Day" workout plan seriously.
-当然了 -是啊
- Yeah, I did. - Yeah.
亲爱的 你这翘臀太完美了
Girl, your ass looks crazy right now.
无敌了
Incredible!
谁还没有个翘臀啊 你好 珍妮佛
Everybody has an ass. Hi, Jen.
你好 露露 天啊
Hi, Lulu! Oh, my God!
能借一步说话吗
Um, can I talk to you for a second?
-没想到你会跟我玩这套 -什么
- I can't believe you're doing this. - What?
这样婚礼上你就会成为 全场的焦点了...就靠这个
Taking all the attention away from me with your... This.
没人会看我一眼的
No one's gonna be looking at me.
你才是全场的焦点呢 这是你的大日子
All eyes will be on you. It's your big day.
我知道是我的大日子
I know it's my big day.
我不想让你用女浩克的样子 出现在我的婚礼上
I don't want you to be Hulk-y at my wedding.
向我保证 珍妮佛
Promise me, Jen.
行吗
Promise?
我保证 我只会以珍妮佛的样子 参加你的婚礼
I promise. I will just show up as regular Jen at your wedding.
-谢谢你 -好的 没事 放心吧
- Thank you. - Yeah. Okay. You're okay.
这可是我的大日子
It's my big day!
当然 这次我可不想仅仅是珍妮佛
Obviously, this is the one time I didn't wanna show up as just Jen.
女浩克
第一季第六集
杰克逊 萨姆 格雷格 还有马克 他们是亚当的伴郎
Jackson, Sam, Greg, and Mark. They're Adam's groomsmen.
所以如果大家都要组对的话 我没有伴郎吗
So if everyone's coupled up, do I not have a groomsman?
珍妮佛 你肯定不会一个人的
Jen! We would not leave you hanging like that.
那样婚礼不就乱套了吗
Do you think we want our wedding to look insane?
和你组对的是乔纳森 他明天直接参加正式仪式
You're gonna be walking with Jonathan. He'll be at the ceremony tomorrow.
天啊 乔纳森 我超喜欢他
Oh, my God! Jonathan! I love him.
乔纳森可是万里挑一的极品
Jonathan is literally the best!
太棒了 好的
Oh! Awesome. Okay!
好的 霍利斯先生
All right, Mr. Hollis.
是不朽先生
MR. IMMORTAL: Uh, Mr. Immortal.
不好意思 你刚才不是说 你叫克雷格·霍利斯吗
I'm sorry. Didn't you say your name was Craig Hollis?
没错 但是我更喜欢不朽先生 比较有感觉
It is. But I go by Mr. Immortal. It's pithier.
好吧
Sure.
不朽先生 您继续说
Mr. Immortal, you were saying.
好的 对 我知道我的离婚案子 确实有点与众不同
Right. Yes, I know that this is not your typical divorce case
但是我真的非常需要您的帮助
but I need you to help me out,
否则我得倾家荡产
otherwise this settlement could bleed me dry.
结婚容易离婚难啊
Divorce is hard.
没错 我在婚姻中做过各种尝试
Yeah. It's not like I didn't try marriage out.
真的 尝试了很多次
I did. Several times.
事实上可以这么说 没有人能比我尝试得更多
In fact, it could be said that no one has tried more than me.
这点几乎可以肯定
Probably literally.
我是个好人 不想伤害任何人的感情
I'm a good guy. I don't wanna hurt anybody's feelings.
但是你知道 新鲜感总会过去的
But you know, inevitably, things go stale.
可是又很难向对方坦白
But that is a tough conversation.
“我和你过不下去了”
"I don't want to be married to you anymore.
“我觉得和你在一起 是一种精神折磨”
"I find that you are emotionally suffocating me,
“而且你的睡衣很怪异”
"and you wear weird pajamas."
所以我♥干♥脆冲进高速车流
Can you blame me for walking out into traffic during rush hour
直接一了百了 这总不能怪我了吧
and putting an end to the whole issue right there?
-等等 什么 -我想确认一下
- Wait, what? - Let me get this straight.
你的意思是说 相对于和你的妻子谈离婚的事情
Are you saying that instead of having a conversation with your wife,
你宁愿自杀来结束一段婚姻
you kill yourself to get out of the relationship?
不是 我没有自杀 我的名字叫不朽 所以我死不了
Whoa, whoa, whoa, I don't kill myself. I'm immortal. So, I can't die.
你觉得这位拥有法律学位的女士
You think this woman with a law degree doesn't know
不知道什么叫不朽吗
what immortal means?
好吧 但是就我而言 我确实死了 但是仅限法律层面
Well, but in, in my case, I do die, but only in the legal sense.
所以你确实死了
So you die.
没错 “我确实死了” 但是只是... “算是死了”...但是我确实死了
I do, "I die." But only for a... "Kinda die" for... But I do die.
你不觉得这种伎俩挺可耻的吗
Did you ever feel bad about this tactic?
-我都说了 我是个好人 -就你自己这么觉得
- Like I said, I'm a nice guy. - You said that.
总之 如果你们有机会试试
Yeah, if you have the opportunity,
我觉得这绝对是结束婚姻 最体贴的一种方式
I think this is the most considerate way to end a marriage.
体贴这词用得不太合适吧
That's not the word you want.
不 你其实就是那种 根本不敢面对冲突的人
No, you just don't know how to have any sort of confrontation whatsoever.
我觉得...
Oh, I thought that this...
律师是不应该对人说三道四的吧
That lawyers were supposed to not be judgmental.
不会 他们只会为你发声 我觉得就先到这吧
No, they just have to represent you. I'm tapping out.
不可否认 结束一段婚姻非常痛苦 但是丧偶也同样很痛苦
Obviously, ending a relationship is hard. But so is grieving the death of a spouse.
现在我反倒不知道该替谁操心了 政♥府♥ 税收
I'm not sure who I should worry about. The government, tax?
牵扯保险理赔吗
Was there an insurance claim?
好吧 至少咱们知道他是怎么做的了
Well, at least now we know how he does it.
珍妮佛 都怪我 我们都没机会聊上几句
Oh, Jen. Jen. I'm the worst. We haven't even gotten to catch up at all.
你怎么样 一切都顺利吗
How are you? What have you been up to?
我...
Oh, I'm...
其实我当上古利库霍 新部门的负责人了
Actually, I'm the head of a new department at GLK and H,
全国最顶尖的律所之一
which is, like, one of the most prestigious law firms in the country,
然后 你也看到了 我还有了超能力 非常厉害