女浩克（2022）

你第一次约会要干什么 开视频会吗
What's your first date gonna be? Webinar?
-这就是我不想给你看的原因 -好吧 我不是在批评你
- This is why I didn't want to show you. - Okay, there's no judgment.
但是这张真的不行
But that was a really bad choice.
-好吧 -天啊 你在划选人吗
- Oh, okay. - Oh, my God. Are you swiping?
当然了 没事 数量决定质量 对吗
Yes, of course. Come on. It's a numbers game, all right?
看过五百人以后 大概有三分之一还算合适的
After 500 swipes, you'll get about a third of those as matches.
然后才能开始正式筛选
And that's when the real filtering happens.
-谈个恋爱太不容易了 -妮基 你别胡闹了
- Oof. Hetero life is grim. - Nikki, you're not helping.
我没胡闹 我有个好主意 要是你的资料...
Yes, I am. Come on. This is good. What if you made a profile,
听我说完...用女浩克呢
hear me out, as She-Hulk?
-我以为你讨厌女浩克这个名字 -我确实讨厌
- I thought you hated the name She-Hulk. - I do.
但是不知道为什么总会提到 这名字太上口了
I don't know. I can't stop saying it. It's really catchy.
不行 如果我要约会 必须得是珍妮佛的形象
No. If I'm gonna date, it's gonna be as Jen.
-好吧 -正常的原来的珍妮佛
- All right. - Regular old Jen.
我上班已经是女浩克了
I already have to be She-Hulk in the office.
-女浩克 -女浩克
- She-Hulk. - She-Hulk.
看匹配了一个 不当女浩克我也能找到对象
- Ah. See? A match. I do not have to be She-Hulk to get a date.
把我的手♥机♥还给我 别烦我了
- Now give me back my phone. You're killing me.
科尔内留斯·P·维洛斯 神秘城♥堡♥的主人和奇幻负责人
所以这是我们的正式警告 请停止一切使用秘术的行为
So, consider this an official warning to cease all practices of the Mystic Arts.
-真荒唐 魔法不属于任何人 -对 魔法不属于任何人
- Absurd. You can't own magic. - Yeah, you can't own magic.
你不能给精神注册商标 给灵魂申请专利 艺术也没有版权
And you can't trademark a spirit, register a soul, copyright art.
其实艺术是有版权的
You can copyright art. Yes.
-简直是胡扯 -简直是胡扯
- This is a farce. - This is a farce.
你就是给他帮腔的吗
Are you just hype-manning him?
-差不多吧 -王 你到底想干什么
- Maybe. - What's the matter, Wong?
你是不是担心我的魔力超过你啊
Are you scared I'll become more mystical than you?
至上尊者与世无争
The Sorcerer Supreme doesn't engage in competition,
但是我睡着了魔力也比你强
but I am more mystical in my sleep.
-证明来看看 -对 证明来看看
- Prove it. - Yeah, prove it.
不用了 根本没有需要证明的事
No. No one is proving anything.
-这是停止侵害警告信 -停止侵害警告信
- Here is a cease and desist. - Cease and desist?
什么停止侵害警告信
What cease and desist?
真神奇
- Fantastic.
-对 就快从你衣服里掉出来了 -不 才没有
- Yeah, it's sticking out of your shirt. - No, it isn't.
好吧 那就法庭上见吧
All right. We will see you gentlemen in court.
-该死 -某人在用“配对”呢
- Oh, shit.
你有1个新配对
Ooh, someone's on Matcher. Ooh.
-那是什么 -向右划通过请求 来个刺♥激♥的约会吧
- What's Matcher? - Hey, swipe right for a hot date.
球还给你
Got your ball.
“不 警官 是那辆婴儿车撞到了我”
"No, Officer. That stroller hit me."
这就是我被加拿大温尼伯 终身禁驾的原因
And that's how I got a lifetime ban from Winnipeg, Canada.
无所谓 我讨厌洛杉矶 这里的人太虚伪了
Anyway, I hate LA. Everyone here is so phony.
我可是个地道的纽约人
See, I'm a New Yorker, through and through.
-你在纽约住了多久 - 14个月
- Oh, how long did you live there? - Fourteen months.
因为我不满足于 低声下气地伺候霸道总裁 明白吗
But I decided I couldn't just be a yes-man to some stiff boss, you know?
所以我选择自己创业了
- Mmm-hmm. - That's why I'm an entrepreneur.
-做什么买♥♥卖♥♥呢 -目前待定
- Hmm. In what field? - TBD.
-那你是干什么的 -我是个律师
- So what do you do? - Uh, I'm a lawyer.
我刚开始在一个市中心的律所工作 名字叫古利库霍 你听说过吗
I just started at a firm downtown, GLK and H. Have you heard of it?
当然 我知道市中心
Yeah, I know downtown.
我是超能人类法务部的负责人
I'm running a superhuman law division.
-因为我有超能力 -好吧
-'Cause I have superpowers. - Okay.
我是个浩克 我能单手举起一辆大型轿车
- I'm a Hulk. - I can lift a full-size sedan with one hand.
好吧
Okay.
-和你聊得很开心 -对 确实很开心
- This has been so great. - Yeah, it really has.
好吧 那就谢谢你请我喝东西了
All right, thank you so much for the drinks.
不客气
Yeah. For sure.
-我们改天再约 -好主意
- Hey, we should do this again. - There's an idea.
我是艾伦 我给她打六分吧 差不多
- This is Alan. She's, like a six, maybe.
天啊
Oh, my God.
法官大人 我们向法庭递交了诉状 和申请临时禁止令的动议
Your Honor, we have filed a complaint and a motion for preliminary injunction
基于被告行为 构成不正当竞争和重大过失
against the defendant citing unfair competition and gross negligence.
原告律师 我必须声明 我很难相信
I must say, Counselor, I am hard-pressed
表演魔术能构成重大过失
to believe that a magic trick could constitute gross negligence.
你有任何证人 能够证实你的主张吗
Do you have any witnesses who can corroborate your claim?
-不行 -这个案子你想不想赢
- No, no, no, no. - Do you want to win this or not?
王有 我们有 法官大人
Wong? Yes, we do, Your Honor.
我现在要给你们表演 我上高中时跳的舞蹈动作
I'm gonna show you my high school dance routine right now.
老王
Wongers!
你好
Hi.
你是不是因为发短♥信♥吃了罚单
Oh, did you get a ticket for texting?
你就说你是发给911的 他们就没法告你了
Just say you were texting 911. They can't prosecute.
不是你想的那样 而且你说的也不可能
That isn't what this is and that's not true.
我想问你几个问题 请过来一下...
I wanna ask you a few questions, so if you come this way...
-乐意效劳 -好
- I'd love that. - Yeah.
-请坐 -没问题 还挺好玩的
- Have a seat over there. - Okay. This is fun.
大慈大悲的观♥世♥音♥菩萨保佑
Guanyin, please give us extra mercy.
这里不能喝酒
You can't bring that drink in here.
你想喝就喝了吧 我没病
You can finish it if you want. I'm not sick.
我保证我说的都是真话
I promise to tell the truth.
-真的没事 -可以说出你的名字以供记录吗
- No, seriously. - Could you state your name for the record?
玛迪辛·金 写法是两个N一个Y 和你想的那个地名不一样
Madisynn King. Madisynn is with two N's, one Y, but it's not where you think.
-能给我们拼出来吗 -没问题 当然可以
- Could you just spell it for us? - Absolutely, I will. For sure.
M-A-D-I-S-Y-N-N
M-A-D-I-S-Y-N-N.
能讲讲你在多尼·布拉茨魔术秀 那晚的事吗
Could you tell us about the night you participated in Donny Blaze's show?
当然 一开始他给我变了朵玫瑰花 闻起来什么味都没有
Oh, sure. So, first he gave me roses that didn't smell like anything.
-然后他把我推进了一片火海 -那一定非常可怕
- And then he pushed me into a fire land. - That must have been terrifying.
你是如何逃脱的
How did you escape?
我和一个恶魔达成了约定 但是不能透露内容
I made a pact with a demon that I cannot discuss.
否则他就会 “撕碎我和我爱的人的灵魂”
Otherwise he said he would "reap my soul and the souls of all I love,"
坦白地说 有点太浮夸了 我讨厌这种虚假的感觉
which, honestly, is so dramatic. And I hate drama.
-好吧 这就是个错误 -这可是你的主意
- Okay, this was a mistake. - It was your idea.
那个恶魔 我记得好像叫杰克
The demon, I think his name is Jake.
-我认识杰克 -你认识
- I know Jake. Yeah. - You do?
他打开了一个传送门 把我扔到了老王家
Opened a portal that dropped me off at Wongers' house,
然后我和老王就成闺蜜了
and that's how we became besties.
请问你如何描述这场奇幻旅途中 你的精神状态
And how would you describe your emotional state during this saga?
问得好
Great question.
一开始我觉得挺好玩 然后很害怕 然后又觉得好玩
At first it was fun. Then scary, then fun again.
然后有点惊悚 不过也挺好玩的
Then spooky but in a fun way.
好吧...谢谢你 玛迪辛 你可以坐下了
Yeah, that's... Thank you. Madisynn, you can sit down.
-不用谢 -好
- Welcome. - Yeah.
-法官大人 我申请驳回起诉 -来吧
- Your Honor, I move to dismiss. - Let's go.
如您所见 多尼的魔术表演 是一场欢乐与惊悚的体验
As you can see, Donny's performance is a fun and spooky experience,
根据本人的专业意见 这种体验对魔术而言堪称完美
which is the sweet spot for magic, in my professional opinion.
最重要的是 魔术是没有版权的东西
The bottom line, you cannot copyright magic.
-没有 -我们有例可循
- No. - There is precedent.
你们所援引的那个判例
The precedent that you are referring to
是扑克牌戏法和大变活人
is for card tricks and disappearing women who never speak.
这与本案的情形完全不同 因为秘术实际上是真正的魔法
This is very different because the Mystic Arts is, in fact, real magic.
-一派胡言 -真正的魔法
- How dare you? - Real magic?
我这不算是真正的魔法吗 法官阁下
Is this not real magic, Your Elegancy?
变黑了
- Black.
你相信眼见为实吗
- Can you believe your eyes?
颜色变了
It changed color.
-还要再来点真正的魔法吗 -天啊 连律师都是魔术师
- More real magic? - Oh, my God. Even the lawyer's a magician.
可以了
- That is enough.
请允许我说两句 法官阁下
- If I may say a few words, Your Highness? - Uh...
这个案子的影响远超您的想象
This case travels beyond these courtroom walls.
您面前的这个人企图操纵神的力量
The men you see are seeking to wield the power of gods.
这会让我们的生活危在旦夕
And that places us on the edge of a precipice.
一个凡人掀起如此之大的波澜时
One man in the mortal realm has the ability to cause a ripple so great,
每个次元都会产生连锁反应
it reverberates through every dimension.
这种影响会波及每个星系 并且彻底摧毁
And that ripple through galaxies has the ability to destroy all life
宇宙中所有已知或未知的生命
within the known and unknown universe.
可以结案了
Case closed!
好吧 不行 离结案还早着呢
Okay. No. This case is far from closed.
我会评估所有的动议 并在几周后做出决定
I'll need to review the motion, and you'll have my decision in a few weeks.
法官大人 在此期间 您能批准临时禁止令吗
Your Honor, in the interim, could you grant us the preliminary injunction
以防被告再次出现这种危险的行为