瑞克和莫蒂（2013）

and scarier to unite against, you little idiot.
现在他们一致对外了 你个智障
They would have gone back into the Dark Ages
他们本可以在几代之内就
for a couple of generations,
堕回暗黑时代
but instead, they dedicated themselves
但他们没有坐以待毙
into making universe-destroying,
而是竭尽所能来研发毁天灭地
un-thought-out technology like time travel
不去掂量后果的科技 比如时间旅行
all so they could try to kill a little shit sack on Earth
而他们研发那些大杀器就是为了杀死
who couldn't let a dead snake be dead even after it bit his ankle.
你这被蛇咬了脚踝还舍不得蛇死的地球小菜逼
Next time, stay in the fucking car.
下回你♥他♥妈♥给我老老实实呆在飞船里
17 billion snake lives ended on June 21, 2026.
2026年6月21日 170亿条蛇失去了生命
The survivors lived only to face a new nightmare,
唯一摆在幸存者面前的 是新的噩梦
the war between snake and machine.
蛇与机械的战争
In the end, snake overcame machine
最后 蛇战胜了机械
because of what we couldn't predict --
原因是我们没能预料到
that an alien, a child from a distant star, would save us.
一个来自遥远外星的小孩 会拯救我们
W-Where are we going? W-What are we doing here, Rick?
我我我们要去哪儿 我我我们在这儿干啥呢 Rick
We got to get the heart of Snake Net.
我们必须深入到蛇网的腹地
Now, shut up, and stay close.
赶紧 闭嘴吧 跟紧点儿
Resistance is mouselike.
反抗军就像老鼠似的
Whoa, hey, look. That one's actually really cool.
嘿瞧 那哥们儿还真有点酷
Come here, little guy.
过来 小伙
Ah, you little son of a bitch.
你个狗♥娘♥养♥的
Come on, Morty.
跟上 Morty
Your brood must be exterminated.
你的幼崽必须被消灭
You will not kill her or her brood.
你不能伤害她和幼崽
Must kill brood and mother. Get behind me.
必须杀死幼崽和母亲 站我后面
Your brood will seed all life on this planet.
你的幼崽将播撒这个星球的所有生命
That doesn't make sense. That didn't make sense.
那讲不通啊 那讲不通啊
Hey, it's -- it's Slippy!
啊这 这是滑仔
Keep up, shit bag.
跟上 屎包
Hi, you went directly to voicemail
嗨 你直接进了语♥音♥信箱
because your number is not in my phone.
说明你的号♥码不在我通讯录里
Don't leave a message.
不要留言
Hi, honey.
嗨 亲爱的
Uh, look. Morty told me that you didn't think
听着 Morty告诉我 你觉得
I could hang lights without killing myself.
我可能会在挂灯时失手杀掉自己
Look, I want to be a strong man for you, but the truth is --
听着 我想成为你的爷们儿 但事实是
The truth is, I'm coming home with the best lights ever.
事实是 我要带着最棒的灯回家
Whoa, feel that turbulence?
感觉到气流了么
Nope, I'm on molly.
没 我磕药了
Give me some. Ahh.
给我也来点儿
I don't suppose you guys will take a bribe?
我猜你们这帮家伙不收贿赂吧
Anyone else want legs?
还谁要腿
God damn it. Are you kidding me?
天啊 他妈的在逗我吗
I thought there'd be a time machine in here.
我还以为这能有个时光机
They're not even a quarter of the way through making it.
可他们连四分之一都没造完呢
I'm gonna have to invent it for them.
我还得帮他们发明这玩意儿
I-I don't know snake math.
我 我不会蛇的数学
Ugh, I didn't want to have to do this.
啊我真不爱这么搞
Fuck. All right.
好吧
W-What's going on? What are you doing?
咋 咋的了 你干啥呢
I'm reminding myself to commit even more to your fuck up.
我在提醒未来的自己 为你这破事还得忙活更多
Hey, assholes.
嘿 混♥蛋♥们
Fuck you. Takes one to know one.
去你♥妈♥的♥ 我混♥蛋♥那你也混♥蛋♥
What the heck?
有没有搞错
Hey, man, you you okay? You know what? Fuck you.
嘿 老哥 你 你没事吧 你知道么 我♥干♥♥你♥妈♥的
What? Screw you. Here.
什么 去你♥妈♥的♥ 给你
Come on. Was it really that hard?
别闹 真有那么难吗
What do you think? Come on, Morty.
你以为呢 咱们走 Morty
Man, I-I-I wonder why I had a black eye.
老哥 我我我有点儿好奇 为啥我眼睛肿了
Morty, shut the fuck up and put these on.
Morty 闭上逼嘴 穿上这些
Okay, so w-what are we doing?
行吧 所以我我我们在干啥
That book has everything they need to create snake time travel,
那本书里有蛇要做到时间旅行所需要的一切
a-and they're getting it in 1985, snake time.
而且它们是在蛇历1985年拿到它的
Now, they're gonna do it so early that it won't involve us,
这样 它们就早早做了这事儿 就不会影响到我们
and they're gonna be even stupider with it.
有了这个它们甚至会变更蠢
Huh, a-and then what?
然 然后呢
We're removing ourselves from this sloppy,
我们正在让自己脱离这个草率的
fucked up story and letting snake time travel
傻♥逼♥故事 并引导蛇通过时间旅行
eat its own tail.
吃下自己的尾巴
Just have to keep my grip.
只要抓牢就没问题
Jerry Smith, I am here to save you.
Jerry Smith 我是来救你的
What? I already told Rick I don't want help.
你说啥 我已经告诉Rick了 我不要帮助
I do not know Rick.
我不认识什么Rick
I was sent by a society of human-snake hybrids...
我是人蛇杂交社群派来的
Classic Rick. ...from an alternate version
典型的Rick 来自另一个平行
I did it! We're landing!
我做到了 要着陆了
I knew I could do it.
我就知道我能做到
Jesus Christ, Rick, it's pandemonium out there!
天啊 Rick 外面一片混乱
T-This is worse than when we left.
这 这比我们离开时还要糟
Rick, look, Summer!
Rick 快看 Summer
Nobody chokes me without consent.
未经允许 谁也不能掐我脖子
Y-You just made things worse, Rick.
你 你把事情变得更糟了 Rick
Trust me, Morty.
相信我 Morty
We helped them press on the gas pedal.
我们帮着踩了脚油门
We just got to wait for them to blow by a cop.
只需等警♥察♥来把他们带走
Shleemypants here, what's up?
这里是Shleemypants 怎么了
Snakes? Time travel? They did what?
蛇 时间旅行 他们干了什么
How the fuck did -- Okay, okay, I'm on it.
他们他♥娘♥的♥是怎么 好吧好吧 我来搞定
We got a 10-51 on a goddamn snake planet.
有个狗♥日♥的♥蛇佬星球报来了个10-51
Don't look at me. I'm afraid of snakes.
别看我 我怕蛇
"I'm afraid of snakes," Bullshit.
“我怕蛇” 放你♥娘♥的♥屁
You afraid of work. That's what you afraid of.
你就是怕工作 那才是你怕的
All right. All right.
好吧 好吧
Let's go take care of this.
我们去收拾这破事吧
Oh, look at you.
哇哦 看看你
You a smart snake, huh?
你可真是条聪明蛇 是吧
You using tools now, huh?
你在用工具哈
Those tools are gonna turn into you
这些工具迟早会让你
manipulating the fabric of shit.
有能力操控他♥娘♥的♥时空织体
Get over here, motherfucker. What the fuck you think you doing?
过来 狗♥娘♥养♥的 你他♥娘♥的♥以为你在干嘛
Don't fuck with time. You don't fuck with time.
别他♥娘♥的♥乱搞时间 不许你乱他♥娘♥的♥搞时间
Holy shit. What happened?
我的天啊 发生了啥
Look, this is better than them attacking us.
这总比它们攻击我们要好多了
Also, that's about as much curvature as you're gonna get from a time-travel story.
还有 那就是你们能在时间旅行的故事里找到的所有和曲率有关的东西了
You know what? This one counts as one of your adventures.
知道吗 这回要算一次“Morty冒险”
Hey, come on. No freebies.
搞什么 没有免费的午餐
Aw, man, I-I wanted to go to Boob World.
天哪 我还想去奶♥子♥世界玩玩呢
Well, now, we can't because you fucked up.
这个嘛 现在我们去不了了 因为你搞砸了
Got to learn a lesson.
好好反省一下吧
You want to go to Boob World, Summer?
你想去奶♥子♥世界吗 Summer
Eh, not today.
今天不想
This sucks.
唉 无聊
Hey, honey, check it out.
嘿 宝贝 快看
Jerry, I was worried about you.
Jerry 我刚刚很担心你
Oh, just killing some snakes up here like everyone else, I guess, and finishing the Christmas lights.
啊 和你们一样 我大概就是在这上头杀了杀蛇 还顺手把这些圣诞灯弄好了
Wait, the whole time?
等下 你其实一直都在这吗
I was screaming for help, and you stayed on the roof?
所以我刚刚不停呼救的时候 你也站在这屋顶上吗
I couldn't hear you over my own screaming.
我自己尖叫的时候听不到你的声音
We've talked about this.
我们以前讨论过这事儿的
Well, I'm just glad you're safe.
好吧 你安全就挺好
Well, duh, of course, I'm safe.
啊 废话啦 我当然很安全
Hey, guess what, asshole.
嘿 看到了吗 混♥蛋♥
I did it without you.
我不需要你也能做到
Oh, God, it hurts.
天哪 好疼
What was that?
那是啥
I healed your leg 50%.
我把你的腿治好了一半
The rest is on you, big man.
另一半靠你自己 爷们儿
That's what I'm talking about. Respect, my brother.
这就对了 Respect 兄弟
Geez, your dad sucks. All right, Morty.
天 你♥爸♥真傻♥逼♥ 好了 Morty