瑞克和莫蒂（2013）
Rick and Morty S04E04
Part 1
Oct. 6, 2020, 11:43 a.m.
Rick, we did it! We -- We got it!
Rick 我们成功了 我们拿到了
Hurry up, Morty. Get in!
快点 Morty 进来
Chachi! Fuck Chachi, Morty.
Chachi 别管Chachi了 Morty
Did you get it? He helped me escape prison.
你拿到了吗 是他帮我越狱的
Did you get the Ultimate Cube?
我问你有没有拿到终极魔方
Oh, it's purple.
行吧 是紫色的
Y-You said it was purple.
你说过它是紫色的
I said mine was.
我是说我的那个是紫的
I didn't know they all were.
我不知道都是紫的
And now we do, thanks to Chichi.
现在知道了 感谢Chichi
Chachi.
是Chachi
So, uh, w-w-when do I get it?
所以 呃 什什什么时候能给我
Get what, a hug?
给你啥 一个拥抱吗
Let's find a planet with a garden hose first.
等我们找到有园艺橡胶管的星球再说吧
A dragon. A dragon.
要龙啊 龙啊
You asked me to cut class and fight robots with you.
是你让我翘课去帮你打机器人的
I said, "No."
我说 “不”
You said, "Millions of lives depend on it."
你说 “几百万条生命就在此一战了”
I said, "I'll do it for a dragon."
我说 “给我龙我就干”
You said, "Whatever."
你说 “啥都行”
I want my dragon.
我要我的龙
You know who's into dragons, Morty?
Morty 你知道什么人才喜欢龙吗
Nerds that refuse to admit they're Christian.
拒绝承认自己信基♥督♥的书呆子们
I want my dragon. Let me give you rocket shoes.
我要龙 给你双火箭鞋怎么样
Let me give you Wolverine claws.
金刚狼的爪子呢
Let me give you a fucking rocket hat.
要不来一顶他妈的火箭帽吧
Just be sure to use it with the rocket shoes,
记得和火箭鞋配套使用
or it'll rip your head off.
不然你的头会被甩掉
I want my dragon! I want my dragon!
我要我的龙 我要我的龙
I want my dragon!
我要我的龙
Oh, crap.
哦 操
Crap.
完犊子了
Dad, are you okay?
爸 你还好吗
Your ship crashed in Malta.
你的飞船在马耳他坠毁了
I'm okay.
我没事儿
Oh, thank God.
谢天谢地
Dad, did you promise Morty a dragon?
爸 你是不答应Morty要给他条龙
Fuuuuuuu--
次奥奥奥
Bleed here and here.
把血滴在这儿 还有这儿
I'm not co-bleeding.
我才不掺和
Under authority of our treaty
基于以下条约所述之协定
'twixt the realms of dragon and man...
“在人类世界与龙的王国之间”
Oh, my God, it's my first gay wedding.
哦天 我还是头一回参加同志婚礼
Summer!
Summer
...I hereby bind this noble serpent and rider
在此 我将这条高贵的龙与他的驾驭者
at the soul.
进行灵魂绑定
Here's your tome of dragon spells and lore.
这本书上写了和龙有关的咒语以及其他知识
That'll have everything you need.
上面有你需要的一切
Enjoy your dragon.
和你的龙好好玩儿吧
Okay, dragon, here's the house rules.
听着 龙 这个房♥子里有如下规则
My name is Balthromaw,
吾名茅彻
breaker of sky, slayer of mountain.
天之破坏者 山之戮徒
Rule one -- You are now scooper of your own poops,
第一条 自己铲屎
or I will take you down like the black-light poster you are.
不然我会像拆掉黑光海报一样对待你
I don't got any more rules. That's it.
其他没了 就这一条
I'm guessing you'd rather not be tagged in this.
你应该不想在照片里被圈出来吧
Okay, I'll bite.
好吧 我上钩了
What's with the talking cat?
那只会说话的猫是什么情况
It's a dragon, dip knob.
是龙 你个二货
I know that's a dragon.
我知道屋外的是龙
I'm talking about the talking cat in my bedroom.
我说的是我房♥间里的说话猫
Jerry, why would I give Morty a talking dragon and you a talking cat at the same time?
Jerry 为什么我在给Morty一条会说话的龙的同时 又给你一只会说话的猫呢
Those concepts bump.
那岂不是撞车了
If you're talking to a cat, it's an abnormal event
如果你和猫对话了 这事儿确实不正常
unrelated to me like when you went to Pluto
但与我无关 就像你去冥王星
or fucked my daughter.
或者干我女儿
Okay, there's really no need to get savage.
好吧 也没必要这么乱咬人
So?
所以呢
Eh, he says he has nothing to do with your talking.
他说你能说话跟他没啥关系
Told you. So then why are you talking?
跟你说过喽 所以你为什么会说话呢
Why should that matter? Why should it not matter?
这有什么要紧的呢 难道不要紧吗
How do I know I'm not hallucinating? Rick said this is an abnormal event.
我怎么能分清是不是我出幻觉了 Rick说这事儿不正常
Do you always need Rick to tell you what's going on?
你总是需要Rick来告诉你发生什么了吗
Maybe it's time you stopped asking questions
也许你该停止发问了
and started having fun.
然后开始去找点儿乐子
Wow, okay.
哇哦 行吧
So, what do you want? I want you to take us to the airport
那 你想要什么呢 我想要你带我去机场
and get us two first-class tickets to Florida.
然后买♥♥两张去佛罗里达的头等舱机票
Why, I -- I can do that.
为什 我 我可以的
Oh, this is so cool!
这也太酷了吧
I await your next command.
恭候您的下个命令
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Nobody is commanding anybody.
别别别 没有谁命令谁
I love soaring through the sky with you as equals. W-What do you want to do?
我更喜欢你我平等相处 共同翱翔天际 那 那你现在想做什么呢
I want to enter my lair and sleep upon my hoard
我想回我的龙窝 趴在我的私家收藏上
until the Age of Man expires.
一觉睡到人类灭绝
Okay.
好吧
Split the diff?
要不咱们取个折中
20-minute nap and soar through the sky?
你睡20分钟起来 然后咱们继续上天
As you command.
悉听尊便
Okay, see you soon.
好嘞 一会儿见
T-This is fun.
这 这还是挺有意思的
Yeah, right.
对 可不是嘛
What's this show called, "Ass"?
这是啥剧来着 《识股寻凶》么
Yeah, it's like "Bones," but they solve ass crimes.
对 和《识骨寻踪》差不多 区别在于这剧破的是屁♥股♥谜案
This ass is a clue.
这个屁♥股♥是条线索
Are these two gonna hook up?
这一对儿后来会搞上吗
No, and only the lame fans want that.
不会 脑残粉才这样想
Don't tell me how to enjoy things.
轮不到你教我怎么追剧
Go to her ass. That's Brenner.
和她在一起吧 Ass 人家叫Brenner
Go to Brenner Ass.
和Brenner在一起吧 Ass
Honeymoon over already?
蜜月期结束了吗
What's that supposed to mean?
你到底想表达什么
Admit it, Morty. Dragons suck.
你就承认吧Morty 龙太没劲了
Why don't you admit you don't anyone else to be happy
为什么不是你承认自己是个操蛋的臭老头
because you're a sad old fart?
不希望别人过得爽呢
How do you saddle a fart?
我有点好奇是怎么操到蛋的
Holy shit. Look!
我♥操♥ 快看
I love you, Ass. I love you, Brenner.
我爱你 Ass 我也爱你 Brenner
No. Shh.
不是吧 嘘
And that's the end of the "Morty Gets a Dragon" episode.
《Morty驯龙记》这出戏肯定是没得再唱了
Are you gonna slay it?
你是准备大杀四方吗
First off, I always slay it, queen.
首先 小妞 哥的气场一向是大杀四方
Secondly, yes. Should I pause "Ass"?
其次 你说得对 要我暂停《识股寻凶》吗
Nah, it's kind of boring now that they're together.
算了吧 他们已经在一起了 后面没啥意思了
Hey, fuckface.
嗨 屌♥毛
Will you shut the fuck up or at least roll over?
你♥他♥妈♥能小声点吗 翻个身也行啊
Oh, no, it burns.
不要啊 烧得我好疼呀
Oh, my God. Oh, the fire of -- of it all.
我的天呐 这些火啊什么的也太可怕了吧
Ah, if only I had prepared better
要是我能想起来
for this terrifying battle by remembering
龙唯一广为人知的特点
the only thing dragons are known for.
我就能更好地为这场恶战做准备了
Careful you don't get heartburn.
小心点儿别灼伤了肠胃哦
I made that android with a lot of C4.
我用了好多C4炸♥药♥来做那个机器人呢
Oh, I'm sorry. I imbued it with
啊 抱歉 改用你的文法
a remote-controlled explode-y potion.
遥制火♥药♥既充于内 （里面装了遥控炸♥药♥）
You have bested me.
你征服了我
I am at your service.
现在起我为你效劳
Good to be on the same parchment.
能与汝至于所同 乐甚 （很高兴和你达成一致）
Now, I'm gonna tell my grandson you ran off with a low-flying 747 while you pack up your --
现在 在我告诉我外孙你跟一架低飞的747私奔了之前 赶紧收拾好你的
Wait, is this -- Why do you have an original
等等 这是 你为什么会有
瑞克和莫蒂（2013）
Rick and Morty
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