公园与游憩（2009）

好的 大家看 这就是一个不能吃的植物的例子
Okay, now, see, here's a good example of a plant that you can't eat.
看到这些刺了吗
See all the spikes?
两件事 第一 它有毒 第二 它会伤人
So, two things. One, it's poisonous. And two, it would hurt.
公园部门有非常多的活动
The Parks Department has so many programs.
Jerry负责少年远足活动
Jerry's in charge of our pre-teen nature hikes.
曾经是青少年远足活动
For a while, it was a teenage nature hike,
但我们改掉了 因为有个女孩子怀孕了
but then we changed it because a girl got pregnant.
看看这有什么 金银花 Pawnee本地植物
Look what we have here, country honeysuckle, Pawnee-style.
看看吧 - 哇
Yeah, take a look at that. - Wow.
很好看 闻起来也很香
It's pretty and it smells good.
嗯 真香
Mmm. Smells great.
是的 很好 - 嗯
Yeah, it's really nice. - Mmm.
嚼起来好苦 - Leslie 那个不能吃
Oh, that's bitter. - Leslie, you don't eat it.
哦 那你为什么让我吃了呢
Oh! Why did you let me eat that?
我没跟你说能吃啊
I never told you to eat that.
哦 天啊
Oh! God.
Leslie 动物都知道不能吃金银花的
Leslie, the animals know you don't eat the country honeysuckle.
我又不是动物 我舌头肿了
I'm not an animal. My tongue is swelling up.
不 别碰 不 不行
No, don't touch it! No, you can't...
好吧 现在得把它丢掉了
Okay, now you'll have to throw that away.
别吓到孩子 - 好
Let's not scare the kids. - Okay.
好吧 好吧 - 好 我们去那边
All right. All right. - Well, there we go then.
看看这边有什么
Let's see what else is here.
告诉他们哪些植物能吃吧 Jerry
So let's tell them what other plants we can eat, Jerry.
我还是得说 余味还挺甜的
But I have to say, there's a very sweet aftertaste though.
所以我有条好消息
So I have a piece of good news.
我邀请了一位记者来采访
I've invited a reporter to come do an article
写一篇关于你房♥子旁大坑的文章
about the pit behind your house.
她给Pawnee日报写稿
She writes for the Pawnee Journal,
相当是我们镇上的华♥盛♥顿♥邮♥报♥
which is kind of like our town's Washington Post.
听起来不错
That sounds really good.
谢谢 Ann 这是经典策略
Thank you, Ann. It is a classic strategy.
媒体是武器 可以用来杀人 也可以用来养人
The press is a weapon and you can use it to kill people or to feed people.
你知道 项目开始时都是很脆弱的
You know, the beginning of projects are very vulnerable,
需要保证一定的媒体曝光率
and you have to make sure that you get a lot of press,
因为这种动力会保持项目活力 不然就会死掉
'cause the momentum of that can kind of keep it alive, or else it'll die.
你肯定记得Tucker公园涂鸦清除项目
I mean, I'm sure you remember the Tucker Park Graffiti Removal Project.
Tucker公园涂鸦清除项目是个好想法
The Tucker Park Graffiti Removal Project was a great idea
但后来泄气了
that just ran out of steam.
我们只清除了5个卡♥通♥阴♥茎♥ 不到10%
We had removed five cartoon penises, not even 10%,
然后因为资金不足被迫停止了
when we were shut down due to lack of funding.
至今我还因为那些剩下的阴♥茎♥做噩梦
To this day, I am haunted by those remaining penises.
尤其是其中一个
One penis in particular.
那个记者来了以后
Now, when the reporter gets here,
最关键的就是依照我的准则
it is vital that we all follow my rules
来应对媒体
about how to deal with the media.
准则一 别跑题 这是关键
Rule number one, stay on message. This is key.
我们要聊的只是这个大坑
All we need to talk about is the pit,
以及要把它建成公园的事情
and the fact that we're gonna turn it into a park.
就这样 行吗
And that's it. Okay?
准则二
Number two...
什么 还是别跑题
What? Stay on message again?
是的 就有那么重要
Yes, it's that important.
第一条和第二条 别跑题和别跑题 行吧
It's one and two. Stay on message and stay on message. Right?
别跑什么 Ann
Stay on what, Ann?
题 - 棒
Message. - Great.
Leslie一周内就成立了填坑的委员会
Leslie formed a committee to fill the pit in a week,
让人印象深刻
which is really impressive.
迄今为止我和政♥府♥打交道的经验
I mean, until now, my only experience with government
只有想拿到一个垃圾桶
was trying to get a recycling bin.
等等 我拿到了没
Wait. Did I ever get it?
拜 Leslie - 拜 Ann
Bye, Leslie. - Bye, Ann.
嘿 Mark
Hey, Mark?
在
Yeah.
喝咖啡不
Buy you a cup of coffee?
这是JJ餐厅 Pawnee镇政♥治♥精英的非正式聚会场所
This is JJ's Diner, the unofficial meeting place of Pawnee's political elite.
在这吃饭的人基本上掌握这个镇
The people who eat here basically run this town.
所以 我想听听你对
So, listen, I was hoping maybe I could pick your brain
和媒体打交道的意见 这是我第一次接受采访
about how to deal with the media. It's my first interview.
去年那个中学生报纸的事情算什么呢
What about that thing you did for the middle school newspaper last year?
哦 那个不算 那个是诽谤
Oh. No. I don't count that. That was a smear job.
我整理了一些讨论话题 能跟你过一下吗
So I put together some discussion topics. Can I run them by you?
好
Okay.
你觉得她开场白会说什么
What do you think her opening gambit is gonna be?
她会先问我什么
What is she gonna ask me first?
怎么拼你的姓
How you spell your name.
当然
Of course.
那个不发音的K
Because of the silent "K."
你太聪明了 - 是
You're so smart. - Yeah.
好 我该带她逛一圈政♥府♥大楼吗
Okay, now should I give her a tour of the building...
你准备了多少个讨论话题啊
How many discussion questions do you have there?
呃 30个
Um... Thirty.
哇
Wow!
你疯了
You're insane.
你才疯了
You're insane.
Mark跟我上过一次床 感觉非常激烈
Mark and I made love once. And it was very intense.
你好 我想找Leslie Knope
Hi, I'm looking for Leslie Knope.
好 - 哦
Okay. - Oh!
我听到了召唤 你好 - 你好
My ears are ringing. Hi. - Hi.
我是Leslie Knope - 你好
I'm Leslie Knope. - Hi.
我是公园与娱乐部门的副主任
I'm the deputy director of Parks and Recreation.
Shauna - Malwae-Tweep.
Shauna. - Malwae-Tweep.
是的 我很熟悉你的作品
Yes, I am familiar with your work.
我读过你写的每一篇报道
I've read everything you've ever written.
你做过一篇关于Pawnee浣熊问题的深度文章
You did an amazing in-depth article on the raccoon problem here in Pawnee.
谁把门打开的 不 不 不 (恶搞who let the dogs out歌♥词)
Who left the door open? No! No! No!
我同意你的观点 他们是自然界的土匪
And I agree with you. They are nature's bandits.
感谢 我很喜欢那一句
Thanks. I was happy with that line.
所以 采访前带你快速参观一下这里吧
So, can I give you a quick tour before we get started?
我之前来过 好几次
I've been here before. A few times.
快速参观 - 行
Quick tour? - Okay.
这条走廊有10幅壁画
So there are 10 murals here in this hallway.
这幅叫做"Wamapoke酋长的审判"
And this is called "The trial of Chief Wamapo."
作画于1936年 当时
It was painted in 1936 and this is Chief Wamapo
Wamapoke酋长被控对士兵犯有罪行
and he was convicted of crimes against the soldiers.
我一直惊讶于他沉默的尊严
I am always amazed at his quiet dignity
最后他被炮弹炸死了
right before he's killed by a cannonball.
很惊讶没人投诉过这些
I'm surprised no one's complained about this.
哦 无数人投诉过
Oh, tons of people have.
是的 我们每天都收到投诉
Yeah, we get letters every day.
这位是Ron Swanson 我的上司
This is Ron Swanson, our boss.
Ron 这就是我跟你说过的那个记者
Ron, this is the reporter I was telling you about.
无可奉告
No comment.
什么
About what?
嘿 Haverford
Hey, Haverford,
可能有一天你能知道怎么拼三个字母的单词
maybe one day you'll figure out how to spell a three-letter word.
别逗了 Ron
Come on, Ron.
我跟我老板Ron Swanson经常玩品字游戏
I play a lot of online Scrabble with my boss, Ron Swanson,
我 的 天 啊
and, oh, my God,
他玩得超级好
that guy is the best.
他每次都打败我 简直是虐杀 太厉害了
He beats me every time. He kills me. He's awesome.
我打不赢他 我应该注销账号♥
I can't beat him. I should just close my account.
Shauna 这就是我们的小团体
Well, Shauna, this is our crack team.
大家好
Hi, everyone.
Tom Haverford 天才男孩 牛奶巧克力一般丝滑
Tom Haverford, boy genius. Smooth like milk chocolate.
这么形容我挺怪的
That's a weird way to describe me.
April Ludgate 19岁
April Ludgate, 19.
酷到哪都能去但还是选择了这里
Cool enough to be invited anywhere and chooses to be here.
最后介绍 Ann Perkins 和 Andy Dwyer
And finally, we've got Ann Perkins and Andy Dwyer.
故事里真正的英雄
They're the real heroes of this story.