一夜寻情记（2014）

Mixology S01E12

Part 3 April 26, 2021, 11:07 a.m.

How can I compete with that?
那可不是
Tell me about it.
我这辈子只和两个男生上过床
I've only had sex with two guys in my entire life,
他们都是康乃迪克州人
and they have both been from Connecticut.
老天爷康州人的床技可烂了
Oh, my god. And people from Connecticut are terrible at sex!
我知道那是最没性趣的州
I know. It's the least-sexual state.
我的天我死定了
Oh, god. I'm doomed.
我也死定了
I'm doomed, too.
至少我知道
Well... At least I'll know
我不是今晚唯一性♥爱♥上惨败的人
I'm not the only one failing miserably at sex tonight.
是啊我会想到你
Yeah. I'll be thinking of you.
我不会... 希望吧
I-I mean, I won't be...Hopefully.
我知道我们怎么会视而不见
I know. How did we miss this?
完美的一对整晚就在我们眼前
The perfect couple has been right under our noses all night.
什么造就完美的一对
What makes a great couple?
首先他们的外貌等级差别在两分以内
First, they must be within two units of hotness of each other.
她是个6分
She's a 6.
她是个7分
She is a 7.
她是个8分
She is an 8.
你给玛雅的朋友8分吗
You're giving Maya's friend an 8?
人家是12分
She's a 12.
我的评分是最终结果汤姆
My scores are final, Tom.
玛雅的朋友是8分你是6分
Maya's friend is an 8, and you are a 6.
你的评分很可笑
Your scores are ridiculous.
你刚成为了5分
You just became a 5.
我抗♥议♥你的评分制度
I protest your entire scoring system.
现在你是4分
Now you're a 4!
别担心汤姆你还是6分
Don't worry, Tom. You're still a 6.
闭嘴 5.5分
Shut up, 5 and a half.
你是多少
What are you?
我无法用数字来定义
Numbers can't define me.
我是高飞的雄鹰
I'm an eagle.
其次相配的一对需要有相同的价值观
Second, a great couple needs to share the same values.
汤姆是个好人总是施舍有需要的人
Tom is a great guy who always gives to those in need.
莉维是甜心总是帮助有需要的人
Liv is a sweetheart who also helps those in need.
妈呀她给了他80块钱
Holy crap. She's giving him like 80 bucks.
最后相配的一对要有相同的兴趣
And finally, a great couple should have similar interests.
不是真的我在《动物星球》上看到的
No, it's true. I saw it on animal planet.
它们有小小的鹿角圆溜溜的大眼
They have tiny antlers and big, round eyes.
它们叫小羚羊欢快地奔腾在非洲大地上
They're called dik-diks, and they prance around africa,
将快乐带给所有其它的动物
spreading joy to all the other animals.
就好像斑比的真实版
It's like if Bambi was real.
不是妈妈刚被杀了的斑比
Except not mom-just-got-murdered Bambi.
而是早期的快乐斑比
Like, early, fun Bambi.
应该有人驯养这种动物
Someone should domesticate these animals.
我会买♥♥一只
Because I would buy one
让它在我的公♥寓♥里跑
and let it run all around my apartment.
事实上我会买♥♥两只
Actually, I would buy two...
这样第一只就有了朋友
So the first one could have a friend.
小羚羊
Dik-diks!
我想我要过去努力搞定玛雅了
Well, I, uh...I guess I'll go try and close with Maya now.
是的当然了
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Of course.
你需要帮忙吗
Hey, do you want some help?
真的吗当然要
Really? Yes.
好的有意思
Okay. All right. Fun.
我做你的泡妞搭档
I'll be, like, your wingman.
你知道怎么做吗
Do you know how to do that?
完全不知道
Not even a little.
好吧干杯
Okay. Well, cheers.
我会试一下
I'll give it a whirl.
我刚认识汤姆时我觉得他像是
Yeah, when I first met Tom, I thought he was, like,
穿着灯芯绒外套的小女生
this little girl in a corduroy jacket.
然后我开始看到内在的真男人
But then I started to see a real man underneath.
但现在他在莉维身边怪怪的
But now he's acting weird with Liv,
现在看来一个人回家是不错的选择
so going home alone is looking really good right now.
我也这样觉得
Yeah, same here.
我刚认识莉维时我们之间的感觉太奇妙了
Like, when I first met Liv, we had this amazing chemistry.
-是的 -现在她好像怕我了
- Yeah. - Now it's almost like she's scared of me or something.
不她喜欢你
No. She likes you.
她一直在谈论你
She talks about you nonstop --
她通常很不喜欢英式口音的
Usually in a deeply offensive british accent.
谢谢
Well, thank you.
说实话汤姆看起来是个不错的人
And, truth be told, Tom seems like a wonderful guy.
是的
Yeah.
醉酒直升机呼叫基地
Drink-copter to base.
醉酒直升机呼叫基地准备喝醉
Drink-copter to base. Prepare to be drunk.
完毕
Over.
太棒了
That's so great.
我们回来时一直在练习
We were practicing the whole way back.
-抱歉太大声了 -好好笑
- Sorry it got too loud. - That was so funny.
好啊我很愿意去你家看电影
Yeah. I would love to come home and watch a movie.
你想看什么
What are you feeling?
不知道《纽约黑帮》
I don't know -- "Gangs of new york,"
《血色将至》《林肯》[全是丹尼尔主演的]
"There will be blood," "Lincoln."
我最爱的三部电影
Like, three of my favorite movies.
我们走吧
Let's get out of here.
稍等下
Hold on.
你想一起走吗
Hey. You want to get out of here?
搞什么
Oh, what the --
希望能让你好受些
Hey, man, if it's any consolation,
我从来就不喜欢丹尼尔·戴刘易斯
I never liked Daniel Day-Lewis.
我快没时间了
Yeah, well, I'm running out of time,
也快没女生可选了卡尔
and I'm running out of girls, Cal.
还有火人
There's still burning man.
恶心
Ew!
她好脏不是性感的肮脏
She is dirty. And not like sexy dirty.
而是我能看到她脸上泥巴的脏
Like I can see the dirt on her face.
看来只能先给她洗洗了
I guess I'll just have to wash her first.
我说是奶奶我会为邦尼特跳舞
I said "Yes, grandma. I will dance for my Bonnet."
你真是把你奶奶描述得惟妙惟肖
You paint such a vivid portrait of your grandmother.
我真希望在她自杀前认识她
I wish I could have met her before she killed herself.
汤姆是不是好搞笑
Isn't Tom hilarious?
是的他就是玛格丽特·周[韩裔喜剧女演员]
Yep. He's a regular Margaret Cho.
我的天谢谢
Oh, my god. Thank you.
怎么啦
What?
今晚夜色真漂亮
You know, it's a -- it's a really beautiful night out.
有人有兴趣去走走吗
Is anybody interested in going for a walk?
是的
Yes!
玛雅喜欢散步
Maya loves walking.
玛雅和他去走走
Maya, walk with him.
抱歉我住在布鲁克林
Sorry. I live in Brooklyn.
我最爱的夜间漫步就是走布鲁克林大桥
Actually, my favorite night walk is across the brooklyn bridge.
我很喜欢读那些
I-I really love reading all the...
-爱锁上的文字 -爱锁上的文字
- Love locks. - Love locks?
是的是不是好不可思议
Yes. Aren't they amazing?
请告诉我爱锁是什么
Please tell me -- what are love locks?
情侣们把挂锁锁在大桥上上面写上名字
Couples bolt padlocks onto the bridge with their names on it,
然后把钥匙扔进河里
and then they throw the key into the river
象征他们永不分离
to signify their everlasting bond.
好感人
It's really beautiful.
其实是乱扔垃圾
It's also really littering.
听起来很浪费锁
Sounds like a big waste of locks.
我的父母在1974年
My parents...Put a love lock
在布鲁克林大桥上挂上了爱锁
on the brooklyn bridge in 1974,
他们每年结婚纪念日都会回去
and they go back every year on their anniversary,
这真是最浪漫的事
and it's the most romantic thing ever.
但你们应该去
But you guys should totally go.
你们去
You go.
没事
It's okay.
很好虽然我也很想继续聊锁
Great. Well, as much as I'd love to keep talking about locks,
我想我还是去买♥♥单走人吧