一夜寻情记（2014）
Mixology
第一季
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一夜寻情记（2014）
Mixology S01E12
Part 1
April 26, 2021, 11:07 a.m.
一夜寻情记 第一季第十二集
这是一个关于十个陌生人的故事
This is the story of 10 strangers,
一个夜晚 我们所做的
one night, and all the stupid,
愚蠢丢人的荒唐事
embarrassing, ridiculous things we do...
只为寻找爱
...To find love.
我看到你和玛雅在一起
So, I saw you with Maya, and...
我得说 有那么一小会儿
I got to say that for one tiny second,
你的吸引力增加了1%
you were 1% more attractive.
我的起点是多少
What did I start at?
1%
Uh...1%.
真的吗
Really?
就是说增加了100%
That means I'm up 100%.
你这么想要我真是令人难堪
God, it's embarrassing how much you want me.
我们现在叫计程车好吗
Should we just get a cab now?
现在甚至没到打烊前最后一轮
It's not even last call, dude.
最后一轮 点酒最后一轮
Last call! Last call for alcohol!
最后一轮
你为什么对那根丑胡萝卜这么好
Why are you being so nice to the ugly carrot?
拜托 他也没那么差
Oh, come on. He's not so bad.
是啊 他真是个如意郎君
Oh, yeah. He's such a catch.
他这是干嘛呀
What is he doing?
实在是如意郎君
A real catch.
我刚和玛雅聊海豚聊得开心死了
Hey. Oh, I just had the best talk with Maya about dolphins.
你回来这里做什么
What are you doing back here?
我设局让你搞定她 兄弟
I just set you up to close her, dude.
我和她调情 我让你冲我脸揍一拳
I flirted with her. I got you to punch me in the face.
我把这个美女送到了你怀里
I served you her ass on a silver platter.
那一切都是假的吗
T-that was all fake?
是的
Yes!
我练过空手道的
With all my karate training,
你真觉得你能揍我吗
do you really think you could land a punch on me?
什么呀
What?
我的天 这样一切都变了
Oh, my god. This changes everything.
我以为玛雅真的喜欢我
I thought Maya was actually into me.
她的确喜欢 布鲁斯只是推了一把
She is. Bruce just... Accelerated things a bit.
-但这一切都是谎言 -那又怎样
- But it's all a lie. - So what?
如果这是你今晚为了上♥床♥说的大谎话
If that's the biggest lie you told tonight to get laid,
那就没事
you're fine.
有一次 我告诉一个女生蛇咬了我的老二
One time, I told a girl that a snake bit my penis.
但不幸地是 这谎话让我引火烧身
But unfortunately, that backfired right in my face.
她冲我老二上泼了热水
She threw hot water right on my ween,
显然这是鲜为人知的治疗蛇咬的办法
which apparently is some less-well-known remedy for snakebites.
重点是 汤米
The point is, Tommy,
为了上♥床♥ 大家都会说点小谎
everyone lies a little to get laid.
我能感觉到 自信正在离开我的身体
I can just feel the -- the confidence leaving my body.
我的手在出汗
My hands are sweating.
看不到了 看不到了
I can't see. I can't see.
兄弟
Now -- hey, bubba.
兄弟 你不会有事的
Bubba, you're gonna be fine.
你的确想和她上♥床♥对吗
You do want to have sex with her, right?
是的 我好想好想和她上♥床♥
Yes. Ohh, I want to have sex with her very much.
那你就脱掉衣服 让她成为你的人
Then take off your dress and go make her yours!
好的
Okay.
我要走过去告诉玛雅
I'm gonna march over there and tell Maya,
我要和你上♥床♥
"I want to have sex with you."
-不行 -不 兄弟 你这是自杀
- No! - No, dude! That's suicide!
听着 汤姆
Listen, Tom...
最终搞定是门艺术
Closing is an art.
如果你直接要一个女生跟你回家
If you just ask a girl to go home with you,
99%的女生都不会同意
99 out of 100 will say no.
那1%同意的
Yeah, and the one who says yes
只是为了去你家偷东西
just wants to burgle your home.
好吧 那我应该如何最后搞定
O-okay. H-h-how do I close?
我的天
Oh, my god.
好复杂的问题 兄弟
That is a big question, dude.
-用心听清楚 -对
- Pay close attention. - Yeah.
好好用心听清楚
Very close attention.
最后搞定要这样
This is how you close.
在打烊前 两位女士还需要什么吗
So, can I get you ladies anything before closing?
是的 我想来点甜蜜的
Um, yes. I would like something sweet.
-你有何推荐 -海滩上的性♥爱♥
- What do you recommend? - Well, sex on the beach.
明白了吗 因为他想和你在海滩上做♥爱♥
Get it? 'cause he wants to have sex with you on a beach.
不 这酒味道不错
No, no. I just love the taste.
我以前每天在我妈妈下班后
I used to make one for my mom every day
-就为她调一杯 -好诡异
- when she came home from work. - Weird.
我以前也每晚为我爸调鸡尾酒
Yeah. I used to make a cocktail for my dad every night, too.
很有趣是吧 现在每次
It's funny, right -- now every time
我为别人调鸡尾酒 我就会想起我妈
I make a cocktail for somebody, I think about my mom.
这么说 你一直在想着你妈
So, basically, you're thinking about your mom all the time.
对 她是个了不起的女人
Yeah. She's an amazing woman.
你好孝顺哦
That is so sweet.
你今晚愿意和我一起搭计程车吗
Listen, you want to share a cab home with me tonight?
愿意
Yes.
她住在新泽西
She lives in New Jersey.
我爱新泽西
Oh, well, I love New Jersey.
我爱那些群山
Yeah, I love the mountains.
最终搞定规则第一条 所有女生都愿意相信
The first rule of closing is that all girls want to believe
性♥爱♥的发生是不由自主地 浪漫充满魔力的
that sex happens spontaneously, in a romantic, magical way.
对 不是某个穿军服的怪人
Yeah, not like it was planned for hours
计划了几个小时的结果
by some weirdo in an army jacket.
所以首先 你需要将你的女人与闺蜜们分开
So, first, you need to separate your girl from the herd.
她在好友的注视下
She is never gonna make bad choices
永远不会做出坏的选择
with all of her friends watching.
然后你给她一些
Yeah, then you got to give her
与性♥爱♥无关的借口与你回家
some non-sexual excuse to go home with you
-这样她不会感觉自己很放荡 -什么借口
- so she doesn't feel like a ho. - Like what?
-要她一起看《超级名模》 -邀请她看《超级名模》
- Ask her to watch "Zoolander." - Invite her to watch "Zoolander."
是吗 《超级名模》
Really? "Zoolander"?
我也不知道为什么 但女人都喜欢这部电影
Yeah. I don't know why, but 100% of women love that movie.
没错 兄弟 你令她跟你一起回家
That's right, dude -- you get her back to the place,
放上《超级名模》 她会说"好好笑哦"
you pop in "Zoolander," "This is so funny."
滋 砰
Zip, thud.
我的天
"Oh, my god."
好吧 我想我可以做到
Okay. I-I can do this, I think.
那个"砰" 是小弟蹦出来
The thud -- t-that was, like, your penis coming out
碰到物体表面上还是...
and hitting a solid surface, or...?
对 就是这个音效
Yeah. That's the sound it makes.
好的
Okay.
我这就去了结和玛雅上♥床♥这事
I'm gonna go close sex with Maya.
-好的 上吧 兄弟 -是的 兄弟
- All right! Go get 'em, bubba! - Oh, yeah, buddy!
了结上♥床♥这事
"Close sex."
-我帮他叫计程车 -好的
- Yeah, I'm gonna call him a cab. - Yeah.
不 我最喜欢的脱衣舞男是那个角斗士
No. My favorite stripper was the gladiator,
马克西姆斯·汉格斯
Maximus Hungus.
女性真的会这样性幻想吗
Yeah. Is that really a female fantasy, then --
和一个战斗的奴隶上♥床♥
Sleeping with a fighting slave?
绝对的
Totally.
男人最性感就是拿着三叉戟披着网
What is hotter than a guy with a trident and a net?
太好了 因为我穿系带凉鞋后
Good, because my legs look phenomenal
腿显得可漂亮了
in strappy sandals.
我相信
I bet.
你想换地方 去我家看看吗
Would you like to adjourn back to my place to see it?
你的...
Uh...Your --
真有意思
That's interesting.
我会... 你有家 这真是...
I would -- you have a house. And that --
是玛雅 我的天 是玛雅
Uh, Maya! Oh, my god! It's Maya!
玛雅 过来和我们坐
Maya! Come! Sit with us!
刚刚发生了好棒的事
The greatest thing just happened.
罗恩邀请我去他家
Ron just invited me to his place.
是不是好棒
Isn't that wonderful?
你为什么要告诉她
一夜寻情记（2014）
Mixology
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