麦百万

祈祷一会儿 吃点馅饼
I mean, a little prayer, a little pasties...
对吧
Right?
所有关于小绒兔现在的老板
All the publicity that has come out of this situation
杰瑞·科洛博的报道
with Fuzzy Bunny's has earned owner, Jerry Colombo,
来自《国家询问报》
notice from "The National Enquirer,"
和有线频道"喜剧中心"
Comedy Central, the cable channel,
这周五 他将会在
and this Friday, he has a scheduled guest appearance
大卫·莱特曼秀上客串
on the David Letterman show.
你觉得杰罗姆·雅各布森会生气于
你的杰瑞所获得的人气吗
会的
Oh, yeah. Yes.
杰瑞·科洛博赢得了一辆道奇蝰蛇
Jerry Colombo won a Dodge Viper.
杰瑞·科洛博 杰瑞·科洛博
Jerry Colombo... Jerry Colombo...
杰瑞·科洛博
Jerry Colombo...
杰瑞·科洛博 杰瑞·科洛博
Jerry Colombo... Jerry Colombo...
这是我收到的第一封祝贺信
This is my first letter of congratulation.
他们来信恭喜我获得了100万美元奖金
They're congratulating me for being a $1 million winner
并向我解释说
and explaining to me that
我会在未来的20年中 每年收到5万块
I'll be getting $50,000 for, um, the next 20 years.
支票以邮件的形式寄到了我的假地址那里
The check came in the mail, which-- that went to my fake address.
杰瑞给我拿过来的
And Jerry brought it to me,
我告诉他我要把支票里的钱取出来
and I told him I'll deposit the check,
他就问 "你没取出现金来吗"
and then he said, "You didn't get any cash off of it?"
我说 "没有 他们要把钱暂时扣留审查"
I'm like, "No, they gotta put a hold on it."
那个时候 我的银行账户上没什么钱
During that time, my bank account was always low,
我只能再回去 坚持要把钱取出来
so I had to go back to the bank and insist on getting something.
所以我取出来了2000美金 并给了他
So I got $2,000 and I gave it to him.
审查通过后
When it did clear,
他让我把剩下的钱取出来 凑到两万五
he was calling me to add to the 2,000 and make it 25.
所以我把钱取了出来 给了他
So I just took the money and gave it to him.
什么问题也没问
Didn't ask any questions.
他拿走了我的全部
what I had, he took and, um,
在开始的五年里 我得给他们...
for the first five years, I had to give them...
给了杰瑞·科洛博25000美金
give Jerry Colombo $25,000.
对我来说一切都没变
Nothing changed for me.
我的生活过得也不像有钱人
Now, I never acted like I had money.
因为我陷入了一个更深的坑
'Cause I was in a deeper hole than I was before I did it.
我也增加了我的月供
Took my mortgage up higher, of course.
我之前每月还300多
I went from paying 300 and something a month
现在每月还1000
to $1,000,
我的压力小了许多
so I was just like-- "Phew!"
那时我才意识到税务问题
That's when I found out about the taxes.
杰瑞·科洛博每次都能拿到税前25000美金
Jerry Colombo got $25,000 each time before taxes.
总金额 50000
税后 35000
杰瑞 25000
我没去买♥♥任何东西
I didn't go out and buy anything.
我什么都买♥♥不了
I couldn't buy anything.
我压力太大了
I was so stressed.
杰瑞·科洛博什么事都要和他的老大商量
Well, Jerry Colombo always had to consult with the head man.
"我打电♥话♥问问杰瑞叔叔"
"Let me call Uncle Jerry."
所有事都要向杰瑞叔叔汇报
Uncle Jerry is being reported to about everything.
那段时间 我觉得杰瑞叔叔
During that time, I felt like Uncle Jerry
就像是黑帮老大
was the main mob man.
尽情享用美国最受欢迎的薯条
玩美国人最喜欢的桌游
在中奖的第一年里 麦当劳想让我
Within that first year, McDonald's wanted me to do
帮他们做宣传
all this publicity.
但我做不了
But I just couldn't get into it.
杰瑞·科洛博的说法是 "他们想让你做广♥告♥
Jerry Colombo's thing was, "They want you to advertise
萨凡纳早间新闻
失业单身母亲在希尔顿黑德岛赢得麦当劳大奖
因为你是第一位黑人中奖者
Because you are the first black,
而你还是女性
And you're female.
你还中了100万美金大奖"
And you got the $1 million."
我对自己说 "是这样 但是
And I'm saying to myself, "Yeah, but...
我不想一遍又一遍地
I don't wanna keep talking to people and
跟别人讲这个编出来的故事
telling people this story over and over and over and over and over."
但他说我们必须这么做
But he said that we had to do this.
我们住在四季酒店
We stayed in the Four Seasons.
我想那是我第一次
I think that was the first time I ever had
可以随心所欲地点菜单上的东西
the opportunity to just order what I want off the menu
而不用担心账单
and not worry about a tab.
我到这里之后 那女孩很久之后才走出来
Then I came in here and the girl took so long to come out
我想 "这肯定是真的"
and I said, "This must be real."
我刚刚才安顿下来
So, you know, it's just-- it's just all beginning to set in.
我不知道该如何描述
Just-- I just don't know how to describe it.
无法用语言形容
It's undescribable.
这件事最棒的点在于
The best part about it, the whole thing,
美国著名演员
我有机会见到了谢尔曼·汉姆斯利is that I got a chance to meet Sherman Hemsley.
营销公♥司♥举办了一场盛大的庆祝仪式
The marketing company, they had a big celebration.
就像是一种促销活动
It was something like a promotion type thing
杰瑞·科洛博说
and Jerry Colombo said,
"杰瑞叔叔也会以观众的身份来到现场"
"Uncle Jerry's gonna be in the audience."
我想 "老天啊"
And I'm like, "God..."
然后
So...
他们让我拿着一个巨型支票
they had this big check for me to hold
给我拍照 然后他们说 "说点什么"
and take a picture and then they say, "Speak!"
我想
I'm like...
又来了
Here I go.
又得撒谎了
More lies.
我有点出神了
I was kind of out of it.
我能听到拍照的声音
I could hear the cameras going.
我一直在想那个黑帮老大就在观众之中
The whole time I'm thinking about this mob man in the audience.
从没见过他的照片
Never seen a picture of him,
虽然不知道在找谁
didn't know who I was looking for,
但我一直在找哪个人可能是他
but I kept looking to see which one it could be.
在那之后 我最后告诉他
After that, I finally just told him,
"我不想再做别的事了
"I don't want to do anything else.
不要让我再做任何事了"
Don't-- don't put me out to do anything else."
杰瑞·科洛博说 "杰瑞叔叔就在人群中
Jerry Colombo said, "Uncle Jerry was in the crowd.
他说你很棒"
He said you did great."
他就是用这样的小事
It just was little things like that, that made sure,
来确保我保持警觉
I guess, I stayed on my toes
来确保我做了我该做的 并且顺利完成
and did what I needed to do and do it proper.
我一直都在他们的控制网中
So I was still under that web the whole time.
我不知道该去向何处 不知道该做什么
I didn't know where to turn. I didn't know what to do.
完全不可能逃脱出去
There's just really no way out of it.
我问我自己 "接下来怎么办"
And I said to myself, "Now what's next?"
费城宾夕法尼亚州
我一拿到那张支票 情况就变了
As soon as I got that check, things changed.
我在他车上 我们一起去了那家银行
I'm in his car, and we're going to this bank.
我们要用支票取出现金
We needed to get the check cashed right there.
所有的钱直接被杰瑞拿走了
And all the money went right to Jerry's hands.
出纳员告诉我 "请您收好
The teller said to me, he said, "Get that money.
要交五万的税
It's $50,000 taxes on that.
李·卡萨诺十万美金"得奖者"
别忘了交"
Make sure you get that."
但我当时没想这个
But I didn't think anything of it.
整个人都麻木了
It just kind of-- you go numb, you know,
脑袋不转了
there's just no thought.
我当时看着那笔钱
And that's kind of how I felt, I think,
就是那种感觉 因为它不属于我
with that money, 'cause it's not mine.
他说他要先去找杰瑞叔叔
He said that he had to go to Uncle Jerry first,
把他的那份给他
give him his piece of pie
然后每个人都要分一杯羹
and then everybody gets a piece of pie
必须得照这样分下来
and it has to go, you know,
最后我才能拿到我那份
in that order before I can get my money.
我不停地给他打电♥话♥
So I-- I kept calling him and calling him and he would like
他回电♥话♥说 "我会给你钱的
call me back and say, "I'm gonna get the money for you,
钱在我手上
I got the money on me,
再过一周就给你" 诸如此类
it's gonna be like another week," Or whatever,
反正一直敷衍我
he just kept putting me off.
我能听出他的声音中的异样了 就像在说
I heard the difference in his voice, like, like--
"别烦我 我会把钱给你"
like, "Don't bug me. You're gonna get your money."
我认为