死亡谷（2011）

Death Valley S01E06

Part 1 Nov. 25, 2020, 12:07 p.m.

Hey, Stuby-Doo. Tell me the truth, buddy.
嘿笨司徒告诉我实话吧
You still hurt from that *** last Friday?
上周五那事你是不是还很受伤?
Huh. I'm alright.
恩我好了
I still got some blood in my urine.
但我还是小便带血
Yeah. I once had blood in my semen.
恩有一次我精♥液♥带血
Looked like a candy. Ugh.
看起来像颗糖啊
Don't tell me that. Well, we're on the topic.
别说了哦我们已经在说了
Don't compare your semen to a Christmas candy.
别把你的精♥液♥和圣诞糖果放一起
It's funny you say that,
真有意思
cause it was around the holidays, too.
差不多就放假了呀
Oh, stop it! Hey, what's this guy doing?
哦别说了! 他在干嘛?
Looks like we got something over here.
这里好像有点东西
Well, well, well, what do we got here?
哦哦哦这是什么啊?
Ugh!
呃!
Looks like it's hot enough to fry a leg on the sidewalk.
哇这人行道热得都能煮腿了
Right? I mean, not an egg but a leg.
不是煮鸡蛋是煮腿
We get it. What do you guys know, anyway?
知道了知道些什么呀
How's it going today, sir?
先生你还好吗?
Ahh.
啊
Hey, buddy.
嘿老兄
Oh! Ho-ho-ho!
哦! 吼吼吼!
Oh! Oh!
哦! 哦!
This zombie smells like balls!
这僵尸臭死了
Ugh. Wow!
啊喔!
Why do you smell like balls?
你怎么这么臭
That's probably not a great idea.
这样不好
Why?
为什么?
'Cause you never know if, uh--
因为你永远不会知道如果
Hey, you got a permit to be here?
嘿谁允许你赖这儿了?
Well, now we know. Now we know.
好吧现在知道了现在知道了
One year ago...
一年之前
Vampire, werewolves, and zombies...
吸血鬼狼人还有僵尸
Descended upon California's San Fernando valley.
降临加利福尼亚州圣费尔南多谷
Authorities remain baffled by their origins.
当局对此毫无头绪
Is there a lack of energy out here,
你们是不是都没力气了
or is it just my imagination?
还是我眼花了?
Captain, when are we gonna get the A.C. fixed?
老大空调什么时候能修好?
I will answer that question with a question.
我会用问题来回答你的问题
Would you rather have air-conditioning
你是想要空调凉快呢
or the streets free of crime?
还是想要天下太平?
How are those even the two choices?
这两个算是选项吗?
I will ignore that question with a story.
不废话告诉你们个事情
As many of you may recall, last week,
你们可能还记得上周
John-John played whack-a-mole
约翰-约翰和一个老年人
with a senior citizen.
玩过打地鼠
As a result, we are under temporary oversight
结果现在我们被内务调查部
by Internal Affairs.
盯上了
And just because Deputy Chief Ribbings
副科长瑞宾斯
comes to us with very little real-world experience
也许对我们的事还不了解
and a total lack of understanding
而且也有可能经验不足
of what we actually do here on a daily basis
但是我们不能因此
is no reason to treat him with disrespect.
就对他不敬
Deputy chief Ribbings.
副科长瑞宾斯
Okay.
好的
Officer Johnson's recent mishap
约翰逊长官最近的事情
has resulted in new protocols
导致了新拟定草案的出♥台♥
that are to be followed by all UTF personnel.
Utf所有成员都要遵守
When it comes to proper protocol,
适当的草案出♥台♥以后
killing zombies is really no different
射杀一个僵尸就和射杀一个市民
than killing any other citizen.
没什么两样了
I believe officer Johnson already proved that, sir.
我想约翰逊应该已经证明过了
Right, John-John?
约翰-约翰是不是?
Huh?
恩?
Up top. All right.
竖起来啦好吧
These cards will guide you when encountering
当你们碰到丧尸嫌疑人
a potential undead suspect, or...
或者有脓包的人时
Pus.
这些卡片会给你们指南
They will help you to interrogate the pus,
帮助你们根据脓包
determine if he or she is indeed undead,
判断要不要解决他/她
confirm that determination,
确认所做的决定
and then proceed to dispatch him.
然后再行动
"Excuse me, I'm a police officer,
"打扰一下我是警♥察♥
"and I have cause to believe
"我现在怀疑你携带了
you may have contracted the zombie virus."
僵尸病毒"
Well, that's moronic.
好傻帽啊
I'll get myself killed if I do that.
要我说这个还不如让我去死
And these on-ear look-see video cameras you'll be wearing,
看到我耳朵上的这个视听器吗你们也要带的
which are also neatly placed on your desks,
都放在你们桌上呢
will allow us to see how you got killed
我们会通过这个看到你们怎么死的
and how we can prevent similar deaths in the future.
从而避免类似事故再次出现
Any questions?
有问题吗?
Okay, people, I don't like having
好了各位我可不想
Deputy Chief Ribbings here any more than you do.
麻烦副科长瑞宾斯这么久
But Johnson, Rinaldi,
但约翰逊瑞纳尔第
since you're the ones that took a dookie in this particular bed,
既然上次的篓子是你捅出来的
you'll be the ones to cart this gentleman around for the day.
那今天你就由你来开车
The rest of you stay hydrated,
其他人补足水分
it is 112 degrees in the shade.
外头荫凉处都有44°
If I hear about one of you dying,
如果让我听到你们谁倒下了
it damn well better be from a zombie, vampire, or werewolf
宁愿是被僵尸吸血鬼或者狼人给弄死
and not sunstroke.
也别给我中暑倒下
Is that understood?
明白了没?
Uh, captain? SPF 50, Stubeck.
恩长官防晒指数50 斯塔贝克
You're not getting a sunburn today,
你今天不会晒伤了
not on my watch.
别的我管不了
Anyway, let's get out there and kill something!
好了出去杀杀吧
Billy. Billy.
比利. 比利.
You sure the A.C.'s working? Yes, the A.C. is working.
你确定空调开着吗? 是的开着
We just got in the car, give it a few minutes.
我们刚进来而已等几分钟
Whatever. I'm not waiting.
随他的便吧我等不了
Ahh! Stop it.
哦别脱
Put that back on!
把衣服穿好
Why? Department policy.
怎么了警规的规定
Yeah? And my policy is to take my shirt off
是吗我的警规是当天气
when it's hot as balls out.
热得蛋疼就得脱掉外套
Why are you always comparing things to balls?
为什么你什么都拿蛋来当喻体
'Cause balls are hot, and they smell bad.
因为蛋热乎味道也不好闻
Anyway, today it's all wife-beater all the time.
总之今天是都是虐打妻子的琐事
Don't call them that. I have a wife whom I respect.
不要这么称呼他们我对老婆就很尊敬
What do call them, then? White, ribbed tank tops.
那要怎么称呼白背心
That's what they're called.
他们都是这么称呼的
Read the package. Read my package.
看看相关材料吧看我写的材料
No, I can't read your package. There's no letters on it.
不我不看你写的材料上面连一个字都没有
You know what, man?
知道吗兄弟
It's gross outside today, all right?
今天热得糟糕透了对吧
Can you at least try and have some fun?
你就不能试着有丁点幽默感
Can we please just have some fun today?
咱们今天不能有点乐趣吗
I'm nothing but fun.
我很有幽默感啊
Check this out.
看着吧
How are people even gonna know you're on the job
你不♥穿♥你的制♥服♥ 别人怎么知道
without your uniform on?
你是警♥察♥ 在出任务
That's how. Ooh. That's pretty sweet.
看这个就知道哦弄得很漂亮
Right there. Where'd you get it?
这儿你在哪儿纹的
Got it at some place in Van Nuys.
在范奈司的某个店弄的
You know, with every tattoo,
你们知道吗每纹一个纹身
they were giving away a free genital piercing ?
他们可以免费给小♥弟♥弟♥打一次孔
What?
什么
I didn't even want a genital piercing,
我根本不想给小♥弟♥弟♥打孔
but at those prices, I'm not gonna say no.
可是那个价格我拒绝不了
Oh!
哦