差不多得了（2020）

你为什么把箱子放这么高
Why'd you put our box of stuff so high up?
你要找什么照片值得这么大费周章
What photo could possibly be worth this?
是他们在乐高乐园过山车上拍的
It's the one they took on the Legoland roller coaster
我的刘海超赞
where I'm rocking amazing bangs.
我要把它发到怀旧周四超话上去
I have to post it for Throwback Thursday.
伯温酒吧
Oh, the Brewins bar.
我们初次见面的那晚
Yeah, from the night we first met.
当时我觉得你超性感
I thought you were so hot.
你和我打招呼时 我看到了烟花
When you said hi, I saw fireworks.
我们快点回忆吧
Let's reminisce a little faster!
什么鬼 离婚协议
What the hell?! Our divorce papers?!
你说你一年前就签了
You said you signed these over a year ago!
我肯定是忘记了
I must have gotten distracted!
你知道现在人们都沉迷电视
You know we're in a golden age of TV.
所以我们还是夫妻
So we're still married?
你得放开我 签了这个协议
You need to let go and sign these!
不
No!
不
No!
差不多得了
第二季 第六集
难以置信 你竟然没签离婚协议
I can't believe you never signed your divorce papers.
这里还有标签
It's got these cool stickers
告诉你在哪里签
that tell you where to do it and everything!
我一直希望能修复这段关系
I always had this hope that I could fix the relationship.
是时候借酒消愁了
I guess it's time to destroy that hope with alcohol.
老兄 这是大学时我们自己酿的烈酒吗
Dude, is that that moonshine we made in college?
是的 我刚才在车♥库♥里找到的
Yeah, I just found it in the garage.
还有我们从中得到配方的蓝调唱片
Plus the blues record we got the recipe from.
《时间之酒》
我可以追溯到某一天 乔什
I could trace it back to one day, Josh.
一天晚上我给自己做了个三明治
One night I made myself this sando.
然后离开了一会
Stepped away for one second.
再回去时 布里奇特已经把三明治吃完了
When I came back, Bridgette had scarfed the whole thing.
我们大吵了一架 我说希望我们没见过
We got in a huge fight, and I said I wish we never met.
第二天她就提出了离婚
The next day, she asked me for a divorce.
如果我能穿越回去阻止那次吵架
If I could just go back and stop that fight...
敬三明治
To the sandwich!
这酒味道很不错啊
You know what? Tastes pretty good.
刚刚到底发生了什么
What the hell just happened?!
你的房♥间看起来好像不太一样
Does your room seem different?
1969年7月21号♥
July 21, 1969?
人类登月成功
天啊 我们穿越到三年前了
My God. We've traveled through time...
三年前我超喜欢收集六十年代的东西
to three years ago, when I got into collecting '60s stuff!
等等 时间之酒 是威士忌的作用
Wait, "Time Hooch." The whiskey did this.
想着一段回忆 喝一口威士忌
"Think of a memory and take a shot.
就能回到那段回忆
That's the era you'll be brought."
所以那个威士忌配方其实是用来
So the whiskey recipe is actually a recipe
穿越的
for time travel!
用黑麦大麦和死人的怀表
"Rye, barley, a dead man's pocket watch
在月圆之夜的十字路口酿造
mixed at the crossroads under a full moon."
果然 我们早该猜到的
Okay, yeah, we should have seen this coming.
还记得以前我们把沙发放在那边吗
Remember when we used to keep the couch over there?
太迷幻了
So trippy.
快藏起来
Hide!
天哪 是年轻一点的我们
Holy crap. Slightly younger us's.
我们看起来好蠢
Look how dumb we looked.
拜拜 我要去看凯文·史派西的新电影了
See you guys later. I'm gonna go see the new Kevin Spacey movie.
真不错 他的电影一定精彩
Nice! That guy can do no wrong.
我要给自己做一个大大的老式意大利三明治
I'm gonna go make myself a big old I-talian sando.
今天是三明治大战日
This is the day of the big sando fight!
如果我能阻止这次争吵
If I can prevent that from happening,
我就能挽救我的婚姻了
I can save my marriage.
我离开房♥间的时候
Okay, when I leave the room,
布里奇特进来吃了我的三明治
Bridgette comes in and eats my sando.
然后我们就开吵了
That's when the argument starts.
那我们就把三明治藏起来不让她看到
Then let's hide the sandwich so she doesn't see it,
然后再放回去
then put it back.
老兄 你做的太油了
Dude! You made it super oily.
不然怎么保鲜呢
How else do you lock in the flavor?
藏起来
Hide!
布里奇 我的三明治呢
Bridge, where's my sando?
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
我的三明治 它不见了
My sandwich! It's gone!
亚历克斯 我没碰你的三明治
Alex, I didn't touch your sandwich!
所以它自己从窗户飞出去了
Oh, so I suppose it just flew out the window!
我不知道你怎么了
Look, I don't know what's up with you,
-但你太无理取闹了 -我无理取闹
- but you're being a jerk. - Oh, I'm being a jerk?!
好吧
Okay, well, guess what!
希望我们没
I wish we never --
什么鬼
What the hell?!
我是未来的你
I'm you from the future.
行吧 有个问题只有我自己知道答案
Yeah, right. Here's a question only I would know.
-你是哪一年出生的 -1982年
- What year were you born? - 1982.
我去 你果然是我
Holy shit! You really are me.
身材保持得不错呀
You've been keeping it tight.
亚历克斯 我不想这么说
Alex, I hate to say this,
但你得放下三明治这事
but you gotta let this sando thing go.
这场吵架直接导致了我们的婚姻破裂
This fight leads to the destruction of our marriage.
真的 但我们的婚姻偏离正轨有一段时间了
Really? But we've been off the rails for a while now.
记得我们在坎蒂斯生日派对上的那次争吵吗
Remember that argument we had at Candice's birthday party?
是啊 从那时开始夫妻关系就很紧张了
Oh, yeah. That's when things really got tense.
我们得回到那时候
You know what? We got to go back there.
我们为什么不一开始就回到那时候
Why didn't we just go back there in the first place?
我们吵过很多次架 好吗
We had a lot of fights, okay?
你要和我们一起吗
You wanna come with us?
布里奇特来了 我们得赶快喝
Bridgette's coming! We gotta drink!
吹蜡烛吧 坎蒂斯
Blow 'em out, Candice.
我没法和这帮熊孩子相处
I could not deal with monsters like these.
是啊 为人父母对我们来说可不是什么好事
Yeah, the whole parenting thing would not be a good look for us.
所以你觉得我当不了一个好爸爸
Oh, so you think I'd be a bad father?
不 刚才你自己说的啊
What? No. You just said that.
但你并没有否定
But you're not exactly disagreeing with it!
真受不了你
I can't deal with you.
你受不了我
Oh, you can't deal with me?
事实上
Well, actually --
什么鬼
What the hell?!
我们是未来的你
We're you from the future.
什么 不可能 你们什么时候出生的
What? No way. When were you born?
1982年
1982.
你们就是我
Oh, you are me!
你们身材不错啊
Wow, you both look fit.
听着 你这次吵架
Listen, the fight you were about to have
会直接导致我们的离婚
leads directly to our divorce.
你们确定吗
Are you sure about that?
这次的吵架其实只是
I mean, this fight is really just a continuation
布里奇特姑姑葬礼上那次吵架的延续
of the one from Bridgette's aunt's funeral.
我说她死去的姑姑长得像迈克尔·香农
I said her dead aunt looked like Michael Shannon.
虽说也没错
I mean, I wasn't wrong.
击个掌
Up top!
这些珍贵的时刻太容易忘记了
You just forget these precious moments.
乔什 别再活在过去了
Josh, stop living in the past!
我们得回到三周前
We have to travel back to three weeks ago.
*你撕碎了时空连续体*
*You shredded the space-time continuum*
*现在你该怎么办*
*Now what you gonna do*
*喝一杯*
*Now, take a drink*
*与过去相遇*
*And meet the past*
*但是小心你的脚步 否则你会*
*But watch your step, or you'll*
*引发一系列无休止的后果*
*Unleash an endless series of consequences*
*可能比原来希望解决的问题*
*That may prove to be worse than the original problem*
*更加糟糕*
*You were hoping to solve*
*你知道我的意思*
*You know what I mean*