差不多得了（2020）

妈 我能照顾好自己
Ma! I can take care of myself!
不
No!
不用你"亲亲就不疼"
Do not kiss it better!
我已经长大了
I'm a grown man!
我自己亲
I'll kiss it better!
不疼了
Better.
玩具店逛得怎么样
How was the toy store?
糟透了 坎蒂斯觉得那些都是小孩玩的
A bust. Candice thought everything was for babies.
幸运的是 隔壁的家得宝电器店在做促销
Luckily, Home Depot was having a sale next door.
你给她买♥♥了个鼓风机吗
You bought her a leaf blower?!
你不是总说 她应该多玩一些
You're the one who always says she should be playing
无性别倾向的玩具吗
with non-gendered toys!
特里克宅
看这一头前短后长的飘逸红发
Look at that red-ass Mullet.
你绝对是特里克家的
You must be a Trickle.
快来给我们抱抱
C'mon 'n give us some sugar!
你个小混♥蛋♥ 我的小特里克
You a Trickle, come here you little Trickle!
我不知道该说什么
I don't know what to say.
我们也不知道
Hell, neither do we.
不过咱们先进去吧 边吃边聊
But let's head inside and talk over some fine dinin'.
什么 麦香肋排
What?! McRibs?!
这是上帝最爱的三明治
That's G-God's favorite sandwich!
没错
Hell, yes!
在特里克家的时候
When you're with the Trickles,
全年都可以吃到麦香肋排
McRibs are on the menu year round!
你服不服 麦当劳老头 你个小气巴拉的抠门货
Take that, Ronald McDonald, you withholdin' sack of dog shit.
这也太棒了吧
I can't believe how incredible this is.
我妈... 珀尔跟我说你们是坏人
My mo-- um -- Pearle told me you were bad people.
你们明显不是啊
You obviously can't be.
因为你们很有钱
'Cause you guys are rich.
我们曾经是坏人
Well, we were bad people.
为了汽油 如痴如狂
Out of our minds on gas fumes.
永远在寻找下一桶油
Always lookin' for the next big slurp.
我们出狱之后 就改邪归正了
When we got out of prison, we straightened up.
不再从汽车里偷油了
No more suckin' gas from cars.
那你们现在干什么呢
What do you do now?
我们做液压开采 从地球里采油
We're frackers! We suck gas from the land.
我用"鼻子"闻出油气在哪里
I use "the nose" to sniff out natural gas.
而我用"脸颊"
And I use "the cheeks"
靠着椅背喝一杯迈泰鸡尾酒
to lay back and sip hillbilly Mai Tais.
朗姆酒加山露汽水
Mountain Dew and rum.
喝起来就像我一头撞在了柱子上
This tastes like I banged my head on a pole.
太爱了
I love it.
天啊 快看
Hot damn, look at that!
你也超能吸
You got the cheeks, too!
好像是啊
I guess I do!
兰迪 很抱歉我们没联♥系♥过你
Randy, we are so sorry for not reachin' out.
我们只是 我们觉得你最好忘了我们
We just -- Ah, we thought it was best you move on.
我们不配当你的父母
We didn't deserve to be your parents.
我不在乎你们过去做了什么
I don't care what you did in the past.
重要的是 你们现在就在这里
The important thing is you're here now,
你们不会再把我丢给其他人趁机逃跑了
and you aren't tossing me at anyone as a means of escape.
没错 为此干一杯吧
Hell, I'll drink to that!
爸妈 谢谢你们送我回来
Thanks for the ride, Mom and Dad.
今天真太棒了
Today was perfect.
这是我们的荣幸
It was our pleasure.
你闻到油味了吗
Do you smell gas?
坎蒂斯 别再吹那个孩子了
Candice! Stop giving that kid sick air!
没事了
Never mind.
珀尔 快过来
Pearle! Get on over here!
非常感谢 你把我们的儿子
We can't thank you enough for doing such a terrific job
培养得这么好
raising our boy.
看来我们把孩子丢给了合适的警♥察♥
Looks like we threw our baby at the right cop.
我只是承担的某些人不愿承担的责任
Just stepping up where others wouldn't.
你们最近在干什么
What're you two up to these days?
还在干老本行"偷了就溜"吗
Still doing the ole sip 'n slip?
妈 天啊
Ma! Geeze!
他们现在不偷汽油了
They don't steal gas anymore!
他们采油气
They frack it.
这就好像让地球打嗝
It's more like burping the Earth.
你对让婴儿打嗝了解多少
What would you know about burping anything?
妈 别再为了这些家伙在我儿时
Ma! Stop getting hung up on the fact
多次抛弃我的事耿耿于怀了 友好点
that these guys abandoned me multiple times as a child and be nice!
不 我们理解 孩子
No, we understand, son.
我们不值得她的信任
We don't deserve her trust.
但我们想赢得她的信任
But we'd sure like to earn it.
我们想和兰迪一起生活 见他的朋友
We want to stay in Randy's life, meet all his friends.
要不我们在这里举办一个大型派对
Why don't we throw a big party, right here?
社区嘉年华
A neighborhood carnival!
我们想在我们家办
We'd do it at our place,
但我们正给我们的屁屁冲洗器重新上釉
but we're re-glazing our butthole washers.
在欧洲 这个叫"坐浴盆"
In Europe, they're called "bidettes."
-这太棒了 -那好吧
- That'd be amazing! - Alright then.
啤酒王
跳跳床
天啊
Oh, geeze!
不得不说 兰迪 这真的很有趣
I have to say, Randy, this is pretty fun.
很抱歉 我对特里克夫妇有偏见
I'm sorry I misjudged the Trickles.
没事
That's okay.
我只是希望早点认识他们就好了
I just wish I'd known about them sooner.
我希望你知道 我所做的一切都是出于爱
Well, I hope you realize I did what I did out of love.
嗯 我猜也是
Uh, yeah. I guess so.
啤酒王
液压开采
-液压开采 -不 儿子
- Fracking?! - No, son.
我们安排了这一切
We set this whole thing up so we could do
就是为了能秘密开采
a little bit of secret frackin'.
我就说我闻到了油气味
I knew I smelled gas!
我靠
Well, Goddamn.
你既能吸又会闻
You got the cheeks and the nose.
你们要在我家下面开采吗
You're fracking under my house?
之前我们来的那天 我就闻到了
Soon as we pulled up the other day, I smelled it.
主产区就在这里
Ah, the motherlode, right here.
我们必须采到它
We had to have it.
我们谈话时 旋转秋千正向外抽取油气
Them swings're suckin' out natural gas as we speak.
很抱歉 我们之前没告诉你
I'm sorry we didn't tell ya, bud.
因为市里反对我们
It's just the city can get real prickly
在住♥宅♥下面开采油气
about fracking under people's houses.
收益我们会分你一份
And we'll cut you in on the proceeds.
你现在是特里克家族一员了
Ah, you're a Trickle now!
你们确定这安全吗
Are you sure this is safe?
当然
Of course!
开采油气从没出过事
Nothin' bad ever happened from fracking.
这可能是个巧合
That's probably a coincidence.
沉洞要撑不住了
That sinkhole ain't playin'!
-快撤 -快走 兰迪
- Let's bail! - C'mon, Randy!
是时候像过去那样"偷了就溜"了
It's time for the ole sip 'n slip!
不 你们会毁了我的家
No! You're gonna destroy my home!
你希望我们做什么
What do you expect us to do,
把油气回输地下
dump the gas back into the ground,
填上沉洞
fill up the sinkhole,
回去跟大家做朋友吗
and go back to bein' all buddy buddy?
对啊 就是这样
Yeah, I guess!
抱歉 兰迪 但我们真不是那种
Sorry, Randy, but we ain't exactly the type
往回灌油气的人
that puts gas into stuff.
你到底是不是特里克家族一员
Now are you a Trickle or not?
再见 儿子
Adios, son!
下次见
Until next time!
超强风
爸 别这样
Dad! Don't do this!
对不起 儿子
Sorry, son.
我爱你 但我更爱油气
I love ya... but I love gas more.
妈
Ma?!